Occasionally I come to this forum, and after a bit of foresight, I’ve resolved to have a bit of my own less-than-exciting privacy, as a cathartic opportunity for myself.
This is not a legendary story, just a passionate collision of my middle age, in fact, belongs to a very mundane experience, but I have a deep and engraved. The night is deep and sleepless, borrowing my two days of vacation, right as an empty mirror to see alone, take out everyone to share –
After graduating from college, I stayed in school as a teaching assistant, and spent three years without any sense of accomplishment, but also do not want to continue to mislead the children, is in deep water and helpless, a chance to change the trajectory of my life.
That year, I met an old alumnus of the school festival, a powerful and respected leaders, the school sent me to accompany the whole reception, two days of contact after he left the school. Soon after the organization to find a conversation to seek my advice, willing to work in the agency? Not long after, I like desertion like stayed seven years of cultivation over my university to the authorities, as the elder secretary, from the section to the chief of the section, section chief to the deputy director, a dry is another seven years. Seven years of secretarial work and life, worn out my feelings, worn out my self, and even forget who I am? Who should be? Until after I served in a poor county when the standing committee, propaganda minister, which only found some of their own feelings. Feelings only to find, have not entered the role, a paper transfer order and let me go back to the secretary’s career.
My old leader, an alumnus, was ordered to transfer to Beijing because of his excellent work and fluency in a foreign language, and before he left, he asked me to continue to work with him. So I left my wife and daughter behind and went to Beijing alone to continue my career as a secretary. A wobble is another three years, of course, the level by the Deputy Department has been helped into the Department, just no longer have the position, not with a long. In this all over the official Beijing, I have to take the first line inverted loop line walk fifteen minutes away from work, and basically no nine to five, a word – tired!
I met her at an informal dinner party. There were two of my hometown – Zhang and Wang, also belongs to the officialdom of the northern drift family, a residence in the Deputy Secretary level, a department. There was also an industrialist rumored to be worth hundreds of millions of dollars, and the townspeople called him Mr. Meng. Said rumor is because I am very strange to it, the wine is not opportune, the words are not opportune, so we can not talk together, the age of at least seven or eight years older than me it, but it is my “big brother”, “brother” called dizziness.
After a round of wine came a very charming young woman, about thirty-three or so years old, or younger, for her skin was so excellent that it was not easy to tell her real age.
Because of the time of three nine, the first entry did not feel special, wearing a thick gray raincoat, coupled with the head is not low, there must be nearly one meter seven it, I guess I stood with her did not see how much higher than her, and then she also wore high-heeled shoes, the first entry seems too “thick”, Meng rushed to take a step forward with me, this is the director of X. Here and on behalf of my heroine surnamed Zhao, and the others they all know. Here and on behalf of my heroine surnamed Zhao it, others they know.
Director Zhao very gently brought up, “It’s the Deputy Director.” Then she took off her clothes and sat down. Dignified, atmospheric, not the slightest hint of boudoir, eye-catching. Maybe because she was wearing a red sweater, colorful, and lined with high full breasts, I was probably a light, a little trance, because I found from her eyes in the eyes of the unintentional drift me no longer have the old days of calm and collected. At that moment, I realized that I don’t have enough of a big leader’s secretary’s quality, I was a little drunk, of course not because of wine.
I no longer dared to gaze at her much, professional habit quickly calming my restlessness.
Wine over three rounds, talkative Meng constantly persuade wine, I do not know that I feel the admonition of alcohol, long developed political awareness played a role, I no longer have too much to say, when Meng “big brother” sound again, I got up to run to the bathroom, or pick up the phone without knowing what to roam around a little bit, at this time, her phone ringing, she took the phone turned toward the window with her back to us, giving me the opportunity to carefully examine her from behind. The phone turned toward the window with her back to us, so that I had the opportunity to scrutinize her from behind, she was wearing a very straight pants, straight legs supporting the rounded buttocks, mature female charms are irresistible, any of my depictions are pale and powerless.
I can see that my two hometown is absolutely overwhelmed, from their toast to her dialogue even the waiter can ambiguously smile. Gradually everyone began to focus on me more and more goals, with the depth of the conversation, I know that tonight’s host is Mr. Meng, Director Zhao is a relative of Mr. Meng, my hometown is Mr. Meng’s group of “senior adviser”, of course, may not be able to take care of it and not ask about it. But tonight’s guest of honor is me, because I am the head of the secretary, near the water tower ah! I also with the topic and the depth of alcohol in the vigilance, often Gu left to say right, people cloud, do not know what, the conversation during the absolute ha ha ha ha, only to Meng was depressed, a hard to my hometown squeeze eyes, said to Zhao Director I can drink ah! Did not drink well ah! In the blink of an eye a bottle of 1 catty 4 my usual favorite Blue Ribbon bottomed out, I owed, said: “Today the total amount of control, I have to go home, late wife have to check in, and tomorrow there will be a meeting, goodbye.” Also ignored the old Meng’s attentiveness, and the old folks shook hands and said goodbye, we see me resolute, but also no longer insist, and dispersed. After going out of the old Meng buy single a little behind, we all want to send me, Director Zhao asked me where I live and said: “I’m on my way, I live in Dazhong Temple, I’ll send you.” I did not refuse, and so old Meng out, we said goodbye, I got on her Junwei, over the car on the passenger side, the night light found her license plate is the Navy license plate, wonder, but did not ask.
We didn’t say much on the way, I didn’t dare to open my mouth, I’ve been a secretary for many years, I’ve developed a quiet personality, the car went all the way to my apartment in Xizhimen. We shook hands to say goodbye, she suddenly said: It was nice to meet you, I hope to have the opportunity to see you again. I did not answer, because I do not know how to answer?
This was the first time I came into contact with a beautiful female director, but I knew nothing about her. This time I faced the temptation of women outside the marriage for the first time there is confusion, this time I have not been confused.
(ii)
The second meeting at the Zhaolong Hotel, and Meng’s luxury meal, it was a tired weekend afternoon, a week of continuous meetings, busy things, the weekend the whole morning of overtime, finally had a beautiful nap, has been sleeping until four o’clock in the afternoon, the phone rang, Lao Zhang, I complained, people in middle age tired, a good night’s sleep is not peaceful ah.
About it, dinner, but a mention of Zhaolong, eating baby fish? I’m a bit puzzled, nothing to find that slaughter why ah, that a catty of more than 2000 ah, a fish three to eat, the small also have to be seven or eight pounds, who poses ah? Mr. Meng? Do not go, did not mean, but he added a sentence I immediately responded, she set the place, Zhao director, and point you, said you do not if she will remove the seat. Good face, plus Zhao Long’s platoon, and this time in front of my eyes constantly shaking the appearance of that colorful figure, I did not refuse. I am mortal, I understand myself, I have no ability to resist this temptation.
Since it was a Saturday, the drinks were no longer proposed to control the total amount, and the wine was still my favorite Blue Ribbon. There were two more strange females in the crowd and one male.
Lao Zhang, Mr. Meng, Mr. Meng’s vice president, as well as Mr. Meng’s assistant, a 25-year-old girl, surnamed Liu, slim, youthful, good-looking since nothing to say, but not the type I appreciate. From her attentiveness to see, she is Mr. Meng tonight’s attack on the main force, but obviously lack of official socializing way, put the shopping mall is to a good material. One is the director of Zhao’s hair small, called himself small week, age also in the early 30s, but is heavily made up, and I shook hands with the obvious force than I am thick, the eyes have frivolous teasing, this is one of the best instant sex partners, but the lack of attraction to me, not that I do not have a sexual desire for her, but I’m afraid of inadvertently being sold by her my career. I was shaking hands with Director Zhao, Xiao Zhou with her big buttocks intentionally or unintentionally rubbed my buttocks, causing her to glare at me very strangely, which made me in the first drink with her, I choked a mouthful, she immediately took a face towel to me, said: “Look at you, slow down, ah, you’re a cadre of the alcohol test, heh.” I was feeling a little drunk again, and of course wanted to find cover more than anything else, but didn’t think straight.
Today she wore a light blue sweater, dark brown suit pants, her breasts are still very lonely and high. That night drank 5 bottles of 1 catty four it, in short, I have been drunk, the words are also some gradually more up, when I picked up the phone to go out, she followed out, asked me all right? Today you drank a lot ah, can carry? If you can’t, don’t drink. She touched my forehead and shook my hand: “Who are you calling? Is it your sister-in-law?” I didn’t answer and hung up the phone, “No, nothing.” At this time a wine up, I unconsciously, naturally put my arm around her waist: “Let’s go, let’s go in.” She did not refuse, whispered: “businessman and our distance you mastered a very measured, I am very assured of you, just do not want you to drink high!” I didn’t answer, a rush of heat washed over me, my hand squeezed her waist hard and said, “It’s okay, let’s go.” She rubbed her hand gently around my arm around my waist, then pulled my hand away and said, “It’s not good to be seen in a crowd.” Back to the room, the wine did not continue, Xiao Liu girl has been drunk, I entered the door she came up to pocket my neck and shouted: “Uncle, where did you run, I toast you again.” She quickly pulled Xiao Liu and handed it over to the vice president. Lao Zhang, on the other hand, and Xiao Zhou on the sofa almost sat on the legs.
