Because of their argument, Mom often came to my brother’s and my room (the same room at that time) to accuse Dad of going back on his word. Later on, my father bought a car, but my mom also put up the rest of her savings, plus the down payment from another standard (the earliest P2P in Taiwan), to buy the house we lived in later on.
Life got tighter, not only did my brother and I have less pocket money, but there were also a lot of arguments between my parents. Being the last year of the JCSE exams, I was forced to concentrate on my schoolwork since the second year of the National High School Examination. In addition to the increased pressure, my mom’s attention was almost entirely on me, which made me feel very uncomfortable.
“Did you take your vitamins?”
“Have you finished your homework yet?”
“Don’t you have a test tomorrow? Go to bed early, you hear?”
In the middle of the country, these words were most often on Mom’s lips.
My mom rides her motorcycle to school in the morning and home from cram school before dinner. My brother has complained that mom is biased, but in fact, he has been independent and opinionated since he was a child, and he is outspoken and outspoken. In a good way, he is stubborn, but in a bad way, he is headstrong and self-opinionated. Every time my mom would say something to him, he would talk back to her, and his stubbornness gave my mom and dad a headache.
Actually, it’s not that mom doesn’t want to pick him up and drop him off, it’s that he himself insists on lining up with his classmates and going to and from school together. In comparison, I admit that I am more greedy and fearful of money. When I was a kid, my parents were very strict with me, so I had to work hard for my allowance or new toys so that I wouldn’t get beaten up. I guess I was slowly “domesticated” over the years.
At that time, about half an hour or so after I had eaten my dinner, I would continue to read. It wasn’t long before my mom would come in and cut up some fruit, and she used to sit in my room and wait for me to finish eating before she put the dishes away. Every night when I was reading, I occupied the whole room, and my brother was either at the dining room table doing his homework or in the living room, watching TV with the sound turned down.
At first, of course, I found Mom very annoying, thinking that she was staring at me every moment. One time when mom was sitting on the edge of the bed after cutting fruit, I wanted to tell her to go out and leave me alone, but she started to shed tears secretly. I thought I had hurt her with my impatient eyes, so I asked her what was wrong, and at the same time, I tried to explain that I wasn’t bothering her.
I didn’t expect Mom’s tears to flow even more, and it was only later that Mom, talking to herself, voiced her grievances. I don’t remember what it was about, but it seemed to have something to do with loans and my father. After listening to her complain, I realized that the original mom is not easy. Not cool at home, buy food to cook, leisure time shopping, on the beauty on the good look.
After that time, I would ask my mom to cut up fruits from time to time, and then ask her to sit and wait for me to finish eating, and every time she looked happy. I was a little saddened to realize this, and asked myself, “Why does this make her happy?” Since then, my relationship with my mom has slowly warmed up, and I don’t mind her sitting in the room with me to read (she doesn’t sit there for long).
Not long after the start of the third year of national education, that famous earthquake occurred in Taiwan. I was awakened by the earthquake in my sleep, and I panicked and woke up my brother, who was sleeping on the top bunk, and he was quite upset when I woke him up, and his mouth was blurring and I didn’t know what he was reading. I remember that the shaking took a long time before it stopped, and when I was about to go to sleep, the second and strongest shock wave came.
My brother wasn’t the only one who was scared this time, I also heard my mom’s shriek from my parents’ room. Then my dad yelled, “Hide under the bed!” After the shaking was over, our family hurried down to the street below the apartment building, which was already full of panicked people.
After staying for ten minutes or so, Dad started discussing with the other neighbors about the earthquake and how he didn’t know how bad it was. Mom grabbed my arm and started shivering a little, not sure if it was from the cold or the shock.
I volunteered to go upstairs and get her a shirt (I was actually pissing and holding it in a little too hard), but she grabbed onto me and wouldn’t let me go upstairs. After a good long while, as the crowd dispersed, my dad finally decided he could go home. When I got up early the next morning to watch the news, I realized that Nantou had been devastated.
The status of a national student ended for me only the day before the JEE. On the day of the exam, I think I slept for the whole afternoon, right? The next day, my mom bought a newspaper with the answers to the exam paper and asked me to do a test run, and that’s when I finally felt nervous.
I figured I would get in, but I told my mom that I was only about 50% sure. I remember my mom saying with a sad or disappointed look on her face, “Well, we’ll have to wait until the results are released.” On the day the results were released, I told my mom that she would just go and watch, but I didn’t have the courage to face it because of the anticipation and the fear of being hurt.
