free and unfettered
prologue or interlude in Yuan dynasty drama
I never knew why in this world, my father is the only one who is better looking and more eye-catching than my daughter.
Lowered eyes lazily looked at the dead clear water inverted printed on the face, exquisite and peerless, eyebrows and eyes beautiful, straight nose, lips although some excessive red, but the shape of the lips is thin and attractive, exquisite features composed of a face that is still excessively beautiful although not angry.
The back of the hand that supported his jaw felt the skin was to tender and smooth, the color of the skin as far as the eyes could see was too white and crystalline, coupled with the slender and petite body, not half like a boy.
It depresses me.
I want to be a man, badly, badly.
I wanted to be like my father, tall and strong, with a manly bronze complexion and a stalwart, handsome face with a deep masculine charm.
Why am I not a man? Not only do I not have father’s courage, even the appearance of the body and father and a big difference, is it rumored that I look more like my dead mother, so less inherited the father’s greatness and the taste of men? Everyone who has seen me said that I look like a beautiful woman and told me that I want to beat people up.
Listen, what else can I do to confirm my manhood when descriptions of women are used over my head? Ugh, that’s depressing.
“Yao’er. ” came the low, muffled male voice coldly.
I sighed and lazily shifted my eyes inside the pavilion to meet the brilliant, mature man who stepped up to the pavilion.
He is really outstanding, sturdy and robust body erect and powerful, a handsome face sword eyebrow flying nose proud, thin lips firm, the pair of dark deep eyes like a tiger and leopard as harsh, exudes an unbeatable arrogance and hegemony, strict and indifferent atmosphere is surging amazing.
Anyone who sees him for the first time will involuntarily go weak in the knees and feel an irresistible fear and obedience from the bottom of his heart.
Sighing again, I lowered my eyes and said softly in a depressed voice, “Daddy.” Yes, this man whose outstanding aura is straight from the ghosts and gods is the very same biological father who made me live to 18 years old and still can’t even compare to the corner of his shirt.
“What’s wrong?” There was not a single fluctuation in his cold, handsome face, and he did not approach, but merely stood at the entrance to the pavilion with his hands behind his back, exuding coldness and repulsion.
Curled up in this elevated flying bridge across the lake pavilion has been a few days, so it is the reason why this three days and two days to meet not see the shadow of the father appeared, I slowly turn my eyes to the pavilion outside, extraordinarily depressed up, “Father, I want to go out of the valley.”
I was born and raised in the Izumo Valley, and the outside and inside of the valley were deliberately set up by the Bagua Xuan Gui Formation layers of obstruction, unless a specific person, other people can not go out at all, not to mention that people from the outside can easily enter the valley. According to the depiction in the books, Izumo Valley is like what the world calls a paradise of peaches, but staying there for 18 years, I’ll get tired of it too.
He didn’t make a sound, just remained silent as the cold air currents that surrounded him began to be somber and depressing.
Knowing that my request must have made him unhappy, but I was very depressed, as long as anyone who knows me knows very well that when I’m depressed, I will absolutely make everyone around me depressed with me, so whenever I’m in a bad mood, everyone will flee in all directions, and won’t even come close to me within thirty feet of a shadow.
“Father, I want to get out of the valley.” Not really minding to say another line slowly. He’s the valley master, you have to have a token granted by him to leave the valley, even I, the sole heir who is held in the hearts of all, don’t have the right to go out in private.
I couldn’t get a reply for a long time, the oppressive feeling inside the pavilion was getting heavier and heavier, I sighed and leaned my head against the cold pavilion pillar, my eyes that had been staring out of the pavilion slowly closed, well, a little sleepy.
Suddenly, the mellow, wine-like voice of a man cut through the silence, “Go ahead.”
The small, compact sign flew into my arms, and the hazy, discreet aura moved quickly away.
I lifted my eyes slightly, looking up at the gray sky since a slit in my eyes, why am I still so depressed even though my purpose has been achieved?
Chapter 1
Yuchi Easy is my name, young master of the Izumo Valley is my identity, Liuli Diviner is the code name given to me by the people in the jianghu, Yao’er is the nickname my father calls me, Prince Easy is the honorific title given to me by outsiders, and Easy is the first name given to me by my friends when they call me.
Only just out of the valley for less than half a month, I came up with a bunch of derivative names as above, but it’s not too bad, if anyone dares to address me as Miss, I’ll stamp my foot on his face.
The original jianghu is aware of the Izumo Valley, Izumo Valley is not as isolated as I imagined, but a great connection, because the flowers and plants growing in the valley are rare and rare medicinal herbs and treasures in the world, coupled with my father, the rumors of the Izumo Valley master – honored as the Izumo Sacred Lord of the man has a body of the world envied incomparable medical skills, it is said that the dead can be healed into the living, the living also naturally can be healed into the dead, the sacred reputation of the world knows no one. It is said that the dead can be healed into the living, and the living can naturally be healed into the dead, and the reputation of the saint has spread so far that no one knows about it.
Every year a large number of people want to go out of the cloud valley to seek medical treatment, but do not have access to the door, trapped in the gossip xuan gui array of people than the number of people killed by the virus is more …… But the scarce few people who were healed by dad in passing but loudly proclaimed out of the cloud valley master how powerful, so that more people to come to the name of the more people also lost their lives for nothing! ……
It looked to me like Dad was far better at harming people than he was at healing them.
But no matter what, he is still the toughest and most amazing man in my eyes, the type of man I want to be the most, the ultimate goal in life.
The Izumo Valley had been passed down single-handedly for generations, and both sons and daughters would inherit the Yuchi family name.
I think my father actually wanted a son, that’s why he ignored me since I was a child. Rumor has it that my father was half interested in my mother, and that it was my mother who was unmarried and pregnant before marrying her daughter-in-law, and as a result died in childbirth when she gave birth to me, leaving me behind as a purely fictional offspring for my father.
Because he didn’t want to see me at all, since I was a child, even if I lived in the same palace, it was not uncommon for me to not see anyone for ten days or eight days. So I am very loved, except for my father, everyone spoiled me, but the strange thing is that I do not want anyone except my father.
Is this the sin of blood? The other party obviously gave a cold ass, but still want to stick a hot face on it?
I don’t know if it’s a sulk, or a revenge mentality, but I don’t know when I started to get more and more emotionally distant, no longer like before I was 6 years old when I was always crying for my dad, but very much a go-with-the-flow type of person, who wants what he has and doesn’t have it.
It turned out that my father is full of like me this, after I cultivated such a character, he is even more mysterious, the longest record is disappeared for a full year, and finally only in the first day of the new year to reward the red packet when the face just.
I guess it shouldn’t be my fault for having a dad like that. It shouldn’t be my fault even more to have me as a daughter who is not a son.
But …… still depressed ah, why I am a daughter body? If I were a son, would father look at me more often, and would he touch my head and praise me for my intelligence when I was tsked and praised as a genius by the crowd?
Alas, even if I am destined to be a girl, if I look like a man, will father not care about the fact and pretend that I am the son he wants? But – how can a woman who doesn’t look like a man at all become a man, or even a tough, cold and arrogant man like dad?
Lounging lazily on the thick soft blanket under the tree, I sighed depressingly. This problem has plagued me for 18 years, plagued me to run from the valley to the outside of the valley now, and still can’t be solved making my mood more gloomy.
The obscure blue-blue sky whooshed past quite a few silhouettes, definitely not Little Dragon, Little Tiger, Little Sparrow and Little Wu who had followed me out of the valley, because of my depression, the four of them had fled to who knows where as early as two hours ago.
Eyes half-lidded, I didn’t move, letting the air fly around, gathering and dispersing, quickly giving me back a clear space, and then just as I drifted off to sleep, a blood-covered man light when smashed down from the thick bushes overhead, falling right next to my soft blanket, splattering a drop of scarlet, wet, hot blood onto my face.