When Mr. Meng saw me come in, he immediately got up and called out, “Big brother, let’s have another drink?” At this time she suddenly proposed: “Let’s go sing, we’ve had enough to drink.” Of course, no one objected to this proposal. Then we went to the money changer outside the Chaoyang Gate, which was joined by Lao Wang and two girls who were studying vocal music, and the time was about ten o’clock.
The girl who learns vocal music a few rounds of the song over, we quietly listen, she quietly put her arm around me from behind, gently stroking my back, and occasionally wrapped her arm around my somewhat blossoming waist, all without singing, push and push. Everyone was also a little tired of performing, especially Meng’s singing voice, not once was he able to find a tune. “Shall we sing a chorus?” She looked at me. Singing is a very long time I remember, but my singing voice is very amateur in the professional level, tonight in the wine I ordered a “beautiful myth”, I did not expect that she is not inferior to me, over and over, our cooperation to the people in the room dumbfounded.
After a long applause, she also looked at me with her eyes and said, “You have a great sense of sound.” That look, made me want to kiss her, but my eyes were just as expressionless!
The time proceeded to a little after midnight, Lao Zhang left, I also got up, looked at her, she told everyone that I also left, it was late, she dropped me off on the way. We then went out of the Chambers, and Mr. Meng, still as enthusiastic as ever, sent us down. When we got in the car, we sat in the car, and when I disagreed with her drinking and driving, she said, “Well, let’s sit for a while before we drive, okay?” I said okay, just sit there, surprisingly quiet, the car only the sound of the heater, for twenty minutes, we did not say anything.
Then she said, “Let’s go.” We crossed Ping’an Avenue, and when we got to Shichahai she stopped the car, leaned over to the side of the road, and said, “I’ve had a little too much to drink, so let’s take a break, and we’ll come down and walk for a while, okay?” That night there must be ten degrees below zero it, the feeling of alcohol does not win the cold, I lightly embraced her waist, she leaned against my shoulder so down the beach walk, she wore high heels with my height of the height of the Qiqi high.
Walking, suddenly she turned around and hugged me, tightly, eyes dead on me, making me crazy, I can not help, holding her face kissed her lips, deeply …… suffocated for ten minutes, we returned to the car, and again a sentence is not issued, to my home downstairs, I looked at the windshield and said:” Go up and have a seat? I have great tea, have a cup before you go.”
She didn’t say anything, parked, got out of the car, and we went upstairs.
Once inside, my house was exceptionally well heated, and the temperature inside allowed us to remove the restraints that had wrapped around us. She was in lingerie and her mature figure became more and more intoxicating. After tea, on the couch, I took her in my arms and kissed her, and she held me tighter, the faint scent of her panting mesmerizing me. I hand into her back, into the rounded buttocks, panting more and more sharply, as if to encourage my actions further, I unclasped her bra, remove the top, a pair of full breasts jumped out, I can not help but cupped, sucking the tiny nipples, no longer can not resist the impulse to pick up a pick her up, headed for the bedroom, and soon removed all the constraints, to see her voluptuous body sprawled out on my bed, I did not have Any other stay, on the body, (these details of the description, I would not have written, but still wrote), because of the lust of the way, began to passionate …… I was afraid of the impact of the late night, immediately kissed her mouth, she was under me a violent convulsion, tears flowed out, murmured: “Don’t fail me, okay? I love you so much! Know what?” …… I was in a giddy state, drifting off to sleep, sleep, heavy!
The sound of the early morning car clamor woke me up, she fell asleep with her back to me, her round ass to me. This is the winter of 06, everything hibernates in Beijing, an ordinary day, happened to my extraordinary story, I do not even know her unit, her specific age, her family, her phone, her everything, only know that she is a deputy director of the organization, a beautiful and mature woman.
(iii)
After ten days or so we had no contact, it was I who couldn’t contact her and she had no contact of any kind, I thought the story was over and I stopped thinking about it, after all, I worked in a position of power in the state, not a high position but not a small responsibility.
This love is a fatal temptation for me, and I need to refrain, even if I can’t do it to forget such a woman, but I must, I have other responsibilities!
By the way my wife, who is a woman who treats me and my daughter as if they were all she has in her life and her life, never suspected that I would cheat on her, but I did, so to this day I still feel guilty about it!
But the affair continued because of my inability to resist temptation.
Until another weekend morning, my friend and I had arranged to go to XX, to see a coworker’s big sister, and let’s call her Z. She was transferred to the head of the department in X and said she wanted to invite us to have a good time. On the way, I answered the phone, because I was driving, so I didn’t hear her, she said: “Going to see an old lover? Forgot about me so soon?” I was taken aback, but since I had friends there, I didn’t dare say anything more, so I said, “Yes, I know, put it on my desk, I’ll read it and call you back.” How smart she was, and without saying much, she said, “Well, don’t forget I miss you.”
During lunch, Z asked, “Are you familiar with Mr. Zhao?” I was dumbfounded, but I didn’t show my face and asked, “Generally, I’ve met her twice, are you familiar with her?” Z said, “Yes, I’ve worked with her before. She asked about you the day before yesterday, and I thought you two were very close, but she’s the star of the political world in our group of sisters! I can not compare with her, young, background and deep! Ahem, her husband’s no good, he’s always messing with women, he’s applying to be expatriated, and she doesn’t have any kids! Her father’s going crazy waiting for his grandchildren!” I asked, “What’s her background? She doesn’t look so young, and she’s a political star!” Z said, “She has a master’s degree from XX University, and her father is XXX. She is only 32 this year, how old do you think she is? At my age, she might be at the ministerial level! She has a body, a face, and everything! Ahem, look at me, I’m hopeless!”
I heard this, no longer ask, sweating a little, her parents are not a light, for me this official northern drift hate themselves to cast the wrong birth! No other meaning, I equally respect my parents, I come from the countryside, very poor place, I love every inch of the land there, love my parents who are still working in the land. It’s just a fashionable language! Sweat didn’t stop that day! All the time!
On Sunday, she called again and asked me why I came back and didn’t return her call, I said I forgot and came back tired. My heart began to weak, regret having this sudden affair, although extremely exciting, but reason still tells me that it must end. Now continue to be playing with fire, because we are both the true meaning of dry wood, burn up not burn us two, but a large area! Danger, is the most sensitive perception of people in middle age, walking in the official world is even more difficult.
Several consecutive days she came to the phone several times, I pushed that busy no time, gradually she did not call, counting the days past half a month, one night I just finished attending a meeting back home, is already more than nine o’clock in the evening, with a body of fatigue would like to go home to take a hot bath and go to bed.
Elevator out, I suddenly saw a familiar figure standing in the safe passageway, cold shock, fixed eyes, it was her, because the quiet of the building let her have a trace of panic look, see me, she defiantly pounced on me, tightly embraced me, tears suddenly flowed in my face, my heart was confused for a moment, rushed to wrap her arms around her, busy with the opening of the door to take some time and trouble.
When we entered the house, they said nothing, kissed for a long time, and just stood there, me undressing her, her tugging at my coat, and in a moment, they were naked, and she said tearfully, “I want to face you, I want to look at you, I want to kiss you, I want you, I want you, I just want you! I don’t want anything!” At this moment, I had no thought, no restraint, no awareness, as blank as in a vacuum! She couldn’t hold herself up any longer, snapped, sat on the floor, cried and laughed, sobbed uncontrollably: “I came here at night, want to tell you, I really love you, I want to give you everything I have, do you dare to want it? Do you want it?” I didn’t say anything, hugged her and walked towards the bathroom, stepping over a floor of fancy clothes, (her underwear set some of which could top one of my suits) as if we were not in this city, but in a new utopia. Time is almost frozen, without the noise of the city, only the two of us after the passion of gasping, intoxicating! The night in Beijing is full of passion.
After the shower, she looked even more beautiful, the beauty of a young woman was all on display, I examined her, she gazed at me, we didn’t speak again, for a long time, she said, “Shall we go up to the bar? I’ll take you somewhere!” To be honest, many years in Beijing, I have not once stopped at any bar, I am always very chilly to the place of red lights, always afraid to meet a familiar person.
Tonight, however, I didn’t hesitate. Let’s go!
She didn’t drive herself, we took a taxi to Sanlitun, on the way I asked her about her license plate, she didn’t answer me positively, so I didn’t ask again. I sat in the famous XXJ bar until three o’clock in the middle of the night, which was an experience I had never had before. That night she made all the bar night people fell, I believe that the bar to appear again such a beautiful young woman is there, but to appear in such a temperament of the head of the female, it is really not easy, even in Beijing. This night I was probably the object of the people want to smoke, like a toad ate the swan meat, depressing!
