The day I went back before the Spring Festival, it was a snowy day, not too much snow, it was very fine snow, but the ground had fallen very thick snow, white. I passed a bridge, in front of a girl stood still, she called my name, but I could not remember who she was. Afterward, she suddenly said, “Do you remember that summer, that seven-year-old girl, the one who sent you a letter?”
I remembered who she was, that summer fourteen years ago, and will never forget it, it’s in the shallowest depths of my memory. That summer was hot, thirty-seven degrees every day. In that summer I had grown to be fourteen years old and had finished my freshman year of high school. The little girl in front of me had changed so much, she was a big girl now, and in the bright red down coat, I could see her youthful and rounded beauty that was spread very curved.
That night, I was alone in my room, my mind began again the story of that summer fourteen years ago, that summer is too short for me, I walked through that summer, like never experienced that kind of summer, fourteen years, I also like to have been looking for that summer, looking for the story of that summer. The snow outside the window was falling heavily, at this time, I heard a person outside the window gently knocking on the window to call me, I opened the door and walked out, fourteen years ago to deliver the letter of the little girl, standing outside, in the dazzling white snow, she used a piece of red scarf wrapped around her face.
I let her in. She told me about the letter she had given me that summer and had hoped that it was the letter she had written to me. Fourteen years have passed, and I am old enough to write letters, to you. I look forward every year to your coming back in the summer and giving you this letter, which is written to me, do you read it? She said.
Fourteen years ago that summer, another person rushed out of me, it was with me and it was not with me. I don’t know how it slept on me for so many years; it woke up as if it had gotten too much sleep, full of energy and wanting to swing around. He stretched out at a very early age, I think it was when he was eight, maybe ten, twelve years old, and he stretched out a little bit more, like he was going to wake up, but then he went back to sleep. Fourteen years old, it was too hot that summer.
Outside, the snow was getting heavier and heavier, and through the window glass, you could see large flakes coming down. It wasn’t too cold inside, there was a heater. I began to slowly fold open the red envelope, the letter had been written fourteen years ago, fourteen years of writing, she wanted me to fold her one summer, and I had been looking for that summer. But she didn’t know that the man who folded the envelope wasn’t me, he was someone else, and he was crazy and rude.
He was awakened by a man fourteen years ago and hasn’t slept since.
Fourteen years ago, on this wintry night, the little girl who delivered the letter grew into such a big and beautiful girl. I remembered again the look in her eyes when she looked at me that year, a letter that had been written for fourteen years, it was so moving, was she a little late in getting to me, I was getting impatient as I folded open this letter, the first thing I saw was the pair of breasts, round, firm, peachy red, with a strong milky scent that made people faint I was all too familiar with this scent, especially on a girl who folded the seal for the first time, it smelled so good that it was soul-sucking.
Fourteen years ago it was summer, no wind or snow, it was frankly shallow, that scent was too late to get drunk, it was wonderfully drowsy in the searing summer heat.
My hometown, is in the north of Jiangsu near the Yangtze River on the edge of a small village, fourteen years ago it is a small village, now changed, become a lot of memories can not be found. In front of the village, behind the village, is a very voluminous large lake, the lake is distributed with many large and small separated from the shore, is part of the lower Yangtze River delta river waters. In summer, the shore usually long taro, taro leaves are very broad and very green, from a distance, the lake looks like the distribution of many green islands. Not far from the lake, there is a large reed field, in summer, often see wild ducks in there, childhood and teenagers, I often pick up wild eggs there, there are wild duck eggs, there are other wild bird eggs.
In the summer the reed field, usually submerged in a lake, has an exhaustive height of water above it, and the fish rush in and out of the reed field. Traveling through this reed field, in front of a small river, across the small river is a bank, fourteen years ago, that also grows taro, very broad leaves.
At fourteen, it may be too big for a boy, and it is certainly too small for a man. At fourteen, it may still be ignorant of love, but at fourteen, it is a reservoir full of water that has not been opened. I have seen the opening of the gates to release water, is in Jiangdu hydropower station, also in the season of high water, after the gates open to open, the water roar rushed out of the gates, the momentum, unstoppable and defiant.