Near noon that day, my mom burst into the room and told me joyfully, “You got in! You got in!” The test was passed, but the construction company’s progress was not sloppy, the project payment receipts one by one in the mail, parents cold war also gradually increased. Mom was often in a depressed mood during that period, but she pretended to be fine in front of the kids.
But even my super unhinged oldest brother sensed it, not to mention the more sensitive me. Because I was a little worried about my parents’ relationship, I tried to be a peacemaker during the summer vacation when my parents got into a cold war again. Occasionally, when I remembered, I would help my mom with some household chores, but most of all, I knew that I had to take the initiative to talk to my mom.
At first, there is really no topic to talk about, but later found that memories are the best talk box, so when we eat, often ask about some of the past, once talked about Dad and Mom’s proposal experience, always know that my father is not very romantic, but the real non-romantic person seems to be my mother.
On the way home from one date, my dad, “Ah, that, you do want to get married, right?”
My mom: “Yes.”
My dad: “Wow …… that …… we ……”
My mom: “I asked, $160,000 for the small hire, $50,000 for the big hire, and the big hire will be refunded.”
My dad: “66 whoops? Okay, I’ll go home and get the money ……”
The father went home and asked for 660,000, and then they sent out wedding invitations …… No candlelight, no big meal, no getting down on one knee, and even the diamond ring was served in arrears. Parents from dating to get married only about six months, their idea is since both sides have a consensus, so let’s settle early.
The most memorable part of that summer vacation was going to a karaoke bar with my mom, who loves to sing, but is just so busy with the kids that she rarely has time to go. She had a discount coupon, so she planned to take my brother and me with her, but my brother didn’t want to go (he just wanted to stay home and play video games).
I couldn’t resist Mom’s pitiful eyes and broken heart, plus I’d never been there before, so I said yes.
At first it was a bit awkward in the box, mother and son do not know how to operate the jukebox, but also faced with a multitude of tracks, so do not know where to start. I was in school at the time, I do not know which singers are popular, I only know that they are playing Sun Yanzi.
It was hard to order a few of her songs, but Mom pushed back saying she couldn’t sing, so I had to grab the microphone. The weird voice of the voice changer and the fast and slow beat made mom laugh from the beginning to the end of the song. I really thought I had gotten the sentimental lyrics across. ……
In fact, that song opened up the fun atmosphere, and I started to play tricks on my mom; I ordered an old ballad I’d never heard of for my mom, and she ordered an English song for me. Anyway, we took turns singing, and I got so high that I sang a love song to my mom in the suitcase.
The first song was fine, but the second song started to have some sort of indescribable, unexplainable feeling to it. Mom and I even looked at each other a little later in the song.
I thought it was hell in the third year of the state, but I didn’t realize that there were eighteen layers underneath the hell when I went to high school. When I was in junior high school, I was still in the top five in my class. When I was in the flock of cranes, I bitterly realized that I was just a chicken. The ranking fell outside the teens all of a sudden, not to mention mom and dad, even I was depressed.
My cousin gave me a lot of useful advice at that time, so I’m especially grateful to her (though I hope she never reads this); she did better in high school than I did, and she got into the second choice in college. She told me from experience that in a star high school, students are all screened by exams, not the Gaussian distribution environment of elementary and junior high school, so you have to learn to forget about your previous accomplishments.
“You have to focus on comparing yourself to yourself first to regain your confidence.”
“Each subject has a goal of improving another point or two on the next monthly test.”
“Don’t underestimate the progress, the cumulative results throughout the year are huge.” She said.
That year, when the house was finally built, it was probably the best thing that could have happened, because the new house meant that I could have my own room. After moving into the new house, mom came to my room less often; mainly after school, if I didn’t need to go to cram school, I would stay late for study. During the week I usually got home around ten o’clock; on weekends I also got to school at eight in the morning and didn’t come home until five or six in the afternoon.
The first year of high school was a weekly cycle, and apart from reading, the only thing we could do for leisure was to play soccer with our classmates. But the teacher encouraged us to play because they said it gave us the energy to work harder, and he was all for it! During the summer vacation of our sophomore year, the days were the same as normal; from Monday to Friday, we had summer school, and on Saturdays and Sundays, we had study halls.
The other day on a rare occasion when the family got together for dinner, and taking advantage of the relaxed atmosphere, I asked my dad if I could play PS2 in the evening.
