The Eight Psalms of the Story.
ordained by fate
lit. plant love in the spring breeze and rain (idiom); fig. to nurture a friendship
March is the month for marriages
My heart is engraved in your heart.
I’ll always remember the lingering green brook.
Where is the love that was so far away?
It’s hard to say goodbye to love.
Why can’t you stay out of it?
(Organizer’s note: the first word of the eight titles, connected to another mystery, the original title of the first sentence is “x to the fate of the clever arrangement”, I because of their own needs to organize the essence of the district, fill in the “since the fate of the clever arrangement”, but I think it should be a family name.)
After reading the previous bulletins about ‘My girlfriend is a call girl’ and the confession of a working lady, I cannot help but feel something, so let me tell you a true love story that happened to my friend for your listening pleasure, in the hope that you will not discriminate against working ladies any more.
(a) x comes to the fate of the clever arrangement
The following account is given in the first person.
On March 14, 1995, I was invited by a good friend, together by Hsinchu to Jhongli, Hongmen Hotel, a door, the manager (old) a look is three handsome, even greetings, and to ensure that the recommended top beauty to us these three rare guests. Not long after, came three ladies, and even which one with which one lady are still the manager specified, because the posture is really nothing to say, so we all have no opinion, on their own with open.
The young lady I was assigned to was wearing long boots and black shorts, with long thin thighs, very sexy… But she had a cool face, and as soon as she entered the room, she lit up a cigarette, which was even more distasteful to me because I don’t smoke. I really wanted to check out and change to another girl, but just as I was about to do so, she took off her clothes and I changed my mind because her body was so great, so I didn’t want to change to another girl because I was really attracted to her body.
After undressing, we went into the bathroom to rinse off together, and I couldn’t help but marvel at her: ‘You have a great body! And she replied, ‘Your “brother” is also very big…’ I was actually embarrassed.
After washing, she dried me off and asked me to go out of the bathroom and wait for her… Soon she was lying on top of me wrapped in a towel. I removed the towel with my hands and kissed her peach-colored nipples. Her areolas were very small and not dark at all, but her breasts were so big… I wanted to kiss her nipples forever. I asked her, ‘Can I kiss you on the mouth? She laughed and said, ‘It smells like smoke! I said, ‘That’s okay…’ I kissed her in ecstasy, flicking my tongue in and out of her mouth, and then I asked her, ‘Do you have a boyfriend? She smiled and said, ‘I broke up…’ I said, ‘Will you let me be your boyfriend for an hour? She nodded her head and said, ‘Yes…’ And so, like husband and wife, we made a very passionate and perfect union that was unforgettable.
I remember it was a cold day, but after more than half an hour of passion, we were both drenched in sweat, and she was so tired that she stretched out on the side of the bed, saying breathlessly, ‘You… go… wash first… I’m going to take a rest… I haven’t felt this good in a long time’. After the shower, we had been having sex and foreplay for over an hour and a half, so the manager came in and knocked on the door, urging Siau Ling (her pronoun) to hurry!
My heart really ached. But I had no choice but to say goodbye. Before I left, I asked her when she was going to come back, and she told me, ‘One day of work, one day of rest…’ And so, I returned home to Hsinchu with a sweet feeling in my head. When I got home, I jerked off twice more, thinking of her, and it felt really good.
In the past two days, I was always thinking about the passionate scene of that day’s lovemaking, and I really wished to see her again. Therefore, two days later, on March 16th, 1995, I went to that hotel again, alone. This time, I was a bit nervous, lol… I was so proud of myself in the shopping mall, but I was embarrassed too! When she saw that it was me, she smiled sweetly, ‘Why didn’t you come with the artillery regiment today?’ I said, ‘They didn’t have time…’ Oh my God, I missed her so much… We chatted and didn’t take off our clothes, just like a couple, and I told her, ‘Can you promise me not to do it, that we won’t contact each other, and that we won’t have sex today, and I’ll pay for it! I’ll pay for it!
(Her price was 6,000 dollars.) She didn’t say anything, she seemed to have something to say, and she was about to take it off… I told her, ‘Think about it…’ But she still couldn’t say yes, and just told me that she would do it less often. And to encourage her, I really didn’t have sex with her that time, I just chatted because I liked her from the bottom of my heart. It was only when the manager called that she got up to leave, and I gave her the money, and she kissed me deeply and then left me…
From that day on, I told the manager to call me on my cell phone whenever Siau Ling came to work, I wanted to look for her again. In fact, I was conflicted, on the one hand, I hoped that she would never go to work in a hotel again, and on the other hand, I really hoped to hear from her because I didn’t ask her for a phone number or a dialer, and I didn’t even know her real name… And so it all seemed to pass by while waiting, and she really hadn’t gone to work yay! And I wished her well, even though I wanted to meet her again. And so, two weeks passed.
On this day the company was having a meeting at 1:30 p.m…. Suddenly, my cell phone rang, and it was the hotel manager calling, ‘Ah Chang! Your Siau Ling has finally arrived! Can you come now? Because she can only stay until four o’clock.’ I said, ‘Yes… I’ll be right there.’ I couldn’t have cared less about being in the middle of the drive, so I took the express train from Hsinchu to Jhongli, and on the way there, I was really excited to finally see her again!
(ii) Planting love in the spring breeze and rain
The following is told in the first person: (I’m the hero’s best friend)
In advance.
The first episode was rushed online so the two male and female leads were not introduced.
The hero: a man who knows his own personality and is quite persistent in his feelings. He is also quite confident in himself, his own conditions are not bad, when he met the heroine, he was the head of a company, and he started from nothing, he was only 28 years old at that time, and because he had expressed his views in the newspaper many times, and he often appeared in the local media in Hsinchu, so at that time he was also considered to be half of a public figure, and he originally intended to participate in the election of the municipal councillor at the end of this year, and to start his career in politics, but he has not been seen for the past one or two years, and he has seemed to have I’ve given up on the idea.
Heroine: sixty years times, 163 centimeters, 47 kilograms, three circumference 36.22.33, really big big small! Snow-white skin, tender as a baby, face a bit like Chen Xiaoxuan, long hair, like to play the piano, read Akagawa Jiro’s deduction novels, Crayon Shin-chan, smoke very heavy, sometimes have the habit of taking sleeping pills, Taoyuan people, the appearance of the cold, ruthless, but in fact, the heart is very soft. Hates men, doesn’t like to have sex, when the hero pursues her, there are twelve people around her at the same time. Loves cleanliness, likes to do household chores… Likes to drink coffee, very tasteful.
The second episode begins.
After two weeks of waiting, on April 2, 1995, I finally received a call from the hotel manager that the meeting had been temporarily postponed to 5:00 p.m., right on the highway, and I thought to myself, “How am I going to talk to her when we meet later? How to persuade her? Why is she here again? I must get her contact information today, otherwise this is a very difficult day… I must find a way to help her get out of that kind of place! Because I know that I have fallen in love with her!
Once again, I went to room ‘512’ and waited for her, reviewing the conversation I was going to have later… Time was passing by, but it felt as if I could hold it in my hands… Suddenly, a knock on the door startled me in my thoughts. She came, smiling, dressed as a lady in a white dress. She was dressed as a lady in a white dress, but her figure was so unusual that I didn’t want to think of her as a girl who worked in a place like this.
‘I heard from the manager that you’ve been looking for me a lot, and you’ve been calling within a few days…’ I didn’t wait for him to finish, but I couldn’t help but hug her and kiss her passionately, the previous review session was long gone, and we were just like a couple who had been together for a long time, kissing each other and at the same time removing our clothes in a very unspoken agreement and with great eagerness The clothes of each other, just like in the fire line action, Clint Eastwood to the heroine Renee Russell’s bedroom scene, while kissing while walking to the edge of the bed, clothes off all over the floor, it was hard to stop, she wiped away the lipstick on my face, I said: ‘I just had a wash there (because of oral sex, so to keep it clean, this is the basic respect for women) so it is very clean, you also just came to not have sex yet. You’re new here and haven’t done it yet, so I don’t think we need to shower first.’
It was another very passionate time, especially from the reflection of the mirror to see her side figure and moving curves, coupled with the sound of the sound of the sound, so far I am still impressed, I think I can not forget in this life. Because it is as soon as the door began to make love, coupled with the afternoon time less customers, so we have a lot of time to chat today, I asked her: ‘the last few days it was hard not to come, why today again?’ She said: ‘In fact, these days her father in Changgeng surgery, she went there to take care of her father, and the manager day and night caller called me to come to work, so I am free this afternoon, so I came, and later at five o’clock to go to change shifts with mom.’ I asked her to consider going out with me, and she said: ‘Do you mind if I smoke?’ I shook my head and kissed her and gagged her… ‘I don’t have a good temper…’ I shook my head again and kissed her and gagged her to show that I didn’t mind… ‘I’ve been with a lot of guys…’ She told me about a few of her shortcomings, and I always showed her that I was willing and able to accept them with the same action. accept it, as long as she never did it again…’ She promised me she would think about it.
Before she left, she gave me her caller ID and name and I gave her my business card. Her name is Ho Yu Lam, I know that is not his real name, because she still has to protect herself, because I can see that she is a person who has suffered a big disaster, so she is a little bit nervous, so a lot of times her eyes are like birds of a feather. I want her to take care of herself and she also hopes that the next time we meet will not be at this place and the next time we meet will be a date lo!
It was really great… I returned to Hsinchu with a lot of excitement and continued my unfinished meetings.
After a few days, I called her almost every day, but I didn’t call her back, and I didn’t go to work until a week had passed, and then one night she called, and said that she was in Zhongli, with the manager next to her, and couldn’t talk for too long, and asked me if I’d been looking for her for a long time, and said that she’d been putting her phone on this side of the hotel the past few days, and that she’d forgotten to bring it back with her on the second of April, so she didn’t know that she needed to call back, and that it was only after she came here today that she realized that I’d asked her to call…. When I asked her to meet me, she said, ‘Well, tomorrow’s fine, I’m not working and my father has been discharged from the hospital’. We arranged to meet in front of the New Far East in Jhongli, and I asked her to dress more innocently, the simpler the better, and not to wear makeup and lipstick, the more natural the better.
After hanging up the phone, I missed her even more! In the past, it was fine if I missed her but didn’t know where she was, but now that I knew she was there, and that I might have to do that with someone else… I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to… How can I stand it? It was eleven o’clock, so I immediately got up and changed, and I bought a can of coffee along the way, as she had said in our last chat, and when she saw me, the first thing she said was, ‘Didn’t we agree never to see each other here again? Why are you here again? What happened? I told her, “I missed her and couldn’t sleep, so I came here… We drank the coffee I’d bought, and she bought me her snacks… and so we started to get intimate… Can you imagine? It really felt like a couple. She was a very kind person.
In the middle of sex, I suddenly told her, ‘Siau Ling, I love you! When she heard my words, she stopped moving, and after a few seconds of looking at each other, it seemed that there was no need to say anything… because it was a common feeling, and I was just the one who expressed it… and then she hugged me tightly and kissed me… When the whole thing was almost three quarters of the way through, I noticed that her expression seemed to be very painful, as if her stomach was hurting, so I stopped the piston movement and removed the condom (which was just the right time to do that). (Here just answer a netizen’s question, I have to wear a condom, and she reminded me to wear) removed after I did my own break, she asked me why I want to jerk off on my own? I said, ‘I couldn’t bear to see you in so much pain. What was wrong with you? It turned out that she had a stomach bug again. In fact, the 10-centimeter long surgical scar on her belly showed that she must have had a serious illness, which made me feel even more sorry for her. After the operation, it was already about one o’clock, I invited her to go for a night tour and chat, hoping that she would take a rest tonight, she agreed, and arranged to meet at Zhongli New Far East in twenty minutes, she asked me to guess the color of her car, and I guessed it, she drove a white March, and this car accompanied us to accumulate a lot of memories in the future.
I waited at the agreed place, twenty minutes passed… thirty minutes… forty minutes… I was afraid that she wouldn’t come, that she was cheating on me… really… Finally, around two o’clock her car showed up. After she got into my car she apologized profusely because a man with tattoos all over his body had come and no one dared to do it, so she had to take it. It really made me sad to hear that. ‘So is your stomach better now? Do you want to buy some medicine?’ She had it with her… This is standard equipment on people with gastrointestinal problems, right?
We went all the way to Tian De Tang, a famous place for night view in Hsinchu, behind Ming Hsin Technical College… We talked about everything… but it felt like she was full of vicissitudes of life, which she couldn’t tell. She said she came out with me because my eyes were very much like her ex-boyfriend’s, and so when she saw me for the first time she was impressed, but unlike her ex-boyfriend’s, I didn’t have the same kind of murderous aura in my eyes! Turns out her ex-boyfriend was a hooligan.
We will naturally kiss each other, just like a couple who have known each other for a long time, and we don’t feel that we have only known each other for less than a month. Soon, the daybreak, I drove her car in her back to Zhongli, on the way back to Zhongli, she leaned on me, look at her face serene, I know that is her long-lost days of ease, I made up my mind to get her out of the misery. I told her, in the future, I call you to leave ‘512’ number, that I am saying to you: ‘I love you! Usually people use ‘520’, but because we met many times in room 512, so we use it as our tacit understanding! It’s also a memento. Call me when you get home, okay? Let me know you’re home, she said: ‘That’s the right thing to do, because you care about me.’ When I drove to Xinzhutou Qianxi Bridge, she called me to tell me that I was safe at home, and asked me to take a rest before going to work. ‘Don’t forget about your appointment tomorrow afternoon! Bye-bye…’ And so… that was our first date.