It was on that bank, under those broad taro leaves, it was at three or four o’clock in the afternoon, the sun was still hot, and the one in me woke up, the lust that had been sleeping for fourteen years woke up, and from that day on I became two persons, one of mad lust, and the other of the modest and shy me. Was I this shy when I was a child? It seems not, I heard many people say that girls who are flirtatious on the surface are not necessarily flirtatious on the inside, on the contrary, those who look shy on the surface are flirtatious on the inside, I don’t know if that’s true or not. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I am, I’m a boy, and my shyness hides a raging thirst for lust inside me.
Fourteen years later, I still remember that day vividly. I crossed the reed field when a leech sucked on my foot, the reeds are very high, green reed leaves over my head, look up, is a deep blue sky, the breeze from the reeds blowing through, there is a slight “cha-ching-ching-ching” ringing sound, the reeds below the lake, is cool, feet standing in the water, feel especially cool. Occasionally, there are a few birds in front of the field of reeds.
Through this field of reeds, in front of the river, a shallow river, the river is full of water plants, opposite the taro field, like an island-like bank, and this field of reeds and only a dozen meters away from the wide taro leaves, has been propped up to the edge of the river. When I swam across that river, many waves were stirred up inside the river, steaming upward under the hot sun, and my lust came up when I swam across this small river, but not to the other side of the river.
Many have said that lust is self-awakening, but self-awakening lust is very late; it always goes on to the next season, and that season will not be summer; it will be, at best, that time when summer is going to pass.
Wasn’t my fourteen year old lust a summer in its prime? It cleverly woke up in that season. Men wore very little clothing in that season, and women wore very little, and during that season I would often wear only a pair of shorts, and when I swam inside the lake, I would sometimes take off even my shorts.
Fourteen years old, my head is not very tall, round face has heard many people praised beautiful, my eyebrows are very thick, eyes are not big, ears are square, fourteen years old me as if with twelve years old there is not much difference. At twelve years old, I didn’t seem to have any lust, but I had a desire to be close to girls, it was purely mental, and I often imagined seeing what was on a girl’s body. I was weaned when I was four years old, I slept in my mother’s arms until I was six, and I was accustomed to sleeping in her arms at night. At twelve, it must have been the early summer of lust, and one night when I was twelve, I was lying next to a girl about my age. Twelve years old, when it was early summer, the apples were green and the grapes had not yet blossomed.
Twelve years old, it was an evening in the fall, a moon watching day.
Fourteen years old, that afternoon, I was on this bank of the creek, in this field of reeds, I was catching a kind of green worm on the reed leaves, which looks like a leech, but is green all over, and can fly, and catching it back to put it in a cage to raise, and feed it to the pumpkin flowers, and it will scream at night or in the daytime, the sound is pleasant to the ear. Pumpkin usually bloom a lot of flowers, divided into male and female flowers, bright yellow flowers, there is a long stamen, that is, male flowers, female flowers, stamens like a small wild chrysanthemum, to pollinate the pumpkin, that is, pick the male flowers, the male stamen inserted in the pistil of the female.
There were many pumpkins growing behind our house, and I usually accompanied my mother to the back of the house to pollinate the pumpkins in the morning when the dew was thick. At a glance, the pumpkin patch was full of pumpkin flowers, yellow and pretty.
The pumpkin was all in bloom at night, and its blossoms were covered with dewdrops, and the water was beading on the stamens, and it was very crystalline, and it always evoked a lot of fanciful thoughts, and at the age of twelve I imagined it as an egg, a very soft egg, an egg without a shell, and there were two of those eggs on a twelve-year-old girl. On that fall evening, those two soft eggs were to die for.
The pumpkin flowers under the dew all look so delicate that the petals break off with a little force from the hand.
I very carefully picked those male pumpkin flowers, inserted in the pistil of the female, and then bring the extra male pumpkin flowers back to feed the barking insects to eat. That male pumpkin stamen, has a very strong fragrance, touch in the hand, a little fat sticky feeling, it makes people want to go.
