I have known him for four years, the first three years are classmates, although playing together, often joking or talking, but both sides do not have a clear good feeling. But I feel a very strong “desire” for him, accurately speaking, not sexual desire, just a kind of can not be explicitly said and hidden mysterious and beautiful desire.
He was a handsome guy and had a lot of girls chasing after him when he was in school, so I didn’t bother to go along for the ride.
In the fourth year, he finally confessed his love to me, and I gladly accepted. But at that time he was in the United States, and I was in China, we were through E-mail to “confession”. He said that he and I classmates have been afraid to say, afraid of my rejection of him because I do disguise very not interested in him, so he went to the United States.
This summer vacation he returned to China in mid-May, although we have been classmates for three years, but never as a “couple” posture, and then a year is also online love letters to the spirit of love to maintain, when he finally appeared beside me, I suddenly feel at a loss for words, I looked at his face, feel so unreal.
But things were still out of control. We were very disciplined kids growing up, and when we were in school, we had to go all the way to school, and in my mind, I had a very strong rejection of the word “love”, and I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was in love or that I had a boyfriend.
After he came back, things went very fast for us, and I just thought that saying “I love you” to each other’s face would be a very big, very heart-warming feat, but we…
In the first week after he came back, we just went to some libraries, restaurants, tea houses to date and talk, a week later, he kissed me in a small park, this is the first kiss for both of us, before that I have always felt that the kiss is very heart, I hate saliva. But when he kissed me, I was like: what the hell is going on? How did we get to this point? He had the nerve to stick his tongue in my mouth, what was I supposed to do?
The tongue was slippery and the saliva felt not like saliva but like a kind of jelly, sticky and quite tasty.
Also, his hands were very aggressively attacking my breasts, giving me a sense of pleasure and liberation at the same time, feeling like I had finally done the unseemly thing that everyone had to do.
I thought the kiss was over and we were happy. But he went further than that, and two days after the kiss, not only did he kiss endlessly, but we always met at night because I had to go to class during the day. After the kiss, he never went to the bookstore or the restaurant with me, but always went to the park.
After I got used to kissing, I didn’t feel as excited as I did the first time, because it was just mouth-to-mouth eating each other’s tongues, which is how you usually eat pig’s tongues, and it’s quite common, isn’t it?… But since he loved kissing so much, I just had to go along with it. What I liked most was the mood. When we said goodbye and walked back after the separation, he would suddenly grab me, pull my head over and kiss me hard, which was the best feeling, just like in a movie where you’re saying goodbye. At this time I will try my best to make the posture very perfect, waist backward, shoulders naturally drooping, and hair loose.
That’s it. There’s nothing unusual about a kiss, in my mind.
But by the third day after the kiss he started to start with my blouse, unbuttoning my chest, and I started to be adamant about not allowing it, pushing him. I started to push him. He then turned into kissing me and continued to unbutton it. I thought he’d have to unbutton it sooner or later anyway, so I let him, and so he did. I was wearing a Chinese dress, and the buttons were hard to undo, and when he did, I clearly remember the two of them sitting on a rock in a bamboo forest in the park, the bamboo freshly dripping with water and glistening with the light of the moon, the grass having a very thin scent, and surprisingly, pedestrians passing by underneath! And I could see the tops of their heads, and they would have spotted us if they had looked up. But I could see his hands trembling slightly beneath the moonlight as he unbuttoned his buttons, and it was sexy.
He finally managed to undo the clasp and kissed me while fondling my breasts on the outside of my bra, which I felt was very wrong, and pedestrians were still passing by and would probably see us. But I simply couldn’t make sense of where his hands were, whether they were on the outside or inside of my bra, as we were squeezed very tightly.
Suddenly he covered his head and sucked my nipple with his tongue, I couldn’t believe it, the lightning fast sensation gave me no chance to think and thus refuse, but I repeatedly realized, how did we do this? What are we doing? What’s going on here? Pedestrians were walking by down there and we were doing this in the woods.