“Wow, what do you think, Mom?” Dad looked over at Mom.
When I heard Dad ask that, I sighed inwardly, “It’s over.”
“No. You’re not nearsighted enough? Mom would rather you play ball.” Sure enough!
“Where is this! Why does my brother get to go out with his friends all day long? I can’t do anything but read?” I complained.
“I’m not! I was going to the library with my friends, okay?” My brother rushed to his defense.
“Fart.”
“Okay! What’s all the noise about eating?” Mom stopped the squabbling in its tracks. Dad smiled bitterly at me and bowed his head to eat.
Seeing that the atmosphere at the dinner table was a bit stiff, mom eased her expression and spoke, “Do you guys want to accompany mom to karaoke?” “I have a coupon yo!”
“Mom I’m on shift o this week” my dad reminded without hesitation.
“I know, it’s not like I’m asking you.” Mom finished by looking over at our brothers and asking with anticipation, “Well?”
“That …… I already have a date with a classmate ……” my brother rushed to push.
“Running out to play again? Why don’t you do your homework ……” my mom started reading my brother.
It took her a while to finish reading, and she looked over at me, visibly disappointed when she realized the noncommittal look on my face.
After the meal Dad found an opportunity to ask my brother and I to seriously consider going to sing with Mom. He said that we should cherish our time at home more, and that we should be more responsible and filial. I was a bit reluctant at the time, but I’m glad I listened to my father afterward. That night, when Mom brought fruit to my room, I asked her if she would take me to sing.
“Come on, you’re not going to summer vacation?” Mom laughed.
“On Thursdays, it’s sports and general studies in the afternoon, so it wouldn’t hurt if I didn’t go.”
“Besides, if Mom’s willing to make a fool of herself, it’s about time I didn’t hide it.”
“Hey~ I sing much better than you, okay?” Mom protested with a laugh.
“How about Saturday?”
“Is there a deal for the weekend?” I said skeptically.
“Right thick ……” Mom thought for a moment “Is it really okay to skip those classes?”
“There’s someone in my class who didn’t show up for summer counseling.”
“Well …… I’ll think about it.”
“Aiyo, it’s not going to be anything. Come on mom, I even read on the weekends ……”
“In that case …… well …… okay …… I’ll pick you up at noon on Thursday then?”
“Really? Say yes?”
At noon that day, Mom surprised me by picking me up in Dad’s car. When I got in the car I asked, “Why are you driving Dad’s car?”
“His car was scratched, and this morning the garage told me it was fixed, so I went to the garage to bring it back.”
“Wow.”
“What do you want for lunch?”
“Well …… how about an XXX?” Mom and I loved the noodle shop I suggested.
“Where’s my brother?”
“He went to the pool with a friend.”
“Over too cool ……,” I whispered.
“Well, hold on for two more years, I heard that the university will be played by you for four years yeah! If mom hadn’t gotten married too early, she would have actually wanted to go to college ……” mom began to gush, reminiscing about her youthful days.
“……”
“What’s wrong ……?” Mom said for a long time, realizing I wasn’t responding.
“……”
“In fact, all your efforts mom sees me in my eyes, mom is very heartbroken, you know?”
I’m sorry to say, but at the time I was lusting after a certain female teacher at school who had just arrived. Our class guess was that she was in her early thirties, but she looked like she was only in her twenties. In addition to her delicate face, she had a sensual, mature and confident beauty; for a while, she was the object of my shotgun fantasies.
“Are you listening, brother?” Mom asked worriedly.
I came back to my senses and said with a bit of panic, “Yes …… there is ……”, and when I turned my head, my eyes inadvertently caught a glimpse of mom’s thighs. Mom was wearing a piece of casual shorts, may be sitting relationship also how, her thighs have about three-quarters exposed in the air. Although I quickly retracted my gaze, I couldn’t help stealing glances several times along the way.
I must say, besides the voluptuous and soft curves, Mom’s legs were really white and very white, so white that you could faintly see the green veins under the skin.
Mom drove me home and let me change my uniform before we went to lunch. After lunch, we went to the KTV, where I deliberately created an atmosphere of joy in the box; every time I changed my mom’s singing, I would dance next to her and make her laugh, causing her to sing and laugh, with no complete lyrics.
I got a little addicted, and on a whim, I ordered a love song while my mom was in the powder room. I explained to myself that I was just teasing her, but I couldn’t help myself and ordered a couple more love songs. When mom came back, I started singing, and I remember being so nervous that I couldn’t look at her while staring at the screen.