The reason I go out into the reed fields on hot afternoons like this is because they are cooler than anything else, and they have so many exotic things in them, you’ll see big shrimp, and there are crabs crawling around underneath the reeds.
That afternoon, I heard the sound of tripping water in the reed field, I searched for the sound to find it, I saw Miss Lian walking along the edge of the reed field towards me, she seemed to be taken aback when she saw me, the bank across the creek was her family’s taro field, she was there to water the taro, which had to be watered every day. She greeted me and asked what I was doing, and I held up the barking insects in my hand to show her. She laughed and said I was still like a kid. Oh, fourteen, a child. I said yes, fourteen, but not a child. She laughed and I called her sister again and asked her how she was going to get across to the other side of the river, and she said to wait for the boat. I said why don’t you swim across, and she said it was hard to see with her clothes wet. I said there are not many people now, wet clothes will dry in a while. Miss Lian laughed, she said, you are still here ah. I laughed, I said I will not look. Lian girl’s face suddenly red, she said, she is not very good at swimming, this river she dare not swim. I said then you should wait for the boat. After waiting for a while, no boat came, the lotus girl seems a little anxious, she said, I swim over, you swim in front of pull my hand, bring me over.
I was a bit hesitant, Miss Lian said she couldn’t swim, how could I carry her, it was dangerous to carry someone in the water. Miss Lian seemed to see my doubt, she said, she can float on the water, just can’t swim.
I walked over and took her hand. Lian girl’s hand is not like the crop farmer’s hand is a little rough, very soft, pulling in my hand, I thought of that pumpkin stamen again. My eyes were fixed on her breasts, trying to find something, through the clothes, I could clearly see the bra inside, it was the light red kind with a pattern on it, underneath the pattern, those two breasts looked as if they were robust. She was in her twenties, a big girl, and those two breasts made me very eager, and in my eagerness I thought of that pumpkin stamen again, and was tempted to reach across. The softness of Lian’s hand in mine began to my body, it was inside my bones. We began to slowly go down to the water, the girl seems to be a little bit in the water to make strength, after two steps, her body suddenly crooked, scared to hurry to hold me, face on my neck, legs all up, hooked in my legs, like can’t find the ground. I suddenly tensed up, not the kind of nervousness that will drown, her thin clothes body all pasted on my body, I only wore a short pants, I felt a place suddenly began to swell, and her place, right on my position, although in the water, still feel a hot breath over.
I didn’t move, and there was an excitement in my swell that transmitted through my blood, a little desire to top off my clothes, to penetrate a Profound. That was my fourteen-year-old lust, and it was this summer. But the Lian girl got off of me, and I wondered if she felt that swell in me, if she realized that a hard stick was pressed against her somewhere. After she got off of me, I got up a little ashamed, feeling as if I had done something wrong, my face burning hot, and gradually that swell retracted. I once again took Lian girl’s hand well, and asked Lian girl still go over there? Lian girl this time looked at me, a little different, I again like a mistake, do not dare to look at Lian girl’s eyes. Lian girl said past, I went to the front to swim, Lian girl followed, I used all my strength, pulling her to swim across the river.
By the time I reached the other side of the river, I was able to stand on the bottom with my feet, and after giving Miss Lian another hard pull, telling her to stand still, she couldn’t stand on her feet again, and wobbled inside the water, losing her balance, and then wrapped her arms around my neck, her face pressed all over mine, her body entangled with mine. That swell in me started again, this time popping up almost as quickly. When I was twelve, it wasn’t as powerful as this, but it too swelled, a tiny tip. Now, I felt it powerful, and it mobilized my whole body to a very high level of passion. My whole body was in the water, and so was Miss Lian’s, which gave me some cover. As if I could not help myself, being controlled by another person, I put my hand on Miss Lian’s waist, gently rubbed it a few times, and then slowly slid into her shorts, reaching towards a certain place, at first tentatively, gradually downwards I let go of my guts, when I was almost at that place, Miss Lian suddenly grunted, but quickly reached out and grabbed my hand, preventing me from touching that spot.