Slowly lifting my hand to wipe off the sudden liquid with my sleeve, I lifted my eyes to meet the wide staring eyes on the bloody face and stared at them for a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time before I reluctantly skimmed my lips, “Are you dead yet?” There weren’t many people under the sun who could get me to open my mouth voluntarily.
The man opened his mouth and his hoarse voice came out with difficulty, “Aren’t you planning to see death?”
Blinking his eyes and staring at him listlessly, “How can I save the dead ones?” Although my father is able to heal the dead into the living, but I can’t, the evil way to learn too much effort, and I am very afraid of ghosts, so I resisted this kind of learning.
“So what are you waiting for?” He’s hurt to the point where he’s only breathing, and he’s still chirping and chatting with me.
I sleepily closed my eyes before slowly saying, “I was waiting for you to beg me to save you.” It turned out that I was actually the one who asked the question first, how depressing, I’m too kind aren’t I?
He coughed up a mouthful of blood in his throat, his reddish face twisted, and he said dryly and immediately, “Help, please help me.”
Why does it sound in my ears not sincere at all but with a smile? Doubtful look at the sky, I reluctantly reached out from the purse to take a thumb-sized white pill, stuffed it into his mouth, “Which, this will protect your lifeblood for a day, when someone cleans you up, I’ll see where you’re hurt.” Retracting his fingers he wiped them on his shirt and continued to lie on my blanket depressed.
He gulped down his throat, presumably swallowing the pills, and halfway through opening his mouth his breath was much smoother and less labored, “Is there a river around here? I can go clean myself, and then I’ll ask you to take a look at my injuries.”
Lazily glancing at him, “You’re scared of death aren’t you? It doesn’t matter if you wait patiently for a day, if no one comes, I’ll give you another pill.”
He was silent, then coughed and smiled, “I’m Han Tianping, how about making a friend?”
Closing her eyes, she covered her mouth and yawned, “Don’t know you.” I went out of the valley to take a break, and also incidentally responsible for sending a letter to the Phoenix Pavilion in the northern region, no mood and no time to also make any friends.
He laughed again and spat out blood before saying, “The head of the Temple of Hades in the jianghu is me, make friends with me and anything you want to know in the jianghu will be fine.”
Lifting a slight slit to slant him, “Why should I trust you? People who are dying say whatever they want, please don’t assume that people who are alive feign good intentions and believe them, and anyway, once you’re dead, who’s going to know if the people you’re trusting are liars or what.”
He laughed lowly, “I thought you were going to save me? I’m not going to die.”
The cocky tone made me look at him more and start thinking, when did I say I was going to save him? “Hey, I only said I’d look at your injuries, I didn’t say I had to save you.”
He was even drier: “Please, you must save me.”
I don’t know if it was an illusion, but those eyes were clearly smiling. Frowning, “Don’t mock me.”
His eyes softened, “I’m not mocking you, I just really like your personality.”
Really? Looking at him skeptically, she sighed softly, “It would be nice if I had a personality that people liked.” Otherwise, the father who should love me the most in the whole world shouldn’t have never approached me, it’s not my fault that I’m not a male, and it’s not my fault that I didn’t inherit his brilliance, so why should he ignore me, and the rare times when he faces me are exactly the same as when he faces other random people, he’s so cold and unfeeling.
“Has anyone broken your heart?” He asked softly.
“Yeah, my dad, can you help me flatten him?” The answer was given graciously.
His face contorted a bit, “You lost your temper with your father and ran away from home, huh?”
Considering the way he had been getting along with his dad since he was a child, “I think it would be my dad who had a temper tantrum with me, and then happily sent me out of the house, and very happily is not going to have to see me anytime soon.” Exit Cloud Valley was in the southern region, Phoenix Pavilion was in the northernmost part, the travel between them was at least half a year round trip, daddy’s mind was so obvious that there was no need to guess at all.
He was silent again, not sure if he was unconscious or not.
Very depressed, he closed his eyes and wasn’t going to bother with him anymore.
An hour later, those four escaped Dragon Tiger Sparrow Wushu all came back, at the sight of a bloody man-child beside me, they were instantly dumbfounded, only to finally ask for my permission before moving the man to be cleaned, and then moving back to let me look at the wounds.
He was badly injured, not only was he highly poisoned, but his entire body was almost tattered by the swords, but it was hard to defeat me.
It took a few days of effort to help him patch up all his wounds, and the internal injuries were taken care of by Xiao Long and the others, while I was depressed and continued to lie down and sunbathe every day under the big tree in the wilderness where I temporarily stayed.
After several more days, the man named Han Tianping was finally able to get up on his own.
Lifting his eyes to look at the tall and handsome young man in front of him, looking not older than a few years older than me, he was a little envious of him, if I can also look like this, father will definitely not ignore me, right?
He crouched in front of the blanket, a face that was gradually regaining its divinity was handsome and manly, his eyes gazed at me and he hooked a smile, “What’s your name?”
“Easy, my name is Easy.” Depressed, he lowered his eyes, not wanting to look at his piercingly handsome face.
He laughed lowly, “Good, Easy, in the future, all the sprites and ghosts in Yama Temple will all follow your instructions.”
Wincing, “Don’t.” A very clear refusal, I was still alive and wanted nothing to do with the ghosts of the dead.
He looked at me not surprised at all and smiled again, “Then please let me follow you to reach your destination, you saved me and I must repay.”
Looking at his manly flavorful face, his mood became more and more depressed, “Whatever.” Lazily drooped his head down, perhaps with such a man to get along for a long time, I will also be tainted with some of the momentum, less a minute of women’s femininity?
I don’t know if it’s because Han Tianping has too many enemies, but with him on the way, it’s a lot more lively, no matter day or night there are a large number of people who come to die.
He said that some of his men had betrayed him and paid off various assassins to take his life, and that his last hit was poisoned when he was not defending himself against his men, and that this time he would go back and clean up the mess when he had sent me to the end of the line.
I don’t care what happens, anyway, whether it’s Han Tianping or Dragon Tiger Bird Wu, none of the people who sent me to the door can interfere with me through them, no matter how noisy the world is, I’m still in a peaceful and depressed world, pondering over and over again, and then getting even more depressed over and over again.
The reason for waking up in the dead of night is the proximity of someone.
Lazily lying on his back without lifting his eyes, the people who could get through the dragon, tiger, and sparrow martial arts that guarded the outhouse were almost nonexistent, so the visitor must have been one of them.
I think it was to check if I had kicked the covers, right? Chaotic brain not working, I lay motionless in bed waiting for the man to go out and give me back the silence of sleep.
The visitor had gone to the bed, and stood quietly in the darkness for a long time.
Out of the clouds Valley only special herb flavor faintly diffused in the nose, very good smell, and did not smell a few times, but by their own subconscious forced to remember, only because that is my cold-hearted father only have the smell.
The mood was immediately depressing, making me cringe.
Warm, rough palms suddenly covered my eyes, and before I had time to think about what was going on, something soft and warm pressed against my lips.
Surprised, he lifted his eyes, unable to see anything but the feeling of his eyelashes brushing against the palm that covered his vision.
A hot snort sprays my cheek, the pressure on my lips increases and begins to rub, and as if he knows I’m awake, something wet and slippery actually parts my lips and probes inside my mouth.
What is this person doing? Passively opening my mouth slightly and letting that soft but firm wet thing move in my mouth for half a day, I realized with hindsight that it seemed to be a tongue, a very flexible tongue, then the one that was pressed tightly against my mouth should be someone’s mouth, and the action that was going on right now could be described as a kiss.