The next morning I called her and we were chatting happily when her caller rang, the code number left was 512, the problem is that only she and I know this code number! But I was on the phone with her! It couldn’t have been me… She didn’t know how to explain to me that someone had called her on her cell phone, but the number was a code that only she and I knew the meaning of! Of course, it was me! How could anyone else know the code name? So she was shocked… afraid that I might think she was telling someone else our secret code name… seeing her speechless for a moment… I thought it was really funny… Then I told her it was me… and she laughed with relief… it was such a relief! He asked me, ‘Aren’t you on the phone? How can you call a telephone?’ Because she knew there was only one phone in my house at the time, ‘I’m sorry, I’m calling from my cell phone! Hahaha…’ But she was happy… because it was like saying “I love you” indirectly… and it made her feel very warm and romantic… The much-anticipated afternoon date finally came… I bought a bouquet of flowers and put them in the backseat, and after she finished her piano tutoring, she took a taxi from Taoyuan to Taipei. She took a taxi from Taoyuan to Jhongli. We went to see Crisis Story. After the movie, it was dark, and I was about to give her the flowers in the parking lot before we drove out. Just as I said, “Wait a minute,” and turned around to pick up the bouquet of flowers, she gently leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I saw them when I got in the car this afternoon! Oh my… I’m so sorry, I’m so embarrassed! I wanted to surprise her… I thought she didn’t know, but I couldn’t help but hug and kiss her… because she looked so cute!
We went to a Windsor Castle Courtyard KTV on East Central Road to sing, and it was there that I first heard the song ‘New Loveless’. After leaving the KTV, she told me she wanted to buy a CD, but it was too late, so she stopped. It was already twelve o’clock, I really do not want to say goodbye to her so early, but so late, there is really no place to go, she has not been proposed, the car wandering aimlessly, I do not dare to ask to spend the night with her, because I am afraid of her misunderstanding that I came for ‘sex’, just when I was going to propose to drive her home, she said: ‘You see there is a place there, there is a place to buy a CD, but because of this, so stop. ‘Look, there’s a motel there! As anyone who lives in Jhongli knows, there are motels all over Huanzhong Middle Road, and I’ve passed several on the way… I knew she didn’t want to go home as much as I did. But I was really embarrassed, why? You’ll know if you read on!
When I arrived at the motel entrance, I asked her, “Do you want to rest or stay? I turned to her and asked, ‘Do you want to rest or do you want to stay? Oh, my God! I’m such a bumpkin! What kind of a guy asks a girl on the spot? So she turned her head away and said, ‘I don’t know, don’t ask me! That’s when I realized that I shouldn’t have asked her in front of the waiter. Maybe it was out of respect, but what would people think of her? No wonder she minded… But when I went inside, she said to me, “You’re really something, you really haven’t had a room with a lady? …Oh… it’s really dirt!
Maybe it’s the quiet of the night that makes people feel less defensive… She recounted her past. Her family owned a rubber factory in Sinjhuang, and she was originally from a good family, but three years ago, because of the stock market crash, and because her mother, who was managing the finances, was swindled out of nearly 20 million dollars, her family was facing a collapse. But because of this family change, the man took the initiative to help her family to recover the money, and as a result, ten million dollars was recovered. Although it could not completely solve the predicament, at least it was already a great favor, and as a result, she became the girlfriend of that hooligan in a half-hearted manner.
After she and the man back to Taipei Songshan, was placed under house arrest, not allowed to go home, not allowed to act alone, and move to beat her, forcing her to get pregnant, good thing the man’s sister secretly buy contraceptive pills for her to eat, so that did not get pregnant! She said she was just like a dog, not even the right to watch TV to turn the channel, but also escaped to go, but were caught back, and even once in front of the police screamed for help, but still stood idly by and watched her being a few men frame away, so she hated the police. She was also often locked up in the mountains, she also had her elbow joints broken and her nose broken, she described it as being broken by a baseball bat, she fainted from the pain at that time, when the doctor chucked out the broken nose bone piece by piece, it really hurt like hell!
The open scar on her stomach, on the other hand, was the result of the man thinking her stomach pains were fake, so he didn’t believe it was real until she was in so much pain that she was going crazy, and then she was rushed to the emergency room, but it was so bad that she had to be operated on. The whole year, or maybe it was a debt… as she put it, she spent the whole year being treated as a forbidden person.
A good girl, double ten years old, just like this in the heart cut enough to destroy her life scars! She said her ex-boyfriend was like the devil in her heart! Even after more than a year, she still often wakes up in nightmares. After she escaped, she vowed never to trust anyone or have a boyfriend again, so she told me that she could have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, but no boyfriend/girlfriend bondage, which was a big accommodation for me! Other men weren’t so lucky, and it will be mentioned in future episodes how the boys who pursued her were blown off by her!
As we talked, it was getting late, so we took a shower and went to sleep. I didn’t touch her that day because that wasn’t what I wanted to do with her, but I didn’t sleep all night. I felt so sad and so sorry for her. I couldn’t sleep at all. I kept thinking of her being abused… I didn’t dare to open my eyes… and then the day dawned…
(III) Marriage in March
Dawn came and I just spent the whole night in heartache, sighing and mourning her past, looking at her peacefully, it was hard to imagine how she had survived the previous days, and in my heart I really wished that I could stop her from enduring days of flesh and blood forever. ┅It was almost noon, but I couldn’t bear to call her until she opened her eyes and naturally hugged me, and she asked me why I was in the same position as last night before I went to bed. You didn’t sleep, did you? (As I was sitting beside her with a pillow behind my back), I couldn’t help but cry and said, ‘I really can’t sleep, I can’t stop thinking about how you were abused in the past, I can’t stop thinking about killing that bastard… I really regret that I met you so late in the day, that I couldn’t help you through it, and that I let that pervert ruin your life…’. She consoled me, saying, ‘That’s all behind me now, I’m free and I’m doing fine! Oh my God… do you call that good? I’d rather I didn’t have the chance to know the person I love than to have to live a life of selling my body! I thought to myself… I’m going to love her, and step by step, I’m going to help her to lead a better life, to protect her, and not to let her suffer any more… After a night of no sleep, I didn’t feel tired at all when I drove with her gentle companionship… I’m going to drive her home… I’m so excited because I can feel the distance between us getting shorter and shorter… Didn’t she say that she was going to buy a CD last night?
When the car arrived at the A-Go CD Store opposite Lai Lai Department Store on Zhongshan East Road in Taoyuan City, she asked me to wait for her. As soon as I got into the car, she said, ‘Here, this is a CD by Sandy Lam for you…’ Wow! I was so touched that the CD she wanted to buy last night was a gift for me! It was Sandy Lam’s ‘Scars’ album, a really great CD.
The car came to No. 4, Ming Shi Yuan on Ziqiang Road, which, as those of you who live in Taoyuan know, is across the street from Qingxi Junior High School, and it was in this apartment that most of my memories with her began. She asked me to go into her home with her. As soon as I entered, I saw two movie posters hanging on the wall… one of Mel Gibson’s “In This Life” and one of Keanu Levy’s “The Defenders”. But I don’t think she was the one who bought these posters (because I could tell she hated men), but there was a poster of Madonna lying on a bed naked with a cigarette in her mouth looking disdainful. I’m sure she bought it because it was somewhat indicative of her current state of mind.
In the living room, there was a white sofa, a TV with a small stereo and a small refrigerator… In her room, there was a piano, and a family photo on the desk attracted me to pick it up and look at it… There was also a writing brush on the desk, so it was obvious that she was in the habit of writing with the brush. She shared this four-room apartment with her best friend’s younger sister, Evening Regin… I’m afraid she couldn’t afford to rent it on a normal income… Alas… it seemed that the task was getting more difficult, as it was hard to change spending habits… When she played a few tunes for me, she asked me to sit next to her… As I was listening, I stood up and went behind her I got up and walked behind her because I was crying… I didn’t want to affect her mood, and I wondered in my heart why such a nice girl was so unfairly subjected to those things! I hugged her gently from behind… but my tears accidentally dripped onto her shoulder, and she turned to look at me and smiled, saying, ‘Are you being abused or am I? Why do you need me to comfort you? Don’t cry.’ She wiped away my tears… and said, ‘Let’s be happy together, shall we?’ I made an appointment with her for the day after tomorrow and left. Before I left, I asked her not to go back to work as much as possible, but she said she’d take care of it, and that she wanted to take a break… When I returned to Hsinchu, I didn’t sit around. I asked my good friend, who is a policeman, to find out the owner’s name from the number of the car she was driving… My friend said, “Is it a womanizer? If so, I’ll find out for you! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…
I found out the address of her hometown, an old family village in Turtle Mountain, about a three-minute drive from where she lived. She didn’t live there because she was afraid that that asshole would come to her house and take her away again… God forbid that such a person should be allowed to run around like that! She told me that when she fled home, she bought a dog named Happy, and she said to him, ‘I’ll never trust anyone again!
That’s why she’s always been mean to the many suitors she’s had over the last year or so, giving them the benefit of the doubt!
On this day, I went to her home with a bouquet of flowers. I never used to give flowers to girls, but I didn’t realize how much it had changed me, especially me. I used to hate seeing girls smoke! But now I was able to tolerate her smoking three packs of cigarettes a day, and everything she did… I knew I really meant it. We chatted happily all night long, singing songs and listening to her piano playing, which she did with such grace! It really made me love her even more… But I was also thinking about the realities of what I would do if I was with her and people around me found out that she was doing that kind of thing? If my parents found out, how would I explain? If I wanted to go into politics in the future, would that be my undoing? But my heart told me that I would give up politics for her, that I would ignore the gossip of my friends for her, and that I would even take her with me to live in the countryside to run a small business and become an ordinary citizen! As for my parents, I’m confident that I can get them to accept her because my parents have always been very supportive of all my decisions. I’m not someone who’s never been in love before, and I know that I don’t love her so much because of her looks, even if I did in the beginning, but that doesn’t matter now… because I don’t always want to do that kind of thing with her now… even though it’s related to her comment that she doesn’t like to have sex… at the moment, as long as I’m able to be with her, or if I find out that she didn’t go to work at the guesthouse for one day… again… I’m very happy! So I know I’m truly in love with her. Really, since she’s been dating me, she really hasn’t even been there yay!
That day, after taking a bath with her, I accompanied her to sleep, and she asked me to tell her fairy tales in her ear to help her sleep, seeing as she is usually so cool, I didn’t realize that she also has a childlike side, and I really like her!
The next day when I woke up it was close to noon, because we talked until three or four o’clock before going to bed, I hurried to call the company to explain some things, and my mobile phone is on 24 hours, so there is no urgent matter to find me. I asked her if you don’t have the habit of exercising in the morning. Because I want to adjust her routine first, he used to always go to work until four or five o’clock home, and then sleep until noon or afternoon, so of course they have been stuck in the nightlife! She said that sometimes she would go hiking early in the morning and then come back to bed. I said: ‘Then I’ll buy a set of sportswear and put it on your side, and if I can, I’ll come from Hsinchu early in the morning to go hiking with you!
She nodded, smiled and said, ‘Yes…’ Perhaps she was too embarrassed to refuse! Why? Read on to find out…
On this day, I went to Taipei for a meeting. It’s been the 15th day since our first date, and it’s been half a month since she actually went to work at that place, yay! On the way up to Taipei, I called her… she wasn’t at home, so I left a message on the answering machine saying that I would be coming over to her place tonight, and that we would go shopping for sportswear together, and ended the message after singing a song.
Around 6:00 p.m., I received a call from her and she wanted me to go now. I was having dinner with a friend at the time, and I didn’t wait for my meal to be served before I excused myself, because in my mind, no one was more important than her except my parents! Even myself… When I was about to get off the Taoyuan Interchange, I called her and told her, ‘Do you want to stop by and buy some gym clothes? It’s only 8:00. If you do, wait for me downstairs…’ She said, ‘Next time… I’d like to see you sooner…’ I was a little weirded out. I felt something strange in my heart… I think it was a sixth sense… No matter… Next time is next time!
It was a very romantic day… She waited for me in a sexy dress and asked me if I must be tired after a long day. She asked to bathe me. She took a brush and carefully scrubbed every part of my body, and asked me to stay in the bathroom and chat with her while she bathed… Oh, my God! She wanted me to give her a nosebleed right on the spot! Every move she made was etched in my mind… I still can’t forget it… She took one of her big shirts and let me use it as a nightgown, and she sprayed perfume on me. By the way, she loved perfumes, and she had so many… She asked me to sing to her, and casually picked up an album by Cynthia Yip, and sang it one song at a time… Oh, my God! I knew every single one of them! I’ve heard them all… but more than half of them I’ve never sung before… well… love has a way of stimulating potential! And here was the proof… After I had sung the entire album, she looked at me with surprise and said, ‘It’s strange… why is it that good-looking men don’t have a lot of substance, and men with substance aren’t very good-looking’ Wow… is that a compliment or a put-down? Should I be happy or sad? I hurriedly asked her, ‘So which one do you prefer? She said, ‘The latter, of course! Because the inside is permanent, and the outside is just temporary! Well… that was a good point, and I was relieved… We started talking about the future… She asked me: ‘Is it okay if we never get married like this? I said, ‘I’m an only child… it’s a bit difficult… Can you promise me you won’t do it? And
‘I hope to make it to my birthday next year (January 30, 1996) so I don’t have to do it…’
”Wow… do you have any goals?”
