(Laughs in Restricted) The chaos of the laughs shall be a lesson to all men of good will.
“It was luck, or good fortune, that led me to meet the first female online friend of my life on the net.”
This is the heart has been repeating a sentence, reminding themselves: in this sea of network, to get her response is rare, to know how to cherish this hard-won feeling, this is my view at that time.
About three months ago, in a website’s message board to see a dating message, look at her response to the number of articles, there are more than a hundred, I also according to my customary casually leave a simple message, because I know that usually like this kind of message are like a stone sinking into the sea as the same, there will not be any echo, so also did not hang on the heart.
But about a week or so later, I still as usual nothing to open the computer, play with electric or on the Internet, see what gossip or to the erotic Web site to see some pornographic photos. But that day was different, I accidentally in my mailbox, I saw a I look forward to a long time, and has been hoping to receive the mail, at first do not dare to believe, but it is really someone on my message has responded.
I almost forgot who this person was because I had left different messages for too many people, and I didn’t know what to do. In a hurry, I searched through all the websites I had been to, and all the message boards I knew about, but I just couldn’t find her original information and the messages I had left at that time.
I was afraid of making a mistake, because my message range included, dating, one night stand or assistance, that’s why I was in a hurry to find the original information. With no other choice, I had to return a very sincere mail to her and tell her my problem and also hope that she would understand.
I received a reply from her the next day, saying that she understood, but that she was only interested in dating, and that she would not talk about anything else. After learning of her aptitude, I was much more comfortable, and under these circumstances, we began a daily exchange of at least one e-mail between us.
With her dating this time is very pleasant, the sky and the north and south of what to chat, up to the heavenly court down to the hell, a variety of topics and talk about endless mood stories, even she has taken the initiative to talk about her boudoir secret things, sometimes really by her heart itchy strange difficult. But honestly, I myself quite like, and with her communication this time can feel vaguely, she seems to have a lot of suitors around, in the case of fear of being first, I finally raised the courage to take the initiative to ask her to meet, but the result is really no news.
At that time, I was really regretful, I would rather have a friend who brings me joy every day than to lose such a talkative friend forever because of a momentary fear of letting someone beat me to the punch. I regretted violating the agreement not to meet, so I still wrote her at least one letter a day begging for forgiveness and telling her that I was willing to keep my promise, but I still didn’t hear back.
I was quite frustrated and unmotivated to do anything, I just stayed at my computer every day just to be the first to get an email from her.
I looked forward to it every day, I believe she will not just so just ignore me, the emperor is not to be disappointed, I waited eight days, finally let me wait, I rushed to look at my long-awaited letter, and at the end of the she also attached a picture of her.
It was the first time I’d seen her look like that in the three months or so I’d known her, and it took me so much by surprise that it was a far cry from what I’d imagined, but at this point it didn’t matter what it was, as long as she was still willing to pay attention to me I didn’t care about anything.
What surprised me was not only that, she told me that she wanted to take a walk in Kenting recently and asked if I would like to accompany her. She asked me if I would go with her, but with the condition that she wanted to meet me first. In this case, of course I was willing to, I seemed to dare not go against any of her wishes at that time, for fear that she would disappear again without a trace.
In order to meet her, I immediately decided to sell the car I had been driving for over four years in a hurry for a very cheap price and then bought another brand new top of the line motorhome as fast as I could. Maybe it was a bit of an exaggeration, but I did, in order to just make a better impression on her.
The appointed time finally arrived, I drove my new car to the appointed place, parked the car and waited for her to arrive. As promised, she wouldn’t show up, but just stood in the distance and looked at me. It was really hard to wait, especially when I was being watched like a monkey in a zoo.
The phone rang, and a very sweet and a bit naughty voice came from the other end of the line. She told me that she had already arrived and had met me, and she asked me directly and boldly if I had any problem leaving for Kenting tomorrow. She asked me directly and boldly if I had any problem leaving for Kenting tomorrow! Luckily, I didn’t have much work to do at that time, otherwise, how could I just leave?
After thinking about it for a moment, I told her it was okay.
The next step was even more desperate, she said that going to Kenting with me was just purely for fun, and told me not to have any reverie, and that she wouldn’t have any relationship with me, and that she hoped I wouldn’t think of her too casually, or else I’d be very disappointed.