Sitting next to her unusually quiet, after the end of the mom still did not say anything, the atmosphere mess quite awkward. Finally, I ordered the duet love songs began, I did not expect mom first picked up the microphone and sang, and then I boldly also joined, can feel the two people are a little out of tune.
I involuntarily sat a little closer to Mom, and surprise surprise Mom moved a little closer to me as well. By the end of the song, Mom and I were still sitting close to each other, but neither of us were talking. When the next song started, I peeked at Mom and she peeked back at me. I sang first, and when it was her turn, she didn’t hesitate to open her voice. After that song ended, either out of teasing or out of an urge I can’t explain, I turned around and hugged.
When I hugged her, I felt that she shook and stiffened; I was flabbergasted that I had succeeded, because I didn’t expect to be able to hold her. I thought for sure I would be pushed away, and then she would teach me a lesson, but she didn’t resist. Surprised and delighted, I lost control and kissed her on the cheek. Mom tried to dodge, but how could she when she was being held? I kissed her lightly on the cheeks and neck, and I couldn’t help but start running my hands all over her body.
After a while mom suddenly pushed me away and stood up, I looked at mom a bit puzzled and even annoyed, mom avoided my gaze and then said she was going to the restroom. After that, of course, I couldn’t sing, and I honestly don’t remember how I got out of the karaoke, and how I got home. I just remember sitting in the aide’s chair, filled with embarrassment and chagrin.
After arriving home, I eagerly took out my key, opened the door, took off my sneakers and was about to walk to my room when the sound of the door closing came from behind me. I couldn’t help but turn around and saw Mom bending down to take off her high heels; because Mom had her hair up, I could see slightly into her neckline.
I couldn’t help but piece together the shape of Mom’s breasts. I still remember the black lace top and the beige casual shorts. Mom did know how to dress herself, and since I can remember, she never seemed to be unkempt outside the house, and always dressed in a way that was both simple and stylish.
At that time, Mom’s posture was full of femininity and a certain seductive power. Halfway through taking off her high heels, Mom looked up and saw me looking at her, then scrambled to lower her head. After taking off her shoes and putting them in the shoe closet, she got up and saw that I was still looking at her, and Mom’s expression started to look a little unnatural.
When she tried to get around me, I really don’t know where she got the courage to do so, and I hugged her again. This time Mom didn’t seem frightened and didn’t resist, just like in the box. I got up the nerve to kiss her again, and Mom dodged and didn’t let me kiss her on the lips. But otherwise, cheeks, ears & forehead were all kissed by me.
Gradually, I began to kiss down the side of Mom’s face, and Mom, breathing unevenly, spoke up, “Wait a minute, brother, will you …… stop?”
I stopped slowly.
“Can you let go of me first?” Mom said in a soft voice.
Not only did I not let go, but I looked over at Mom, who met my gaze for a second; but still remember the look of ecstasy in her eyes. Seeing that she had her head down and was afraid to look at me, I got up the nerve to kiss Mom’s shoulder again.
“Just wait ……”
Ignoring Mom’s soft pleas, I continued to kiss her fragrant shoulders.
“Do you …… know what you’re doing?”
I didn’t know how to respond, I just held the woman in my arms tighter and tighter.
“You …… you …… really want this?”
My heart skipped a beat as I looked at her and nodded.
“Some …… things happen …… and there’s no going back …… have you ever thought about that?” Mom finished looking at the floor and fell silent.
Mother and son were frozen like that there in the foyer, and then instead of hearing it, it felt like Mom sighed; she said, again in a small, hard voice, “Go take a shower ……”
My heart almost jumped out of my chest when I heard those few words, as thin as a mosquito’s voice. I immediately let go of my arms, turned around and rushed to the shower room; after turning on the shower head, I started to undress while rushing. Words can’t describe the excitement I felt, but all I could do was yell in my heart, “My first shot! So excited, so excited, so excited!!!”
The bath was full of excitement, although there is a slight thought of her identity, but reason has long been swallowed by animal desire. At that moment, for me, who was full of sperm, mother and child or not mother and child was not a problem at all.
I came out of the bathroom in a towel but didn’t know where to go, tried the door to Mom and Dad’s room and realized it was locked, so I had to go to my room first.