‘Yes… I want to buy a house… and live with my parents for the rest of my life… so I don’t plan to get married. Moreover, I know that I probably won’t be able to have any happiness in my life… I know that I’ve done a lot of things wrong in the past, but that’s irreparable, and it’s probably impossible for me to be a proper wife and mother… It’s impossible for me to forget the past… and I don’t want to live too long… if I didn’t still have my parents, I’d probably be gone already. But I want to have a child, but I don’t think I’m physically capable of doing so…”
I know there are a lot of contradictions in her heart, but from the time I know her until now, I have never heard her say the word contradictions! Maybe it’s deliberately hidden! Like when I said, ‘I love you’, she just wrote on my hand with her finger, ‘I love you too’, as if it was difficult for her to say it… I said, ‘I’m willing to marry you, and I don’t have any objection to our parents living together, so we can take care of you and my parents at the same time. We can take care of your parents and mine at the same time! And, if you really can’t have children, we can adopt! Anyway, I want to be with you forever, and I’m afraid you’ll have a bad time again…’ She hugged me, and it felt like she was hugging me helplessly, hugging me for fear of losing me… hugging me tightly…
The music was playing the song ‘Taste of Daigo’ from the album ‘Heartache’, which she said was her favorite song from her junior high school days, as if to tell me how she was feeling right now? Unconsciously, with her body language, I realized that she wanted something, that she could no longer suppress the desire that she had been withholding for so many days… After a while of lingering, she said softly, ‘Hubby… I want to…’ I said, ‘What did you say?
What did you just call me? She was a bit embarrassed and said, ‘Everyone else has a husband…’ I was really saddened to hear that, as such a beautiful girl deserved to be loved by someone. ”Alas…” I let out a long sigh and told her, ”I’m willing… to be your husband… will you call me that from now on?” She nodded. And so… we had sex for the first time in her place… She told me that the feeling of making love this time was unlike anything she had ever felt before, and that this time it was real sex for her, real sex with the person she loved…
After finishing, she got up naked and played the piano, over and over again… Her eyes became strange, and she kept squinting and looking thoughtful… I didn’t want to disturb her, but just listened quietly to her tunes.
The next morning, her roommate came back, and I knew that her roommate wasn’t really in favor of her being with me from the start, because it was obvious from the way she looked at me. Her roommate… Late Qin, was just 17 years old, but she had already worked as a princess in several hotels, and often changed bosses because she had a bad temper and often quarreled with her coworkers. When her roommate came back, I realized that her whole personality had changed. She told me to go away and not to come to her in the future because it would be bad luck to know her, and that I should only come to me as a normal friend, otherwise, you should not bother me anymore! It was a bit hard to face this drastic change… I didn’t know what I had done wrong?
But I had to go too, and I wondered, she’s testing my sincerity, isn’t she? How could she flip out so quickly? And I didn’t do anything wrong, did I? …
All these assumptions made me very uneasy along the way, I kept calling her on the way home, but she just wouldn’t pick up. Finally, after many calls, she answered: ‘We can’t be together! ‘Being with me is the beginning of your disaster! ‘I’m not a good woman, I’m rotten and cheap.’ ‘You made me lose a lot of money in the past half a month, do you know that?’ ‘I’m not as good as you think!’ ‘You don’t want to change me!’ ‘You don’t mind me now, but you’ll mind me in the future.’ ”No man in the world is good, don’t pretend!”
Oh, my God! …why? Why did you become like this? How did she become a different person? No wonder she said not to buy the gym clothes yet, it gave me a bad feeling… I felt like I was falling into an abyss in the face of this bolt from the blue… but I was not willing to give up! I would come back for her… I couldn’t watch her fall like this! Nothing is impossible, that’s my principle, I must do my best, and even if it’s useless, at least I must do my best to do right by her! I couldn’t just leave her and let her dig her own grave! …even though she insisted on destroying herself ！！！！ As the title suggests: If a plum blossom can bloom in March, what can’t you and I overcome?
(IV) My heart is engraved in your heart.
I have never been able to accept that she has changed so much overnight! I remember a few days ago, she brought home a video of me hosting a program and showed it to her family. She said that her parents thought that I was quite popular, that I wasn’t a bad guy, that I was a good talker on TV, and that I would be a good match for them, and even said that her sister gave her a strange look and said, ‘Well… that’s quite unusual! She smiled coyly at this, with a look of shyness at having her heart read… How could it be that in just a few days, she had become so callous as to end all the good things between us? I wasn’t deterred by this sudden shock. I knew that if I gave up on her, I would regret it for the rest of my life for not giving it my best shot, and I knew that the chances of meeting someone as true to her as I was would be very slim if I missed out!
I still called her every day, leaving “95-0314-512” = “I love you on 3/14/95” on the dialer. Most of the calls were not answered by her. Most of the calls were not answered by her, but by another roommate, Evening Harvest. Evening Harvest always insulted me in a very nonchalant tone, even exporting the Three Character Sutra! Sometimes when she couldn’t take it anymore, she would snatch the phone out of Evening’s hands and tell me not to call again! It was impossible between us! I don’t blame Late Ching, after all, she’s still young, she went to work in a hotel when she was seventeen, and once she was almost raped by a Taoyuan County public opinion representative, so it’s understandable that she’d be so bad-tempered and mean to people. I tried to find out the phone number of Siaoling’s old home in the Turtle Mountain Family Village, because almost every night she would come home for dinner to put her family’s mind at ease, but of course, her family had no idea what she was actually doing for work right now.
I remembered that she had told me the names of her entire family, including her parents, her brother and her sister, and I also knew that her father’s factory was in Xinzhuang. I couldn’t find her family’s phone number from 105, but luckily I found a phone number that was in her father’s name and located in a factory in Xinzhuang. When I called on that day, it was her father who answered the phone, and I purposely said that I was looking for her younger brother, who was of course not at the factory, which gave me the reason to ask Her family’s unlisted phone number gave me one more channel to contact her. However, I couldn’t call this number easily because I was afraid that she would be even more distant from me because she was worried that I might accidentally let her family know that she was working as a call girl.
Just two days after I found out her home phone number, the phone number of the place where she rented a house became empty! I panicked, but immediately went to the Taoyuan Telecommunications Bureau on the same day, pretending to apply for a phone. We know that when applying for a phone you can either ask for a number or accept the number assigned by the Telecommunications Bureau. I asked for the number that would be assigned to the current application, then extended the search by 100 numbers, then copied down all the numbers that were currently available for selection, which was about 100 numbers, making a total of more than 300 numbers, and analyzed and recorded them on my computer at home, trying to track down and filter out her new application, but of course, no matter how careful I was, I still had to rely on luck for some of them, for example, if she didn’t have a phone… but I could only I had no choice but to do my best.
I made these hundreds of calls every day, children, old people, men, companies, etc… I deleted these calls one by one, making a record of every call to each number, and just after a week I made thousands of calls, which narrowed me down to two dozen or so, knowing that there was a possibility that the real number was accidentally deleted by me, but I was still confident that I would be able to find it. The big deal was finding it from the beginning. Just five days after she changed her phone, she started calling me almost every day, but just wouldn’t give me her phone number or meet with me, only talk to me on the phone.
I went to the Hongmen Hotel every couple of days to see if she was still there. Sometimes two or three times a day, sometimes at midnight, and sometimes on purpose I asked a friend to call the manager of the hotel to see if she’d shown up but fortunately, she never did
Until one day, the manager of the hotel called my friend to inform her that she was coming back to work! Disappointed, I drove there right away, and when the manager saw me coming (because she had told the manager she didn’t want to see me again), he immediately said, ‘Siau Ling didn’t show up, do you want me to introduce you to a better qualified girl? As I was speaking, I saw a figure moving around in the girls’ lounge, and I said: ‘Then let me go in and choose! The manager firmly refused, I said: ‘Then I will rest in the room, see if she will come later.’ The manager saw that my mind was made up, so he could only let me.
After I entered the room, I hid by the door to monitor the entrance and exit of the elevator, and in a short while I noticed her tiptoeing out, looking cautious, and looking up to see me watching her from a short distance away! When she saw me, she was so surprised that she immediately ran down the security elevator! By this time the hotel’s bodyguards were also coming up, and I realized from the fierce look in their eyes that I had to leave in a hurry as well. As I stepped out, her car was gone… I knew I’d lost her…
However, thankfully, she hasn’t gone to Hongmen since then, and even triggered the hotel manager to call and threaten me, saying that she would seek revenge on me in Hsinchu! I scolded her back for being a dehumanized rotten bastard who earns this kind of money to do it! Beware of retribution in the next generation! If you want to come to Hsinchu to find me, I’ll be there anytime. I don’t believe I’ll be afraid of you in Hsinchu!
The following are the three letters I wrote to her after I went home that time. When I sent the third letter, I also bought her a CD of Jacky Cheung’s “You Love Him” album: “You Love Him”, “You Love Me”, “You Love Me”, “You Love Me”, “You Love Me”, “You Love Me”, “You Love Me”.
┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅ First letter.
Mrs. B..
You’re such a useless person. You have to use your brain to make money, not this way. Do you know how many times you have to do this to reach your goal? 3,500 times! There are all kinds of lousy, unhygienic people in a place like that, and it’s disappointing that someone as classy as you is willing to put up with it!
I must see that you stop doing this kind of thing, even if you don’t understand me for the rest of your life, and I’m sure that when your good life comes, you’ll naturally come to your senses and naturally thank me.
No matter what misunderstandings you have about me, no matter what concerns you have, it’s really too much for you to turn your back on me like this, causing me to be distracted all day long, do you have to torment someone like this in order to be balanced when you love them?
No matter how rotten or cheap you think you are, in my mind you will always be the most perfect and classy woman, it’s just that you don’t want to face the real you.
Although you only call me your husband for one day, in this life, you will always be my wife and wife in my heart.
If you really don’t love me anymore, I’m willing to fuck off as long as you don’t do that kind of thing again (it’s painful, but it’s worth it).
Can you please think back again to the happy times we had together? The sweetness and warmth when I sang you a song by Cynthia Yip, the silly way I fried roti for you, the way I thought of your past and cried with you when I was sad, the happy memories we had together… have you forgotten all of them? Are you really so heartless to give up?
Did you forget that you said there was a lot between us that you’d never felt before?
Have you forgotten that you said it’s good luck for pigs and goats to go together?
Have you forgotten that you once said that people like me are the kind you really appreciate?
Did you forget you said you’d introduce me to your sister and her boyfriend?
Did you forget you said you had to eat to see how good my mom’s dumplings really are?
Did you forget you said you wanted me to look at houses and kill prices for you?
Did you forget you said we’d start a business together?
Did you forget you said you’d record “Deja Vu” for me?
Have you forgotten that you wrote the words “My heart is the same” on me?
Have you forgotten what we agreed to call each other from now on?
Have you really forgotten everything you’ve ever said to me?
Is there any other man in the world who cares about you, who cares more about you than I do?
Why is it that after just one day, your attitude towards me has changed so much that I don’t know what to do?
I really can’t imagine a day without hearing from you.
Why give up happiness that you can grab?
A man can recognize anything in life, but he cannot recognize his destiny!
I hope you take care of yourself before you let me come back to you.
I will wait for you, I will wait until you are willing to let me come back to you again, and please believe me that I don’t care about all the unfortunate things that have happened to you, because the torment of these last few days, the torment that has driven me almost crazy, has made me certain that you will be the one I will always love dearly in this life.
┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅ The second letter: at that time I had a big car accident, the car was almost totaled, but the person was unhurt, and she also had a disease, so I also sent a book to her by the way. A book about starting a small business.
I’m sorry! Please forgive me for not being able to deliver this in person as my transportation was half destroyed due to a car accident.
May the book bring about a lifetime of transformation for you, and please do ask any questions you may have while reading it.
And I hope you’ll read it with all your heart.
May your phoenix body recover soon!
┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅ The third letter: I also attached Jacky Cheung’s CD to this letter to her, I did not realize that the music of this CD became the key for me to find out her phone number in the future. These days, she still calls me every two or three days, but still doesn’t want to meet me.
Mrs. B..
Are you feeling better? I wish I could see you sooner. I wonder if you’re doing well? Are you happy? In fact, I didn’t want to quarrel with Evening Harvest that day, but she spoke so harshly, and you are the only one in the world who can scold me like that. I have my own self-respect, and it’s fine for you to talk about me in any way you want, but I can’t allow it for anyone else. But I apologized to her the next day, and I promise you that I will not quarrel with her and make you feel bad in the future, and I will do it for you completely.
I believe you know in your own heart, in fact, what you need most at present is not money, but other people’s sincere love and care for you, only you have never had the courage to accept it. On the surface you think you have escaped from the clutches of that pervert, but in reality you are still living under its shadow and in the insatiable dream. And that’s what makes you willing to do this kind of thing to get by. Because you will only think of comparing with the previous horrible days, now it is much better, so you can see that your mental disorder has not been cured at all, you and your psychiatrist have not cured your disease at all. Are your so called good days still so miserable! Why do you have to be so stupid to keep comparing the inhumane life you had in the past with the life you have now! Isn’t this living in the shadow of the past? Obviously there are good days to live, obviously can be a very legitimate person, rare to have a person who loves you so deeply! But you have to give up all of them, and so degrade yourself, and waste your only youth, not to mention whether it is worthy of your parents and family, but just to yourself is not good enough.
I agree with you when you emphasize that you are filial, but have you ever thought that what you are doing now is simply too sorry for your father who has nurtured, loved and cultivated you since you were a child and is now seriously ill? Even if he never knows what he’s doing, will you be able to live with it forever? Can you live in a house bought with this kind of money? It’s just a house that brings together all these miserable days, and it will only make your past misery and present darkness even more difficult to get rid of. Isn’t it self-deception to do something you know you will regret in the future? Please think about it again. Your father raised you to such a high standard both internally and externally, would he be willing to let you grow up to do such a thing? And given your father’s personality, if he knew, would his body be able to withstand it?
How are you going to handle yourself if you’re recognized when you walk outside!
I said some words that you may not want to hear, maybe you will hate me, but as long as I can make you realize in time, what is the regret! In this life, I always have to do something meaningful for you, otherwise how can I be worthy of you who once treated me with such dedication. Let bygones be bygones, but don’t miss out on everything you have the chance to have now, including me! Please overcome the devil in your heart, I will walk with you, please cherish it!