Why should I accept a kiss from someone I can’t see? I just raised my hands, but the wrists of both hands were successively captured by the same large hand and pressed towards my head. The lips and tongue were still tangled in eagerness, and the saliva that didn’t belong to me actually had a hint of sweetness ……
The confinement was finally lifted, and as I gasped for breath sharply, I heard a husky yet low and muffled soft murmur, “Yao’er ……”
Is it Daddy?
Snapping his eyes open, the room was empty.
Stunned and surprised to touch on their numb and swollen lips, the tongue is still swept over the slight pain, the mouth still does not belong to my taste, just now I am absolutely not dreaming, that mellow call even if I have not heard a few times, but also know that only dad will be so called me ……
But Daddy is in Izumo Valley, why would he show up in my house and kiss me?
The daddy who wouldn’t even look at me?
Doubtfully, I reclosed my eyes, since I left the valley, I became more and more light sleeper, in the valley, I slept until dawn, never waking up in the middle of the day, but after I left the valley, any small sound would naturally wake me up. Such a difference that I even found someone came in to kiss me after I fell asleep?
Any chance it’s Daddy?
Heart thumps violently, is it really daddy ……
A subtle flinch went up, if it was really dad, did that mean he didn’t actually hate me? Does it mean he doesn’t actually hate me? Regardless of why he would desire intimacy with his own son, the thought that there was a possibility that he didn’t dislike me quietly diffused joy into his heart.
Sitting up abruptly, ignoring the fact that it was late at night, I haphazardly put on my coat and shoes and headed out of the inner room.
Sleeping in the outer room were Little Dragon and Little Bird, guarding the gate entrance were Little Tiger and Little Wu, seeing me run out, they looked at each other in surprise, “Young Master?”
“My father is here isn’t he?” Eagerly looking around, the small temporary rented compound only has a glimpse of two rooms, that Han Tianping did not condescend at all to choose the woodshed as a bedroom, the dark surroundings, can not see any other silhouettes at all.
Little Dragon and Little Bird chased after me from the house not quite fully clothed, more surprised than I was, “Master is here?”
Xiaohu and Xiaowu shook their heads in wonder and followed along to look around, “No ah, no one has come close at all.”
I wrinkled my eyebrows, “Not even an assassin?” How could that be, because of Han Tianping’s entourage, assassins popped up all the time, and the middle of the night was a good time for assassins to converge.
Xiaohu and Xiaowu shook their heads, “No, it’s quiet tonight, not half an assassin came to the door.”
“Then Daddy must have come.” No killer came to the door, it must be because of daddy. Pushing them away and pulling open the door, he ran out the door a long way, but everywhere there was only still vast darkness, without the slightest hint of human presence.
“Young Master?” The four Dragon Tiger Sparrow Wushu, who were around my age, followed me, one more puzzled than the other.
My heart, which had rarely been happy, fell at once. Was I dreaming? Because too much desire to father’s square eyes and do the absurd dream? Bitter astringency welled up, silently lowered his eyes, mockingly laughed, so my cultivation is not enough? So will still suffer from loss, even still thirsty for know will never have, even learned to deceive themselves.
Lifting his hand to touch his lips, the heat on them subsided to a cold, icy chill.
“Young Master?” Dragon Tiger Sparrow Wu surrounded me in worry.
“It’s okay.” Smiling shallowly, I turned back to the courtyard with my eyes downcast and stepped into my house, closing and hiding the door behind me as the burning liquid stung my eyes and slid down my cheeks with no more restraint.
Raising my hands to cover my face, I laughed at what an idiot I was.
The Great Tang Dynasty, the country is prosperous and the people are at peace, both the government and the people are living in abundance. But in the Jianghu, it’s still bloody, at least around me.
Boringly watching Han Tianping kick a freshly chopped off head to the side, I rested my jaw and yawned, “We’re not going to Phoenix Pavilion, let’s go to your Yama Temple first.” The strong smell of blood spread in the wind, I don’t really mind killing people, but if I’m targeted by the government, it’s not worth it to drag me to jail.
Han Tianping shook the blood off his sword and took it back to the scabbard, hearing my words, he turned around in surprise, “Easy, don’t you hate my Yanluo Temple?”
“What I hate is your unoriginal way of naming things.” Something about sprites and ghosts sounds creepy and scary.
“Okay then, let’s go.” He was quick to agree, very straightforward.
Dragon Tiger Sparrow Wu eyes full of excitement, first time out of the valley they are very interested in everything, even killing people will be very happy to use the various means learned, and then get together to compare with the practice of martial arts hypothesis how different points.
The carriage moved slowly, and I slumped back into the soft cushions of the vehicle, feeling low and depressed.
Since the strange dream a few days ago, it was hard for me to fall asleep again, naturally I didn’t have any more beautiful dreams, what I got in return was an increasingly gloomy and depressed state of mind. Lazily closing my eyes, I began to think wildly, if this trip out of the valley, I am very lucky to die outside, will father be very happy?
Would he immediately remarry and have another child, and then be blessed with a son, and live happily ever after, putting the stain that had been there-me-behind him, never to be thought of again?
Slowly furrowing his brow, he raised his hand to his cloth-wrapped chest, still feeling the slight concave curves. Sighing, he shifted his eyes between his legs, even if he took a knife and cut off his chest, he couldn’t grow the God-given talent for men there, could he?
Laughing at his own ridiculous thoughts, he didn’t bother to pay attention to the sudden and violent shock of the carriage and the familiar sounds of fighting and killing that had risen again outside, and let his thoughts wander, feeling like a ridiculous ghost.
The sheer force of rushing into the carriage and ripping me out with one hand brought me back slightly.
Han Tianping yelled, “The carriage is about to tip over, what are you gawking at?” Before he could finish yelling, he was kicked aside by Dragon Tiger Sparrow Wu, and the four of them were firmly guarded with me at the center.
Stunned tilted his head up to see in my eyes always obscure lifeless sky and clouds, around the blood splatter and cruel tearing can not enter my eyes and can not shock my God, even if I desperately want to feel the sky blue, but how can I not move, everything, are gray, dead.
Suddenly black veils shot out from four directions, pushing me overhead, and then a strong, firm arm locked securely around my waist.
Not familiar at all but hidden in the depths of memory of the faint smell of herbs diffused on the nose, scattered sanity instantly returned to the brain, I was shocked to lift up my eyes, looking up at the man who swept me: “Father ……” This is the first time he touched me, the first time he was so close to me, he How could he come, how could he hold me, how could ……
The strong body was taut and exuded a strong resistance. Without even looking at me, he flew to one side and immediately threw me away with his arms up, standing three feet away from me with his back in his hands, indifference and harshness on his cold, perfect face that was deviated sideways.
Steadying myself and floating to the ground, I lowered my long eyelashes, my heart stifled. Glancing at the upright and handsome man on that side who treated me as if I didn’t exist, I averted my eyes and saw that my previous position was pierced by dozens of sharp arrows like a manzan that makes silkworms spit out their silk and make cocoons.
It turns out …… that only at the moment of life and death, father will have no choice but to come close to me to save this single vein of mine?
After dozens of extra corpses appeared on the ground, Dragon Tiger Sparrow Wu respectfully saluted down towards his dad, “Master.”
And the four tall, robust black shadows that fell behind Father bowed toward me, “Young Master.”
I slowly hooked up an arc, and in my lowered eyes, I saw the nearest dragon, tiger, sparrow, and martial arts who were very timid and quietly backed away. Heart, depressed beyond measure.
The only other surviving standing person, Han Tianping, walked over and took a curious look at our stance, smiling cheerfully as he arched his hand and clasped his fists, “My name is Han Tianping, many thanks for the favor of rescuing us.”
I didn’t need to look to feel the cold chill on my father’s side, and didn’t expect to hear that my father would be conversing with me in front of outsiders. I closed my eyes, “Father, I’ll go first.” Walking slowly alone, I walked into the pile of corpses that filled the ground, then paused.