My face started to burn red again, and I thought that Lian girl would blame me. However, that spot of mine was still on top of that spot of Lian girl’s, and she didn’t avoid it. I was still at a loss for words, Miss Lian held my hand and slowly slid it towards her breasts, I touched her breasts, elastic, soft in a kind of pleasure quickly anesthetized my mind. When I was twelve, that one was also soft and felt comfortable, but it didn’t convey that pleasure.
I was instantly a little hungry, rubbing it almost as hard as I could. It was too long a time to cross over from twelve to fourteen, and it often made me long for it in the quiet of the night. I put both hands over, rubbing her breasts, udders, as hard as I could together, and at the same time, another intense longing burned in me, and one of my hands began to slide downward again, and just as I got to that position, Miss Lian reached out again, stopping me. But that dong of mine was still powerfully pressed against that place of hers.
I was almost fainting inside the water, still desperately unwilling, one hand still trying to reach down. Suddenly, Miss Lian scattered me and ran towards the shore, her wet clothes all over her body, and she could see very clearly inside. I froze, watching her climb up the bank. The sun, overhead, was so hot that I stood in the water, not knowing whether to swim back to the other side or follow her ashore as well.
At fourteen, that’s how my lust came up, but it wasn’t answered that afternoon as I swam across that river. In fact, that bank was a few steps away, and as I looked at that green bank from inside the water, that large taro leaf, it suddenly reminded me of the leaf in front of Adam that leaf was easy to topple.
At night, I was in my room, walking back and forth restlessly. My mind was full of the excitement of the Lian girl pressed against me, there was a strange stirring inside my body, a place inside me that was full and swollen, and at the same time, a wonderful longing that was luring me in. At twelve, that longing wasn’t as strong, the reservoir still seemed to be empty, it just had an urge inside the consciousness. At twelve, that place of a girl’s seemed smooth, a little wet, and a little hotter than that soft egg. Inside the water, Lian girl’s place was also hot, or maybe I was hot there, so hot that I wanted to dissipate the heat.
It was hot in the room, mosquitoes were flying around but I couldn’t get out, the thing stayed hard, I didn’t know why it was so majestic, it embarrassed me. I couldn’t make it hide with the few summer clothes I wore.
I stood at the window and could look out over the lake in the moonlight, over the field of reeds, but the little river over the field of reeds was out of sight, and the green taro bank over there was even more out of sight. But the fluctuation of the lake caused me a very strong excitement, as if I was in the lake again, the pleasure in the lake seems to be climbing up again, it is strong around my heart, but stop in a certain position, not to mention that position is still how high. Fourteen years old, and that day still not knowing, what it was like to be in that position.
At that moment, I heard someone calling me from the window, a little girl’s voice, and I answered the call for her to come in. Fourteen years ago, that little girl, was in front of me today, her naked body undulating under mine, the snow was drifting outside, a layer of snow had piled up on the window, the outside of the house was completely surrounded by freezing cold, but the inside of the room was steaming hot.
The little girl, she came in and handed me a note, I even read it, a kind of excitement immediately let me hard to hold, I grabbed a sweatshirt and ran out, walked a few steps, suddenly turned back to look at the little girl, the little girl stood in the doorway, her eyes wide open, as if very surprised to look at me.
I did not linger any longer; the lust was burning me hard at this time. Fourteen years, that little girl in my memory does not have the slightest impression, fourteen years whether to see her again, I do not remember, but fourteen years, no doubt there is a dream has been lingering in the heart of this little girl, she came over today, with the love of fourteen years of brewing, embraced me, the person she dreamed of day and night.