I hope you can give me a chance to tell you my business experience, business is really not difficult, I have two construction companies for the establishment of the experience of their own current also opened two companies, I believe that you start your own business in terms of, should be a little help, I hope that you can take advantage of the self-creation of the due future, you should have a day, live with dignity days, I will be by your side to continue to support you, cheering for you! I hope to see you living a normal life soon.
Will you please turn back in time? Before it gets too serious. Can you turn around now? These days you’ve made me suffer enough, I really don’t care about my career anymore, but if I really need to give my career away, I have no complaints, I just hope you can realize it earlier and listen to me. It doesn’t matter if I can start my career all over again.
I do not believe that you no longer love me, you are simply deceiving yourself, I know that you do not dare to face me, do not dare to let me go to the hotel there, because you are not sure that you and I together, you will not be softened by me, so you have to avoid it. I can see that in your closed heart still have my feelings exist, just contradictory antagonistic psychology, let you temporarily so treat me. I believe that this situation will not be long, I will wait patiently, although bitter, but for you, I am worth it. Who asked me to love you so much, even if you are scolded so hard to hear, but fortunately I am quite confident in myself, so do not have to go to see a psychiatrist.
I am so to you, perhaps in your eyes, in the eyes of the evening clear, in the eyes of others is a fool, fool a, but I think everyone has his obsession with people and things, I both deeply love you, all of you, when there is a responsibility to go to you to share your worries and relief, you are wrong should be reminded of you, otherwise how to qualify to say that love you! Therefore, even if you are treated as a fool, you are scolded so harshly, still can face it openly. Don’t forget that I still owe you the song “Fly For Love”! By the way, when we meet next time, I’ll sing the new party song for you again. It’s actually quite good, but I was so nervous last time you asked me to sing it that I forgot the lyrics, so please give me another chance.
Do you still have a chance to sing for you? There’s a song called “Rosaline”. I don’t know if you’ve heard it. It’s been a favorite song of mine for fifteen years, but I’m disappointed that it’s not available in karaoke, but if I were to sing it, I don’t think it would be too bad. I hope I’ll have the chance to sing it to you, because, coincidentally, the mood of the song is very much in line with the mood I’m in right now. This is also a very beautiful melody song, with your musical attainments, I think you will agree, but I am afraid that I will sing it to the bad. I hope Jacky Cheung’s “You Love Him” will be a good one.
The album can replace me to accompany you during this period of your illness, so that your body can recover soon, play the song ‘Deja Vu’ to me, and go to climb the Tiger Hill Park together.
I wish you a speedy recovery to start your own business so that the people who love you most can come back to you (haha.)! That’s me!)
┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅ Just as I was at a stalemate in checking her phone, three of the less than twenty remaining calls were always answering machines, and because of her habit of using answering machines, I paid special attention to these three calls! In the past, she always used her words as quotes on the answering machine, but these three phones were either filled with music or voices recorded by men, until one day Jacky Cheung’s music came on one of the phones I called! My heart was shaken… I didn’t think I’d found it, did I? Then I made this phone call a priority and went to my friend’s house in Taoyuan one day to ask her to leave a message and ask her to call me back. Although my friend said she hung up after calling the wrong number… two short sentences were enough for me to be sure it was her!
I didn’t rush to let her know… These days, she was still proudly calling and chatting with me, not realizing that I had her number! One day she called to tell me that Ching was hospitalized at Chang Gung for an operation on her ear. I asked her about her favorite flowers and immediately ran from Hsinchu to Chang Gung to send her flowers in my name and in her name, but I didn’t go into the hospital room, so for fear of upsetting her I asked the nurse to pass them on to her, and signed the card with the names of Siao-Ling and her husband, wishing her a speedy recovery… On the way home I received a cell phone call from her. She called to thank me for the flowers I’d sent to Ching, and said that Ching had called her as soon as she received them! That’s why I found out so quickly… I could feel how touched she was, and I felt that it was worth all the hard work and suffering she had gone through to be touched by her!
One afternoon she called and told me she was getting married in Kaohsiung! This sudden shock left me speechless for a long time. I was so sad that I couldn’t speak, and she told me to find a nice girl in the future, that she wasn’t worth the trouble of waiting for her…. After wishing her well, I hung up the phone… because I really couldn’t speak anymore… So I hung up the phone and walked helplessly to the balcony of my office on the 9th floor. I felt that my life was very boring, and I looked at the statue of the God of Guan Gong on the far side of the valley, and silently wished her a happy life… An hour passed before I knew it… and I kept on thinking about all the memories I had of her… and I started to cry… and worry again Whether that man would treat her well… Suddenly… the phone rang again, and it was her! She heard my nasal voice and asked me if I was sad. I didn’t say anything, at which point she burst out laughing! She told me that she had lied to me! My heart immediately climbed back up from the bottom… You’re really bad! You’re so bad! Why did you tease me like that? She said she wouldn’t do it again… Forgive me… Oh my God!
Of course I’m willing to forgive you! Then she told me that she took out her birth control device, in other words, she wasn’t going to do that kind of work anymore! Wow! What a surprise! At one moment I was devastated, and at the next I was pleasantly surprised! I was really ecstatic… My first step was successful! But she said she’d been bleeding abnormally for the past few days, and there were many signs of cervical cancer. I’d been worried about her, and she said she wouldn’t know until she’d been there for half a month, and she didn’t dare to tell her family, saying… she didn’t want to die of it, it would be embarrassing. As many women in the business died of cervical cancer, I reassured her that she was overly concerned… but I was even more anxious!
Ever since I found out her number, I’ve spent every day repressing the urge to call her, but knowing that she’s been bleeding abnormally, I couldn’t care less… One day I called her in her sleep, and I could feel the look on her face when she received my call, and she asked me how I’d found out about it. I told her the whole story, but she only said, ‘You’re so dedicated… I don’t think… I’ll ever be able to get rid of you again…’ I told her, ‘Why would I ever want to leave you… I’m so relieved! Naturally, she understood that I was checking the phone.
June 2… Maybe it’s because people with illnesses are more fragile! She called me at noon that day and said she wanted to see me and have coffee with me, and we went to a restaurant in a wealthy garden. She hadn’t seen me for a month and a half and had lost a lot of weight, perhaps because of her illness, but it didn’t stop her from having a striking figure. That day, she was wearing a low-cut black dress, which contrasted sharply with her snow-white skin, and it was really… fascinating… She told me that she was coming to Hsinchu the day after tomorrow to find a friend who wanted to return something to her. Of course, I didn’t want to miss this opportunity, so I asked her to come to me when she was finished and she asked me to take her to that person because she didn’t know Hsinchu very well, so of course I was willing to do that!
On June 4, we met in front of the Hsinchu Interchange, I put my car next to the interchange, and when I got into her car, I said, ‘Which way is your friend’s place?’ She said she didn’t know. She said she didn’t know, and I said, “Well, how are you going to find it? She said: ‘Then you can take it to him for me.’ I said: ‘You do not know, how can I know?’ She said: ‘No matter, something in the drawer of the car, you take it out to see! I picked it up and saw that it was a videotape of my program…! It turned out that she had come all the way here to see me today! There was also a bottle of men’s perfume, priced at about $2,000, a very expensive bottle of perfume. I was really surprised and couldn’t help but kiss her, and she didn’t resist. I knew she was back in my arms… Anyone who lives in Hsinchu knows that there’s not much to do in Hsinchu, but when I got to the intersection of Xidaji Road and Beidaji Road, there was a procession to welcome the goddesses, and when she saw the procession, she almost jumped up and down in the car in excitement! She was like a little kid. It was so cute! She said she had never seen such a lively scene before, and immediately asked me to switch to the driver’s seat so she could enjoy it! I deliberately drove the car to the side of the parade, so that she could see more clearly, her march is really too good to drill, always driving 2,000 cc cars, I feel even more comfortable driving! Through the window to welcome the God’s procession, see her expression, also feel very funny, also laughed, because she feels like a “city hick”, probably the city is used to living, see this kind of welcome to the God’s event with children like jumping! I said, ‘If you like to see it, wait for the Mid-Yuan Festival in the seventh month of the Lunar Calendar, it will be the most lively time, unlike today when there are only seven or eight masters and stilt walkers, and there are many floats too! We made a promise that she would come to Hsinchu to watch the festivities during the Mid-Yuan Festival.
In the afternoon I took her to a real estate pre-sale case that my company received, that is in Xiangshan, more mountainous, when the car traveled to the reception center, she did not want to get off the car to see my colleagues, and the eyes are very scary, and do not want to talk much, I asked her: ‘What’s wrong? I asked her: ‘What’s wrong?’ She said: ‘What’s wrong? If you have been held hostage more than once in the mountains, will you still like to go to such places?’ I know that I brought her here again caused her painful memories, I do not dare to ask her what happened after being held hostage in the mountains, I know that I would not be better off to hear, I quickly drove away from the mountains, to the Nationality Road, “the real pot of coffee”.
We chatted a lot, and then she suddenly asked if there were any fortune tellers in Hsinchu, and I told her that they were in Hukou, and we immediately got up and went there. During the fortune-telling, she deliberately said she was doing it for a friend, but it was her birth date, and some of the results were accurate and some were not, and she specifically asked if she would get married. The fortune teller said that in about three years, the stars will be moving; she asked: ‘Then this object has already known? I was in a cold sweat over the answer! She said, ‘I’ve already met him…’ I was so relieved… Since the fortune-teller spoke Taiwanese, we spent the whole way back to Hsinchu learning the way the fortune-teller told her fortune in Taiwanese… Heh… We laughed all the way back to Hsinchu, and my stomach hurt from laughing so hard!
Back to Hsinchu also more than six o’clock, she came to have said seven o’clock to rush back to Taoyuan, because there is a person about to go with her to Carrefour to buy things, so I do not dare to stay long she, but when the car to drive to the interchange parking place on the way, she saw the Empire Xinxiang building on the second floor of the Yue Inn Hong Kong-style drinking tea, she proposed to go up to eat dinner, I said: ‘that friend of yours? I said, ‘What about your friend? She said she didn’t really want to go. Halfway through the meal, the caller kept ringing, she borrowed my cell phone to call back, I heard the other party insisted on waiting until she, I saw her very impatient with him to hang up the phone, she told me that the man she can not stand, often in her home downstairs, waiting for ten hours, so she really annoyed! But she emphasized to me that there was no such relationship between her and him. I thought to myself: I’m willing to believe you, even if you have no explanation.
After dinner, we came to my parking place and had to say goodbye. I asked her to take care of herself on the way, and I said thank you for this (I pointed to the videotape to thank her for bringing it back to me in person)…thank you for this (I pointed to the perfume that she had given me)…thank you for this (I gently tapped her on the head to say thank you for coming to see me). I added, ‘Don’t call anyone your husband! She replied, ‘I’ve only ever called two people my husband: that pervert and you.’ I wanted to kiss her goodbye, but because of the traffic on the interchange and the brightness… I gave up. After I urged her to let me know as soon as her medical report came out, I watched her walk away.
Looking at her in her small car and thinking about her tragic past, even though her car was in a line of cars, I felt so sad that she was so lonely. Even when I went to see ‘100,000 Miles Home’ last month, the scene where the little girl in her small light airplane landed alone at the end of the day made me think of her in her small car, sailing alone and helpless in the midst of an unforgiving and dangerous sea of people, relying on herself for everything. I feel so sad and upset when I think of this. I always wished that I could be by her side for the rest of my life to protect her…
I got a call from her this day and the doctor said she didn’t have cervical cancer but couldn’t check what it was either, but at least it was a relief. I went to her place to see her, chatting, chatting about when she went to the second time after the nose surgery (because her first nose surgery failed, to do the second time has fled home), she said that when she returned home, the suture line has a section left outside, her sister saw it thought it was the nose hairs, and also asked her, ‘sister, your nose hairs are so long, why don’t you cut it? ‘ She said she didn’t even dare to talk about it because she was afraid her family would find out and worry about her.
After a few days, she told me that she was going to have her teeth done. Sixteen of her teeth were fake, and most of them were near the outside front part, and all of them had to be done every one to two years, and each time it would cost tens of thousands of dollars. I asked her how that happened. She replied that it was because she had taken too many antibiotics since she was a child and it had all fallen off. To be honest… I didn’t quite believe her, but she kept telling me not to think too much about it and emphasized that she wasn’t lying to me. When I went back to Hsinchu and asked the dentist about it, the doctor said there was no such thing, which I found even stranger, but it didn’t matter why… I just hoped that she wouldn’t be subjected to any more torture in the future!
I hugged her that night and told her, ‘Don’t ignore me like you did before, okay? It made me very sad.’ She said, ‘I won’t do that to you again… absolutely not. She said, ‘I won’t treat you like that again… absolutely not.’ She hugged me even more tightly… so tightly. I told her, ‘It’s fine if you don’t want us to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but I want you to treat me as a good friend. Okay?’ She said, ‘You are my best and only good friend, I have no other good friend that I can trust.’ She said: ‘You are my best and only friend, I don’t have any other good friend I can trust.’ She said: ‘I will never meet anyone in my life who is better than you are to me! , ‘I’m afraid I can’t get rid of you in my life!’ … (V) Forever Remembering the Tangled Green Streams
And so, with our hearts bound together, and with the promise that she would never treat me the way she had before, we began our second relationship.
The New Maple Grove Tea House at the intersection of Ziqiang and Sanmin Road was our favorite place to go. We would sit there all evening or afternoon, and we had endless conversations, but no matter how much we talked, I believe that both of us still had inexplicable worries about the future….