“Young Master!” The worried and scared Dragon Tiger Sparrow Wu called out at the same time.
I was depressed, very depressed and lowered my head, looking at a hand reaching out from the pile of corpses pulling on the hem of my robe, even the dead would pull me to a stop, why would my heartless father not even call me?
Han Tianping came over in large strides, cutting off that hand with a sharp sword, also lowering his head and looking at the hem of my shirt, “Oops, it’s dirty.” Pointing to the blood marks on the snow-white fabric.
Raising his eyes to look at him, a head taller than me, robust and strong, manly, looks like a man. Slowly turning my head, I looked at my indifferent father at the other end, ignoring his gaze into the distance, and smiled, “Father, do you want a son-in-law?” More or less a son-in-law is considered half a son, would he be slightly happier?
A furious cold hostility immediately flooded around him, and he directly ignored me and flew away.
Following them were the clear black-clad Green Dragon, White Tiger, Vermilion Bird and Xuanwu.
All of a sudden, the only thing left in heaven and earth were the stupid Dragon Tiger Sparrow Wu and me, and Han Tianping, who was beside me with a puzzled face.
“You have sisters to marry?” Han Tianping asked in amusement.
I swept him a breathless grin, “Not anymore.” It seemed the idea didn’t interest Daddy at all, guess he still wanted a real son.
Dragon Tiger Sparrow Wu shivered and came over, wailing, “Goodness, Young Master, you’re scaring me to death.”
Did I? Very depressed, he swept them a glance, sighed and closed his eyes, his mood became even more depressed as his father’s cold face floated in his mind.
Walking at a slow speed towards the Yama Temple, my title of Liuli Diviner spreads at a fast speed towards the Jianghu Lake, only because occasionally, in the middle of the road, I practiced face reading to the people passing by the carriage, which attracted a large number of face readers and made my title spread and become famous smoothly.
God knows, I’m supposed to be practicing medicine ……
So, while Han Tianping was killing his way into Yanluo Hall to root out the traitors, I was besieged in the carriage to the surging crowd, depressingly revealing everyone’s heavenly chances so as to cause my untimely demise and give my father a chance at a second child.
I wonder how many people I’ll have to talk to about all the ups and downs of their lives before I can return to my soul and leave this world that depresses me.
I know, I’m starting to get tired of the world.
Originally thought that in the Izumo Valley father ignored can be in my proposal to go out of the valley to get a little improvement, the result is that he simply did not even a little reaction to agree, but also very incidentally sent me to a distant place, half a year do not have to go back.
Then when my life was in danger, it came out of nowhere out of necessity, saved my life, and then threw me away as if I had been glued to a poison.
In fact, shouldn’t I be thankful that he would still come to my rescue on the basis of me being his single vein? At least he didn’t just stand by and call his men to save me, but reluctantly stepped in himself.
But why do I feel more and more depressed the more I think about it? Day by day, I feel bored and disgusted with everything I look at. In the past, although the world was gray in my eyes, I could at least recognize the colors, but now everything is just black and white and gray, dead.
Han Tianping, who had successfully cleared the traitors and recovered Yan Luodian, continued to accompany us north according to his promise, and when he heard the title given to me in the jianghu, he laughed out loud in consternation, and then asked earnestly, “What you have learned is supposed to be the art of healing, isn’t it?”
Lazily, he cocked his head to look at his dark gray face, “Hmm.”
He raised a thick eyebrow, “What’s wrong with you? Words aren’t coming out are you sick?”
Shaking her head, she lowered her long eyelashes and slowly fiddled with the dishes on the plate in front of her. As early as an hour ago, Longhu Birdwu and the others entrusted Han Tianping to take care of me before running off without a trace, leaving us in the inn bored with our lunch.
He suddenly reached out and stiffly lifted my chin, “Easy, listen to me, your father ignoring you is his problem, it has nothing to do with you, your life is for you to walk on your own.”
Quietly, he looked into both of his eyes and slowly curved his lips, “How strong is your Hades?”
He was puzzled, but still answered, “Very strong, the strongest assassin organization in the jianghu.”
Pushing his hand away, he rested his chin, “Do you know about the Valley of the Exodus?”
He raised his eyebrows in surprise, “I know, the place where the most potent poisons and the most precious herbs grow, the land of the Sage Monarch of Exodus Cloud, no one knows where it is.”
Blinking softly, she smiled, “I’ll give you the location and a way into the valley, and you can help me put it out.”
He furrowed his brow tightly and stared at me for a few moments before he said, “Don’t tell me anything, I’ll spread misleading rumors and send others to their deaths.”
“You’re smart.” Playing with the chopsticks in my hand, I tightened the curve on my lips and lazily lowered my eyes, “If only I were you.” Sighing softly, I lowered my head and leaned into the crook of my elbow, “If only I were you.” If Only I Were a Son ……
On the way to the Phoenix Pavilion, Han Tianping has been trying to find ways to tease me to talk, but always unsuccessful to make his face with obvious frustration, the dragon and tiger sparrow martial finally look at secretly told him, my nature has always been like this, the more persuasion, the more unhappy, to the end of the mood is not good, it will make everyone’s mood together depressed to go down.
When Han Tianping ran up to me and asked me very directly if that was the case, I nodded, “Don’t you see that they’re always looking for excuses to stay away from me?” And very unscrupulously setting up outsiders to keep me company.
Han Tianping rolled his eyes and patted my shoulder, “You saved my life, no matter what I won’t let you be so depressed, at least look like a human, right? Don’t waste such a beautiful appearance.”
Subconsciously touching my tender face, I looked up at his very masculine face with envy, “I don’t look like a guy at all do I?”
He laughed out loud, “Ain’t never seen a male look as good as you.”
Somewhat annoyed and surprised, “My dad is just better looking than me.”
He scratched his chin and tried to recall, “Your father, huh? I actually think he’s more like your big brother.” Smiling cheerfully, he said, “He could be considered a very handsome man, but he’s not even the same type as you, you don’t have that overwhelming aura.”
I know, depressing. Looking toward the misty gray sky, I tugged at the corners of my mouth, recalling a long, long time ago, when I had once secretly listened to my father’s conversations with other people, and he said, “Why am I not a son.
That was when I realized that there was a reason why I couldn’t see my dad no matter how much I cried for him when I was a kid.
The fault is not in me or in daddy, the fault is only in my gender, I am a female.
Late one night, I asked Han Tianping to quietly take me back to Hades, deliberately closed all my news, let everyone think I went up in smoke.
Han Tianping relocated the Hall of Hades to the mountains along the Yangtze River, I taught them to use my newly comprehended Five Elements Formation to hide the entire Hall of Hades completely. The way the formation goes and the way the formation is laid because it is too new, so there are always problems, either they can’t go in, or they can’t come out after walking in, and they set it up repeatedly for a long time before stabilizing it.
For some time I lived in the highest depths of Hades, in the Promenade House at the top of the mountain.
Han Tianping had nothing to do but run to my side and talk to me about any gossip about Izumo Valley in the jianghu, but every time the words were the same: “If it’s not too secretive, or if our Yama Temple’s information network is incompetent, Izumo Valley is still mysterious enough to remain untouched.”
I huddled in the fence of the craggy cliff facing me and looked out at the gray sea of clouds, “Probably my father has a new wife and a new heir?” I think Han Tianping should have guessed my identity, so he spoke without a clue.
He heard, “That’s good, you’re free.”
My heart was throbbing vaguely, the taste of freedom turned out to be so hard. I tilted my head against the pillar, “If I hadn’t saved you in the first place, would you still be taking such good care of me?”
He was silent for a while, “Will, you have me at your mercy.”
“Are you going to marry me?” Turning my face, I looked at his face that was fading in my eyes.
