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‘You want smaller breasts?’ The gynecologist asked me with a skeptical look.
‘Right. The boys in my class laugh at me for being a dairy cow.’
The physician put on his black Converse glasses, lowered his head to look at the age field on my case sheet, and said, ‘You’re in the first grade of junior high school now?’
‘Right.’
‘Did your parents accompany you?’
‘I don’t have parents, I’m an orphan.’
‘What about your guardian?’
‘I don’t want her to know. She always says in a few years I’ll be glad I have the size I do.’
The doctor looked at me quietly for ten seconds before saying, ‘What’s your current bust size?’
‘I wear a 34E bra, I know it’s embarrassing.’
‘Disgraceful? Why?’
‘All the girls in my class only wear sports underwear, I’m the only one who needs to wear an adult bra. If I wear sports underwear, when I jump rope in gym class…my boobs will bounce and the boys like to laugh around me and say that it’s a milk cow jumping rope that drips milk.’
The doctor didn’t say anything, so I continued, ‘Recently, many boys would sneak up behind me and unbutton my bra…they just love to see the image of me running away clutching my breasts…as soon as I run away, they’ll run after me in a pack, and they’ll also yell out at the top of their lungs as they do so that they’ll say “The milk cow’s tits are bursting her bra”…’ As I said that, I choked back tears. ”I…I don’t want to…be a milk cow…oooh…”
‘Okay, okay…don’t cry, I’ll find a way to help you…’ The healer handed me a Kleenex.
‘Really?’ I looked at the gynecologist with joy, and at that moment, I felt like he was the hope of my life.
‘But I’ll have to think about how the healing process will work.’ The healer pondered for a moment. ‘But you can’t use your health insurance card for this session, if you don’t want your guardian to know.’
‘Good! I don’t want anyone in the world to know!’
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A week later, I began a secret appointment with the doctor. We agreed that every Friday night at 6:00 p.m., I would come to the back door of the clinic, which was the closing time of the clinic, and after the patients and the nurse lady had left, the doctor would open the back door and let me into the consultation room.
”Sister Liu Yufu, come in.” The physician opened the back and brought me into the consultation room, signaling me to sit down, saying that he wanted to conduct some basic interviews first.
‘You’re 13 years old now, with a 34E chest, and you’re hoping I can help you reduce your breasts, yes?’
‘Yes.’
‘Had your period yet?’
‘Not yet.’
‘Ever had sexual experience?’
‘No.’
‘Know what a sexual act is?’
‘…I’ve heard that it will be taught in the next grade level’s health education class.’
‘Got a boyfriend?’
‘No, I hate boys.’
After making some notes on an unsigned medical history form, the doctor said, ‘This breast reduction program requires weekly in-depth massages, daily dietary control, temperature measurement, and regular medication. The course of treatment ranges from three months to one year, and how quickly it takes effect depends on how cooperative you are.’
‘I will cooperate completely! Please heal me!’ I said firmly.
The doctor looked at me and said, ‘Very well, then we’ll start with a thorough physical examination today, this is to make sure that you’re in a state to be able to load up on this long term course of treatment.’
‘Good.’ I agreed without hesitation.
‘Please prepare here at the consultation table.’ The physician gestured me into a small room and pointed to a light green crib.
‘Please take off all your clothes, including your underwear, and lie down on this treatment bed.’ The doctor walked over to the light green treatment bed and pointed to the two white shelves at the end of the bed, saying: ‘Lie down on the bed and put your feet on these two shelves, so that you can do a thorough whole body health check.’
‘Get ready, I’ll be in in five minutes.’
”Good…” even though I came here with determination, it’s still a shy thing to take off my clothes.
“It doesn’t matter, he’s a doctor, I’m going to trust the physician’s expertise.” I convinced myself, quickly stripped off my body and climbed onto the consultation table, straddling the two kickstands with my feet apart.