Casually pulled on a short T with basketball pants. Sitting on the bed, I felt so hot that I turned on the air conditioner and thought about closing the door. While she was still hesitating, Mom appeared at the door of the room; the upper half of her body was a plain white T-shirt, and the lower half was a pair of mini shorts.
A homey woman stood there, seemingly with no intention of coming in.
“Mom wants you to think clearly …… something has changed, and you can’t change it back even if you regret it ……” Mom asked me again.
I admit, I didn’t understand the implication of Mom’s words at the time, and just subconsciously nodded my head to show that I understood.
Mom instructed me to lower the blinds behind me, and I did so, even though there was heat shielding paper on the door. Mom closed the door behind her before I picked her up in my arms; I pressed her down heavily on the bed while kissing her indiscriminately.
It didn’t take long for me to take off my mom’s shorts, but she pressed her hand against mine and wouldn’t let me. At that time, I was inexperienced and did not think too much, since my intention was blocked, my hands quickly shifted to caress the upper part of my mom’s body.
Of course, my mouth was not idle, I kissed the side of my mom’s face and neck wildly; as I kissed her, I lifted her T-shirt up to her breasts. Even though the room was a little bit dark, the dark brown lace bra still reflected Mom’s white upper body. I didn’t bother to undo it, so I lowered my head towards the bulge on mom’s chest and kissed her fervently, and my hands were also touching mom’s body all over the place.
After touching her breasts, I put my hand under the bra and started rubbing her breasts. Her breasts were so soft and her nipples were shaped like small grapes. I couldn’t help but push the bra upward, exposing my mom’s breasts to the air; I squeezed my mom’s left breast with one hand, and then opened my mouth to take the other one.
Mom’s breathing gradually became heavier and heavier, and her snorting alerted me like some kind of signal. I tried to take off Mom’s pants again, and this time she didn’t stop me. This time, Mom didn’t stop me. After I stripped off the pants and panties, what came into my eyes was Mom’s white thighs and lush triangle.
I quickly stripped myself, but Mom sat up while I was undressing, fished out the pants I had removed, and, as if by magic, pulled out a small, four-square package and handed it to me, asking softly, “Do you know how to use it?”
I nodded and took it from Mom, starting to hesitate a bit with the condom in my hand, I looked over to Mom, who was already laying back on her back, looked at the condom in my hand, looked at Mom again, and cautiously spoke up, “Can …… I leave it on?”
Except for a slight rise and fall between her chest and stomach, Mom just lay there quietly, I thought she didn’t hear me and asked weakly once more, but Mom still didn’t respond. I decided to put the condom aside and try it first.
When I first started to approach her, I was really excited to the extreme, my heartbeat was violently hitting my chest, and my mouth was dry as hell. I was afraid that she would run away, so I approached her carefully, and as I got closer, Mom’s eyes were tightly closed, and she felt as if she was nervous too.
As the knee moved closer between Mom’s legs, she cooperated by spreading her legs apart, her eyes naturally moving between Mom’s legs, which were really quite thick with pubic hair.
The first time I knelt between a woman’s legs, I knelt a little too far, leaned down and realized the distance wasn’t right, and ended up being the runt of the litter a little closer. One hand holding the meaty cock close to the center of Mom’s leg made her pubic hair tickle a bit. The first time I tried it, the angle was too high and I slipped away; I spontaneously explored the softness between mom’s legs with my hand and found that the “entrance” was a little lower than I had originally estimated.
Slightly pressed down the angle, once again pushed forward, this time the glans really sunk into a warm, soft and slippery place, the buttocks did not hesitate to accelerate until it felt a little choked, slightly back a little to try again, this time, in addition to the root of almost the whole root into the male instincts require that I must be the root of the whole into.
As I was about to pull out slightly, I was surprised when Mom’s hips subtly adjusted their angle, and then my pubic bone and Mom’s were pressed against each other.
The first time in my life, I was able to “penetrate” completely, and I can only say that it was super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super! “What’s this crazy feeling of being tightly wrapped in layers of tender flesh!!!” I yelled inwardly. What’s more, it was the indescribable “warmth” inside mom; it wasn’t just the flesh, it was the feeling of having my soul wrapped up in warmth. I was really back in my mother’s arms in every sense of the word.
I couldn’t help but gallop up, although my ass and waist were still not well coordinated; the frequency of thrusts and movements were also very stagnant, but that didn’t affect the brain-bursting pleasure that mom brought to me at all.