He seemed to be frowning, “Easy, if you don’t say who you are, I won’t guess, if you don’t say your gender, then I don’t care, you’re my friend whether you’re a man or a woman, and it’s your person I pity, not your gender.”
It seems like he knows the reason why I’ve been depressed ah. Raising my hand, unable to see the lines of my fingers, I smiled slightly, “Han Tianping, it’s lucky to know you.” Who else under the sky would be able to say these words of his to me?
His face, a step away from mine, suddenly came closer, “Why are you still so unhappy if you are understanding reason? Easy, I’ve never seen you smile genuinely, not in three years.”
The moment some dismay, the original I have known him for three years? Sharp pain makes me suddenly unable to breathe, three years of time, he told me that the Valley of the Clouds has never been any movement, so it turns out that three years of time, I really let father completely forgotten?
Hot tears fell, I smiled in a daze and grabbed Han Tianping’s arm, “Kill me, Han Tianping.” What was I expecting? After three years in a daze, can I forget about the passage of time, and can other people be indifferent and just go on for three years?
He was appalled, “Are you crazy?”
Grabbing the lapel of the chest, so sad, after the depression is bored, after the boredom is numb, after the numbness is only despair, “Han Tianping, I think I’m really crazy.” Crazy enough to clearly feel the tearing of the heart, feel the crazy surge of blood in the veins.
“Easy, Easy? Don’t scare me, you’re such a good healer, don’t let yourself go off the deep end, it’s not worth it to either one, staying alive is what matters!” He gripped my shoulders tightly and yelled anxiously.
I thought it would be so much easier for me to be the one to ditch everything, but why does it hurt so much? Blinking away the tears, I smiled and shook my head, “I’m fine, I just got carried away.” Nudging him lightly, signaling for him to let go, “You’re right, staying alive is all that matters.”
His breathing was turbulent and his tone trembled slightly, “Easy, whoever helped you with your name must have cursed you.”
Giggling, she whispered to him, “The man who helped me with my name was my daddy.”
That night, I left Hades, where I had lived for three years without realizing it, and leaped down from the top of a high cliff.
Pitch black, endless pitch black, cold, penetrating cold, I laughed feebly, surely I couldn’t expect death to bring me warmth.
The warmth of the only time I’d ever been that close seemed so extravagant, and even though the other person exuded strong resistance, it was the only memory I had in my life.
Chapter II
Lift your eyes, it’s a hazy world, the air is fresh and you can hear the pleasant singing of birds all around.
“You’re awake!” A low, unfamiliar, husky voice carried extreme surprise, followed by a large, cold palm caressing my forehead.
Frowning, I calmly inclined my head towards the blurry figure beside the bed, unable to make out his outline, “Which one are you?” Curling my elbows, I make an effort to get up, inexplicable weakness confusing me, “What the hell, Sparrow?” Raising his voice, he called out.
“Yaoi?” The man at the bedside reached out, moving with a very unskillful motion to help me up, and by the sound of his voice it was full of confusion.
Glancing at him lazily, “Are you new to the valley? Do you know the rules? My Free Residence is not to be entered or exited arbitrarily, go find Little Bird and I’ll spare you the chastisement.”
The air seemed to choke, and it was a moment before he straightened his tall form and walked out the door.
Somewhat bemused, I waited for the hazy red figure to walk in the doorway before I lazily said, “Sparrow?” The vision in my eyes seemed suddenly much worse than before I went to bed, but I didn’t care, dead or alive.
The crisp female voice was strange and cautious, “Young Master, are you awake?”
Oddly inquiring, slightly annoyed, he closed his eyes, “Attend to me and freshen up, I’m hungry.”
After a moment’s hesitation, she came up to assist me in getting up and changing my clothes, then washing my face and combing my long hair.
Quietly letting her serve me, I lowered my eyes and clenched my feeble fists, “Am I sick?” My whole body is limp and weak, so it turns out that sleeping in the gazebo is still not very good?
She gave a careful enunciation.
“Go and prepare thin quilts for me at the pavilion.” Although I don’t like it, my body is my own after all, and it’s still myself who is sick and uncomfortable.
She huffed, “Young Master, your body can’t stand the wind yet.”
“Is it that serious? Isn’t it just suffering from wind chill?” I said as I took my own pulse and became slightly surprised, “How could …… the five organs be damaged, the meridians all injured, and there is a heavy blow to the head?” “I fell down while sleeping in a tree?” Thought it was a cold while sleeping in the gazebo, the memory in his head was a little confused up.
Little Bird’s voice was muffled with a sobbing tone, “Don’t the young master remember? When you were sent back, you only had one breath left, if it wasn’t for the master doing his best to save you, you were afraid ……”
Deflecting his face, he watched her raise his sleeve to wipe his cheeks, not being able to see her tears, but hearing her choking, he let out a faint smile, “That’s a big thank you to daddy.” Heart quietly fluttered a little, often not seen father saved me is it?
“Young master ……” she drawled, her tone becoming careful again, “you have lost your temper with your master?”
Surprised, he hooked his lips, “How could it be? I haven’t seen daddy for almost a year, not you said, I still don’t know it’s daddy who saved me, how could I lose my temper?” Father who never took the initiative to pay attention to me would actually save me with his own hands, it was too late to be happy.
She turned her head.
Following the direction she turned, I saw standing in the doorway the strange man who had sat by my bedside earlier, “Who is he? Who is he? A doctor from outside the valley?” How ridiculous, the whole world medical skill is absolutely no better than father’s people, how would have invited outside the valley to heal me.
Little Bird snapped her head around to look at me, “Young Master, you-“
The man in the doorway spoke up and interrupted her, “You don’t remember me, Yaoi?”
Narrowing his eyes slowly, “My father is the only one who can call me that, so shut up if you don’t want to die.” No one was that rude, who did he think he was?
Sparrow huffed backward, her whole body shaking.
The man in the doorway was silent, walking slowly forward with his hands behind his back.
As he got closer, I slowly tilted my head up and realized that he was very tall, more than a head above me, making it a bit of a struggle to tilt my neck up, “Didn’t anyone tell you that I’m the young master of Izumo Valley?” Feeling a bit amused, is this person not afraid of death or what?
He lowered his head, his expression unreadable in his blurred features, and after a long time, he asked in a low voice, “You are Yuchi Easy?”
Smiling playfully, “I am, who are you?”
“You broke your head?” His voice was a little choked.
Snorting, “What’s it to you?” Too lazy to care about this inexplicable person, I restored my neck into a straight line and turned to the side of the little finch, hesitating for a moment before asking, “Where is my father? He …… is out of the valley again isn t he?” Can’t even let him stay a little longer when I’m sick?
“Get out!” The man in front of him suddenly stormed.
Sparrow panicked and fled out the door.
For my part, I slowly tilted my head again and smiled curiously, “You can actually order people around me?” Who gave him that right, and why would Sparrow obey?
He grabbed my chin, hard, and leaned his whole body down, his breath almost spilling onto my face, “Don’t play games with me, Yaoi, who do you think I am?”
Lowering his eyes to look at the slender, cold fingers on his chin, then raising his eyes to meet his hazy face, he sneered, “Looking for death.” Raising his hand, he slapped his palm over.
He didn’t even duck and let me slap him on his waist and stomach.
I narrowed my eyes in confusion, “My father gave you an antidote?” There was no way anyone could take a slap from me and not die, the poison in my palm was something no one but my father could cure.
He fell silent, and when he spoke again, there was more than a hint of panic in his thick voice, “You forgot about me, you forgot about me didn’t you? Yao’er?”
“I don’t know you.” Giving a very direct answer, I pushed his hand away without further force and walked around him toward the door, only to be yanked violently by the wrist and yanked hard to turn around and face him.
Glancing at the large palm on my wrist, I frowned, “Your temperature is low, are you sick?” Only then did I try to very kindly raise my hand to take his pulse, but he quickly let go and took a big step back.