Of course… I knew that. I had fantasized about it, but I knew it was impossible. How can you have sex the first time you meet someone? Besides, I’ve seen her photos, and she’s definitely not my type. But to be honest, I wouldn’t say no if I wanted to. Besides, she and I are really quite compatible.
What followed was another series of appointments, which consisted of nothing more than the usual girl safety concerns. Most notably, she asked me to carry a copy of my ID card and a copy of my health insurance card with me. Heh heh heh… special, isn’t it?
At first I wondered about this, but she told me that I would find out when we met. In that case, I didn’t ask any further questions, thinking: it’s not for her anyway, so it shouldn’t matter! What’s there to be afraid of? So she cut the call.
When I got home, I lay in bed and tossed and turned, thinking about her agreement, I was in a cold sweat. If I had bullied her for nothing, wow… I would have died a horrible death. It’s no wonder that girls have more worries. Luckily, I didn’t have any bad intentions, so what the heck, let’s just let it happen!
It was hard to stay up until dawn, I hurriedly put on my most handsome casual clothes, hastily wash up, drive my new car, to the car wash factory to wash the car and organize the interior, rare trip I was really excited to the extreme.
After the car is organized, rushed to the Chongqing South Road Qicong school waiting for my long-awaited first meeting, the heart has been thinking: the first sentence to say what? Will it be awkward?
I waited for a long time, but I couldn’t see her, it was already almost 8:30, she was already late for almost 30 minutes, but I still waited patiently. The pedestrians on the road were getting more and more, and I watched every one of them, hoping that she would be the one, but every time, they just passed by, and none of them stayed beside my car.
Time passed by, nine o’clock or did not appear, then quite regret why did not insist on her phone. Just when I was discouraged, I suddenly felt that someone had stopped by my car, and without saying a word, I opened the door and got out of the car. But when I saw that person, the first thing I felt in my heart was: ‘It can’t be her!
I quickly swallowed back the words that were about to come out of my mouth, and retracted my body to get into the car immediately, thinking: ‘How can this be possible? The person standing beside my car was at least 80 kilograms (later confirmed to be 92.5 kilograms), and her whole body was mainly fat, with very dark skin, a standard fat, dark and ugly woman. How could it be her? She was a different person from the one in the photo!
But the proof was in the pudding, as my door was opened and a dark, bulky thing squeezed its way into my new car. My heart ached because as she sat down on her butt, I felt my car desperately crying out, “Help!” The pain is that the shock she brought to me is far greater than the 9.21 casualties. It hurt because she had always emphasized that she had never disgraced her ex-boyfriend; it hurt even more because she had always emphasized to me that she was gentle, lovely, and very popular with men.
I froze, I was dumbfounded, everything will not know how to clean up. My eyes were wide open, my mouth wide open, and I was thinking to myself: Is it possible? This sitting next to me, the black, huge thing is the person who let me every day to hold on to the heart of the people? The person sitting next to me is really the person that I think about every day and look forward to every night?
While I was still in a state of shock, I suddenly heard in my ear that… it was even cuter than you imagined, wasn’t it?
“Oh God… help… life… ah…” How in heaven’s name could there be such a shameless narcissist? I laughed bitterly and couldn’t say a word in reply, so I just stood there, not knowing what to do.
Maybe it’s her natural optimism, then she said, “Why don’t you hurry up and get going? Otherwise, it will be too late to get a room in Kenting!”
Now it was definitely her, ‘God… ㄚ, who’s going to help me? I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to go with her! My heart cried out in agony, but I couldn’t think of a single reason not to go.
At this point, I can’t help but regret a little bit why I traded in my old car in the first place. Otherwise, I could have said that I had to stop because it was too heavy for two people. Well… no matter, there was nothing more I could say, and this was what I’d been waiting for, wasn’t it? It was just a fun trip anyway. Four days and three nights… it was just a matter of gritting my teeth, and then it was over.
So the four-day, three-night trip to Kenting set off, from Taipei to Kenting is not an easy journey, along the way I thought back to me and her previous bits and pieces, especially remembered that she was describing her and her ex-boyfriend’s secret room, which is a period of time to make me confused, want to get into the wrong, can not sleep for several days of sex stories, I used to fantasize: I was that man that would be so good!