One day, we went to a coffee house on Jingguo Road and she was the first to arrive. Have you seen the low-cut, backless dress that Robert Redford gave to Demi Moore in “The Sex Trade”? She was wearing that type of dress that day. At first, I didn’t really care, but as I was talking to her, I always wondered why the men at the tables behind her kept looking at her… Later, she suggested that she would treat me to a steak at Formosa Steakhouse on Zhongshan Road. I had to drive, so I left first, and she paid for the meal… I have to point out that when I went out with her, she almost always paid for the meal. It’s not that I don’t pay, it’s that she insists… It’s not that I can’t afford it, but maybe she doesn’t want me to feel like she’s treating me like a rich man, so she doesn’t let me spend much money on anything except for gifts, but I have to go along with her insistence because she’s very short-tempered, and I don’t want to upset her too much, so I do what she asks me to do. So, who says that the woman of the world has no true feelings? It’s just that there are fewer of them, but you can’t take that as the truth and knock them over! It’s not fair… After ordering my meal at Formosa Steak, I got up and went to the restroom behind her, and when I came back, it dawned on me why those men had been staring at her behind her back! It turned out that because her breasts were large and firm with little fabric, and because she couldn’t wear any underwear in this backless dress, she had half the depth of her “pecs” on her sides
It was very clear to see! Combined with the snow-white skin, even the veins were clearly visible! No wonder those men look like they have a nosebleed waiting to happen! I told her to be careful when she comes out in the future. It’s okay to come out with me, at least I will protect you and take the initiative to help you pay attention, but if you are going out alone, don’t dress like this, because it’s just a “self-made” crisis!
In telling this story, I am not flaunting her figure, but reminding girls that they should be able to recognize the occasion in respect of their appearance and avoid bringing crises to themselves because of what they wear, and that they should not think that they look so safe that when they come across perverted people, the old woman will not be spared either! Among the many reasons why women are sometimes subjected to sexual violence, negligence in prevention is also a major factor.
We drank at all the famous coffee shops in the Taoyuan area. She liked to read horoscope reports while drinking coffee, and my interest in horoscopes was also cultivated at that time.
One day, in a magazine, she saw a newly released lingerie, and she told me she loved that style… That’s right! I bought it for her the next day! I didn’t know how much I could bring her, but I just hoped that I could bring her as much joy as I could… I just hoped that I could do my best… as much as I could! Even if it means my life… as a last resort! I’m really willing! On that day, the results of my AIDS test came out, and in fact I was prepared for the fact that I wouldn’t blame her even if I got AIDS!
Because the day I decided to fall in love with her, I thought of the worst, I just want to do my best to let her live a good life, to protect her, no longer let her live a life without dignity. Relieved by the test results, I said to her: “From now on, if you don’t have it, I won’t have it”! …meaning that I will never have sex with anyone… except her! Of course, on the other hand, it also implied that she would be able to be faithful to me as well.
In order to be by her side all the time, I even left the affairs of the company in the hands of the partners, and I went to Taoyuan to look for a job, with my experience to find a job is too simple, I was selected as a real estate agent of Xinyi Housing with very high grades, one morning, that day was Sunday, I got up and had to go to the head office of Xinyi Housing in Taipei Dunhua South Road to do the interview, I took a good bath, straightened up my appearance, put on a tie, I looked at her in her sleep, I really could not bear to wake her up. I couldn’t bear to wake her up as I watched her sleeping, but even though she knew that I had to go to Taipei the next morning and that I would be back in time for lunch, I still wrote her an intimate note and left it on her bedside. Before I left, I looked at her pretty face and couldn’t help but kiss her gently, but I didn’t realize that as soon as she opened her eyes, she hugged me tightly, and I was shocked by the suddenness of this… I thought that she was waking up from a nightmare again! I thought she’d woken up from another nightmare. As I asked her, she said, ‘I think you look so handsome! I can’t help but hug you… Oh… I really feel warm inside! I kissed her for a while before getting up and leaving… Oh, my God… it had only been five hours… and I was already so attached to her… I see.
When I went to the interview, because of my eloquence, speech and experience, plus I also hosted the TV call in live program, the reaction was not bad, so when I interviewed, the company responsible for interviewing the supervisor was even a little embarrassed to say: as if I was interviewing him instead of him interviewing me. My fluent answers and analysis of things made the supervisor seem to only nod frequently, causing him to be at a loss as to what to say to me in a more profound way. After I returned to Taoyuan, I told her about the interview, and the two of us had a good laugh. However, I had to give up the job because Xinyi Housing wanted me to work at their Hsinchu store first. So then we decided to start a small business together… I’ll tell you more about that later.
I briefly recounted the three movies we watched and her reaction… When we watched the cartoon movie Pocahontas, I told her, “I’m like the officer, and you’re like the princess… We’re just like how they could never have met, but had this chance, and let’s cherish it while we still have control over our destinies”. For her, who was reluctant to admit that she was a boyfriend and girlfriend, all she could do was to smile and nod her head…
After we watched Hero’s Duty, she came home and told me that she couldn’t stop seeing the spirit of the heroine (his late wife) walking through the crowd as Mel Gibson was being executed! Frankly speaking, I am not being paranoid, but I could sense that it was a projection of her inner darkness, as the shadows of her past were always lingering in her mind, so she tended to be in a low mood… I am sure that those who are more familiar with psychology should have no difficulty in understanding this….
The third movie we watched was the third episode of Ultimate Detective, in which there was a cigarette-chomping, cool lady killer wasn’t there? Whenever the movie came to her, she couldn’t help but compliment the actress on how cool she looked! In fact, she’s usually that cool! It’s not an exaggeration. Remember in the first episode, when I told you how I felt when I first saw her? I almost wanted to replace her, right? In fact, she’s always been very grumpy, I must admit that, I can’t only describe her good side, but I think it’s justifiable that she’s like that, after all, her past is so tragic, and because she suffered so much for the sake of the family, she has no one in the family who dares to interfere with her in any way! I narrate the plot of watching these three movies so that the impression of the outline of her spiritual side can be more impressive!
She told me to go back to Hsinchu to take care of my career, and asked me to adapt to not contacting her every day, not having to see her every day, and encouraged me to prepare myself for my future campaign. But on the other hand, I could also feel the contradiction in her expectations, because she said she didn’t want me to get strange looks because of her, not to mention after becoming a public figure. I also told her that I could change my volunteerism for her sake, but she refused and told me to make the best of it. Although we agreed not to contact each other every day, we switched to her calling me every single day, and every single day around 3:00 p.m. she would call and ask me to go to Taoyuan for coffee. One time when I was buying a book for her at Jinshidang Bookstore, she happened to call me on my cell phone, so we picked out her favorite book and talked on the phone while we bought it, which was a very romantic feeling. I picked up the book and introduced the general content to her, and then she decided whether or not to buy it, which was a very special experience of buying a book.
One night, when she had to go back home for dinner and I agreed to wait for her at her place, I, being the only son at home and having never done any housework, on the spur of the moment tidied up her bedroom very neatly and folded the quilt like the tofu quilts used in the army. When she came back, I knew she was so touched that she didn’t even want to move the quilt.
She loved Akagawa Jiro’s mystery novels and perfumed lilies… One day, she asked me to help her find the soundtrack to the movie “Scent of a Woman”, and she said that she couldn’t find it in any of the record stores. That night, I bought three books of Akagawa Jiro’s mystery novels at the bookstore, and ordered a bouquet of her favorite perfumed lilies from Taoyuan. I gave the CDs and the books to the florist to pass on to her, and I drove back to Hsinchu immediately. I put a piece of printed text on the cover of one of the books, which I designed with my computer artwork, and it reads: a. Mature in thought b. Correct in conception c. Not macho (when appropriate) d. Objective and fair e. Healthy f. Humorous g. Unconcerned with trivialities h. Considerate and gentle i. Affectionate j. Sense of justice k. Diligent and thrifty l. Trustworthy m. Righteous n. Sense of duty o. upright p. filial q. sincere r. intelligent s. no bad habits t. a kind heart u. responsive v. eloquent w. work with determination and perseverance to the end x. excellent memory y. efficient z. a very progressive heart
Sorry! The English mother tongue has been used up, so I won’t write about the other advantages.
I called her on the way home and she surprised me: thank you very much, this is the best thing I’ve seen today, these three things are my very favorite, thank you very much.
I told her: I want to prove that even though I live in Hsinchu, my efficiency is no worse than that of the suitors in the Taoyuan area! She laughed and said she was sure of it. Perhaps it was because my sticker was so nicely printed that she never noticed it, but I couldn’t resist reminding her to look at it, and she was surprised when she said she had thought it was part of the cover… Oh… She picked up the book and read it from a… g… r until she was sorry! I’m sorry, but I’ve run out of English textbooks, so I won’t write down the other advantages… I told her that she could refute any discrepancies or exaggerations, and I could tell from her reaction that she strongly agreed that I had those strengths! I told her that I really wanted to deliver it in person, but I had to get used to not having to see her every day, so I had to leave it to the florist to deliver it to her.
Another time, at her place, she took a music magazine and told me that there was a CD of one of Mary Holiday’s albums that she didn’t know if it was still available in Taiwan, because there weren’t a lot of imports and it was really hard to find. I told her that I would try my best to get it as soon as possible, but I couldn’t guarantee that I would be able to get it soon. We had a bit of a rough time that night, though, and I went back to Hsinchu in a not-so-pleasant atmosphere. The next day, I drove to Taipei and parked my car near the interchange, exchanging money for time, because parking is hard to find in Taipei, and I probably couldn’t get to many stores in a day by myself, so I took a taxi to all the major record stores in Taipei to look for the CD, and I searched all the major record stores, and some of them hadn’t even heard of the CD, and after a whole day of running around, I finally found the CD, which wasn’t in the locker, in the Zhongxiao store of the Taoye Music City. In the process, I spent almost two thousand dollars just before taking a taxi. I spent almost two thousand dollars on the cab ride alone, but I was still happy because I knew I could put last night’s unpleasantness behind me and surprise her again with this CD! I drove up to her apartment and asked her to come down outside her room window with the sign of a lucky cat… I was still a bit scared to go up to her because of yesterday’s unpleasantness. I didn’t expect her to ask me to come down with the same gesture… After a while there was a stalemate, I thought to myself, “I’d better go up there before she changes her mind”! When she saw that I had gone to great lengths to get her the CD she had been looking for the next day, I knew she was really touched, and I told her that because of the fight last night, I had pushed myself to get it today so that I would have a reason to come to Taoyuan to see you today… I sometimes contacted her sister privately, without letting her know, just in case. One day, my sister told me that her sister said that I was the only man who had ever convinced her of the many suitors she’d had since she was a child, and the only one she’d ever listened to, and her sister even asked her, “So, what do you think are his flaws? Her sister even asked her, “What do you think are his flaws?” She, who has always been picky about men, told her sister, “I’m trying to find out what his flaws are!
Her sister told me about these things and encouraged me to make the most of it, as these reactions are unprecedented for her sister! I’m very hopeful to be her sister in law and told me to make the best of it!
Because she used to have nightmares, she often had the habit of taking sleeping pills, and she once almost drowned in the bathtub because of them!
June 26, 1995, I remember that day just Yuanshan Hotel fire, that night we were going to date, but in my car to Jhongli, she called me to apologize, because she was in a bad mood to cancel tonight’s date, of course, I do not dare to reluctance, so in the urge, I from the Jhongli Interchange back to Hsinchu. At two o’clock in the middle of the night, I received a phone call from her, she said on the phone that she could not sleep and wanted to talk to me, I really missed her, and then I proposed that I go to her now, after she agreed, I quickly arrived at her home. That night, I knew that she had taken sleeping pills, and as she hated sex, she had sex with me without realizing it… At the beginning, I even asked her, “You didn’t have sex with me because you were delirious from the sleeping pills, did you? If it wasn’t your wish, I’d rather not do it! She told me: Don’t say anything to ruin the mood when you’re doing this kind of thing. I think she was sober, wasn’t she? We didn’t use birth control that day, and afterward she asked me if I wasn’t afraid she’d get pregnant. I told her: I want you to have a child for me. …. As a matter of fact, she was very fond of children, and she had told me that she would like to have a child, but she was worried that she was not physically capable of doing so.
I think it was June 28th! That night I spent the night at her place, she also took sleeping pills that night, but still couldn’t sleep the whole night, then at 3 o’clock in the middle of the night we went out to have a snack and buy some snacks and medicines, maybe it’s because of the effect of the pills that caused the real her to be revealed completely, that night she was surprisingly gentle, holding my hand tightly all the way, a kind of bird-like appearance, which is completely different from the usual cool face she seems to have! We also bought a pregnancy test.
When we got home, she couldn’t sleep, so she read, got up to play the piano, or just chatted with me, and I stayed up with her all night. Soon it was dawn… I told her about our lovemaking the night before, but to my surprise, she told me that she really had no memory of it at all! I said, ‘Then I’m no different from raping you! She looked at me with a saddened expression and told me softly, ‘Then let’s do it all over again now, shall we?’ I looked at her with skeptical eyes and asked: ‘You’re not going to tell me the day after tomorrow that you don’t know what happened today, right?’ I also put my fingers up for her to guess how many, to determine whether she is currently lucid, she laughed and told me to stop! Wanted me to lie down and she went to get me breakfast.
She brought the breakfast to the bed to feed me, that feeling is really great, after eating breakfast, we are very happy to finish that thing. That day, when I took a shower, she asked to come in and chat with me, I was a little embarrassed, since I was a child, it seems that I have not taken a shower for the girls to see, she said: ‘We are already in this kind of relationship, what is there to be embarrassed about it? She said: ‘We are already in this kind of relationship, what is there to be embarrassed about? I thought to myself, “Why don’t you want to recognize me as your boyfriend?
Later on, she helped me brush and scrub and very carefully combed every place for me, I felt very happy, I really hope I can be with her forever, I really would give up anything for her! However, I still want to remind netizens over here that you really have to be careful when taking sleeping pills, because you most likely don’t know what you are doing after taking sleeping pills, just like her. And I also asked a doctor when I was hosting the show, and he said that taking too many sleeping pills can cause damage to your internal organs!