Shrinking pupil eyes, remembering that dad always darted back whenever I approached, heart throbbed for a moment, unwilling to look back, simply turned around and walked away, this time he didn’t stop me.
Walking out of the compartment, I saw a full crowd gathered outside the door of the room, seeing the sudden four dark figures, I blinked in surprise, “Where is my father?” The perpetually black-clad Green Dragon, White Tiger, Vermilion Bird, and Xuan Wu were my father’s personal guards, and if they were here, my father must be!
Unable to hide the joy in my heart, I looked around, but I couldn’t find the upright figure.
The crowd was silent the moment I opened my mouth, all blurry faces turned to me.
Slightly disappointed, should have been clear about the fact that father doesn’t want to be close to me, he’s afraid that he’s just sending Qinglong and the others over to check on me, saved my life, I should be thankful, what more can I ask for? Forget it, “I’m hungry, Little Sparrow.”
No longer having the presence of mind to pay attention to these unreadable faces, I slowly made my way out, “Bring the meal to the pavilion.”
Outside the free residence is the vast glistening lake, the lake a flying high bridge, the bridge is the top of an exquisite pavilion, is my favorite place to stay, every time the mood is depressed, I will be here to curl up and let my thoughts wander.
The meal was served, and left alone in the pavilion was the tall man who had been strange before.
“I am …… Yuchi Jiangzi’s best friend, you, once met.” He sat on the stone chair farthest from me and spoke in a low voice.
Somewhat amused, he laughed, inclining his head to lean against the pillar, “Really?” This person lying also do not draft, my father has always been indifferent to me, how could he introduce me to his friends, I even father has no friends are not clear.
Awkwardness surrounded me as I lazily closed my eyes, “There’s no need to try and get close to me, I have nothing, I don’t have much of a relationship with my father, and merely hold the title of young master of Izumo Valley.”
His tone stiffened, “I’m sorry.”
Squinting at the world in the haze, I realized I couldn’t argue the colors, only black and white with varying shades of gray, “It’s okay.”
Gao Jian’s body came to my side at some point, and he reached out his hand, hesitantly, and touched my forehead.
The ice-like body temperature made me frown and dodge away, “You’re cold, don’t touch me.” Since he couldn’t be poisoned by me, it was completely impossible for me, out of energy and weak, to kill him, so I had to wimp out and evade.
His large palm balled into a fist and retracted, his voice coming out like a rock choked in his throat, “I’m sorry.”
Not interested in caring about him, lazily sitting in the cushions and looking out of the pavilion without a care in the world, I suddenly turned my head, “You said you’re a friend of my father’s?”
He sat back the furthest distance from me, that face was facing me, “Yes.”
Taking a deep breath, I barely managed to hook my lips, “My father is in the valley?” Since his friend was here, there was no reason for him to be out, right?
“He is.” His voice had been slower with some difficulty.
The mood is instantly pleasant, holding his chin and turning his head, he really wants to sneak to father’s Jiang Zi Palace to see him, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen him.
“Do you want to go see your father?” He asked suddenly.
I didn’t move, bending out a mocking smile, “He won’t see me.” No matter how much I chased after him, he wouldn’t even bestow a back, even the special medicinal odor emanating from him was something Xiaohu told me. The pitifully small amount of knowledge I had about dad was all relayed from bystanders.
A black bird flew by, I stared dumbly at the small figure, envious, “good freedom ah ……” fly that unattached, unrestrained, which like me so stupid, I’m afraid to die are detained in the valley.
The low inquiry came again, “Do you want to leave the valley?”
I’m not sure if I’m going to leave the valley, but I’m not sure if I’m going to leave the valley. In the valley is already out of reach with father, once out of the valley, I’m afraid that even the blood relationship will be cut off, right? Lightly laughed, “Going out, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to come back.”
“Why?”
Isn’t it obvious yet? “Daddy won’t let me come back.” If I had given up of my own accord, daddy would definitely not want me in name only. If even daddy doesn’t want me anymore, in this world, who else would want me? Rolling wetness slid down his cheeks, turning his head sideways and raising his hand to wipe the wetness off his face with his sleeve, a little surprised that his emotions were showing in front of outsiders.
“I’m sorry.” He said very slowly and hoarsely.
I turned to him, suddenly curious, “What do you look like?” What about Father’s friend, what would he look like?
He couldn’t hide his surprise, “You can’t see me?”
“Can’t see.” Not hiding it, pointing to his eye, “Maybe I really did break my brain from the fall, I can’t see anything or identify colors.”
He got up abruptly and came over, “Give me your hand.”
Losing his smile, “My father couldn’t even diagnose it, so how could you possibly know what it is?” Glancing at his large outstretched hand, “There seems to be something wrong with your body temperature, better go and let my father take a look at you.” What kind of person has a body temperature that’s like ice.
He paused, “My body temperature is normal, you’re the only one who feels cold.”
What a strange statement, I shrugged my shoulders, “Maybe, or it could be chalked up to breaking my brain in a fall.” Being sick is a fact of life anyway, no matter what abnormalities are allowed to happen.
“Give me your hand.” He demanded.
Somewhat annoyed, “Don’t be so bossy when you claim to be daddy’s friend.” Who does he think he is?
The large hand squeezed into a fist again and withdrew it, and he stood wordlessly for a long time, leaping over his shoulder.
Indifferent, I leaned back against the pillar and continued my daydreaming.
On the second day, when Little Bird and Little Dragon accompanied me up to the gazebo, that strange man appeared again, and I brushed my head away, lazily climbing up to my old seat and sitting down, not even interested in looking at him.
Little Bird served breakfast and sat on the chair beside me seemingly uneasy for a while before whispering as I slowly drank my congee, “Young master, in a few more days it will be your birthday, the master has ordered to set up a feast to wash away the joy for you.”
Curved up a very sarcastic smile, my birthday, my father never show up, just instructed the white tiger them to send a gift just …… raised his head, a little puzzled to look at the little bird, “Wait, the month before last was my 18th birthday, how come it’s a new birthday so soon? ” Somewhat depressed up, father he even the hour of my birth have already forgotten?
Sparrow was dumbfounded and turned to look at the man sitting quietly at the far end of the pavilion.
I raised my eyebrows lazily, “What are you looking at him for? Who the hell is he?”
Xiao Long, who stood to the side, said, “He …… is a close friend of the master, and was ordered by the master to come to accompany the young master.”
A slight grunt of disgust, “I don’t need anyone.” Turning his head to brace his jaw, the only person in the whole world I want around is my daddy, I don’t want anyone but him.
Birdie took the bowl in my hand and quietly retreated with Little Dragon.
I knew the man furthest away from me in the booth was still there, but it wasn’t my business to just ramble on, letting my thoughts gradually drain away, closing my eyes and sinking into a meditative state.
As the spirit almost floated out of my body, a very large palm covered my eyes, and then no sooner had I been able to concentrate on my thoughts than soft sensations pressed against my lips.
The rubbing on my lips was soft and gentle, the warmth soaking into my heart, the palms on my eyelids radiating a powerful warmth that made me drowsy and insatiable for more of this unfamiliar yet comforting sensation.
The warmth on my lips cooled and a low sigh spilled over the corners of my mouth, “Yao’er ……”
The drowsy sanity suddenly awakened, the special herb smell lingering at the end of the nose is I smelled in the Jiangzhi Purple Palace, Xiaohu said it was only the unique smell on the body of the father, it is the father!
Surprised, he lifted his eyes violently, “Daddy ……,” and saw the empty gazebo, except for me, there was only the strange man at the farthest end from me.
The loss was so thick that my heart clenched and shrunk so much that it hurt, and I swept my eyes at the strange man facing me, barely ticking my lips, feeling so wretched.