She didn’t come home that night, the next day, she got up and made breakfast, I went to work, she continued to sleep, I didn’t persuade her to get up, on the way in the subway, I received a text message from her: I’m crazy, I just want to lie in your bed, never get up for the rest of my life! Waiting for you to come home! I did not return. Heart and inexplicably melancholy up, out of the subway station, the sky drifted up fine snowflakes, I feel the snow read my mind, but I can not read myself!
Such crazy days lasted half a year, she specially for both of us to buy two of the same type of cell phone, the same number of two cards, which only store each other’s number, and downloaded the “beautiful myth” ringtone, everything looks so beautiful. Of course, we couldn’t have sex very often, both of us were on official business, and she was in a very important position, but we exhausted ourselves every time we did it.
Until one day, she told me the organization was going to talk to her in the afternoon, and our hearts hung in the air.
In the evening I asked her to have dinner at Xizhimen Chengming Mansion Boiling Fish Country, she didn’t arrive until 8:30, with a haggard face, and my heart hung more on my throat. After taking her seat, she took out a bottle of Little Cordon Bleu from her bag, and whispered to me without expression, “I really want to kiss you, I really want to lie in your arms.” Suddenly she smiled, brilliantly like an innocent young girl! Told me that the above is ready to give her another burden, ready to go to the party school next week for three months of short training, said red eyes up: “I can not see you for three months I will die! I really do not want to be an official, really want to lie in your bed every day, with you I do not want anything!” I experienced a shock, no appetite, poured a large cup for himself, a mouthful of drink, got up and made a phone call to my head, requesting him to grant me a leave, so that I can go back to my hometown, there is no hesitation, I have to go home to see, go home to see my parents, my wife and children. I was depressed! But didn’t understand what exactly I was depressed about?
A trip home came back and the rest of the day was much more uneventful, we didn’t see each other for over three months, we just texted, and of course the texts filled up with all that, and she went back to her own track, and I went back to my own track.
Another weekend, it is already a hot summer, Beijing night in the summer is always everywhere color, I and two old folks and sit together again for dinner, the host is still Meng, and the chief assistant girl Liu, summer she looks much thinner, lack of female charm.
There is a young girl with a dream of drifting north, and called C it, although young but the body is as voluptuous as her general frivolous, according to the principle of commonality of aesthetics, definitely enough to beauty standards, and a pair of breasts to make people even more dizzy, at least C cups, or D, the body is almost no cloth, half of the globes exposed, even the ultra-short pants can not wrap the whole ass. Coupled with the absence of her, the topic seems much lighter, the old Zhang, we renamed him “Xu total”, a strong yellow paragraph constantly, full of laughter, the old Meng as usual, I was attentive, the two girls in the constant toast to the old Zhang Lao Wang, always did not forget to pull me into the fray, I was also in a bad mood because of the sake of the more drink! I also because of the bad mood sake, more drink a lot, a little high.
Wine and food, the old Meng did not forget to continue to sing to go, this time I did not sing, still from time to time to take the phone roaming to go, the old Meng a little bit anxious, shouted at the C, you are so unintelligent ah, accompanied by the X drink a few cups of ah, a dance ah, how do you know nothing about it ah, the C to the aggravation of the hand, pulling my hand, and straight to me dragged to the small dance floor dancing, dancing with her pair of bunnies tightly against my chest, jumping and suddenly came to a “big brother, you do not like me”. I’m not sure if you’re going to be able to get a good deal on this, but I’m sure you’re going to be able to get a good deal on this. The old Zhang happened to go to the restroom by my side, came to say, he does not like, I like, haha.
A bad joke all the way to go. C’s breasts in the middle of the dance did shake me, she was wearing a very low bra, and occasionally rubbed my chest softly, and I was more than a little tipsy under the beauty, though still calm.
After sitting down, when C next to me, and then quietly said to me: “I like you, you can hold me?” I did not refuse, because of the low-waisted pants, hand around the waist when direct skin contact, a moment can not hold, hand race to slide into the groin between, this girl actually did not wear panties, just wrapped around the outside of a smaller than the panties of the short jeans only, contact than her ass, but obviously not as round as her. Thinking of her, I pulled my hand out like an electric shock.
Old Zhang continued to smile at me. Then I have to go first, and everyone said goodbye, suddenly C did an amazing action, walk in front of me, in front of everyone, violently hold me, mouth to me kissed over, caught off guard action so that I didn’t do any reaction, her tongue has entered my mouth, in my almost suffocated when she let go of me, I looked at her with a face of puzzlement, to be honest, I’m not no desire to do to her, just to find the feeling of love. I can’t find the feeling of love, since it’s lovemaking, it’s a bad name to do it without love. So only shook his head, did not put it in mind, but the following days because of this deep kiss but led to a storm.
(iv)
The next day, C sent me a text message, actually sent in my contact with her on that special cell phone: X big brother, I am C, I took the liberty of so note your phone number, today free? Can we have dinner together? I suddenly understood that she was using my cell phone to call their own cell phone, note down the number, then sent another: you do not know my good, a little do not want to know? Don’t think I’m a frivolous girl, I like you very much, just to send you a text message. At that time, I was hurrying to use a material in a hurry, so I did not pay attention to it, and did not delete it, after work, I forgot about it. Work and gradually busy, C simply did not store in my memory.
I picked her up the day her short training ended, and then we spent a crazy night at the five-star XX Hotel in Chaowai. I won’t describe the details, it was roughly the same as before.
Subsequently not long, she was promoted, served as another division of a hand, level with me, the real sense of the director, and the position is very important, and I am still set in stone. Because she just took over the new position, especially busy, this period of time we in addition to text messages, there should be two or three months did not have sex together, only a few times, she said too much to think of me, together with the outside dinner, and then broke up, life seems to return to its original trajectory.
During this time in the office building, I met the old colleague Z, who was working at the grass-roots level, and she mysteriously pulled me to no one’s side and said, “I heard that you have a lover?” I was surprised: “Why do you ask?” Sister Z said: “It is said to be very beautiful ah! Haha, you have a lover, it seems that there are no good people in Hongdong County.” I looked at her with an innocent face.
She laughed: “The other day and Zhang XX dinner chatting to, joking that there is a very beautiful girl like you. Look at you nervous, we have a day and Zhao director of a few people in a small gathering together also talked about you, she also defended you, it seems that you have a woman’s fate ah!” My heart thumped, thinking things are not good, something is going to happen!
Suddenly one day, during work hours, I got a call from her, “I’ll be waiting for you in the evening at the usual place, Cafe XX in Westwestern. I have something to ask you, you must come!” We rarely talked on the phone during working hours, and the tone of voice was not at all negotiable; it was exactly like her at work, and I was like her subordinate.
I felt a sense of loss since she was promoted to full rank. She understood best, during this time she began to organize the use of her resources for my future began to work, but she never said to me positively, I heard from several times when we were together, she talked to other people in the content of her paving the way for me, including she also alone to visit his parents’ friends, I don’t know how she was busy, but I believe in her ability, but also don’t need me to participate in it, so I didn’t ask, the heart is very hot and very cold! I did not ask, but my heart was hot and cold! A faint melancholy often bubbled up in me!
We have long developed the habit of being late, I just took my seat to see her push the door in the direction of me to come in, she wore a professional dress, very spiritual, underneath a short skirt, but also too show charming. I like to see her wearing short skirts in the summer, long legs, very round buttocks, very warped. This is the most beautiful woman I have seen in Beijing!
I watched her come over and my heart fluttered. She sat down with a serious look on her face and asked me straight out about C and me. I kept explaining that night and finally got over it. We sat opposite each other in the café that night for a long time, and I could feel the suspicion lurking underneath her calm demeanor.
Then when we get to my house, she goes in the shower and when she’s done, she sits on the couch in just her pink lace panties and my t-shirt and hugs me tightly. She loves to hug and kiss me like that whenever the two of us are together, and there’s never a calm moment. Seeing that I was getting the urge to do it before she told me to go wash too, I smiled badly and said, “No, I have to have you first!” She smiled back, “I’ll let you have it after I wash it!” Ahem, this particular woman who loves cleanliness! I drifted a glance at her as I went to wash, and noticed that she was playing with my couple’s cell phone that had a single line of contact, usually she liked to download erotic stuff to our phones, like some ringtones and funny pictures.
I didn’t care at all. When I came out, I noticed that her face was extremely off, and when I was wondering, she started to get angry: “Explain yourself, why do we have her text messages in our cell phones? You slept with her, didn’t you? You disgust me!” After saying that, she took off the t-shirt she was wearing and threw it at me, “Give it back! How could you let me down so much?” Then he dressed, carried his bag, and left my house in tears and anger.
I was dumbfounded where I was, I didn’t move, I looked at my phone and the text C had left was truly unexplainable and I thought, it’s over, we might be over!
She is a woman who loves to hate and is extremely careful in this regard, and she once said to me: if you touch a woman other than your wife and me, we’re done for, and I’ll hate you for it!
I joked at the time, “I’ve touched several women in the past, what should I do?” She said, “I only care about your future, not your past! You belong to two women, no one else! This is the bottom line of my principle! You go and kill someone, I harbor you and go to jail with you, but you sleep with a third woman, I kill you!” That’s her, the woman I love.