I wasn’t thinking with my mind, but I wanted pleasure, the unimaginable pleasure of that tongue touching the tip of my breasts, and the sense of crisis that at any moment I would be spied on by a passerby was so intense that I wanted to push him away desperately, and that’s when I realized with sadness that I was only holding him tighter.
Then three more days went by and we ran off to his house in a blur. His parents weren’t home, and I didn’t even know what was going on, but he was kissing, coaxing, and licking me out of my clothes. Later he said, when he undressed me, he was so excited that he was shivering, but I didn’t think so at that time, I just thought that he was especially stupid, and he didn’t even know how to undo his bra, and he couldn’t undo it for several times, and in the end, it was me who helped him to undo it. But of course I regretted it when I took it off, thinking it was wrong, but sure I didn’t want to put it back on.
Then naturally I was pushed on the bed and he repeatedly sucked on my breasts and then gently bit them, I felt so comfortable that I screamed a few times. This was great, so he came on strong and started to take off my panties, and when I struggled, he got even more excited. I thought, “He’s going to have to take them off sooner or later anyway, so let’s not fight him. He took his underwear off, and then he insisted that I touch his penis, so I thought, “I’ll have to touch it sooner or later anyway,” so I did. The thing was great fun, it was a stick whacker type, kind of hot, it was dark pink, it looked pretty clean and didn’t have a weird smell, and when I pushed it it fell back and then popped back up, it was great fun.
I then boxed him a couple times, which resulted in him screaming that he couldn’t take it anymore and that I was being rough and abusing his genitals. I thought he was too vulnerable like that, so I laughed at him a little, and he went crazy again, pushing my legs up and trying to tongue my vagina. This time I firmly resisted because I thought it was very perverted behavior and had to be stopped. However, he ignored my attempts to stop him, and on reflection, I realized that I had not done so thoroughly, and that I had undoubtedly contributed to his subsequent actions, and I guess I probably said something like, “Don’t” or “Don’t…”.
He used to talk to me about how when a woman says “no,” she means “I’ll think about it,” and when she says “think about it.”
It’s “to be”, and when you say “to be”, it’s not a woman’s problem anymore. I agreed with that at the time, so I am now saying “don’t”, which is completely self-defeating.
I guess if I really didn’t want it at the time, I should have sat up immediately, given him a big, resounding slap in the ear, and said through gritted teeth, “Rascal!” But at that time I obviously did not do so thoroughly.
So with this lustful stopping on my part, he got his way, holding both my hands down dead center on the bed with both legs over his shoulders. After observing for a while, he found the clitoris and sucked it inside his mouth in one gulp.
So I’m finally done, I was more lucid during all the process before that and I could always figure out if this was worth it or not? How far could he be allowed to go? Or what would be the point of stopping him from doing it, or at least making some sort of “I can’t believe it”, “I can’t believe we’re doing this”, “How can we do this”… and so on. “How can this be?” or something like that. But when he sucked on my clitoris, I was out of my conscious control, out of my control, and it was horrible!
The sensation of just being sucked in was comfort, unparalleled comfort. It was as if something was trying to rush out, but it just wouldn’t.
The next thing I knew, I was completely lost, a burst of pleasure, continuous and running towards a dangerous edge, as if you were on a roller coaster that was off balance and you knew it must be ruined in the end, but you couldn’t help but enjoy the pleasure on the edge of near death.
As he licked, he shouldered my hips, which I later realized I had pushed myself up first, quite high, and thankfully, having learned stand-ups in middle school, my back flexibility was pretty good, so that all of my clitoral portion was placed under his tongue and my legs were off of the floor (no, the bed), when my entire body’s muscles froze for a split second, and then trembled from my neck to my heels in what felt like a stretching very thoroughly never before seen in a violent slouch. It was that second, maybe shorter maybe longer, I can’t measure it in time, but it was the most intense physical sensation I’ve ever felt in my life, except for the time I was hospitalized with diarrhea as a child. I finally realized that for the first time the physical body existed as a separate spirit, not a dependency of the soul. It was a terrifying experience!
After I came, he had to keep licking because I was screaming rather loudly. I knew it myself, and although I knew it, I couldn’t control it, nor did I want to. The screaming of course excited him greatly, but he didn’t know the most accurate time for me to climax, so he licked me the most when he heard me scream the loudest.