Originally, it is a dream, only in the dream inside, daddy will lean so close to me, close enough to feel his body temperature …… daddy have body temperature? And what degree of warmth is his body temperature? I never had the chance to know.
The lonesome inclination of the head, the mood is incredibly depressing up.
The man on the other end of the line suddenly opened his mouth, “I’ll go get your father.”
Narrowing my eyes and gazing at the gray world beyond the pavilion, I grinned, my tone trailing off, “It’s a foolish thing to be delusional.” After eighteen years of living, I’d long since realized my place in my father’s heart and would never again ask for anything I simply couldn’t have.
“He will come.” There was firmness in the man’s tone, and then he got up and left.
I ate and laughed, stretching out my hand to catch the invisible wind, but how could the wind be caught? How could my indifferent father listen to the advice of his so-called best friend and come to see me?
Disease, is father medical, since I sober, father never came to visit me a glance, why do I make it difficult for myself to look forward to every day? It’s not like I’m a fool.
Noiselessly someone approached the gazebo.
My heart began to leap faster uncontrollably, hesitating, hesitating again, cautioning myself again and again not to be so foolish as to believe in my own good fortune, but still I straightened up and turned my head eagerly as someone stepped into the gazebo.
The only people in the pavilion were the strange man, and the black-clad Green Dragon and the four of them.
I laughed, softly leaning against the pillar, laughing uncontrollably, when the laughter gradually disappeared from my mouth, I lowered my long eyelashes and said very, very softly, “Please don’t give me ridiculous expectations, I will take it seriously.” Lazily propped myself up, got off the ground, and slowly walked out of the gazebo, unable to stop the intense hatred that welled up in my heart as I brushed past the five of them, “I really hate you guys!”
Sunrise and sunset, morning and dusk, my body is recovering fast and I’m getting more and more depressed.
When the New Year rolled around and I lost my dad at the New Year’s Eve dinner table, I realized that my heart, which I thought was numb, still ached.
Wrapped in a light, warm ermine fur, I stood under the gray sky and looked up at the high heavens and felt my heart die.
The strange man stayed by my side, never leaving, even on New Year’s Eve, at the same table with me.
Is it still true that he is a close friend of daddy? I smiled blankly, “Please tell my dad that I want to get out of the valley.” Forget it, forget it, what’s with the self-righteousness? Let me be the one to take the initiative to abandon everything and forget about it, so as not to aggravate my father by wasting food to feed me, a daughter in the form of a dummy.
The strange man had been on the far end of the line, and as I drifted off to spit out my heart’s desire, he came out with a low growl, “I forbid it!”
An amused tug on his lips, “You’re not my daddy.” If father hears this, will he say yes or no? If he refused, then it meant that I was still more or less slightly important, even if he only saw me as a pawn to carry on his bloodline, it was still worth it, at least he still had me in his eyes.
But if he says yes …… if he says yes ……
The nose is very sour, the dancing breath diffuses the eyes, if he agrees, it must be true that he doesn’t want me anymore, then in this world, where else can I go? What else can I do? What am I living for?
“Your father will not let you out of the valley.” The tall man who had stood in front of me at some point said in a tone lowered with anger.
My heart seized up and I knew I was smiling an ugly, forced smile, “Don’t help me fool myself.”
Daddy …… will let me go, for sure ……
Deep in the night, awakened by something.
The soft object against my mouth rubbed tenderly yet firmly, a muffled helpless sigh brushed my lips over and over again, “Yao’er, Yao’er, what the hell am I going to do with you ……”
Dreaming again? Dreaming of something that could never happen? A moment of trance, lifted the eyes, the eyes of a black only to find a huge palm covered in my eyes. “Father, father ……” exported at the same time, tightly closed his eyes, even if it is dreaming, can not let me not wake up? I don’t want to taste the flavor of a broken heart again.
The faint scent of herbs diffused without disappearing, and a low murmur remained close to my lips, hissing and raging as I squeezed out the difficult words, “I will never let you out of the valley, never.”
Backward breath, can not believe what I heard, dismayed, shocked, unbelievable! But …… so sweet, so happy clear stream surged up to the heart that had been gripping pain, I was ecstatic ah!
“Yao’er, I won’t let you leave me again.”
The whisper of a vow called me so happy I wanted to cry, wet liquid slipped out of the corners of my tightly closed eyes and moistened the large palms over my eyes, I gripped the bedding on my body and choked back a laugh, “This dream, it’s so beautiful.” So beautiful that I can’t even believe it heh.
The low voice was a bit choked, “I’m sorry, Yao’er, I’m sorry.”
Warm kisses streaked down my nose, cheeks, chin and lips, and it was then that I heard my blood surging and crashing violently through my veins and got a little dizzy, “Daddy, do you want me?” What came out of my mouth was the fear that had been buried in my heart for 18 years.
His low sigh was heavy as smoke, “I love you.”
The mood was good, so good.
Everyone who sees me can’t help but stare, but I don’t care, I’m in such a good mood that I feel like I’m floating, it’s unrealistic but so beautiful.
So nestled in the study, which I hadn’t entered in a long time, and let the sparrow read to me.
Perhaps because of the state of mind, less than half an hour, has memorized the book, but also comprehended a new formation, end of the warm cup of tea, curved smile, lazy bird has been reading the book side has been rushing to see my blurred face.
When Xiao Wu brought up the medicine, he also stayed for a long time before softly saying, “Young master smiled.”
Touching the tender face, I softly curved my eyes, “Really?” Drinking the medicine down, I realized that the hazy image in front of me seemed a little clearer.
The strange man appeared in the doorway of the study, visibly stunned at the sight of me.
Hooking a smile, I rested my chin and watched as Little Bird and Little Wu bowed to him and then exited, laughing lightly, “Why did they bow to you?” Little Bird and the others are the heirs of Qing Long and the others, the only ones who can make them bow are Qing Long and the four of them, besides father and me.
I seemed to have ignored what was going on around me for so long that some of the detailed questions are just now popping up, “Why have you been by my side all this time and not left? Why did Father entrust you to accompany me?”
His tall, athletic frame paused, lifting his feet into the room with his hands behind his back, his movements elegant, “I’ve never seen you smile.”
Answering the question, cocking his head to see him lift his robe and sit in the seat furthest from me, “I don’t know your name yet.”
He gazed at me quietly and suddenly said in a low voice, “When you smile, it’s beautiful, dazzlingly beautiful.”
Amusedly, he rolled his eyes, “Listening to the voice, you should be around my father’s age, you should have your own family lineage, why would you spend your time on me, could it be that father wants to marry me off to you?” Ignoring his speechlessness, I smiled mischievously, “You’re the first outsider near my side, I think father is satisfied with you.”
He seemed a little annoyed, his low voice clearly revealing displeasure, “Don’t be ridiculous.”
Laughing on the run, so cheerful.
It was a while before he said softly, “Did you have good dreams?”
Slightly narrowed eyes flowed as I smiled and scrunched my shoulders, “Yeah.” What about the good dreams I’d never had before, making me so happy that I’d just lifted my eyes to see the dawn and was wishing it would get dark soon so I could dream again.
“The dreams …… are false.” He said in a deep voice.
I laugh, lazily angling my chin, “So what, why should I force reality if I can get what I want in my dreams? What’s wrong with staying in a dream like that forever.” A meandering dream, ah, with a father who cherishes me, what more could I ask for?
He was silent.
After that night, I didn’t dream of my father again, and my heart gradually calmed down, but whenever I thought back, I would always smile happily, even if I knew that the reality was far from the dream, I didn’t care.
So find yourself learning to fool yourself yet.
When Xiao Long sent word that Father was going to choose a bride for me, I froze, and it was a long time before I answered and floated back to my nest in the middle of my gazebo.
The heart is a bit sour and stuffy, do not know what for. After thinking for a long time, I do not understand, but I feel that the depression that I have not felt for a long time is overshadowing my heart again, and this time it is the depression that has no reason to be depressed.