No one could have imagined that year, that summer vacation, that hot afternoon; somewhere in Northern Taiwan, a mother and son crossed the absolute taboo between blood relatives. From each other, they tasted the pleasure and flavor that should never be tasted.
That woman was my brother’s revered and feared mother, my father’s legal wife. Until that day, he had been the only man she had ever known, and the only one who could enjoy her white, soft body in bed. But that afternoon, the woman was held tightly in the arms of some skinny teenager; she was pinned to the bed and allowed to be raped by that teenager.
I buried my face in the side of Mom’s face, my breath coming in fast, filled with the sweet scent of Mom’s hair. Pressed down on the bed, she could only take on the power and lust of her son, one after another. There was no change in position, I just instinctively clasped Mom’s shoulders, experiencing the pleasure that became more intense the harder I went.
The room was filled with the sound of Mom and I gasping for breath, barely scraping Mom’s tender vagina for the last few strokes, I suddenly pushed hard. The mushroom, which had risen violently, pressed against the innermost part of Mom’s ripe, beautiful vaginal cavity, and I began to squirt hard and fast.
Cellar sixteen years of child semen, a large strand and a large strand burst out, mom deep inside the vault, quickly filled with thick semen. The pleasure of coming out of a ripe beauty without a condom exploded my head into a blank.
After a while, I realized that I was already lying beside Mom. When I heard my breathing gradually calming down, all sorts of emotions surged through my heart; the feeling of sin, shame and guilt of being a human being whipped me violently.
“What the hell did I do to her?!?” I yelled to myself.
Inside, I was in the middle of a wild storm when I didn’t realize that the woman beside me suddenly moved; I saw Mom get up and get out of bed, pull a couple of Kleenexes from the desk, and then turn her back to me and start cleaning herself up.
Mom’s back then is still etched in my mind today.
The bra was over both shoulders, barely hanging on if it was going to fall off; she had her head down, one leg slightly bent, and was very carefully wiping her bottom with a Kleenex. Mom’s action, however, made my cock rise again in anger.
I carried Mom back to the bed from behind, and she was a little shocked when I first held her. It was only when I pinned her down again that Mom closed her eyes and bit her lower lip, submitting to let me enter her once more.
The room once again echoed with gasps from both mother and son.
Until now, Mom never screamed; muffled gasps of excitement and huffs of breath during orgasm. She always expressed her pleasure in bed and in the ground with a breath caught in her throat and in her nose.
Mother and son between the second time, I still do not know how to be gentle, only know how to pump and dry, in mom’s body to show off the carnal desire. My skinny waist and hips were towering between Mom’s legs, and every time I withdrew, I could feel the mushroom prongs scraping their way through my pussy.
But I couldn’t let go of it too much, so I couldn’t wait to push my back again, and pushed my manhood back in the same way as before, right up to my pubic bone. I breathed heavily, my nostrils filled with the fragrance of mom’s sweet sweat; my body and soul enjoyed mom’s ripe flesh, feeling the wonderful pleasure she brought to me.
Without warning, my cock was once again picking at my mom’s pussy, and a tingling sensation spread straight down from my waist cone through my hips. The scrotum felt the tingling and began to contract violently over and over again, and my mom gasped as she once again took my hot essence.
The pleasure of ejaculating almost made me convulse, and at the same time, I was surprised how there was still so much left to ejaculate. Finally, the throbbing inside Mom subsided one by one, and I slowly collapsed on top of her, feeling the violent rise and fall of her chest and her heartbeat.
Time passed in a blur between mother and son, and after several moments, Mom muffled, “Will you please come down?”
I rolled over onto my back as instructed, only to feel my entire egg sac dry and light.
It looked like a few drops of something had dripped onto my stomach as Mom got up and stepped over me, but I really didn’t bother. Mom got out of bed and picked up her own clothes, hastily slipped them on and left without a word.
I was left alone in the room, lonely enough to experience the condemnation from my conscience.
This incident, which happened just before my sophomore year of high school, both filled me with guilt and made me feel very weak; I was afraid to face anyone in my family, and I guess Mom was too, right? I was afraid to look at her or talk to her for a couple of weeks. It was as if Mom and I were avoiding each other.
But anyway, I bike to school early in the morning and then don’t get home until about 10:30 at night, so the two of them don’t really get to see each other much.
But a teenager who has tasted meat can’t be described as having a “ravenous appetite”. It was around the time of the second monthly exam, right? Although I still had almost no interaction with my mom, I couldn’t help but miss her again.