As soon as I climaxed, I couldn’t stand his tongue for another second, and the oral sex after orgasm was torture, my nails were pinching into the sheets, but fortunately he finally stopped.
I really like a big illness, very comfortable, and not a little strength, do not want to move anything. However, he was still particularly active, and came over to bite my breast again, this time I did not feel any pleasure at all, because after intense stimulation, this tiny stimulation is relatively weakened, just as you eat lemon and then eat oranges do not feel sour.
He was a little chagrined when he saw that I wasn’t responding, but I didn’t want to invite him in, lest he make another incident and come back to torment me. Yet I was grateful to him, and felt very happy after my orgasm.
He asked me to do some Hand Job I just casually rimmed it up and down, it was fun, indeed! He ended up calling me stupid for rubbing his penis all soft. It did, he’s always been hard and big, and now for the first time since we first got home, it’s soft!
I laughed my ass off. How could I be so stupid and he be so smart? But then he kissed me again, kissing me so hard, his fingers digging in the direction of the vagina, and soon he said: “Ouch! Why are you so wet? Even your thighs are wet all over!”
As you can imagine, he was hard as a rock right away, and I had to do it by hand for him, which was a pain in the ass! I had to do it by hand for him again, which was a pain in the ass! As I was doing it, he told me that I had touched his pubic hair and it hurt, so he went soft again.
I’ve given up. He’s a pain in the ass to work with. I’m not good at it, so don’t let me do it! I got angry and quit, ready to go to bed. He was so anxious that he lifted my leg and tried to lick it again. Thirty minutes after my orgasm, I was just getting over it, and I wanted to refuse, but I couldn’t, so he took advantage of me and licked me again.
As soon as my clit was sucked in, I started barking, it was almost like a dog drooling at the sound of a bell, a conditioned reflex.
He swallowed the nucleus, I screamed louder and louder, and then he suddenly contained the immobility, at this time my waist has been up half a day high, immediately want to reach orgasm, he did not move again, this is not into the heart of angry people!
I was so hard and so determinedly embarrassed to say I’d let him continue, because in the past I’d said no and he’d forced me to lick it, which was comfortable but didn’t indicate that I was satisfied or anything like that, and now I was going to have to beg for it, which was not going to happen. But he just held it there without moving, and as I began to squirm in protest, he swiped his tongue hard from time to time.
I can’t, I can’t! I can’t take it anymore! It’s pissing me off! I swear I’ll strangle him and chop him into one, two, three pieces to feed the fish!
Screaming didn’t work, as soon as I grabbed his cock, I started to work it up and down, surprisingly very coordinated this time, I quickly found a special rhythm by instinct, getting more and more comfortable and skillful. His breath caught and he was enjoying himself, and I felt a great sense of accomplishment at my first success. He was panting heavily as he urged me to hurry.
I said: “Then you also continue!” He continued to lick and nibble on my pussy, and it was so comfortable to be upside down.
After I climaxed, he had a while to go and my hands went numb. I thought to myself, “I’m not going to do this until he’s done,” and he finally ejaculated between my breasts.
I ran to take a shower right away, I was so upset, I got semen on my hands, I asked him to wipe it off, but he didn’t do it properly, he touched my breasts all over, I hate hate hate! This big pervert! I was furious and ran to the bathroom to clean up.
He praised me for the good job I just did, so I made faces at him and turned my back to ignore him; he rolled over and kissed me again, and I still ignored him and just wouldn’t open my mouth, so he had to switch to biting his breasts. This nasty guy with all his energy, he is well fed in America. I decided to ignore him, so I did.
When he saw how steadfast I was, he gave up and went to take a shower as well, then yanked me up and said he was hungry for dinner. I don’t want to get up and he harasses me. Annoyed, annoyed, annoyed, I finally got up and got dressed to go eat. I found some leftovers in their fridge and casually made it, it tasted okay, we were both very hungry, so we ate quickly, and after eating forced him to wash the dishes, which he did quickly.