It was such a coincidence that a long time no contact with a business buddy called: “Can you come out and sit down? Some of our buddies are singing at ‘Candy’! Are you coming?” I looked at the time, it was almost 11 o’clock.
Normally these calls are basically impossible to invite out, they’re just an excuse to bond, and I’ve only ever gone out with them occasionally for a sing-along, but that night was just so stuffy that I couldn’t stop thinking about her! I went!
“Candy” is very close, I entered the room, I saw the old Meng is present, more than ten people, actually there is C, there are three girls, all beautiful, I know all the men, all businessmen. The table was full of empty cans of wine, it seems to drink a lot.
As soon as I entered the door, almost all the men got up to show respect, to give up their seats, enthusiastic, as if they had come to the “boss”! But I am also accustomed to, nonchalant on the seat, just seated, C on the “run” over a butt sitting next to me, with “run” because I really can not find words to describe her running over, like a cat to see a mouse like excitement! With the last experience of being forced to kiss, know these girls, I a hand to block the distance, face take up the usual cold, refusing people outside the expression, so that C’s enthusiasm was cooled down a lot!
A chill went down my spine at the thought that someone I love must be tearfully staring out the window at the night sky at this point! Flat plus a few moments of revulsion for C! While she was certainly beautiful and sexy, I couldn’t get over it! Soon I felt tired, I went first again, or did not let them send, they had to send me to the corridor, the old Meng let C sent on behalf of the C, C do not know why I was angry, aggrieved with me down, walked to the front door when the ghost said to me: “You hate me so much?” I thought for a long time and said, “I’ll call you tomorrow, can you do something for me?” C said, “Ten, a hundred things will do, as long as you let me!” I was a little embarrassed and said, “Okay, I’ll make an appointment for you tomorrow! I’ll be in touch tomorrow!” C said, “Can I give you a kiss?” Me: “Don’t! Besides, it’s the street! It’s not proper!” After saying that, I got into the cab like a deserter.
I don’t know if it’s the peach blossoms from the previous year for me? Or was I destined for peach blossoms in a previous life? I don’t get it. Beijing, for whom do the peach blossoms dance on summer nights? For me? Is it worth it? I’m in a state of mind where it’s not clouds!
The next day I was very busy but sent my her a text, “With you I put my heart into it and I will give you a piece of my mind.” She replied back, “You had your heart in the right place, but you had a cold heart! Now my heart is cold too!”
(v)
In the evening, I asked about C in the cafe, this fashionable girl will always be the streets of Beijing to wear the least sis, sitting in the cafe almost attracted all the men’s eyes, making me uncomfortable, if not with the purpose of coming, really can not sit down! I told her I was in love with a woman, but her text messages ruined her trust in me, need her to do an explanation of the work, asked her willing to not original?
C looked at me sourly and said, “Who is she? What’s it got to do with me? I don’t want to, I’m happy! I’ll follow you if she goes! I’m not as good as her? Ask around, there’s a long line of people chasing me! I’m chasing you and you don’t even want me! You’re a cheap bastard!” The way the Post-80s speak almost choked me to death! I said, “Why do you want to be with me? I’m not rich, I’m not handsome, I’m not good looking, you’re not worth it, and we don’t have a generation gap, so we don’t get along. What’s the point?” She laughed: “Yes! It’s so cool! Aren’t you handsome? Whoever says you’re not handsome, I’ll be in a hurry with her! I know you don’t have money, but you’re cool! I like your cool look! I’ll support you after I’m broke! I just like you, you’ll like me too, it’s okay, you can find me whenever you understand, but don’t wait for me to fall in love with someone else, it’ll be too late then!”
I had no choice: “Didn’t you promise to help me?” She didn’t have any room for maneuver: “I can help you with anything else, but helping someone else steal my man is out of the question!” I looked at her like she was a monster, “What’s wrong with you? Have you burned your brain? You’re such a beautiful woman, where can you find a better man than me?” She stared at me, “You can help me with anything else, but you can help me steal my man!” She stared at me, “Do you recognize me as a beauty? I thought you had a problem with your eyes! There’s nothing wrong with me! I’m happy! It’s you who have a problem! Either you call your woman and let me take a look, if she’s prettier than me, I’ll help you, if she’s uglier than me, you’d better stop!” I don’t want to talk to her any more: “Tell me, if you don’t want to, then forget it! Without you, I will be flat!” Said got up and called the bill, go away, leaving her alone staring at me to leave.
In fact, I did not understand, she really like me? Until I ran into her a while back on a small street in Chaonai and flirted with the question, which was an afterthought. Cool? Bullshit. I realize I’m just a timid guy! These days, timid men are cool, and timid and penniless men are cool!
Before I got home, C called and said, “I’ll help you! Where are you? I’ll find you.” I didn’t want her to recognize the door, so I said, “I’ll find you, where are you?” She was still at the cafe, so I turned around and went back.
Sitting down to see her looking at me slyly, like she had just cried, some of her heart could not bear it, and said, “You barely even, I will have other ways.” She did not look at me, took a sip of coffee, “Don’t say you know me in the future! Help others steal their boyfriends, say it out I dare not go out!” I laughed so hard that I almost didn’t choke, “I’ve become your boyfriend? Did you announce it? No wonder someone asked me if I have a beautiful mistress! I was wondering!” She looked up at me with a hook, “You’re so cunning, don’t you have a lover? I don’t know how many you have, just pretend! Do you really think I’m stupid? This is also considered a dedication! Understand? Selling yourself isn’t called dedication these days, it’s what I do that’s called dedication! Do you understand? I’m a hero. It’s called a heroine rescuing her lover! I’m going out on a limb!” I’m a little silent, because of the feeling to the heart, perhaps if not that beautiful female director, this moment, I will like the rate of this beautiful girl in front of me, sometimes people really can not look like!
Really, I’m not a saint, and even saints have colored minds. Don’t look at me? That’s often the case when he’s telling you not to look because he’s looking, so he’s a saint and you’re not! I’ve seen a lot of “saints” in the news! Like many of the replies I’ve read today, they come, they read, and then they emphasize how I should be a saint! I just want to use the Beijing dialect to say: whoever you like, don’t pretend to be a grandson! All professions are made by human beings! Don’t treat any official like a human being! And don’t be so self-righteous! We’re just a rubbing shoulders! This is just a forum!
The next day C texted my female director, I asked her not to call, naturally to the cell phone number we have a single line of communication with, I don’t know what was sent, but my female director texted me to invite me to dinner and said she wanted to tonight.
I had an assignment in the evening and couldn’t have dinner with her, and I was busy until nine o’clock. When I called her, she said she was waiting for me at the XX Hotel.
In front of me, she likes to be naked and won’t wear clothes until we break up. Because I said I liked to see her ass, she wouldn’t wear, even the sexiest lingerie, because she was also confident that the sexiest lingerie wasn’t as good as her God’s work that encased it!
I almost wiped out that night!
To this day I haven’t asked her what the text message was about and she hasn’t mentioned it. It seems like things never happened.
By the end of the week, C sent me a text message, want me to invite her to dinner, said to ruthlessly slaughter me, as compensation for her. This does not want to have continued contact with her to meet, but owe the love always have to pay, afraid she said I was petty, pride can not put, then agreed. This promise, so that I have a feeling of exhaustion between the three women. If it is not because of the occupation tired, maybe life will be a little romantic color.
Officialdom mix long time heart tired, heart tired make the body premature aging. Sometimes the desire for power and lust from time to time to devour your passion and ambition. I almost do not know what to resist the temptation to appear everywhere! In my prime, I have a wife and a lover in my life, both of whom are at the height of their sexual appetites. There is also a young girl who can stare at you with both eyes, look at your heart, and occasionally use words to stalk you beautifully. These two years, ah, would be the widest period of width in my life? I thought. But it is very weary indeed! Almost like tearing down the east wall to patch up the west wall, mainly because of the career is not good, right, too much pent-up frustration, lost too much of the self.
That weekend and a few friends went swimming, the weather is particularly hot, Beijing is hot enough to suffer in the summer, swim after feeling particularly refreshing, the appetite.
In the evening C booked a western restaurant, not big, but very cozy place, because it is far away from where I live, not particularly convenient, so I borrowed a buddy’s Audi A6, it took more than an hour to get to the place, it was late, really made me hungry.
Met without bothering to talk carefully to order food and wait to eat, and only after eating and drinking enough to look up carefully at C. She quietly watched me eat and laughed, “You eat like miserable enough, like my family’s ball.”
Asked and realized that Ball was her dog! I was furious! What do you mean? Do I look like a dog? She saw that I was a bit upset and explained.
I’m not mad, to be honest, sometimes secretarial life is like a dog’s life, and it’s not easy to play grandchild for a long time! That’s one of the reasons I post on this forum! But it’s true that I’ve started a lot of wars over my crappy posts that I didn’t expect, and I don’t know if I should be happy or sad!