I lay naked on the bed with my arms across my chest and my calves straddling the kickstand, my legs spread a bit like an English M, waiting for the physician. The thought of the physician’s willingness to help me stop being the butt of boys’ jokes genuinely filled me with gratitude for him.
‘May I come in now?’ The physician asked from the room outside.
”Come in…”
The practitioner walked over to the completely naked me. ‘Will it be cold?’
‘It won’t.’ I replied in a small voice.
‘Good, then we’ll start the full body health check.’
‘Well…’
‘Please put your hands on top of your head. Relax your whole body and you can distract yourself by looking at the pictures on the ceiling.’
I raised my hands high above my head and laid them flat on the bed above my head. That’s when I noticed that the ceiling of the consulting room had an ocean painted on it, and in the deep sea there were all kinds of different fish weaving in and out of the green water plants, so beautiful.
‘I’m going to auscultate now, it’s going to be a little icy.’ The practitioner put the stethoscope to the middle of my chest and said, ‘Now I’m going to check your lung capacity, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Good, now check your heart, inhale. Exhale. The heart is also fine, now to check the breasts, just breathe in a natural rhythm.’ The physician put the stethoscope to my left breast, wandered for a while and then switched to my right breast. ‘There’s a bit of a murmur in the right breast, I’m going to examine it more closely.’ The practitioner grabbed my right breast with his other hand and then applied the stethoscope to my nipple.
‘A…’ I accidentally screamed out as the stethoscope was pressed against my nipple.
‘Uncomfortable?’
”N…no…” in fact, I’m just a little surprised, after all, it’s the first time in my life that someone other than myself has touched this place…
‘Can I go ahead and check my breasts?’
‘It’s okay…’
The practitioner’s cool stethoscope returned to my nipple, first pressing lightly, then beginning to turn in circles. ‘Beautiful nipple color, pink, like a little cherry blossom.’ The practitioner rubbed my nipple with the stethoscope.
‘Your right nipple is hard.’
‘Eh? Why? What to do?’ I raised my neck to look at my right breast.
”It’s okay, it’s because your boobs are so big that you react so quickly. Just remember that in the future, if one side gets hard, you have to make the other side hard as well to equalize it.’ Saying that, the physician immediately rubbed my left nipple with the index finger and thumb of his other hand.
“It feels so strange, I don’t know if I should tell the physician.”
Now the physician’s two hands each grabbed both of my nipples and rubbed them.
‘There, both sides are hard.’ It seemed to be what the doctor expected.
‘Next do a breast compression test to make sure you don’t have any hard lumps.’ The doctor took off his stethoscope and placed it on a side table before grabbing both my breasts with his hands.
‘It’s going to be a little uncomfortable, let me know if you can’t help it.’ The practitioner began to knead my huge breasts, a little pressure, a little rocking, a little pinching. ‘Your breasts are very soft.’
‘Is this bad?’ I asked nervously.
‘There is no good or bad, every woman is different.’
The doctor grabbed and rubbed my breasts while tweaking my nipples with his thumbs. ‘What does it feel like?’
‘N…n…it’s okay…’ I replied in a small voice.
‘Very well, in the future massages like this must be operated by me once every week.’
‘Observe the temperature next.’ The practitioner let go of my breasts and walked to the end of the diagnostic bed and stood between my spread feet. ‘Now it’s time to take your temperature, using an anal thermometer.’
‘Anal temperature…?’ I can’t remember the last time I took my anal temperature at how young of an age, and I’m a little scared.
The physician probably sensed my nervousness, so he said, ‘Don’t be afraid, it won’t hurt, I’ll lubricate first.’
The physician walked over to the utensil table, reached into a white container with his index finger and scooped up a small piece of something transparent, then grabbed a thermometer in the process, walked back between my legs, pulled a wooden stool with wheels and sat down.
‘To lubricate.’ The practitioner, facing down towards the underside of my open feet, reached down and rubbed his hand back and forth across my anus, smearing it with the clear-like object he had just scooped out of the white container.
“Icy.” My ass wiggled reflexively.