After dinner I said: “Then go shopping.” He also said yes, pushing and shoving to the door, he suddenly turned around and kissed me, this is good, the previous work is lost, turn around, and was pushed back to the bed.
The speed of the clothes off is incredibly fast, can be said to be a good time, the beginning is to kiss and kiss, and then he begged me to give him oral sex, I firmly refused, told him, I know from the beginning of the oral sex of this thing is extremely averse to oral sex, I think that doing so is the most heart of the world thing.
Seeing how angry I was, he said, “Okay, okay, then I’ll lick you again, okay?” I desperately wanted to reject his proposal, but before I could do so, he started. I realized after reflection, still want to welcome and reject, the fundamental responsibility or I refused not thorough enough. Then I ran out of brains for self-examination and got so shagged by him that I didn’t even know my last name.
He stopped to hold my clitoris a total of 4-5 times, torturing me so badly that I screamed so loudly that I finally begged him to “do it harder” before he could bring me to orgasm in one fell swoop. After he finished licking me, he looked at me with a pitiful look of lust.
Hey, my cleanliness fetish! Usually I have to wash my hands three times before I stop touching money, what should I do now? If I don’t have oral sex, I’ll apologize to him. Since he’s so understanding and let me be a virgin, I have to comfort him too.
I decided to wash his cock well, and he started screaming and said no more licking. I said, “Well, you don’t want to lick it.” He immediately said: “Then you better wash it.” I brought the “summer things Lotus” shower gel and hot towels to, the shower gel squeezed a large pile, rubbing vigorously, and soon rubbed out a lot of many, many, many of the soap bubbles, white wow look great, and wash up slippery, and pinch the face of the general.
He was so hurt that he couldn’t catch his breath, and every time I rubbed him, he gasped and cursed, “Take it easy.” I snickered and said, “It’s almost over”. I suspect that in the end the soap was a very good lubricant, and he was actually very happy.
After the shower gel, I went to the refrigerator to get jelly, peach-flavored pulp jelly, cut open on his penis, rubbing back and forth, he yelled: “What are you doing! What are you doing?” I said: “This can replace the tongue, you see in fact the tongue is also so, not as cool as the jelly stimulation it!”
He was furious and fell headfirst into his pillow. I smiled triumphantly, finally getting my revenge.
Revenge worked, so I just had to do it. Taking a bite first, I almost sputtered, it was like “Summer Thing Lotus” body wash with peach, and a little sweet and fragrant. It wasn’t tasty, but it certainly wasn’t awful.
I licked it slowly, left and right, up and down. Why didn’t he make any noise? And he didn’t praise me. Then I’ll stop eating. I’ll eat the jelly!
When I was about to withdraw, he grunted and pressed my head down, this guy, knockout! Still pumping hard, with the head of his penis pressed against my throat, it felt like when I was a child and the doctor pressed down on my tonsils and said, “Aaah…”, but it was nothing really, just a bit of an oooh, not a bad sound at all!
He is also annoying enough, I feel tongue numb, so I spit it out, switch to hand. This time, very smooth and ejaculate, ejaculate all over his own, I go to wipe the intentionally wipe his stomach, this is called “the way of its own people also put its own body” also!
The group finally broke up after another half-dozen bare hugs.
This was the second week, around Wednesday. After this time, we had nothing to do but meet for dinner, and after dinner we had to undress.
It used to stay honest for three years, three whole years, without even touching a little fingernail once, and now it turns out to be two and a half weeks of running to bed.
I reminded myself over and over again that this was very wrong, very dangerous, very much against traditional morals, and smacked of expulsion from school.
When we met, we used to push the cart side by side, discuss how hard today’s homework was, what jokes the teacher made, and then chase after his ass and shout, “Hey! You owe me five dollars again today, and I’m going to make you look good tomorrow!”
Now it’s like this: meet and eat. At dinner, he’ll take advantage of the situation, saying things like “It’s so big.”