That day, I remember that C wore a very well-fitting T-shirt, well-fitting because I didn’t think it belonged to the tank top halter type of attire that I don’t like, and it looked very appropriate in a western restaurant. Underneath was a pair of jeans, a huge difference from her previous attire, but I looked extremely smooth, so the impression was much better, coupled with her efforts to make us icy, I was still more cordial to her, chatting without caution and constraints, coupled with the satisfaction of the appetite after exercise, the atmosphere was very comfortable. Gradually chatting happily, she was also very happy, perhaps my relaxed mood infected her.
After dinner she said to continue to bar, I did not refuse, one is the weekend, the second is to return the favor to come, especially in front of the woman can not be too stingy, so I said first to return the car, and then go. To clarify, when I met the drinking I absolutely do not touch the steering wheel.
Before returning the car, I drove her to a small bar in Houhai. When my friend picked up the car, she said, “This is the scent of Blue Coach in my car, what are you singing about? What’s the story?” Another one with a dog’s nose, ahem, I can’t pretend, that’s a human spirit, I flirted with: “Borrowed a car you have to listen to a story? Some other day to borrow a car and then tell you!” Buddy happy: “Don’t ah, you have to let me go home to have an account ah, with this perfume of the woman will not be your relatives from your hometown or something, right? I’ll give you a ride! You’re not going home, are you? Haha.” I got out of the car and sweated a little, maybe because of the heat from time to time, probably a false sweat! Without further pestering, I got to the bar and saw her sitting alone in the corner looking bored, and smiled brightly when she saw me come in.
(vi)
We drank a lot that night, just the two of us, and two male singers sang one of my favorite songs: John Denver’s “Hometown Road, Take Me Home”, and I got a little sad, thinking about my wanderings, thinking about my hometown, and suddenly my eyes watered up! I was mesmerized! She is also so in the noisy bar quietly look at me, we are like two lovers in love, only the age gap is with the lovers have differences. Unconsciously she rested her head on my shoulder, not moving.
I seemed to have a heartbeat, but it seemed calm, teasing summer nights and intoxicating wine, leaning into my her body odor, we had a bit of a heart touch!
To her home downstairs, she immediately paid the fare to pull me off, I was wondering. She said: “send me upstairs, I have no lights in the hallway, I’m afraid!” I know what she was thinking, told her, “We have no chance, really, don’t try, really, I have someone in my heart, and my wife and child, I’m already heavy, almost collapsed! Much less can I afford to have you join me!” She laughed, “What did you expect! I just want you to give me a gentlemanly ride!” I hesitated for a while, the night is too late, it is not convenient to talk on the side of the road, so I reluctantly followed her up the stairs, the hallway is indeed no light, see her open the door, I was about to turn back, she pulled me: “Sit down for ten minutes, I will make a cup of coffee for you to drink before you go.”
Sitting on the couch, I could feel the pressure on her! The boudoir was filled with the scent of a woman, and the strength of the wine made me a little dizzy. She was also a little high from the drink, and looked out of her depth when she made the coffee, so I hastily stood up to help her, touching her hip when I made the mistake of handing it to her, and she took advantage of the situation to lean into my arms, and then turned around and hugged me again, tightly: “I love you! Really! I can’t help thinking about you! I love you! Don’t go away, okay? Just for one night! Stay with me!” Squeezed by her ample breasts, I was nearly dizzy, manic, aroused! I hugged her tightly too, and she kissed me, deeply! I was no longer dizzy, nearly in shock, as she removed her own blouse and bra! I gritted my teeth and pushed her away, “I really can’t, I’m sorry! It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I can’t! Not with you like this!!!” I couldn’t face the temptation, I had no choice but to run!
Many turning points in life I chose to escape, facing the battlefield sometimes I can be a brave warrior, strong when strong! I don’t dare to be strong in my middle-aged love life, not to mention that I know the cost!
The night was dry, so dry it was suffocating! I couldn’t jump into the moat to cool myself! The night lights flared ambiguously in the night sky of the capital, obscure and extravagant, making people even more dizzy. The night is very deep, can not measure the distance, the distance between people, heart to heart distance, in Beijing also let a person can not find north! But tonight I find my way home. Drunk with wine, I awoke with a start!
On the way home, I sent her a text, “Sorry!” And then I forwarded one to my female director, “I’m sorry!” Then I sent one to myself: “I’m sorry!” And then I said to the Beijing night sky, “I’m sorry!” Because I’ve lost so much, I’m incapable of resisting temptation when I’m faced with it everywhere! What can I resist? I can’t defeat myself! I’m mortal, I know!
The story didn’t stop because I ran away! Every day the sunrise I still see it rise from where it should come, because life goes on too, and the story won’t stay! But every day the sun always sets, so the story will end one day.
The city filters always the hurried passers-by, watching you perish in its arms! I am just one of those individuals! What doesn’t change is that it looks at your smiling face, it doesn’t leave your footprints. Because you are too small.
Days often slip through my fingers without notice, and I often find myself pursuing this goal without realizing that I have lost another possession. When I wake up I realize that my life is so full of shortcomings! Lack seems so helpless when one reaches middle age! Lack makes life exciting and memorable!
People are approaching the end of their lives, and I can’t always get rid of temptation! The temptation of power, the temptation of color, everything goes on! Sinking is also sinking, and even struggling is futile!
The headmistress continued to run my errands, like a clockwork machine, tireless, no matter how much I refused! We still maintain a familiar and unfamiliar sex and love, with my days she still spring, and I am almost tired! Though also still working energetically, it already feels like the sun is setting!
Beijing is most charming in the summer and fall. My best friend from college, T, came to Beijing for a meeting during this season. He was assigned to a southern county and was a technician in a business organization. Of course he came to see me. In his eyes, I was the most accomplished person in his class! I received him with great hospitality. The hospitality was our affection, unadulterated, unlike the Beijing sky, which has never been clearer. But I didn’t want to invite him to a luxury dinner, not a question of pettiness, because our classmates feelings do not need to be rehearsed, so I set up a small tavern such as the student era spread the battlefield.
But he brought his top man and his top man’s boss that day, saying he wanted to get to know me, a Beijing official, someone he had blown out of the water.
I was so embarrassed when they arrived that I didn’t give my classmate a show to satisfy his vanity. Instead, he and his leaders were thrilled to see me as if I were a great leader! I was so attentive that I couldn’t make up for my pettiness! The whole dinner was eaten with passion like fire, T from time to time chatting about my poor jokes when I was studying, he comes from a merchant family, in that period, he is like our god of wealth. I am not embarrassed, doubly cordial, cordial to make up for the lack of meals! The meal of the single I grabbed up with his bosses, but I bought, after all, I am the landlord.
Can’t think of a place to continue the pastime, I called Audi’s buddy accompanied by arrangements, or Chambers! On the way, T asked softly: “How many men are we? You will not?” I looked at him stupidly, a little strange! Half a day I said, “I try.” I had to call C. There was no one else. On the other end of the phone, she was very surprised that I called, and when I understood, she said, “OK, I’ll bring three or four beautiful sisters over there, and I’m sure I’ll charm you old men! Don’t blame me!” I really regret a little, C is easy to make me lose control of the scene of the girl, not to mention those beautiful sisters of her.
The scene got out of control after C arrived. These beauties usually do not have much business, shoot some ads, run some dragon sets, some of them are evening a money, but their flamboyance is very far from the difference between the Miss Desk, after all, they are all basically educated in the high secondary education, in the Beijing Drift is considered to have seen a lot of knowledge.
After a while, my classmates and his bosses were drenched in their ecstasy, singing basically not a single note in tune, but no one was willing to put down the hands of the wheat, as if tonight is the singer gathered. I am used to the role of hiding in the corner in the crowd, so I was very cozy sitting in the corner, my buddies will do the role of the landlord for me to go.
Naturally C sat right next to me again! I owe her another favor! Thinking of that popular line: if you’re out, you’ll have to pay back sooner or later.
C was very sunny tonight, wearing her long hair tied up like a dancer at the top of her head, over a very careless looking haircut, very clean and plain, yellow t-shirt, skinny jeans set off her very proud figure, but she looked very moving.
Sitting next to me her hand just lightly wrapped around me and was quiet. Watching them fooling around, she asked me, “Are you happy with what I did? Do you see my sisters as beautiful? Are they mesmerized? Look at anyone, don’t hesitate to tell me, I’ll help you!” We just chatted without a word, my eyes were basically focused on my T-schoolmate, the whole night he never got up to continue a drink with me, he kept his arm around a girl, the song and the wine didn’t stop, he seemed to forget my existence, but his bosses came over to toast with me from time to time, one glass after another, and C was to return the toast on my behalf, the same one glass after another. By the time my old classmate remembered my presence, he could no longer speak clearly.
It was a little cooler when we broke up, I asked my Audi buddies to give them a ride, I took a cab to send C to her downstairs, she still said there was no light in the hallway, send me up, I went to the door of my room and found the light on in the hallway. She opened the door without looking at me and said, “Coming in?” Then she went into the room herself, and I followed her in, closing the door behind me. The door closed and the heart opened!