As a daughter, she always has to marry, so why do I have the unpleasant and even disgusting emotions over my father’s decision?
Confusion and depression had me frowning and pondering for a few days, until Sparrow and the others came over to invite me to meet those candidates for my future husband, and at the sight of the strange man in the hall, I realized that I hadn’t seen him in many days. Sweeping him lazily, and ignoring why he was sitting in the proper seat, not to mention Father’s expected absence, I took my seat and swept my eyes over the blur of several figures underneath.
The hall was silent and no one spoke.
I’m brooding, contemplating the gloom in my heart, not having tasted such a flavor to know why or to get myself out of the bull’s-eye.
The hall was still quiet until I barely got back to my senses and realized that every single one of them was facing away from me, not saying a word. Narrowing my eyes slightly, what were they looking at me for?
The strange man opened his mouth in a low voice, “They are the candidates for your chosen husband, which one do you prefer?”
Resting my cheeks, I blinked, “I heard that Mother married Father back in the day because she was in love with him, so at least there has to be someone who is also in love with me first before I marry, right?” This should be the basic condition of marriage, I can not love my husband because father does not love mother either.
…… En, if according to the inheritance factor, waiting for the future I have a child, I will also dislike my child? …… A little bit of vicious circle flavor …… Forget it, curved up the arc of the lips, I slowly said: “Just kidding, father for me to choose the person must be all the people in the dragon and phoenix, which is certainly all outstanding, you just look which The one who wants to marry me is him.”
After a few words, there was silence in the hall again, and I threw the question back to them, and went on to think about my own troubles and perplexities, and why on earth I was unhappy.
Soon after, the husband candidate was chosen and it was decided that the wedding would take place at the end of the year.
“Yaoi.” The young man called as he leaned in close to me.
I tilted my head to look at the tall, thin man, unable to see his face’s making me feel nothing.
He looked down at me for a few moments and leaned his head down to kiss me lightly on the lips.
I blinked and pushed him away as I tasted the bitter flavor, “Please wait.” The flavor wasn’t right.
He was stunned when I pushed him a big step away, “Yaoi?”
The overly young voice was also off, not what I wanted to hear, what did I want to hear, and what flavor did I want? Frowning in confusion, I pondered.
He suddenly bent over, mashing his lower back and stomach.
I was surprised to lift my eyes to see his sudden movement, only to realize that I seemed to have added the poison in my hand without realizing it and sent it out …… Does it count as murdering my own husband? Hastily handing him the antidote, I smiled somewhat awkwardly, “Uh, sorry, I forgot.”
He swallowed the medicine and helped himself to a chair off to the side before he smiled weakly, “You don’t like me, do you?”
Breathing suddenly hitched, my whole body froze, what was he talking about?
“You have someone else in your heart right?” His tone was calm, “The Valley Master didn’t want you to marry him, that’s why he picked me to be your husband, right?”
Slowly raised his hand and touched his lips, as if recalling the gentle kiss in that gorgeous dream, and at the end of his nose was again that special light herbal flavor, the powerful warmth, the low, muffled sighs …… Goodness, I actually fell in love with Daddy?
My heart exploded into chaos and then suddenly cleared. I smiled in surprise and bewilderment, shaking my head again and again, how could it be? The loss in the past was because of father’s neglect, then the happiness was because of the illusion of the dream, and now the confusion and unhappiness is because I will belong to someone else, and everything is because of father again.
I can’t seem to ever get away from Daddy in my life.
A mocking smile lifted his eyes, “Nothing, it’s just that I’m not used to it yet.”
He was cool about it, “You know what, you’re beautiful, and when you smile at the memory of what you’re remembering, you’re amazingly beautiful, like a little woman in love.”
“And?” I laughed sarcastically, “I’ll be your wife.”
Some feel tired and ridiculous, father, father, entangled all my life can not be released, willingly bound me, he does not feel tired, I think I am silly, longing for father’s love has turned into a favorite, how can this be?
At what point does the mind take on a subtle change?
A father’s love is absolutely unobtainable, and favoritism is not to be desired any more; I resolved to give it up.
So very much at ease with the company of my future husband, I eventually forced myself to focus my mind on him, despite the fact that my sanity was wandering more and more uncontrollably.
At least my hair was pulled back for him, at least my body stayed by his side.
It’s just almost painful to find the mind imprisoned every time you go off on a tangent.
Love can not like the person, fell in love with the person who can never get, is my bad luck or heaven’s joke? Extraordinarily fond of the only time the absurd dream, father’s kiss, father’s palm, father’s breath, father’s voice, that time I was so happy to be drunk.
Dreams, indeed, are all false.
Vision is getting worse and worse, I know that it is a psychological factor, because of the disgust of the world and subconsciously do not want to use both eyes to see, so I can no longer see anyone’s face, can not see the world’s colorful, can not see the truth of the facts of everything and everything.
I became wooden, I became numb, I couldn’t even drink the temperature of my tea slowly.
Some find it funny that at this rate, I’ll be unable to even notice the change of seasons, and once my senses are completely necrotic, I’ll officially be an invalid.
“Nonsense.” A low chortle came from a cold hand that quickly jerked my fingers out of the steaming teacup.
Lifting my eyelashes, I looked at this father’s best friend, who has not appeared since I chose my husband, and curled my lips into a smile, “I thought at the time that the person I was going to marry was you.” If I could marry my father’s best friend, would I be one point closer to my father? It’s a pity that I don’t have that luck.
He choked and backed away.
Looking at the reddened fingers that were wiped dry and shaken, I laughed wanly, “Strange, why do I still feel cold?” I can’t even test the temperature of the tea anymore, so why would I feel cold when touched by him?
“What do you mean?” He asked in a deep, low voice.
Lift my eyes to look over, only to realize that the tall gazebo only I and he, my future husband son-in-law do not know where to go, probably when I was too bored to leave while I was wandering in the gods, right? If I told him about my situation, would he tell my father? What will my father think when he finds out? Will he ignore it or value it?
I’m getting married, am I being childish or desperate to play this game of tryst? Pursing my lips into a smile, I lowered my eyes, “I don’t feel it.” Flicking the tea that was steaming white smoke, “It should be hot.”
He came right up this time and grabbed my hand to take my pulse.
Wringing his brows for that cold body temperature, “Heart disease, even my father can’t cure it.” I was the one who was too paranoid, and actually unknowingly played the game of incest at my own peril.
The fact that Dad hadn’t been here since he’d left left me indifferent, and it wasn’t a bad blow; I was about to get married, so what was there to look away from?
So the newlyweds arrived and the wedding was a hilarious affair.
Late at night, being sent to the bridal chamber, the wedding handkerchief being lifted, and drinking the cup of wine, I ate and laughed at my husband who had worshipped heaven and earth, knowing that it was all over.
Closing my eyes, I let his kisses spill over my face and let his hands undress me. I lay softly on the bed, feeling the strange burning longing welling up deep inside me, my almost unconscious body surprisingly sensitive, so sensitive that even the cocoon of his palm provoked a light, involuntary shiver as it slid over my skin.
Laughing out loud in surprise… there were winks in the crossover?
My body is invulnerable to all poisons, but winks …… What asshole attributed winks to other than poisons? Mockingly curving my lips, I can’t suppress the aggravated gasp, the unfamiliar desire to make a sound, to do something ……
Slightly lifting my eyes, the blurred figure in the gray misty world, is it the object of my desire to do something?
Of course not.
Then what can I do, have already given up, what else do I want? Laughing softly, I raised my arm and wrapped it around his neck, hearing my already cracked heart slowly breaking even more, “Did you hear something?” I asked with a smile.
The man on top of him paused in his movements, “What?”
Patchy and heartbreaking.