Tried focusing myself on schoolwork and sports, tried blaming myself, and tried fantasizing about other women. But the more I avoided it, the deeper the craving for Mom grew.
One night, after taking a bath at home, I heard Mom in the kitchen, so I finally couldn’t control myself and “sneaked” over there. I found Mom hanging clothes on the balcony behind the kitchen. When she turned her head and saw me, she was obviously startled, but she continued to hang the clothes as if nothing had happened.
I stood behind her not knowing how to start, but with desire so strong that I couldn’t help but weakly ask, “Mom ……?”
Mom paused in her hand movements, but didn’t turn around, spacing out before asking back, “Well?”
I decided to move closer to Mom, but as if sensing my movement, Mom turned around and lowered her voice to say urgently, “Wait a minute! You’re not coming over! The rest of the family is here ……”
“Mom ……,” I looked at her with a bit of a wagging tail.
“We’ll talk about what’s going on in a few days, so listen, okay?” Mom said quietly, looking at the clothes in her hands.
At the time, I couldn’t quite make out the meaning of Mom’s words, and I felt rejected, but she didn’t sound like it. I was uncertain, but I didn’t know how to confirm it with Mom standing there so firmly.
“It’s late, get to bed.” Mom urged.
Seeing mom’s attitude is resolute, I do not dare to dwell on it, so I had to leave unhappily. I went back to my room and thought about Mom and shot myself in the foot before going to sleep with mixed feelings. For the next few days, I continued to rely on my homework and basketball, trying to put Mom behind me.
One night after another shower, I opened the bathroom door only to see Mom standing in the doorway.
“I need to talk to you,” Mom whispered and walked straight to my room.
Needless to say, the mood was one of excitement and anticipation.
As usual, I was sitting at my desk and Mom was sitting on the edge of the bed; she waited for me to sit and said, “Do you remember when you were in junior high school? Mom pushed you and your brother hard on your homework, right?”
“But only you listen to the words, have a good use of school …… I see in the eyes really gratified ……” “In fact, mom knows brother you are very hard, so mom always expect that I can do something for you.” Mom eyes are full of memories.
“Then you remember the earthquake too, don’t you?” Mom asked softly. “That time when you realized I was cold and said you’d go up and get my clothes for me, Mom was really touched then you know?”
I bowed my head in shame because the real reason was more than that.
“That time mom was really scared …… also realized that the original peace and quiet is the blessing.” “So I’m getting more and more conflicted inside, I don’t know if I should continue to keep a close eye on your schoolwork, hoping that you will be successful in society? Or …… or should I let you enjoy your childhood happily ……” Mom’s eyes showed a struggle.
“After you went to high school, you arrived at school so early and returned home so late every day that Mom couldn’t see you several times a day ……” “One day I suddenly realized that if you left home to go to college, brother, Mom wouldn’t be able to see you even more. Not to mention the future military, work, marriage ……” Mom said and choked up.
Hearing Mom pour out her heart, I was moved to hold her hand.
“Remember the first time we went singing and had a great time didn’t we?” “So then mom took you there again, simply just to have more shared memories with you ……” mom looked at me, her face full of love. “It’s just that I really didn’t expect to later ……”
Mom’s subsequent descriptions are fragmentary, saying whatever comes to mind. Therefore, the description of the ground after this has been organized, and also participated in the content of many mother and son talk later.
When I hugged her in the box, she was actually stunned and didn’t know how to react. After a long time, she came to her senses, and on the one hand, she cursed herself for overdoing the joke, and on the other hand, she felt that there was something “weird” about it, and it was very sudden.
Thinking about it, I realized that she wasn’t even a little bit angry at my transgressions and violations! Obviously she should have been angry, but instead she was filled with pity. All she could think was that I probably didn’t know what I was doing, or maybe I was just under too much pressure, and that’s why I was so out of sorts, right?
When I tried to kiss her, she just subconsciously looked away, but there was no feeling of humiliation in her mind.
Suddenly a strong curiosity welled up in her; she wanted to know how far I would go? And more than anything else, she wanted to know how far she would go in indulging me. What would it take for her to think it was too much and get angry? But the next moment, Mom realized that mother and son were “out there”, and thinking about that, she subconsciously pushed me away and fled from the box in a hurry.