She didn’t make coffee, she turned and hugged me, didn’t kiss me, just hugged and looked at me slyly, I didn’t reject her anymore and kissed her of my own accord, I felt her tears flowing into my mouth, they were salty, all the way to my heart. That’s when I felt tired again! I wanted to keep running, but I was weak!
She silently removed my blouse, but also silently removed her own clothes, one by one, removed very slowly, as if to ask for my acquiescence, until all naked, I did not say a word. I just watched her undress, watched her turn around, watched her naked full body sit in my arms, I lowered my head and kissed her breasts, trying to calm myself, afraid to use too much force to touch the full and transparent globes.
She hugged my head hard, gasping for breath and crying, “I really love you!” As the mad desire once again consumed my flesh and devoured my soul, the vision of the headmistress appeared in front of my eyes again, I silently pushed her away and said, “Take a shower, I’m very tired, I’ll sleep here with you tonight!”
For me, this was my compensation for her, I had no other material to satisfy her with but my heart and body, a soul that had long since ceased to be my own! I slept in her bed, she held me naked, I was like dry wood burned by lust, my back to her, let her touch me, but I never turned around, I was afraid to see her eyes, to see her flesh, to see my soul floating in the air, to see the inexplicable eyes of the headmistress! I couldn’t make love to her! I couldn’t not that I didn’t want to! To enter her body was to enter her whole life! Because she loved me, the sex of a forthright girl was connected to love, and for me it was also connected to fire, to ice. When the passion of ice and fire explodes inside her, love will be like a shockwave of mushroom clouds! Burning through every corner of every frame.
As the day dawned, I drifted into a daze and awoke to find my hand lingering on her plump ass! I quietly got up, dressed and washed my face! Looking at her sleeping face, I couldn’t help but kiss her eyes her mouth, her plump exposed ass, and I knew she was awake, just with her eyes closed as I saw teardrops hanging in the corners of her eyes! I said to her, “Let me hold the last line, and when I can’t let me break it myself! I like you too!” Kissing her deeply on the lips, I left her room.
The banquet to bid farewell to T and his bosses was arranged by my female director, extremely luxurious, she also invited a retired old leader of T and their bar, and two old folks I mentioned earlier, also in the ministry.
The banquet row and the identity level of the accompanying guests, so that T’s bosses are flattered, trembling. T probably has been no position after graduation, but also did not see how many official social functions, naturally do not know what to say, not to mention how to say, as if the first time in the Grand View Garden general, froze as a fool like a frozen. My female director arranged me in the east seat, she sat on my right, and hard to dare to sit in the T pressed on my left, the guest of honor position! The whole night my old classmate was almost in torment, even when I toasted with him he no longer regarded me as a classmate, but with his superiors to call me by my professional name.
The female director of the decent atmosphere gradually digested everyone’s constraints, and gradually wine also slowly strengthened the bottom of the guests, the words are more and more opportunistic, T’s boss’s boss seat even tonight’s banquet as a work achievement to their county leaders to make a report on the work of the report. Several of us were present at the officials have exchanged pleasantries with their county leaders, T’s pride has continued to this day, adding fuel to the story is estimated to be still going on in the South. I understand. Experience determines experience, and experience determines the pursuit of life!
The next day, the head of the women’s department and I drove them to the airport together, and as I escorted T to the marquee, he looked to his left and right, and finally asked me quietly, “You’re lovers, aren’t you? Give me an explanation!” I said no, they are friends and have families with each other. When he entered the checkpoint, he said, “She looks at you differently, you can’t hide this from me! Be careful. Be careful! I know you, you’re not fit to play with fire!”
The plane flew off to the south, taking my peace with it!
When she came to my house at night, we didn’t have sex, which is one of the few times it happens when we’re together. I said I was tired! She silently put her arms around me and went to sleep without asking any questions. During the night, she seemed to stay up all night, constantly wrapping herself around me, snuggling up and pressing her naked body against mine.
Then my wife and daughter and I installed the video, every day have time to chat with them, my daughter said I was her idol, my wife said she missed me very much, and I also have endless words with them every day.
Life is busy, but also calm, only my heart is not calm, the people who love me are hot love me, but I can not bear this too much love! Love became the heaviest burden in my life! At this stage I liked to travel with my leader, but the opportunities were few. But soon came the notice! To the following inspection work, let me make preparations ……
(vii)
To the S province in a few days I experienced another turn of life, this time is the battlefield of my life, I did not choose to escape, I calmly face because behind the stand a firm female director. When summarized Han Xin: “success or failure of a Xiao He, life and death of two women.” I changed it to: “a confidant, rich and powerful two women.” It is indeed apt to characterize my own officialdom in this way.
S province of a major leader H and my leadership XX is the party school of the provincial ministerial classmates and good friends, known as the Whampoa three-star of its two, the relationship between the two have a very deep origin, into a good friend is also the temperament of the same, like-minded.
Before H’s dinner reception for old friends, I received a phone call from the head of the female division, telling me to be present in the evening with all my heart, and that H would probably see me alone in the evening, and explained a lot, that her father was also a longtime friend of H’s. ……
The atmosphere of the dinner was relaxed and lively, like a family dinner of three or two old friends catching up with each other. During the dinner, H suddenly aimed his words at me: “Little X, you have been with XX for a short time, do you want to come down to work out? Do you want to come down and work out? Do you want to leave Beijing?” My leader XX looked at me kindly: “Yes, come to S province to do exercise exercise is also feasible, you also need a little grass-roots work experience, to better serve the people in the future will help, you are still young, there are still opportunities to exercise ah, there are many aspects you still need to strengthen ah, Comrade H is politically mature, you have the opportunity to work under his leadership, will certainly be greatly improved! You have the opportunity to work under his leadership, there will definitely be a great improvement!” Although I was a little sudden, but because of the director of Zhao’s advance delivery, but also did not feel too surprised, then the water pushed the boat: “or listen to the organization arrangements, the two are leaders, and are concerned about my elders, I’m willing to come down to work. Listen to the instructions of the two leaders!”
At the end of the dinner, XX also have to meet with other local leaders, H let me accompany him to walk in the garden of the hotel, this walk, I temporarily out of the capital. I know, because the female director standing in my shadow, she has been silently concerned about me, intentional, intentional.
Not long after that, I went to S Province as a deputy of XX Bureau, deputy department level.
My story is still going on, my life is not yet over, but it’s time for me to make an ending to the emotional story I’ve written, or else it’s time to write a novel and make a tiger’s tail of it.
In fact, although the story has no ending, the ending is already in your hearts! It’s better to leave the different endings to yourselves!
I’m going to have to end this story hastily because I can’t find a reason to keep writing it!
I am now back to work in Beijing. This is the story of the past, today’s is happening and is no longer a story, and I am powerless to speculate on tomorrow’s, so let those who come after me write!
Director Xiao Zhao came about a month after my arrival, without informing me when she arrived. When she called me, it was already after 9:00 p.m. The meal that hosted her had just ended, and she called me when she returned to the hotel.
I was at a friend’s place admiring an oil painting he was showing off, when I got her call, very surprised. Usually on dates she always asks me if my time is free or if I have a job or something like that, and there is already a kind of inertia, so suddenly I heard that very familiar and very magnetic pure Beijing female voice, a little bit of inexplicable excitement, after all, in a more unfamiliar city in the lonely days, her arrival is considered to be a happy news, and is no precursor to the waiting.
Driver Wu immediately sent me to the hotel, as usual, he found a parking place, waiting for my phone, I did not account for when he never asked me what I do to see what people talk about anything. Every day he did his duty, keep the car very neat and tidy, on time in the place I set the time to wait for me, I also belong to the people who do not talk much, sometimes we can not talk about two words a day in the car. This is also a kind of unspoken rule.
Upstairs into the room, she embraced me tightly for a long time, a long time I looked at her carefully, or drink a little wine sake, her face looks very rosy, beautiful more add a little charming.
See me, guffawed and said, “Tea brewed, I took a bath, you first sit by yourself for a while.” Said while taking off her professional suit, I had said that I liked her all dry professional flavor, including her professional clothes, very much reflect her subtle body.
Admiring a mature woman’s body requires a bit of penetrating eyes, otherwise you won’t be able to draw out the sexiness under her clothes. Because of my aesthetic orientation, she prefers more neutral clothing, women for their own pleasure, this point can be judged by the depth of a woman’s commitment to you. (viii)
After washing out, changed into a pink pajamas, more and more charming. I want to hug her, was gently pushed away by her: “first go wash it, you can not go at night, right? Let’s talk properly, miss you!” I just remembered at this time, the driver is still waiting downstairs! After thinking for a long time, I said, “I’ll call the driver and ask him to go back.”
She froze for a moment, smiled and said, “Oh, I forgot about your current position, now you have a car and a professional driver, that will have a bad influence? Don’t jeopardize your image as a leader, you have to be careful when working down there.” I gritted my teeth and said, “It’s okay, I have a sense of proportion.”
I called and told the driver, Xiao Wu, “I have a friend from Beijing coming over, help me get a room at the hotel, let me know when you’re done, I’ll go down and get the room card.” He asked me, “What are the arrangements for tomorrow? What do I need to arrange? Pick you up at the hotel?” I said yes.