The practitioner ignored my reaction and continued to rub my anus. ‘The anus is tight.’ The physician’s finger traveled up and down the opening of my anus, then suddenly pushed his finger one knuckle inside my anus.
”Ahhh…” being penetrated by a foreign object for the first time made my body unconsciously reflexively move and raise my ass. Unexpectedly, this action of mine accidentally caused the physician’s finger to be shoved deeper into my anus, so I screamed out again, ”Ahhh…”
The practitioner pressed gently on the small of my back and gestured for my ass to relax and lay flat on the diagnostic bed. ‘It’s ready to be inserted.’ The practitioner withdrew his fingertip and just when I thought I could catch my breath, a cold thermometer plunged deep into my anus.
‘Oooh…’ I could visibly feel the coldness in my anus, this foreign body sensation that kept me from moving.
‘It’s inserted, nothing to worry about. We’ll wait a couple of minutes for the temperature report.’
The physician took a few steps back, crossed his arms over his chest, and watched me silently. I was lying naked on the table, legs spread in an M-shape, breathing heavily as I waited for what felt like two minutes of a two-hour period to pass. Knowing that the physician was standing right there, with my legs spread so wide…I could clearly hear the rapidity of my breathing and the rapid beating of my heart.
I don’t know how long it took before the physician said, ‘Almost there.’ The practitioner walked forward, sat back down on the wooden stool in front of my buttocks, and pulled the thermometer out of my anus to check it, but not all the way out, with the mercury part of the very tip of the thermometer still sticking out of my buttocks. ‘36.1 degrees, normal.’ With that said, the doctor shoved the thermometer back into my anus.
‘Ooooohhhh ….’ I didn’t realize the thermometer had been inserted back into the depths of my anus.
‘Do we have to keep taking temperatures?’ I asked the doctor.
‘You have to keep it plugged in all the time to watch the temperature.’
I didn’t understand it, but I trusted the practitioner’s expertise, so I dutifully let the practitioner’s thermometer stay in my butt.
‘Next check the hymen.’ The physician looked at me and asked, ‘Do you know where your vagina is?’
‘Know…down there…’
‘Can you show me the exact position by comparing it with your hand?’
‘Here…’ I pointed my finger at my bottom and told the doctor, ‘This…’
‘This is not your vagina, this is your labia.’ The doctor pulled my hand down a bit and said, ‘This is where the entrance to your vagina is. Got it?’
”Oh…got it…”
‘I guess you still don’t get it, I’ll explain it to you, please put your hands back on your head.’
I listened to my physician and placed my hands flat above my head.
‘I am now going to explain to you the construction of your genitals, listen carefully and make sure you memorize it.’ The practitioner reached underneath me and grabbed the two pieces of flesh underneath. ‘These two pieces are your labia majora. The labia majora are used to protect your vagina and clitoris.’ After saying that, the practitioner pulled my labia outward, and in that instant I felt a cold breeze blowing through my bottom, a sensation I had never felt before, as if a secret place in my body had been opened up.
‘Your labia majora are very pink and thick.’ The physician paused and said, ‘Just a little thick with hair.’
Once again, the practitioner pulled my shiny flesh outward. ‘There are labia minora hidden inside the labia majora, this is it.’ The practitioner touched a spot I never knew existed and then fiddled with his fingertips until he stopped at a hole. ‘This, inside the labia minora is your vagina, the place you’ll use to have babies later.’
The practitioner took out a silver flashlight from his pocket, turned on the light and shined it on my vagina. ‘See…your hymen. Your hymen hole is moon curved.’
I didn’t say anything back because I didn’t know hymens came in different shapes.
‘The hymen is intact.’ The physician turned off his flashlight and put it back in his breast pocket.
‘Next check the clitoral function.’ The practitioner again spread my labia majora and then touched my clitoris.
‘Eh…’ It’s such a strange feeling, but I hold back from making a sound.