She said that on the way home, she was in a state of panic, not knowing what was wrong with her. When she took off her shoes in the foyer, she felt my “gaze” inside her neckline, but that also made the curiosity in the box grab her again.
And just like that, she was once again held and kissed by me, and then stiffened again.
“Not out there this time,” she reminded herself strangely, and the question of “not being able to go back” came up in her mind; Mom said it wasn’t so much a question about me as it was about herself.
Reason and “curiosity” struggled with each other, and in the end, curiosity won out. After that, Mom said she felt a wonderful change, as if half of her body was no longer her own. In addition, her consciousness became somewhat withdrawn, and part of her seemed to be observing herself from a third-person perspective. This is why she was able or dared to tell me to take a shower and then involuntarily went and washed herself.
While I was on the bed, Mom said she was fine except for some weird feelings inside.
The kisses and caresses from me didn’t make her feel disgusted, and her body naturally grew hot and wet. In fact, until the “last moment”, mom deep inside still “do not believe”; she did not believe that the last moment I dare, more do not believe that I will indulge.
But I really pushed up and she really let me enter her just like that.
When she really felt me inside her, besides being shocked, she said she just kept asking herself over and over and over again, “Is this real?” “How can it be!!!?!”
After Mom finished her recollection, her eyes stared blankly ahead as if they were piercing through a wall, and I sat there for a long time, speechless.
It was hard to come back to my senses, and I asked expectantly, “So …… we’re …… going to do this later?”
Mom’s gaze regrouped and she sighed quietly, “Ugh …… right …… later ……”
Mom suddenly sat upright and said without a smile, “These weeks …… mom thought about it, you want to have a future, then every condition I said, you have to agree!”
As if reciting a textbook, Mom said the “Five Rules for a New Life” that she would later force me to memorize:
“Homework is progress only, no regression, based on each monthly test grade.”
“We must never tell anyone about what is going on between us; we must know how to avoid it in the family home, so that no one suspects it.”
“And then, that thing where I say no and don’t pester me.”
“And no peeking at pornographic books or movies.”
“Finally …… be obedient!” Mom said with a blank look at me. “Wear it when you’re told to, or don’t even think about it! Know it!”
I nodded desperately several times for each of Mom’s conditions, and after thinking about the last one and understanding it, I nodded hard again.
Mom spoke at length and urged again, “Mom really wishes you well …… Promise me that you’ll continue to study as hard as you did before, okay?”
“Uh-huh.” I responded good-naturedly.
“Ugh, I hope mom didn’t do you any harm ……”
“So it’s okay to …… for a few days,” I asked, a little lewdly.
“Forgotten so soon?” Mom interrupted me, scowling. “You get your report card back for this monthly test first!”
“Whoa, yes!” I almost stood at attention.
Before Mom left my room she admonished for the third time, “Remember what Mom said!”
“Good.”
From then on, every time I got my monthly test report card, I would stick it on the refrigerator door in the kitchen. Mom would look at it and put it away, which meant she “got it”, and then it was up to her to “schedule it”. In this way, I, an ordinary high school student, began to have a “more than normal” relationship with my mother.
But my use of the word “over the top” indicates that I feel guilty about the incident. To this day, that guilt still lingers faintly, both for my dad and even for my brother.
My mom should have felt guilty about my dad too, but I never dared to ask. Whenever we were alone with her, no matter what we were doing, we had an understanding that we would try not to bring up Dad. Even in the later stages when mom and I had gotten pretty good at talking, we still avoided talking about him.
Dad works in the tech industry in Taiwan, and with all the hours and stress, he usually just wants to collapse on the couch after work. But he wasn’t a bad father. If he came home with energy and my brother or I were at home, he would check up on us and encourage us to study hard.
Whenever my brother or I wanted something, we’d trade test scores, or class rank, and Dad was usually quick to oblige. That’s why mom has complained more than once about dad, making her the black face in the house and then playing the white face herself.
In terms of my relationship with my mom, I guess that year would be considered the “adjustment period”. At that time, every time I got off of my mom, I would feel a deep sense of guilt, feeling sorry for my mom and the rest of my family. I used to swear in my heart: “This is the last time, tomorrow I will study hard, be filial to my parents, love my brother, respect my teachers, cultivate myself and my family, and help the whole world” and so on. But within two weeks, the motivation and goal of studying would automatically turn into my mom’s body.
Trying to work hard → gallivanting to my heart’s content → regretting my anger → trying to work hard, sophomore year of high school is such a back-and-forth cycle.