I ran to that spot, that house, and there was someone in that house waiting for me. The door of the house was half hidden and I walked in, in the yard I saw Miss Lian walking towards me, I hardly thought at all, I walked up to her and hugged her tightly, but Miss Lian pushed me away with force and walked quickly towards the gate of the yard, closing it behind her. I then turned around and hugged her again, my hands flailing all over her body, my mouth nibbling all over her body not knowing what I was trying to find. Lian girl, however, forced me to walk towards the house step by step, when I reached the house, I saw a straw mat on the floor, so I hugged Lian girl and laid down on the floor, my hands quickly stripped Lian girl’s clothes down to nothing, hehe, that pair of firm breasts, that place that I wanted to touch several times today were all exposed to my eyes, my heart was beating wildly, but I wasn’t using my eyes right now, my body, my blood, my soul, all were crazily wanting to use them. My body, my blood, my soul, all of them wanted to kiss her like crazy, my head was buried in her breasts, my hands kept rubbing all over her body, my hands landed on that spot, that place that made my heart beat so strongly, Miss Lian reached out and pulled off my shorts, and for the first time, that firmness finally found the sensation that it was looking for…
At the age of twelve, it had walked to that same place, but it had not done so out of lust itself, but out of instinctive curiosity dictated. At the age of twelve, the feeling was meditative, it was experienced with the heart.
But then there was a knock on the door outside, and it was very ill-timed. My senses hadn’t reached that peak yet, my blood was pooling and rushing toward one place, like a torrent within a torrent, and I hadn’t completely melted myself away in my pleasure. I was still struggling against all odds against Miss Lian. But Lian girl was writhing to get out from under me, and I was clinging to her, desperately attacking somewhere deeper, trying to find that point of arousal to let myself melt away. Lian girl suddenly used a bit of force, lifting me over in one go, and then spoke softly to me, “Get dressed.”
I returned home, a little downcast, I was covered in several layers of sweat and my whole body was wet. I stood under the window, looking out of it at the moonlit lake, my thoughts still immersed in the crazy lust that had just passed, all the sensations had not been able to be enjoyed to the fullest, all it brought me was a kind of reminiscence, there were a lot of subtle pleasures stimulating my associations, the kind of tangible sensations that made my heart flutter, and in the depths of my mind, I was searching for the most perfect feeling of that kind.
Fourteen years old, that lust came so wildly.
Throughout the night, I was unable to sleep, my arms holding the Lotus girl, was in an empty imagination, my body and mind were burning like a blazing fire, and that thing on my body, it was also always firm there, in a strong accusation of its desire.
The next day, I knew that Miss Lotus would still be on that bank and in that taro patch. In the afternoon, I waited for her early in the reed field. The hot sun shone in the sky, the lake glittered with dazzling white waves, and the chirping of the mockingbirds in the reed field emphasized the heat of the summer, but the sun in my heart was even hotter, baking my heart, my blood, my flesh.
Finally, I waited for Miss Lian, my heart began to beat wildly, and my whole body followed the exuberance. But I didn’t move when Miss Lian came towards me, as if I was shy due to the high level of lust. When Miss Lian came closer to me, I went up to her and hugged her, and my hands began to wave all over her body again. The reeds were very dense, and even less people would come under the red-hot sun. Gradually I tried to rush into the place again, but there was water under my feet and no place to lie down. Miss Lian seemed to realize this, and she cupped my face, kissed me, and said, “My little ancestor, let’s swim there together.”
I pulled her to swim across the creek again, fourteen years old, it seems to have become a river for me to cross the lust. This time her body, is on top of me, the pair of breasts in my body rubbing, feel extremely wonderful, I did not forget to swim in the middle of the water, with a hand to kiss that pair of sexy breasts. We swam to the other side of the bank, hand in hand to climb up the bank. Taro field there is a sink, this time there is no water, half a person high taro leaves, this sink cover tightly. As soon as I arrived in the middle of this, I almost struggled to hold the lotus girl, three times two times, the two people on the wet clothes all ripped off.
My fourteen-year-old lust, like a thousand watery journeys, had finally come to an end, and the wild passion, the feeling of being in a state of ecstasy, the clouds and the fog, the blissfulness… From three to four o’clock in the afternoon until the sun went down and night fell, we went back to the taro field.