She would often go to Taipei, although she removed the contraceptive device, but I would still worry that one day she could not think straight, because after all, she was not willing to tell me where she went every day, like one day, she said she went to the Regent Hotel in Taipei to meet with a friend to chat, because my name is exactly the same as a celebrity, that day the celebrity also appeared in the Regent Hotel, so she took a closer look at him, and she felt that he looked a little bit like me! I think he looks a bit like me!
She came back and told me all this, and frankly I felt a little weird about it because I wanted to ask her what she was doing at the Regent. But I held my tongue, and had similar misgivings no less than a few times. However, once she came back from Taipei, when she was changing I was relieved, because she wore underwear that had a lot of buttons, I think, if you want to do that kind of thing, it is not possible to wear so difficult to take off the clothes, I say this mainly to express, in fact, there are a lot of answers, we can try to find out from the clues among some. Of course, it’s not that I like to worry, but when I’m with her, I have to be prepared for the worst at all times!
The title of each episode consists of a poem I made for her.
×xLet’s make a clever arrangement of destiny
lit. plant love in the spring breeze and rain (idiom); fig. to nurture a friendship
March is the month for marriages
My heart is engraved in your heart.
I’ll always remember the lingering green brook.
Where is the love that was so far away?
It’s hard to say goodbye to love.
Why can’t you stay out of it?
84/6/24 PM Briefing in Taipei
Each sentence solidly expresses what I feel inside!
Because I saw that her insomnia was not a solution, for a while, we went to the opposite side of the Qingxi National High School every morning to play badminton, because it was just the summer vacation, so it was just for us to exercise every day until 8:00 or 9:00 a.m., and for a while, she did maintain a period of time with a very normal routine and the whole person was much more energetic! She has always been very grateful for the changes that I brought to her, but it was only for a while, after all, it is a habit that needs to be cultivated for a long time.
That evening, I suggested a trip to the coastal highway, and as I walked and drove her March all the way to Bali, I could tell by the excitement in her eyes that she had rarely been there, and as I looked at her, she looked at the sea… It was a very romantic scene, especially as she was dressed up like a princess, and she was so pure in my heart, and as she watched the crowds of people frolicking by the sea, she said that she would just let her… Thinking about her interest in swimming as a child after she almost drowned in a water park in Datong, because she found the feeling of being in the water so much fun, she said, “It’s also because she likes to swim that her breasts are bigger than the average girl! Well… I wanted to bring this up especially for the benefit of some of the female netizens! Don’t say I didn’t tell you how to build up your breasts!
On the way home, she told me: ‘People say that women in love become beautiful, so remember to tell me when I become beautiful! I replied to her: ‘Actually, since we’ve been together, I’ve noticed that you’ve gotten prettier! It’s just that I didn’t dare to tell her! …’ 🙂 When we got home, she said she needed to take a nap and asked me to call her in half an hour at seven o’clock sharp. When the time came, I woke her up right on time, but she shouted back, ‘Don’t wake me up! I felt very aggrieved and said, ‘I’ll leave you to sleep! As I walked out of the room, I heard her keep telling me not to go, not to go, but I had to put on a show to let her know that it was not good for her to be in such a bad temper, and I purposely opened and closed the front door so that she would think that I had already left the house, and then hid behind the curtains on the floor-to-ceiling window in the living room. Not long after, I heard her coming out of her room, and that’s when it hit me, it’s over, my feet will be seen! Because the curtains were not dragged to the floor la! The door to her room was closed immediately, and I knew I was in trouble… I had to go and knock on the door, but she opened it and asked me, with a cigarette in her mouth and a cool look on her face, ‘Aren’t you leaving?
…hahahaha…’ It’s really strange how much I used to hate girls smoking! But how could I be so tolerant of everything she did???
Love is really great!
I love to watch her play the piano, because when she plays the piano, she is the most elegant and the most beautiful, I will appreciate the girls playing the piano also from knowing her. One day she wanted to teach me how to play the piano on a whim, and of course I was willing to do so! Under her instruction, I was able to play more than seventy notes in two days according to the correct beat. Of course, on the one hand, the piece was not very complicated, but she said that with my speed, I had already learned it very quickly!
One day, she was mopping the floor in the living room, and I was in her room playing the piece I’d learned. Since I knew it so well, I began to change the tempo of the piece and played it with the air of a pianist, mesmerized by the piece… and even my posture and expression resembled that of a pianist’s performance! In the midst of this intoxication… I saw her standing in the doorway of the room, looking like she was about to collapse! I knew that she was overwhelmed by my antics!
But it was a really sweet feeling. I don’t know if the readers can relate to it… There was another time when I made a cell phone call to her from the car, and I kept clamoring to sing the song “It’s All About You” by Cynthia Yip to her, and with the microphone clamped around her neck and her hands accompanying me on the piano, I sang the song to her. I sang it to her because the mood of the song was very similar to the situation between me and her… between us, there were always romantic memories…
(vi) Where is the love that was far away?
Throughout the first few episodes, I’ve deliberately refrained from describing the heroine in a bad light because I couldn’t bear to and knew that the reason she’s the way she is today is entirely the result of a tragic past!
At the time, she had just gained her rebirth and knew nothing, plus she was studying Home Economics and really didn’t know anything.
And because of the previous ravages caused by the unwillingness to trust anyone, only willing to believe in themselves, rely on themselves, the concepts and behaviors then become very extreme! And I want to make a lot of money immediately, so I can’t think of anything else to do, and that’s why I went into that kind of business! Do you understand? There’s a mindset… that… since I’ve had to live with the pervert’s abuse and his inhumanity, I might as well go into that kind of business where I can get paid for what I’ve done! …and make a lot of money in a short period of time… Can you understand this kind of depraved mindset? That’s why… I say it’s really sad for a girl who suffers like this… because this mentality after being abused… caused serious deviations in her behavior later on! In fact… she was a very elegant girl… she liked to read, play the piano, do household chores, make coffee, listen to high quality music, play the violin… Alas, I’ve mentioned all this at the beginning of the episode because I’m going to talk a lot about her bad-tempered side in this episode but I’m worried that readers might be turned off by it, and I’m sure that she wouldn’t want to be like that either, so I said it up front. I hope you can understand her bad side.
As I said, I used to hate girls smoking, and I don’t smoke myself, but since I couldn’t convince her to quit, I had to give her a very pretty women’s lighter to try to make her look more classy and elegant when she smoked. This was the only thing I could do for her when I couldn’t convince her to quit smoking.
Once when she went to a classmate’s pub in Taipei, she was approached by a boss in the Hsinchu construction industry, and she told him in no uncertain terms, ‘My boyfriend also works in Hsinchu, and he’s in an industry related to yours.’ And… that’s what she told me when she came back… but she just wouldn’t admit that I was her boyfriend. Moreover, I had a very strong feeling that I felt that all she wanted was to have such good memories with me for the rest of her life, and when the time came, she would leave me! …this feeling… has been very strong!
It was out of this fear that she once said, ‘Next time on my birthday, will you give me a blue-eyed Persian cat?’ Of course I would..! Because she rarely asked me for anything, and because I was always afraid that I wouldn’t have the chance to give it to her, in July I went to all the pet stores and holiday flower markets in Hsinchu, and finally found a very cute, flat-faced Persian cat with blue eyes.
I drove to Taoyuan that night and couldn’t wait to see her surprised face. On the way there, I spoke to the cat and said, ‘Cat… I hope that when I’m not with my mom, you’ll be there for her and don’t make her angry. I hope that one day you can attend our wedding, and I also hope that one day you will see the children we have had, and we will treat you as a family, and I hope that in the future I will have the opportunity to help you find a wife. Maybe the cat just left home and is not used to it? Or maybe it understood me, it kept meowing along the way, making me keep talking to it.
When I brought the cat in a cardboard box into her room, the cat made a sound in the box, and she was immediately attracted to the sound: ‘There’s the sound of a cat! I couldn’t wait for it to come out, and she was really surprised when she saw it! She asked me, ‘Didn’t you say you’d get it for your birthday? Why did you bring it half a year earlier? I said, ‘Because I was afraid you’d ignore me again, so I wanted to get it now! Although it seemed to be a joke, it revealed the worry I had in my heart.
Originally, we were going to start a small business in a clothing boutique on Xinming Street in Taoyuan City, but we couldn’t reach an agreement on the rental fee, so we called it quits. She also once planned to move to Hsinchu to teach piano as a business, of course I really wanted her to come because I could take care of her nearby, but then because the results of the city survey and evaluation were not very suitable, so then also called it quits, and I also once asked her to work as a housing salesgirl in my case, but she refused because she was not interested.
On this day, we came back to New Maple Grove for tea and chatting… She told me about the haunting of her place… I believe we all know that when you want to rent a house, you will definitely check it out first. When they came to look at the house, as soon as they opened the door, there were some unburnt papers flying in their face, but because of the low rent, the size of the house, its proximity to their home, and its proximity to the center of the city, and all of these factors, she rented the house anyway! When they were signing the contract, the landlord took out the previous tenant’s lease and gave them a copy of the relevant information, at which time she realized that the previous tenant had not lived for the full term of the contract and moved out, which was strange at that time, and when she asked about it, she realized that the previous two tenants had not lived until the end of the contract and then withdrew from the lease. Moreover, since moving in, she has been sick a lot, often with headaches, or a bad cold or fever, and of course, insomnia and nightmares were already there! But she’s been sick a lot since she moved here. Moreover, she often felt like she was being picked up and carried to the other side of the bed in her sleep, and she got used to it over time. Perhaps these phenomena were no more frightening to her than what had happened to her before…
One day when Evening Haru got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, she was used to leaving the door open because there were only two girls living there, but she didn’t expect to see a figure wandering back and forth at the door of her room! At first, she thought it was me, so she hurriedly closed the bathroom door, but the more she thought about it, the more wrong she became, because the figure didn’t look like me, because I was quite strong, so it was easy to recognize, and… and it was a “figure”! And, the next day, Nathalie told her about it and confirmed that I hadn’t stayed over last night, so she was sure that what Nathalie had seen was that kind of thing.
When I heard her tell me about the haunted phenomena in her house, I immediately took out the amulet from my wallet, which had been with me for six years, and gave it to her. I had begged for the amulet at the Temple of Heavenly Principle in Hsinchu, and she gladly accepted it, and I know that the amulet has been with her ever since. Strangely enough, I didn’t realize that the strange phenomena in her home had really disappeared since then! Perhaps it was really a blessing from heaven!
One time I spent the night at her place, and that night she started to feel bad again for some reason, so in the middle of the night I was scolded by her, and frankly I was a bit confused by it, so I told her, ‘I want to leave…’ It was 2 o’clock in the middle of the night, so I got up, got dressed, and went up to her again and told her that I I really had to go, not really hoping to get her to stay, but she yelled, ‘Why don’t you just go? What are you doing here? By her so say, I think I don’t go also can’t, so, I go to my car to sleep, in the car through the night.
About five o’clock in the morning, the mobile phone rang, it was her call, she actually said: ‘I slept halfway, and found that you are not with me, where have you gone? I said, ‘You were so mean yesterday and told me to leave, so I had to sleep in my car! When she heard that, she asked me to go up quickly and sleep a little longer while there was still time. That’s how she is, she’s actually very kind-hearted, but sometimes she just can’t control her emotions. But I understood that from the day I got together with her, I knew I had to put up with a lot of things, so I didn’t blame her at all… including what she did to me on the day before Valentine’s Day in the lunar calendar.
Often, she would suddenly think of something, and suddenly she would be in a very bad mood. At this time, she would sit by herself at the foot of the bed with a cigarette lit, frowning, unwilling to speak, and looking very pale, and at this time I had to sit far away from her at the desk, waiting… waiting for her to say to me, ‘What’s the matter with you? Why don’t you speak? What are you thinking about? Can you come over to me? Then the alarm would be lifted and I would be able to come over to her. Otherwise, if I tried to ask her, it would only result in her taking it out on me and using me as a punching bag! And when I did wait, it usually took two or three hours for the alarm to go off, during which time I had to sit at my desk, unable to speak because… I knew that would only make her more upset.
Like one time, I told her a joke from when I was a kid and she laughed out loud at it! Then I told her another one, and she laughed too! But when I was about to tell a third joke from my childhood, she shouted, ‘Don’t tell so many jokes at once! I’m sick of it! I was stunned by the sudden explosion! If I hadn’t experienced it myself, it would be hard for me to imagine someone laughing so happily one minute and then being so mean the next! The mood switched so quickly that I froze on the spot. But that didn’t stop me from wanting to be with her! Because from the day I decided to be with her, I was already mentally prepared for the worst, for the worst.
I also once asked her: ‘If you were a man today and you were asked to be with a girl like you, how long would you be able to endure it?’ She replied, ‘Half a day at the most! I wouldn’t be able to take it anymore…’
Evidently, she herself knew how bad her temper was.
She also said that she wanted to buy a computer because she wanted to use it to write in her diary, she wanted to surf the Internet, she wanted to play games… That’s the main reason why I got on the Internet in January of last year.
Because of the cat, there is cat hair everywhere in the house. One day she took the vacuum cleaner out, and because it hadn’t been used for so long, the bag was stuck inside, so she asked me to help her take out the bag, but I didn’t realize that the whole bag had rotted and broken, making it impossible to use the vacuum cleaner. I knew she was upset because she didn’t know where to buy the bag. I was so anxious that I immediately went home and got the phone book to look for it. As a result, I asked to pay for the shipping costs, and I went to Taoyuan the next morning to pick it up, and then hurriedly took it to help her put the dust bag together, and I even bought twenty of them, so that she could use them for a long time. When I was done, she was still sleeping and didn’t pay much attention to me, so I had to get up and leave, which made me very sad.