Horny words like that and then researching who’s house is empty today. After riding my bike, entering the house and getting sexually aroused, he started kissing me. Undressing, falling into bed… End of story…
It’s worth stating that the only academic issue we discussed during this period was the issue of virginal virginity plots. The two of us prided ourselves on being very pure, very traditional, very well-behaved good boys, and still pure first love, a love for four years in fact, the first three years were wasted, and the last year was a waste of time, and really a love for two weeks.
He then said he had a virginity complex, and to piss him off, I said I didn’t have a virginity complex, and that I didn’t care if it was the first time for the man I slept with, it was better to have experience. He was furious, but he couldn’t help it, because he did have a virginity complex. In order not to destroy my beautiful virgin image, not let me become an illegal slut before marriage, he firmly refused to steal the forbidden fruit. He said, that is, I begged him to fuck me he did not fuck, especially bullish look.
Who would want to be fucked by him? It’s not worth it if you get pregnant, and it’s so painful and bloody… Even though the legendary unattainable vaginal orgasm is so desirable, I’d rather be a saintly mother for the time being.
We both came to the conclusion that we are both virgins. That’s funny!
I don’t know if other guys can do this, but sometimes I get touched thinking about it. We’ve spent a few nights together and he’s had plenty of chances, every time he’s been hard and big, but it’s just something I’ve dealt with with my hands.
I’m not conservative, but is he? I didn’t used to believe that a man could restrain himself in moments like these, in order to maintain a girl’s so-called innocence, yet I admired his will. I thought, if he asked for it, would I give it? The conclusion was no, but I was just looking out for myself and not wanting to lose my virginity.
I feel selfish and bored sometimes. What’s the point of being a virgin like this? To be fucked or not to be fucked is just a matter of thought, and if it wasn’t for the fear of pain and pregnancy, I don’t know what else could have prevented this relationship from happening?
In a trance, I would also quickly realize that I was a good student and a good boy, went to a prestigious university, and received a traditional education, and in the midst of the cruelty, I had to shake my head: it was all the fault of Internet.
A month later he flew. Before he flew, he said he loved me. I knew he loved me, and as I hugged him, I realized that my face was wet with his tears. He was going back to the US, but I was going to stay in China, continue my studies and love my hometown. I know it’s too late, I don’t know what I have to say to him, I want to say I love him, but can I?
He studied science and engineering, which is a popular major and good for finding a job. I study liberal arts, go abroad is nothing, as a chaperone only. I do not want to go to the United States, is a good early volunteer, when he flew away, we are nothing, nothing to say, that is, I sent to the airport, but also a sentence: “You do not forget to owe me five dollars!” Now he flew away like this, how can I be unattached?
There was no way to persuade him to come back, no way to go to America and follow someone else’s path. What I have left, I think, is a virgin’s body, but a dirty soul. A woman’s body, but an unruly character.
I didn’t say anything before he left. He moved his mouth a few times, and I knew he wanted me to marry him after graduation.
But the American vegetarian and I have no relationship, and China’s work to find good for me, the network of relations and my family, my talent, only in this land to be able to develop, I can not be a lifetime of cradling his life, but I really can not let go of him.
He cried for the last time, crying: “This time can be planted, never cry in front of a woman, but damn just can not stop tears.”
In the end, he left for America. It’s not easy to come back. I don’t know when we’ll see each other next time.
I walked slowly on the road, the climate was so warm, I thought, his visit was really like a spring dream, that four years ago, a scene of memory and clear, like a fairyland. We used to be pure, so pure that it was almost closed, but purity is like the most cherished part of a photo album, that kind of good feeling that penetrates the carnal desire in a flash.
I wondered if this month or so, the kiss that began in just one week, the relationship that began in two weeks, and the bed that slept over our young-turned-mature bodies in three weeks, was the beginning of a romance or the end of a carnal one.
I think, fortunately, I’m still a virgin. I thought, but is there really an orgasm? Could I ever get more pleasure than that in someone else’s arms? Is being fucked or not being fucked more or less important to me? Was it chastity or vanity that I adored?
The body often thinks of him on summer nights while the mind faints into a fog. The body is on the other side of the world, a land I can’t and won’t set foot on. And it is only when the body’s longing intensifies that I want to ask the question: is it too soon for us to be like this?