The tide had finally gone out, and there was a softness to the glistening light of the lake as I stood looking out the window at the lake in the stillness of midnight. The sky was brightly illuminated by the moon, and the banks of taro, large and small, spread out in the lake, looked dark green at this time of day, and all was so calm. Fourteen years old and walking through the day, it seemed like business as usual.
But by the afternoon of the second day, my mouth was dry again, and when I sat down at the window to look at the lake, the lake was lit by the blazing sun, and there was vapor steaming upward on the surface of the lake, which could be seen curling upward in the hot sun.
I walked out of my room and jumped into the water from a small bridge and swam towards a very far shore of the lake, it was at least a kilometer away. I fought to move both hands, fighting the lake for my energy, I had never swum there before. At fourteen, that shore was still too far away from me. But halfway through the swim, I turned a corner inside the water, and I swam back toward the field of reeds over there. The field of reeds was in front of me, and it seemed far away from me, but I could hear the sound of barking insects and robins in the field of reeds. The water in the field of reeds was cool, and in the field of reeds, the hot sun did not reach me.
I swam there and dug into the field of reeds, and a wave of shade immediately made me feel especially refreshed. But then I started to cross over to the other side at a fast pace, from this side to the other, which usually takes ten minutes. By this time, a longing had burned in my heart. In the field of reeds to speed up the pace, reed leaves stuck in the human body is very painful, not to mention now I am naked, reed leaves in my body stuck many red marks.
After I had crossed the field of reeds, I reached the little river in front of me, the still water glistening with calm burning water, and there was no one there. A little disappointed, I plunged headlong into the stream, held my breath, and let myself sink under the water for a good five minutes, surfaced, and, with a toss of my head, suddenly realized that there was someone standing on the edge of the reed field, and, scarcely able to think or cry out, I ran with great strides out of the water to her, and embraced her tightly. I am thirsty! I cried out as my hands flailed over her body. It was still the same hunger, still the same madness. In my ears I heard her softly calling, voicing my little ancestor, slow down, take it easy. Oh, how could I not rush, my blood was rushing again, my reservoir was still full, the dam swollen beyond belief, the gates under too much pressure, it was as if it was about to collapse!
I don’t know how long I’ve been going crazy on Lian girl, every movement, every frenzied nibble, wishing to sink myself all the way into Lian girl’s body in order to find that damned arousal of mine. It wasn’t me at this time, it was fourteen-year-old lust, it was someone else. The reeds around her were clattering, the water under her feet was making very choppy waves. Miss Lian seemed a bit unable to stand, she pushed me toward the creek, and while doing so, she bit the root of my ear and called me softly, “My little ancestor, go over there.”
Fourteen years old, the taro field is my lust bed, dense taro leaves cover us, let me enjoy that kind of shaking wonderful. In the hot summer days, the taro leaves do not pass a little wind underneath, we are dripping with sweat .
Fourteen years later, I returned to my hometown today, and outside the window I couldn’t see the lake, and the snow was heavy. That taro field has long been out of sight, and a tall building has been built on it. But in such a bitterly cold winter, I don’t have to find a piece of rocking bed, I’ve grown up, that little girl fourteen years ago has also grown up, after the crazy passion, we are able to slowly enjoy that delicate tenderness together, my hand is still gently caressing that pair of breasts, four legs entwined together, the bed padded with Simmons, my body covered by a light green cashmere quilt, and on the floor there is also a heater, this is my own room, no need to worry about my parents knocking on my door. Fourteen years ago, I also had my own room. Would my parents have knocked on my door then?
Fourteen years ago, I didn’t bring Miss Lian to the house, to my room. Fourteen years old, and it seemed a bit overwhelming when lust came.
Every afternoon, I was eager to go to the reed field, waiting for Miss Lian on the edge of the creek, and in Miss Lian’s naked arms, I was like a capricious and pampered child, recklessly spreading my lust.
Every time, when I calmed down and crouched in Miss Lian’s arms to dream, Miss Lian always slowly combed my hair and gently said, “My little ancestor, you’ve tossed Sister Lian to death.”