Just as I was about to get on the highway, she called me and said that she was sorry for just ignoring me like that, and that she offered to take me out for coffee, and that if she wanted to, she’d get up right now to take a shower and get dressed. But… I refused. In fact, I didn’t mean to refuse, but it just so happened that I was applying for a job as a program host for a cable TV company in Zhongli, and I thought I’d take this opportunity to show her that I also have a temper, and to see if I could let her experience it, but all she said was, ‘If you don’t want to go, forget it! She hung up the phone. Frankly speaking, I regretted it. Lunar Valentine’s Day is coming up, I always hope to bring her a surprise, I have never sent flowers to my girlfriend before I met her, this time I plan to send her one thousand and one roses!
At that time, I was also hosting a program in Hsinchu, and since I had a program in Hsinchu on Valentine’s Day, I delivered the flowers to her in person the day before Valentine’s Day. Anyway, the thought is the most important thing, it doesn’t matter if it’s a day apart. I rang the doorbell with a thousand and one roses in my hand… I was sure she would kiss me with joy… I was ready to accept her surprise the moment she opened the door, but I was surprised to see no expression of emotion on her face, and instead I got the eerie feeling that she was about to lose her temper! I gently put down the huge bouquet and said, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day! She was still expressionless, and then she brought me a drink, and while I was drinking it, she was deep in thought and didn’t speak. I felt an inexplicable fear, why does she like flowers, she did not have any reaction is just, but gives people a feeling of so terrible!
When I finished my drink, she spoke: ‘You can go, I’m not seeing you off.’ I said: ‘What’s wrong?’ She said: ‘There is nothing more to say between us! You can go back! Of course I wasn’t willing to leave like that: ‘What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you happy that I gave you flowers?’ ‘There’s no need to say anything! It’s over between us anyway! ‘You’re not leaving, are you? ”I’m not leaving! Why are you like this?” … Perhaps it was my bouquet of 1,001 roses that made her suddenly realize that she couldn’t let me go any deeper! It had to be cut off! Because she said that she was afraid of being the downfall of my future, afraid that my friends and family would recognize what she had done, afraid that if we got into trouble together in the future, I’d argue with her about her former profession… These were the reasons why she didn’t dare to fantasize about being with me forever, and why she had to make a clean break with me now, so as not to let herself get caught up in the end. This was because she had planned to just have good memories with me for the rest of her life!
Alas… this is the sadness of a woman of the wind!
Behavior and thoughts have now become so extreme that it is no wonder that she became so horrible when she saw me giving her so many roses, but instead she would not be happy at all!
You’re not leaving, are you? If you don’t leave, I’m going to hit you! Don’t blame me for being rude! ”No! I’m not leaving, I don’t want to leave when you’re like this.’ … Just like that, she ran to get an umbrella, ‘I’ll give you one more chance, are you leaving or not?’ … ‘No, I’m not leaving! If you want to fight, go ahead!’ I was certain that she loved me very much, because I had seen the way she dealt with other suitors too many times, and if it had been anyone else she wouldn’t have had to go to such lengths to kick them out, because she could have just walked away, and someone else would have taken care of the family for her anyway, but I knew that she was doing this in order to kill me, and in order to stop herself from harboring any more hopes for our relationship!
‘You’re still not leaving, are you!’ The first heavy blow hit me on the head! I wasn’t prepared for it… ‘Are you leaving or not? The umbrella with its iron bones hit me hard, one after the other, and while it was raining sticks, I told her, ‘The rarest thing in the world is sincerity, and now that you’ve got it at your fingertips, why do you want to ruin it like this? When she heard me say these words, she screamed hysterically, ‘Stop it! Stop it! She hit me harder and harder with each blow! At first I stood straight and let her hit me, but sometimes she would hit me on the head without mercy, so that I had to protect my head with my left hand, and I could only protect my head, because I knew that I had to save my life, so that there could be a glimmer of hope between me and her! She said, ‘Aren’t you going to let me hit you? Why are you protecting your head? …’You can hit me anywhere! But not your head, because I have to stay alive so that I can continue to protect you and take care of you!
‘ I told her as I was being beaten… My body hurt, but my heart hurt more!
It was hard to fight until the umbrella was all twisted and falling apart, and she finally stopped, and… by this time I was all over the place! ‘Are you leaving or not?’ … ‘No! I’m not leaving, I don’t want to be separated from you!’
…’Not leaving, are you? Good! Very well, I’ll go get it again!’ … Maybe she thought she could beat me?
She went to the bathroom and got the mop out and proceeded to hit me again and again! It’s not that I’m a masochist, it’s just that I already had the worst intentions of suffering any ordeal long before I had to be with her! Even when I’m being beaten by her like today, it’s all the more important that I don’t walk away from her, that I show that I’m true to her, that I have no regrets about her!
I was so sad, I cried, I hugged her tightly and cried out… ‘Why? Why has it come to this? Why did you treat someone who was so sincere to you like this?’ … ‘You let go! Let go of me… Are you leaving or not? I’m going to beat you away!’ She broke away from me with great force and continued to hit me with baton after baton, and I told her, ‘Go ahead! Go ahead… If it means you can take out all the aggression you’ve suffered on me, then go ahead! I’m willing to let you take it all out on me! , ‘Let all your sins end with me!’ …I said, enduring the pain… Occasionally, I could hear the wailing sound of the blows hitting my hardest hit areas, but I knew that it would not arouse her sympathy.
And so, I don’t know how long it took, or how many blows… until her hand went limp and she stopped, and her wrist was sprained! By this time, I had blood on my head, and my shirt was oozing blood from certain parts of my body that had been severely injured. ‘You’re not leaving yet are you? It doesn’t matter’ she picked up the phone and called someone, she said into the phone: ‘Are you free right now? Come here! Because she recognized some friends from the street, I thought she was probably going to call her “brothers” to kick me out! I told her: ‘If you want to find someone to fight me off, then I will fight back, I won’t let others beat me up! I’ll take it out on them, I haven’t been in a fight for a long time.’
She sat on the sofa, smoking a cigarette and catching her breath, because she was also exhausted, while I didn’t even dare to sit down, and stood there waiting for my buddies to come over with fear and trepidation. Soon after the bell rang, I started to fight, but to my surprise… it was her father who came in!
This is her smart place, she knows that with my personality to call my brother to come is not afraid to leave me, and I’m not likely to give in, but if it is her father to come, I probably will not let his old man worry and willing to leave, her father saw the bunch of 1,001 roses on the ground, and saw my a mess, and thrown to the side of the umbrella has not been molded, can not recall what happened! I saw her speak loudly: ‘I’m telling you in front of my dad today, I’ll cut you off forever in this life! Is that clear enough? I was really heartbroken… I was really heartbroken!
In the case that she indicated that she wanted to go out with her father, of course, I was too embarrassed to continue to insist on not leaving in front of his old man, I had no choice but to step out of the door, to take the elevator home, before leaving, I was very solemn to his old man to apologize, but also to let him run this trip, it is really very sorry, I went into my car with all the wounds. As soon as I got into the car, I began to cry! I broke down… I cried for a while before I started to go home. My body was hunched over and I couldn’t straighten up because it hurt so much! My head was also dizzy and sore! I drove with almost my entire body on the steering wheel, and I still couldn’t get my tears to stop. I cried all the way down the highway home, occasionally letting out a loud cry! My tear-filled eyes were blocking my vision and I was afraid to drive too fast because I couldn’t see clearly ahead! Cars behind me kept honking their horns urging me on because I was going less than thirty kilometers an hour, I couldn’t drive the car faster because I was hunched over and my left arm was deformed! My left arm was deformed because she hit me in the same area of my arm so many times that my arm looked like a “swollen piece of meat”! The junction between the swollen and uninjured area was so obvious that you could see it as a staircase!
With stinging wounds all over my body, I just cried all the way from Taoyuan back to my home in Hsinchu, I have never been in such pain before, my body aches and my heart aches even more! Back home, it was already more than twelve o’clock, and my family had gone to bed, I tiptoed into the house because I was afraid of being seen by my loving parents and letting them worry, when I entered the room and took off my clothes to look in the mirror, I realized that there was no black and blue on my body with a diameter of no more than ten centimeters, and in particular, almost all of my back was black! I couldn’t believe what my eyes were seeing! But I still do not blame her, because I believe that she would be so cruel to cut off this love starting point is also for my good, and, I believe that although she beat me all over the body, her own heart can not be better!
I wrapped up the bloodstained clothes and prepared to take them to the laundromat the next day, and took the other dirty clothes and prepared to take them to my mom tomorrow to wash them. It really hurts when I take a shower! It doesn’t matter if it’s cold or hot water, it hurts! I had to wipe it off. I’m not going to show it to the doctor because he’s going to ask me how I got it. I didn’t want to talk about it, and I didn’t want anyone to ask, and I was afraid that my family would find out if I took the medicine home, so I bought my own medicine and went home to put it on.
The next day, I went to work with a full body injury, and still went to host the live call in program as usual in the evening. Fortunately, I had protected my face and there were no marks on my palms, so in my suit, I could not tell that I was injured, except for a bit of a hunch.
(VII) It’s hard to finish loving you.
Even though I was beaten so badly by her and it was on the night I gave her 1,001 roses, I don’t blame or resent her at all, and I’m sure her heart wasn’t any better than mine. She once said that she would never be happy in her life, and that she hoped to make a fortune and then emigrate to a foreign country where no one would recognize her…. I can understand that. Let’s put ourselves in her shoes. If she were really thinking of marrying me today, someone who was true to her, she would have all sorts of concerns, for example: she would be worried that my friends and family or neighbors would recognize her for what she did, and she would be worried that people would point fingers behind my back! And what’s more, if one of the neighbors was even a guest of hers, and she is a big talker and tells the neighbors about it, would she be worried that it would harm her husband?
Of course she’s worried! Although the chances are very low, and although I would be willing to move to the countryside for her, and live a normal life, her mind has become extreme, of course, she will be very afraid of this kind of thing to happen. This kind of mentality may not be difficult to speak out to make people understand, but after all, only a few people can think of this, and therefore, I can sympathize with her why she would be cruel to hurt me, because she saw me send her roses, touched, but alerted to the fact that she can not let this she does not think there will be a result of the development of the love affair further! Otherwise, she will not be able to pull herself out of it! Instead of being together and causing me harm in the future and becoming the downfall of my future, it is better to cut it off now! Even if I had to be beaten up like this… in the long run, it was for my own good! So I could really understand her inner conflict and helplessness, and I didn’t blame her at all.
Immediately after I was injured, I ordered a set of Akagawa Jiro’s mystery novels from Crown Publishing, nearly 70 books in all, and I secretly drove them to her door, rang the electric bell, and left, because I didn’t want to anger her, and I left a note that said.
┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅ I won’t be able to come for about a whole month, because I don’t want to let you see me physically injured, because I can’t come for this month, so I hope that these seventy books, which are your favorite books to read, can take the place of me to accompany you to spend this period of time when I’m not by your side, and won’t make you feel bored. When I’m healed, please let me come back to you again, I’ll take good care of my injuries and you take care of yourself, I’ll be cheering!
┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅ On the other hand, the body injured I have been trying very hard to get the opportunity to host a program in Taoyuan, although she avoided seeing me, but I hope that at least I can let her see me, so I tried to appear in her family’s TV, and then I finally had the opportunity to host a program in Taoyuan, but it was only for a month, and I don’t know if she has seen it, but I have contacted her sister from time to time in order to know how she is doing. I don’t know if she ever watched it, but I did contact her sister from time to time to find out how she was doing.
A few days after I was injured, she was shopping with her sister when she suddenly said, ‘People are so cheap, they don’t appreciate what they have, but when they lose it, they miss it all the time…’
Her sister said I didn’t know at the time why her sister had come out of nowhere with that comment, but I guess the feeling would have been stronger for someone like her!
About three weeks after I was injured, it was raining in Hsinchu that afternoon, and I thought that the only umbrella in her place had been broken not long ago because of the beating, and I was really worried that if she were to go out now, she would not be caught in the rain because she did not have an umbrella, so I immediately bought an umbrella from Hsinchu and brought it to Taoyuan for her. I hung the umbrella on the doorknob and left a note: It suddenly started raining in Hsinchu this afternoon, which reminded me that the only umbrella on your side was broken, and I was afraid that you wouldn’t be able to use it when you went out, so I bought an umbrella for you, and I hope that you’ll be able to use it. However, I hope that when this umbrella dies, it will not be used on me… I hope so!
Because of the host of the program, I met a professor at Tsinghua University, who has been studying Zi Wei Dou Shu for more than twenty years, he helped me to calculate her fate, I did not tell the professor anything about her before, and the result is still being calculated by him, she is a woman of the world, he said that her fate is very much and serious peach blossom robbery and will go to earn the kind of money that the general public can not earn, in fact, I had the opportunity to get acquainted with her two years ago, but if I had known two years ago, there would not have been any emotional development. In fact, I had the opportunity to meet her again two years ago, but if I had met her two years ago, there would have been no emotional development. The professor was right, because two years before I met her, I was a married man, so it was impossible for my personality to be moved. Of course, while having my fortune told, I did not let the professor know about my divorce. However, the professor’s advice to me was that my personality was not too compatible with hers, and it was not a solution to force it. He also calculated that my marriage with her belonged to the category of ‘destiny but not fate’, and he suggested that if I could end it, I should end it earlier, because it was so destined.
Among the programs I hosted, there was one in which a psychic took live CALL INs from the audience on the set of the program, asking questions about the audience itself. One day I asked this master about her, and he told me ironically a lot of things that had happened between me and her, as well as her profession, and he hinted to me that she would probably go back to her old profession after a while! However, he did mention that he had a way to bring her back to me, and although he spoke with great confidence, even if this could bring her back to me I was not willing to use such a method; I wanted her to be with me willingly, overcoming the psychological obstacles, and so I politely declined the psychic’s kind offer. I have no intention whatsoever of expounding on the weirdness here, and I don’t follow any religion myself, but there are actually a lot of occult sciences that are still unexplained by our current technology. I don’t know how the psychic could tell so much about my past, even about me and my ex-wife. I don’t encourage this kind of spiritualism, but there are times when you really can’t be too ironclad, and that’s what I’m trying to remind you by recounting this past.