‘Feel anything? This beanie is your clitoris, the most sensitive place for girls.’ The doctor gently flicked and squeezed my doudou.
‘Hnn…it feels…I don’t know…’
‘Don’t resist the sensation, because now for the physical exam, we have to determine if the clitoris is functioning properly.’ The practitioner began to move up and down on my clitoris.
My ass twitched reflexively under the healer’s fingertips.
‘Relax, close your eyes and feel.’
I closed my eyes and felt my breathing quicken, my legs tingling and shaking slightly at the same time, it felt so wonderful to be touched by my physician’s bean, never knowing that my body could give off such a response.
‘Tell me how you feel.’
‘It’s so strange…numb and itchy and hot…’
The practitioner quickened the speed of his fingertips, going from sliding them up and down to circling around the top. ‘Your bean is sticking up, come on.’
‘Healer…I…it’s so weird…Healer…’ My ass shook up and down uncontrollably.
The physician ignored me and kept his fingertips tweaking my clit, and not only that, he started rotating the thermometer in my ass from side to side.
‘Healer…it’s so strange…my body doesn’t feel normal…ah…Healer…there…’
‘What does it feel like now?’ The physician jerked up the thermometer in my ass.
‘It’s so weird…ah ah ah…not like this …. I ….’
My ass lifted and rocked from side to side in time with the healer’s tweaking of my clit.
At this point the physician stopped abruptly.
‘Healer…I…I…’ I gasped, unable to speak clearly, only looking at the Healer quizzically, and for a moment I wished that he would continue to check the function of my clitoris.
‘You’re wet.’ The physician said.
‘Um…Healer…what happened to me?’
‘Your vagina is watering.’ The practitioner reached down and gently slid his hand over the opening of my vagina and I could feel a wet mug there. ‘That means your clitoris is functioning normally.’
The practitioner slowly pulled out the thermometer from my anus. I had a strange sense of loss as the thermometer was completely withdrawn from my anus.
‘Temperature elevated 0.5 degrees, good response.’
I didn’t respond to the physician because I was still gasping for air.
”The medical checkup is over, and you can start the official course of treatment next week. You lie still for now, I’ll get the oral medication.’
The doctor left the inner consulting room, leaving me alone and still trembling slightly on the consulting table. I was so shocked by what I had just felt in my body that I didn’t know what to do.
The doctor returned to the consulting room after almost ten minutes, he walked towards me who was still lying on the consulting table, holding a clear cup with a thick white liquid in his hand. ‘Open your mouth, this is your oral medication, you have to drink at least one glass every week, and you can’t dispense water when you drink it.’
I opened my mouth.
‘Stick your tongue out, you’ll choke if you swallow straight.’
I spat out my tongue.
‘Stretch out a little more.’
The practitioner put the oral medication onto the tip of my tongue, it was thick and cloudy, it was warm, it smelled a lot like bleach, and the medication slid from the tip of my tongue down my tongue and into my throat.
‘How does it taste?’
”Cough…the smell of medicine…it tastes so heavy.”
‘Would you like to keep eating it later?’
‘Willing! I’ll take any amount as long as it works!’
‘Very good, very well behaved. You are a good patient who cooperates, this will heal faster.’ The doctor put the bottle with the white medicinal syrup on a side table, turned his back to me and said, ‘You can only eat vegetarian food from today, can you do it?’
‘Do get it.’
‘Very well, eat plenty of vegetables and fruits, and don’t touch meat, especially the gelatinous stuff and the fatty ones. Come over at the same time next week. This treatment is something I’m helping you with behind your guardian’s back, so you can’t let anyone know about it.’
‘I won’t tell.’
‘You can’t just repeat what I did to you at home by yourself, in case you don’t do it the right way, it’s a lost cause, okay?’
‘Got it.’
‘Very well, today’s inspection is over and you may leave. Report to work next week on time.’
‘Aye. Thank you physician.’
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Now that I’m older I realize that the white syrup I drank every week was the physician’s semen.