Fourteen years old, that summer was so scorching.
The next two days left, I was going to start school. I was getting a little restless around Miss Lian, and I thought about how I was going to leave her, away from my lust. I greedily every part of her body carefully look at, every place are carefully stroked countless times, my crazy lust began to be filled with a kind of warmth, is fourteen years old, meticulous warmth, love is full of my sad eyes. But the lotus girl said: “you are still young, you want to lotus sister when you come back to see lotus sister.”
I’m not a little boy anymore, I’m fourteen years old. Is lust this crazy at fourteen? I’m not a boy anymore, I’m not a boy anymore when I swim across this creek, lust has made me grow up, I’ve got hurt feelings, I’ve got attempts, I’ve got the ability to go into the depths of a woman’s mind with lust in front of her, I’m a man now.
When I was twelve, I was just a boy.
The beginning of the school year seems to be very busy, there are a lot of summer vacation homework I did not do, the first week, I every day in the summer vacation homework, the next week, the teacher sent a pile of papers down, surprise on the first year of high school to learn the content of the review to improve. I felt dizzy every day, unable to concentrate my mind, I often thought of the lake, the creek, the taro patch across the reed field. I sometimes wondered in my mind if the person lying next to the lotus girl was me. But at night, I lie in bed, my mind is full of the lotus girl, that pair of elastic breasts, that breast under the milky white skin, there is a kind of irresistible charm and aroused my lust, in the dark room, in my narrow mosquito net, my fourteen-year-old prick, pointing straight up in the air.
Finally, it was the National Day, and the school was on a three-day vacation. I impatiently headed home as soon as school ended that day. In this month, day by day, the lust burned me hard. Along the way, I was thinking about how to meet Miss Lian, I kind of go to embrace her, how to go to her kiss, and how to let my lust again to indulge in a joy. When I arrived at home, but suddenly learned that the lotus girl has and boyfriend to the outside of the big city to go to work.
In the evening, I stood at the window, looking out over the lake in the distance, over the field of reeds, over the creek and the taro patch that I couldn’t see behind the field of reeds, and I shed silent tears under the window. She had left me behind, I was still a child in her eyes, a fourteen year old boy, and my fourteen year old lover had ended up with me just like that, in this summer. The lake had turned cold, the taro leaves were all dead and fallen to the ground, rushes were beginning to drift across the lake, it was fall, and I wasn’t fourteen anymore!
I have not seen Sister Lian again in fourteen years; fourteen years ago she awakened in me someone who has never slept again. She gave me that summer, and that summer was one of the hottest summers ever, thirty-seven degrees every day, and I haven’t had another summer like that in fourteen years. I went back to school and found someone for the one I had in me, the object of my lust, who had been my lover all through middle school. Often in a deserted classroom, on a corner of the campus, that person would go crazy, reckless crazy. I went to college while my lover was in another city, and I found another person in college for my one. There was a hill on the college campus, a hill full of trees, flowers blooming in all seasons, I loved to go to that hill, it was in the evening, with my lover on that hill, that person in me would go crazy again, as crazy as crazy.
Later, my college sweetheart graduated a year ahead of me, and she went to Beijing, and I was in the south, and I couldn’t visit her often. When she left I remembered that in the school health center, there was a pretty little nurse who had borrowed a book from me when I was sick, and on campus I understood what it meant for a little nurse to borrow a book from me. I managed to get myself sick one more time, and in my hospital bed, I said “Here Dawns a Quiet Night” to that little nurse, and “Chamilia” and “The Gypsies,” and on the third night, the little nurse lay in my hospital bed. After I graduated from college, another beautiful girl jumped in beside me…
Fourteen years have passed, these fourteen years, I have been looking for that summer, fourteen years ago that summer, it is hot and mesmerizing, intoxicating. Fourteen years later, it was on this snowy night, I folded open an envelope that had been wrapped for fourteen years, a love that had been brewed for fourteen years, and it was as if it had brought me into that summer again, and there was that serenity behind my crazy lust.