She once warned me on the phone that if I went back to her, she would move to Taichung or even Kaohsiung! Frankly I was really afraid of her moving to another county or city, because that would make her even more reckless and do things I didn’t want to see. I begged her not to move away from Taoyuan, and only after I promised not to go looking for her did she agree not to move for a while. That’s why I still didn’t dare to go to her even after my injuries healed later. It wasn’t that I was afraid of being beaten up again, I was afraid that this would cause her to move out of her current place. Therefore, I can only secretly drive past her house and look at the window of her room. Every time I see the light on in her room on the fourth floor in the car, it makes me feel that I am very close to her, even though I can’t see her, even though I can’t embrace her, at least this is a kind of comfort to me.
Finally it didn’t take long for the phone number for his residence to become empty again! But this time I couldn’t really find out her number because she had staggered her caller application! Even her caller number was changed, her determination scared me, I was so afraid that I would never hear from her again, I could only contact her sister, I could only take my chances to call her hometown during dinner time to see if she had come back. On the other hand, I just couldn’t afford to leave everything I had going on around me to go looking for her, because I also had to be able to keep my head above water so that I could do what I wanted to do.
Before she moved out, I bought her the album ‘Truly’ by Yip Sin-man, and I left her a note telling her that during the time when we couldn’t be together, I hoped that she would take good care of her health, and that I would work hard on my career, and hoped that she would wait for me… Maybe it was because I was so longing for her that I… I dreamt of her almost every day or two, and even dreamt of her having sex with someone else. Who could understand the torment I felt inside? Just like that, day after day passed and I never saw her. Finally, one day, when I came to her place, I suddenly realized that the air-conditioning in her room had been removed! I rushed to ask the building’s guards. That’s right! She’d moved out! She’s really moved out… (8) How can you stay away from your heart?
She really moved out… I was at a loss for words… I felt as if I was on the edge of a cliff trying to save someone, but because she didn’t want to drag me down with her, she tried desperately to pull her hand away and let herself fall into the abyss! This feeling made me lose myself for a long time, and made me feel like the walking dead for a long time.
Occasionally I would call her at home, but because her sister was about to go to college in half a year, and because she was attending the Normal University High School, her sister was living in Taipei for the last half of the semester. Later, I learned that in order to keep an eye on her sister’s studies, she lived with her sister, and therefore, I learned about her habits and routine from her sister, and determined that she had not done anything to make me worry about her sister before she went to college. Because during that time she opened a boutique on Zhongxiao East Road, near the top of the good business district, she explained that her sister could not tell me where the store was located, life is very simple, daytime rest until noon to open the store, and then return home at night to rest, and in order to urge her sister to study, naturally, do not often go outside. These are all from her sister’s mouth. I also feel much more at ease. I think, at least she has a normal job to do, I’m not in a hurry to meet her, although I miss her, although I often dream about her, but I’m satisfied to know that she’s doing well, and I don’t want to disturb her, causing her to change because of me, sometimes I have an impulse to go to the top of the shopping district to look for her, but I’m afraid to! But I was afraid that she would see me before I found the store, and I didn’t want to alert her. So, often the idea is put off because of that too. I can only spend my days praying that she is safe and well, and as long as I can make her feel at ease and happier, I’m willing to leave her even if I have to. I guess that’s what ‘true love’ is all about!
On the eve of the Lunar New Year in 1996, which also happened to be her birthday, I met up with her sister for a chat at the ‘New Maple Grove Garden’, which we used to visit frequently in the old days. I bought a wine gift box for her parents. A gift box of her favorite meat floss, and a CD of Eunah’s ‘Memories of Trees’ for her.
A brush glove for pet hair, and cat & dog treats that were HAPPY for Marzise and the blue Persian cat I gave her. There were also two red packets each for her sister & her brother, with prizes through and through! Even though my financial situation wasn’t great at the time, I still found a way to make her feel that I cared about the whole family even the pets.
Since January 19, 1996, I have been surfing the net. I started out hoping to reunite with her on the net because I had heard her talk about her wanting to surf the net, and I knew that my motives might be a bit childish or even ridiculous, but when one person is willing to do anything for the sake of the other person, all methods will be tried.
Because I was just trying to find a way for her to communicate with me, and I thought that, given my attitude, if there was an opportunity, I wouldn’t let it go… as long as I could manage it. Over the past year or so on the Internet, I’ve had very few social occasions, and I’ve been on the Internet since I got off work, which may be a bit of a closed shop, but it has opened up a whole new world for me on the Internet, and I’ve made a lot of good friends so far. Although most of them are younger than I am, it’s given me the chance to meet more people from all walks of life.
This was not expected.
If I were the Duke of Windsor today, I’m sure I’d give up the throne for Lady Windsor too! I’m sure if I were the rich merchant from ‘Sparrow to Phoenix’ (played by Richard Gere), I would never let her get away either. Even if she had the means to run to Mars, I would have the means to make my search cover the entire galaxy! But I’m not rich, I still have to raise my parents, I have a family to carry, I can go without food but I can’t ask my family to do the same, and I’ve faced the disintegration of my career for her. During the time I was courting her, my partners in fact betrayed me because of “profit”, but I don’t blame them because they could hardly hold on to their jobs at that time, and some of them even went into debt. So I don’t blame them, although they are currently living better than me, but at least I won the righteousness and respect, although worthless, but at least I didn’t apologize to others. In the end, I had to personally all the assets and liabilities of the company to receive a person to carry down, this year is still very bad, my company to support very hard, every month personnel, administrative overhead and taxes to my savings over the past few years all depleted. However, I still gritted my teeth and kept going, in order to let the owners (that is, those construction companies) to keep an impression on me, what impression? What impression? It is that during these years of recession, my company and I have not disappeared, I am still active in the field, and have not ceased to operate or shut down! If this is the case, when the economy recovers, the owners will naturally think of me, which is naturally a kind of affirmation! This is the main reason why I’ve been able to hold on to my business for the past few years. In the past two years, Hsinchu’s peers in the closure of the closure, the collapse of the collapse, the change of business to change the industry, and some even down a debt. At present, there are probably not many advertising agencies like us left in Hsinchu, of course, when the economy recovers, they will certainly pop up again, but at least we are in the eyes of our clients to continue to operate, of course, the impression is different.
Because I am not a rich man, I can not leave my job around me in the case of no income to find her, to invest all the time in her, after all, at least I still have a family to rely on me to maintain, in this realistic considerations, coupled with the fear of finding her to destroy her current stability, so I can only be in this breakup during the period of time to cheer up for the cause of the work of hard, and in the future, if it is destined to be reunited, will be able to have the money to let her have a good life, is not it? I’ll have the money to let her have a good life if we get together again in the future, won’t I? And even if I don’t have the chance to be with her again in this life, I still have to pull myself together for my life! Otherwise, instead of living like a zombie, I might as well end my life sooner rather than later. This is my outlook on life, I can’t say it’s right, but at least I have a responsibility to my parents, to myself, and to my future partner, I still have to work hard to get ahead! And I’m sure she wouldn’t want to see me get so down and out because of her, would she? If that’s the case, how can I let down all the people who care about me?
During the Chinese New Year period that year, the movie ‘Far From Vegas’ was just on. I remember when I went to see that movie, there were six of us in the party, three of them fell asleep, two of them ran outside to smoke in the middle of the play, and what about me? Halfway through the movie, I started to shed tears. It was a depiction of a disillusioned man who constantly paralyzes himself with alcoholism in an attempt to make himself die a chronic death, and encounters a call girl in Vegas who is very devoted to him. The heroine’s past encounters in the movie were similar to hers in real life, and the hero’s depraved state of mind also reminded me of her, so I could see her shadow in both the male and female protagonists in that movie. Her shadow can be seen in both the male and female characters in that movie. And the heroine’s heartfelt devotion to the hero, that kind of remorselessness that she would not hesitate to show for the sake of her soul, was also a reflection of me… I couldn’t stop myself for a long time, and my heart was really excited. In the play, the heroine, who couldn’t convince the hero to quit drinking, bought him a pretty little flask one day to carry with him. This kind of feeling reminded me of the time when I couldn’t convince her to quit smoking, so I bought her a pretty and cute female lighter to try to make her look better and more tasteful when she smoked… I was even more thrilled… Sometimes when I called her at home in Taoyuan When I called her home in Taoyuan and she answered, she would talk to me for a while, but I could still feel that she didn’t want to talk to me too much, and I thought to myself, “Maybe she really doesn’t have any feelings for me…” Sometimes I would sneak out to the neighborhood of her hometown to see if I could ‘run into her by chance’. Sometimes when I saw her car, I would leave notes on the windshield wipers, leaving my blessings and thoughts, hoping that she would feel my thoughts about her.
The days passed in this way, with disappointment after disappointment… I never saw her again… since I was injured by her… until today… April 11th, 1997.
In April 1996, I tried to get a third girlfriend, who graduated from Tamkang University, but we broke up before she graduated due to personality differences. But it allowed me to live in a cozy, soulful place again…
One day, she called me and asked me to help her with something because her sister had gotten into the Chinese College of Technology in Hsinchu and wanted me to help her sister find a house to live in. At the same time, I learned that because of her brother’s military service, her parents had no one to take care of her at home, so she moved back home to Taoyuan to live. During this period, I called her often and learned from her sister that her boutique in Taipei seemed to have closed for business as well.
During a phone conversation, she told me that she had a boyfriend and was even pregnant with him, and that she had originally planned to get married, but then she had the baby aborted because of the test results that showed that there might be something wrong with the fetus! Because the baby was aborted, she didn’t consider marrying him for the time being. I don’t know if she lied to me or not, but I don’t want to find out, I just want her to take care of her body and not make herself suffer anymore.
Every time I go to Taipei on business, on the way back to Hsinchu, I would call her on the cell phone in the car, hoping to have a chance to meet her by the way when I pass by Taoyuan, but every time the answer is always disappointing to me. Sometimes I could only drive by her neighborhood and look at her little white march car for a moment. Sometimes I would look around the stores we visited, sometimes I would pass by the apartment building where we used to live and think back to the past. I had a premonition that I would never see her again in my life. It was not until last year, October 1996, that I realized that her home phone number, which she had used for twenty years, was no longer available! I thought maybe it was time for me to let go… I called her sister several times to ask her to pass a message to her sister, hoping that she would call me, but she never did, never called me. So many days have passed, half a year, with no news from her at all, and she even told her family never to have any contact with me! Perhaps… I didn’t realize that the poem I wrote for her back then would turn out to be a prophecy between her and me! And it just happened to match the plot, the chapters, the progression of the story perfectly… Alas… perhaps it was destined to happen!
In the later days, every time I heard the song ‘New Loveless’, I couldn’t keep it to myself for a long time, because the first time I heard this song was sung to me by her in the KTV, and until now, sometimes when the movie is played on the fourth channel, I don’t dare to look at it, because I am afraid that my mood will fall to the bottom, so as soon as I see this movie on the TV, I immediately change the channel. So as soon as I saw this movie on TV, I changed the channel immediately.
All I can say is that I really tried my best and did right by her. At least when the day comes for me to die, I won’t have to regret why I didn’t try to save her and help her out of her misery in the first place. That’s why I thought in my heart that if I didn’t free her from that abyss of suffering, I would feel indebted to her and sorry for her. At least, I can be sure that she did not do that kind of thing for a whole year after she met me! Since I have tried my best but still can’t get it back, then I should put it down, and if I have to get up, I should take off my wings!
I won’t lose faith in love because of this, I’m a very strong person. Courage can lead a person through the most treacherous and dire circumstances! I won’t let this make me despair about this whole relationship thing, I won’t let this make me afraid to give my heart again! I just want to treat my next person well now, and I will only treat her better than I did my ex-girlfriend, not worse! Because I think it’s very rare to give your heart to someone, I’m happy to do so… even after such a traumatic experience. Some people often ask me what if I meet the heroine again in the future? If I hadn’t met anyone at the time, of course I would have been willing to renew my relationship with her, but if I had met someone new, there was no way I would have done anything to dishonor my current girlfriend or wife.
If, one day, I hear someone say that she has left the earth, frankly, I won’t be surprised at all. It’s not that I’m cursing her death, but it’s her temperament and lack of self-care that really makes me worry about her. Just like the hero in ‘Stay away from Vegas’, she is bent on destroying herself and paralyzing herself.
I’m sure that even if you give sincerely, you may not get something relative to what you get. However, I’m even more convinced that if you don’t give your heart, it’s unlikely that the other person will treat you permanently and sincerely… don’t you think so? However, if I were to turn back the clock, I would still treat her as I have always treated her! I would never regret what I did to her. Because I feel very proud that I was able to give my heart to a girl in such a way, at a time when young men and women are becoming more independent, orientalistic and open-minded in their approach to dating!
Of course, the act of visiting prostitutes is something I’d like to end this story with a reminder that it’s not a matter of honor, and I hope that male internet users will keep that in mind. Although British superstar Hugh Glenn also visited prostitutes and was even arrested! But I’m not going to use that as a defense for my whoring behavior. That’s the only thing I want to apologize to my future girlfriend and fellow women for in this story, and I hope my soon-to-be-girlfriend understands that. I also hope that after reading this story, you will appreciate what you have now and what you will have in the future. Don’t discriminate against women who work in specialties, as I believe most of us would not want to live a life without dignity. Secondly, even if you have suffered a tragic accident like the one in the heroine’s past, don’t lose hope in life and let yourself fall! One wrong step leads to another!
Remember, remember…