When I called she was sitting on the bed smiling at me with a bad grin on her face. When I hung up the phone, I asked her, “What are you smiling about? So ambiguous?” She smiled back, “You even thought of getting another room! You’re not really going to sleep in another room, are you? How can you explain it when you report back to the bank?” I also laughed: “You’re a woman’s friend, you can’t give people more room for imagination! Besides, tomorrow morning there will certainly be people waiting for you, the leader of the Beijing dining it, can not see us in a room ah.”
After a while, Xiao Wu called, I went down to get the room card, he opened a business room on the 19th floor, while she was in a single suite on the 16th floor. I asked her how many people came? Why suddenly come to S province ah? She smiled and said, “It’s not to see you! I made up a reason to go on a business trip! I really can’t leave without a reason!” For security reasons, we moved to the 19th floor for fear of a visit from her men or local cadres.
For one night, like long-time lovers, she clung to me all night long, her mouth to mine, her breasts to mine, her body to mine, so that I couldn’t catch my breath. I felt an inexplicable pressure. After making love, she hugged me and talked, saying endless words, work, life, jokes, and I drifted off to sleep, hugging and talking until close to midnight, when she fell on top of me again, and soon I drifted off to sleep once again.
At dawn, she wasn’t with me, and a queen-sized bed looked empty and disorganized, like a battlefield that had been the scene of a ferocious fight, with a few stains stretched uncomfortably across the white sheets, making the early morning stomach rise a little with nausea.
I don’t know why I suddenly feel a bit tired, I don’t know if it’s my body or my mind. I’ve had a long career as a secretary and have a depressed depressing personality and am particularly sensitive to my own reactions, so I can understand that it’s the tiredness of being a bit tired of life! I think I’m getting tired again! At eight o’clock, the driver Wu’s text message informs: I am waiting for you downstairs.
After breakfast back to the office, a slight headache, looking at the big class table wife and daughter’s photo, a frustrated mood for a long time is difficult to erase, until the bureau office of the administrative section chief Liu knocked a few times at the door and did not react.
Xiao Liu is a very northern characteristics of the woman, about 35 years old, high head, it is estimated to be a few centimeters higher than my 1.69 meters of the female director, but the thick body plate so that she looks taller, especially her big butt, from the back to see the age of forty women’s body, look very general, but is a cup of wine in the Bureau, the Bureau and other departments of the public relations basically less than her.
After she came in to report on the general arrangement of today’s meeting, she said, “A relation wants to invite me to dinner to get to know the new deputy director, and asks if I am free in the next few days. Meet up. “I understood the situation, looked up at her and said, “Let’s see tonight, I’ll let you know this afternoon if I’m free.”
Not in the mood to look at the file, the morning to sit, dealing with the men from time to time to come in to report some trivialities, in the hands of a large cup of strong tea more and more sleepy, and gradually also see the bottom, Zhao director of the text message came: I now have a little time, I want to go over to look at your work environment, is it convenient? I said: you come over.
She came downstairs without informing, she always seems to have an all-purpose pass, sometimes it is her beauty, sometimes it is her temperament, sometimes it is her arrogance, always be able to go in and out of some of the strict government offices, as if the guards are not in place, I have always admired her for this point, but this time she did not use to get a pass, she and a female officer and another woman and a line of three people barged straight into my office. I was dumbfounded when they came.
The arrival of the three women to make my office bright in the color, I do not stint to take out my best tea to soak on, which is usually not much of my own tea, perhaps poor in the bones, humble in the marrow, I have always been a farmer’s son, although I have long been accustomed to the scene of the platoon, and then the luxury of the drinking game dinner has also seen a lot of people, but still as I am the original, a cup of tea, a pot of wine is enough to open the face! Never seek to show off the elegance and money piled up honor! I remember the great man’s heart: I am a farmer’s son, I deeply love my parents, the land under my feet!
But today is a lover from afar, and do not know the women, I also have to follow the common road, make tea, please take a seat, the female director will be introduced up guests. Female police officer is the provincial traffic police brigade inspector, is also Beijing, and her high school alumni, to this is almost gold-plated, but the husband is a local; another woman is a state-owned luxury hotel female vice president.
A moment later, Xiao Liu from the administrative section came in to greet me, she always appeared naturally at such times, and seemed to be born with a social sensitivity. Four women of similar age chatted feverishly, leaving me on the sidelines, as if forgetting my existence, only she glanced at me from time to time. In the blink of an eye, it was lunch time, Xiao Liu immediately greeted enthusiastically, “Let the director treat us a bunch of ladies.” I said, “Go ahead and make the arrangements, don’t make it too complicated, we all need to rest at lunch time.”
In fact, Xiao Liu is in, arranging these things is her strong point, there is no need for me to confide in, she just takes a command. The hotel’s female vice president is not polite: “should I invite Zhao and the director of the director, usually I want to invite you also have little chance, just to our hotel, I will immediately turn it over.” Politely push some, I did not insist, in fact, are not out of their own pockets, just go with her to arrange.
XX Hotel is much more luxurious than I imagined, the hard facilities and decoration standard is enough for five-star hotel standard, but they only hung a four-star sign.
A simple lunch bureau was arranged by the hotel vice president of the female complication, perhaps she is purposefully raise the standard of hospitality, and the table set up several kinds of high-grade wine, I think she was probably attracted by the background and identity of the head of the female, usually the age of the woman if not hair or classmates and so on the friendship in the reality of the utilitarian society, it is difficult to appreciate each other, most of the mutual exclusion, especially each other belong to the The woman’s temperament and appearance are not bad, it is more difficult to tolerate fire and water. This is my humble opinion. That is why I am very unimpressed with such a complicated meal arranged at noon time.
We went to the restaurant box, there have been two men in the seat, we entered the door, they that is up to welcome up, warm and welcoming. One is the general manager of the hotel, originally a hall of the old deputy director, retired to the researcher to the hotel after serving, is a transition to retirement; a female police inspector’s friend, downtown XX deputy director of the police station, commonly known as the head of the snake. Estimated that in addition to the old hotel, we all belong to a product of the times, there is basically no generation gap, the difference will not be more than five or six years old at most.
At noon, I first refused to drink, so the eyes of the whole table turned to Director Zhao, asking for her opinion. She didn’t brush off everyone’s hospitality, looked at the high-grade wines on the table, and said, “Do you have Blue Ribbon? Open a bottle of Cordon Bleu (she knew I only liked this kind of wine), we control the total amount, just one bottle.” After saying that, she looked at me and said, “Is that okay? Old friends plus so many new friends, no wine no feast ah, drink two glasses.” I said, “I can’t say no to that. If you say no again, it’s just like a show-off, let’s drink!” Once the wine was opened, the floodgates were opened, and we drank until after 3:00 p.m. I don’t know how many bottles of wine were opened.
Well, I brought Liu section chief to the banquet, she did make people feel, basically everyone toast to my wine, were her to the leadership will not drink her on behalf of the block over, and from time to time in the stand me when I touched me with my body, caused the female director glanced a few times, I do not know whether it is jealousy or wine role, in the away from the seat to come over to me to clink glasses, quietly with his hand on my buttocks and pinched me hard!
The luncheon ended because Director Zhao’s provincial strip unit came, and their party needed to go down to the grassroots units in the afternoon. She left the table in advance to end the endless toast, I also seem to be relieved to escape. On the way back to the bureau, Liu Kejian sat in my car to go back, in the passenger seat from time to time to turn his head to ask me the situation of these friends, I pretended to be drunk, leaning, no longer say anything.
When I arrived at the bureau, Xiao Liu came over to my office again to explore the arrangements for the evening, and I told her that there was no need to make any more arrangements. In the afternoon, I received a text message from Zhao, the director of the department: the evening leadership of the provincial hall hospitality, may be a little late. Your own arrangements, after the meal in your room at the hotel waiting for me, I tomorrow morning plane back to Beijing. Can’t bear to leave.
When I was about to pack up and leave work, Deputy Director Zhang of the Bureau Office and Section Chief Liu came in together and asked, “Deputy X, do you have any arrangements for the evening? There’s a relation asking if you have any arrangements for the evening?” I asked specifically about the situation, which was in my area of responsibility.
A high-tech enterprise in the city, the province’s Bureau Intelligence System was undertaken by their company, which had a close relationship with the former deputy director. I certainly understand the interests involved, so I hesitated, not very willing to contact such a relationship customers.
But dinner wasn’t scheduled either, and with the expectant look on the faces of the two subordinates, he said, “Go on, then, but I’ve got things to do later, so tell them to make the arrangements easier.”
Section Chief Liu still led the way with me in the same car, and Deputy Director Zhang said to me as he got into the other car, “Section Chief Liu said you like Blue Ribbon Martell, so I had the driver, Xiao Wu, pack a case in the car for your convenience in your usual use.”
When getting on the car, Section Chief Liu explained: “I don’t know that you like foreign wine, leader, in the future, what needs, you try to tell our office, we can also arrange. Also, there is something you can also explain smile Wu, he will convey to our office.” I smiled and said, “Thank you, you guys work very well.” Xiao Liu said: “You are now in charge of our office, is my top boss ah, more should be served more ah.” I said: “I’m not familiar with the professional business, so the old director can only let me manage the logistics and administration of these things ah, in fact, are idle, do not care too much.” Xiao Liu has been moved to say: “like you such easy-going leader is really good ah, you and young, we work under your leadership is very happy, very motivated ah.” She patted up the horse’s ass to their own did not feel unnatural place, but I did not feel too disgusted, just do not want to talk too much with her, not deliberately trying to maintain the distance between the upper and lower levels, but she is tall, coupled with the character of a slightly sticky, so that I have a little man’s uneasiness …… (ix)
The number of people who went to the dinner party surprised me, there are actually as many as twelve people, but in a twenty people can sit on the banquet table, but also seems to be loose. I have a position from the beginning, never seriously served as the experience of the principal official, the only time as a member of the Standing Committee of the County Party Committee, Minister of Propaganda, the time is less than three months, has not really entered the role of the role of the principal official, was transferred into Beijing, so many occasions formally, I’m seldom the guest of honor, and even a lot of times, I was additionally arranged for a second seat role.
Bureau of the banquet in addition to Zhang, deputy director and Liu, deputy director of the Science and Technology Department and an officer; enterprises have the chairman of the board of directors and five people under the three men and two women; and enterprises in the city development zone, a deputy director of my subordinate district bureau chief.
It looked like they all knew each other from way back and I was the only one who was a stranger to everyone. Greetings to each other, the wine began a round past. Wine just drank a few small cups, Zhao director of the text message again: “You eat? I want you, want to take the excuse to slip away first.”
I hastily took the opportunity of going to the bathroom to call her and explain the situation to her.
She said, “Then I’ll send my friend over to help you, you’re not familiar with any of them, so don’t get dunked, I’ve got to make out with you tonight!”
I asked, “Who else do you have coming? I’ve got a couple of guys here!”
She said, “Let the female officer you saw today go through, she can hold it off!”
I’m not so happy about it: “What are you doing? Is this necessary? Besides, she’s got five bans hanging over her head! Aren’t you letting your girlfriend get killed by drinking? I’m fine!”
She got a little pouty on the other end, “Are you accompanied by another young beauty? Afraid that I know, right? You are now the main leader, be careful of the influence, don’t go to the place to let loose!”
I got a little depressed, “If you want to come, you can do it yourself. I’ve got a few beauties here and there, but I don’t think it’s enough to make you jealous!”
I told her the location of the meal, but in the back of my mind I figured there was no way she would come over for this kind of fun.
Expectations went awry, and it wasn’t long before she and the female police inspector appeared outside the door of the compartment. I was at this time by the same table with a purposeful persuasion of the people a little irresistible, especially they brought a girl, looks green, weak, but is not weak, and the goal is very clear, only staring at me alone, not much to say, but the end of the wine glass is not let go, stood beside me, one hand pulling the waiter with a bottle of wine, a toast without a toast, just with the eyes of the silent gaze at me. Just when I felt the pressure of the table wine, she and the female police inspector appeared, but also followed in my driver Wu and their driver, the deputy director of the police station. For the sake of my words on the five prohibitions, they grabbed the chief to be the temporary driver. What a big deal!
After the introduction of their identity and everyone’s identity, the beautiful director from Beijing, temperament and atmosphere at once dominated the whole table! The main focus of the table changed direction under her guidance. The Bureau’s men obviously had a positive performance.
The little girl looked overwhelmed by the gaze of the girls as they came in, and stood dumbfounded by my side. The female director smiled at her and said: “You also sit down, get the director drunk, be careful to be criticized by your leadership ah!” This is the only way to solve the little girl’s siege. I saw her very grateful as if to look at Zhao director smiled a little, in fact, a very sweet smile. But I feel a little sour for her! This is socializing, adapting and not adapting, you have to face.
A moment later, Director Zhao stood up and said to everyone, “I’m going to visit someone with your director, so I’ll go ahead and continue drinking. If it’s not too late, we’ll come back and continue.” Also do not allow everyone to stay, very leadership style and everyone shook hands to leave, as if she is my leader, this is also I have always been more concerned about her pomp, but I know that is her innate sense of superiority. It was this sense of superiority that caused a gradual resistance in my time with her. But I never showed my dissatisfaction, because the tolerance of my profession made me immune to this often encountered pretense. Still, I rejected her doings from the bottom of my heart. Passively, I got up and poured a glass of wine as well, “Sorry, it was nice to meet you all, let’s get together again some other time.” After shaking hands, we insisted on leaving first. As the whole group rose to see us off, I stopped them, “Please stay! You guys go on.”
When my driver, Wu, dropped me off at the hotel, he asked me, “Is it still the same as yesterday? I’ll come here to pick you up tomorrow?” I looked at him, nodded a little, no words, and went up the stairs with the beautiful director, not looking back all the way, so vain that I wanted to naturally ……
When we came back we did not rest, but just tidied up the margins, and then the two of us went to visit my superior, and an old friend of her father’s, who had procured my posting down to the grass-roots level through this leader of mine.
By the way, I would like to say that nepotism has a role to play, but it does not play an absolute role, it must be the role of having a lot of conditions, and then going with the flow. Here I do not want to do more preaching, so that people with experience to perceive it. Visit this leader because he is a heartfelt appreciation for me, while I am his experience and ability is a heartfelt admiration. Because the writing is a private story, this paragraph will pass by ……
It was already late when we came out of the leader’s house, and she said that her friend was waiting for us for a late supper. Her female police officer friend took us to a rather large Chaoshan restaurant near the river, and when we arrived the deputy police chief and the female vice president of the hotel were present.
I drank quite a bit that night, and I came to appreciate the capacity of a woman to drink. With her constantly taking care of me, I still drank a little bit.
It wasn’t long before I glanced at her and made my excuses to leave first. Took a taxi back to my hotel room and made a strong cup of tea to clear my head. A moment later she knocked on the door.
At night, the capital city of the province from the heights of a glance, full of confusion. The suite’s parlor is a floor-to-ceiling large glass windows, the line of sight is very open, from the room’s perspective far away, the nearer there is no higher building blocking the view, you can enjoy the night of the city’s manic flavor of the extreme eye. The cool breeze from the window seemed to convey the story of what was happening behind another night window, and I stood silently behind the glass, trying to isolate myself from the noisy world outside. She wrapped her arms around me from behind, tightly and quietly, and didn’t make a sound for a long, long time.
I silently watched her retreat from the beauty of the lead, we are scattered with a faint smell of wine, sometimes like to drink a little bit of their own sake, mostly not because of the wine to drown their sorrows and other factors. Wine can make a person disorderly, wine can make a person lose his mind, but that’s more in the drink more time. Wine is also a lubricant that can make life full of passion. It can add color to the poetic intestines, and it can make the heart strong and the spirit strong! This is the time when wine makes our world seem less muddled. Especially when we see each other naked, no aura, no interests, only mutual perception of sex and the passion we all want to release.
The power-seeking society is full of the quick success that you and I do not want to see, especially the rules and subterfuges of the officialdom. Since the feudal society, the teaching of learning and excellence has influenced many generations of our correctional son to follow, but only after entering the career path do we realize the helplessness of this path. Standing outside the door of the people may have his perspective, but you can not appreciate the bitterness and joy, the scenery has its own scenery, but the helplessness of the helplessness! Many people reacted fiercely after the former post was written, mostly out of hatred for official corruption, but I do not know that everyone has a subconscious desire to pursue leadership in their hearts, and this desire is sometimes much stronger than sexual desire! Nietzsche’s philosophy is also inherited from the essence of Chinese culture, which is “those who labor to rule people, those who labor to rule over people”.
I wrote the post did not use a very strict literary specific form, so neither like a novel, nor like an essay, and in the middle of adding many more feelings, is entirely due to the excitement, emotionally speaking. So we do not have to emphasize the logic and wording, perhaps this is called style. I do not want to write a post here still need to be cloudy, and finally do not know what. I hope to read the post can know it, but also to know the reason why.
She whimpered softly, eyes slightly closed, mesmerized, her mouth murmuring and humming an unknown language. I felt vacillating and languid even as she moaned ……
Night in the heavy sleep to go, but I can not sleep, I sit alone in front of the window, looking at the city’s night, very beautiful but also very strange, its lights and I really do not have much relevance, I seldom go to pay attention to the beauty of it, like a passer-by’s mood. I don’t belong to this city, just like I never feel I belong to Beijing! Although I like the atmosphere of Beijing, but I have not integrated into its body, I am a drifter. Tea cup in the hands of the tea is so thick that black, a wisp of fragrance in the bitter, thick sadness by the tea in the faint taste, tasting all the way to the dust, all the way to the joy and anger and bitterness. Indifference in looking at the bed, I looked at her naked outside the round buttocks, Pin did not understand is that I am with this beautiful woman’s sex and love ……
People are lonely in the depths of love ……
“Done.”