Now… I hurriedly pulled over to the shoulder of the road, got out of the car… and vomited violently. “Have you ever heard of a driver getting carsick?” That’s what I told her, and she really believed what I said, it was absolutely amazing.
When the car drove to Hsinchu Interchange, she suddenly asked to get off the highway and look for the post office box, and indicated that she wanted to send a letter to her friend, I followed her instructions and found the post office box and stopped the car, oh my god! The unthinkable happened again. She asked me for the copies of her ID card and health insurance card that she had asked me to prepare beforehand, and took out the stamped envelope from her purse, and told me that she wanted her friends to know who she was going out with, and that if she was in any kind of trouble, they should call the police directly to find me.
I don’t know… I don’t know… Never mind… It’s the right thing to do to protect yourself, but I think I should be the one to inform my friends, not her!
Along the way from the south to the north of her topic constantly, a little bit will not let me that ignore, and very cold silent expression affected. To be honest, I really admire her gossip skills and optimistic personality, she can talk about herself and laugh for thirty minutes without stopping, also admire her energy over people.
In this way, she laughed all the way to Kenting, and also energetic; and I also gradually by her optimistic personality by the sense of leakage, but I’m really almost tired, all the way from Taipei kill to Kenting, due to traffic congestion relationship spent nearly twelve hours, and now I just want to hurry to find a hotel to sleep for four days and three nights, and then drove back to Taipei to end the travel this time.
But things did not imagine smooth, because Kenting at this time is the peak season, we could not find any hotel with a vacant room, we drove along the main road to look for, large and small hotels almost all asked, still can not find. At the same time in the disappointment, vaguely seen from a very small alley inside, as if there is a small hotel we have not asked, holding the mood to try to park the car outside the alley, dragging the tired body to the depths of the alley.
As we walked, a couple came from the opposite side of the street, and when I carefully looked at the man, no matter his size or appearance, he was definitely below me; when I looked at the girl beside him, I found that they were also looking at us with very surprised eyes, which made me involuntarily put my head down and turned my head to look at the one who was holding my right hand with both of his hands tightly. OMG! What have I done to deserve to be punished like this?
When we arrived at the hostel, the desk clerk told me they had another room, but it was very small and asked if we wanted to rent it. At that time, I thought to myself: we had agreed that we must have two rooms, otherwise she would rather go home immediately. At this time, my spirit to come, because there is a possibility of an early end to this painful trip, I was fully concentrated on watching her every move, as long as she is not willing, I have the opportunity to put forward the reason to go home.
Time didn’t linger for a few seconds as she quickly replied, “Yes.” Oh my god! What about the agreement? What… what… what am I supposed to do? I’m not supposed to sleep in the same bed with her, am I?
In my haste, I quickly continued, “Then I’ll sleep in the car.” I told her so, and she replied, “No, you’re so tired from driving, just hit the floor in your room.” She had a conscience, so I agreed, because I really didn’t want to argue with her about where to sleep in front of the counter, and just wanted to get out. I quickly continued, “Then I’ll sleep in the car.” I told her so, and she replied, “No, you’re so tired from driving, just hit the floor in your room. I quickly continued, “Then I’ll sleep in the car.” I told her so, and she replied, “No, you’re so tired from driving, just hit the floor in your room. of there I told her so, and she replied, “No, you’re so tired from driving, just hit the floor in your room.” of there, because there were still a lot of tourists in front of the counter, and I vaguely heard someone say, “ㄝ ㄝ, you’ve got a good appetite.” I was so I was so I was so I was so embarrassed.
Once I got to the room, I realized that it was impossible for her to do the flooring… The room was really small, with only a double bed and a walkway that could only accommodate one person, making it a bit difficult even for me to hit the floor. But I was so tired that I grabbed a pillow and a quilt and prepared to hit the floor for the night without saying a word.
But she said, “The bed is so big, why would you abuse yourself?” And she was sure I wouldn’t bully her.
Geez! Although I don’t have very high requirements for women, I do have certain standards, what I’m afraid of is not that I’ll suddenly have an animalistic outburst to take advantage of her, but I’m afraid that if I sleep in the same bed with her, and I’m accidentally pressed down by one of her feet, I may be in danger of breaking a bone, so I made up a whole bunch of reasons why I didn’t want to go to bed with her, but in the end I couldn’t defeat her mouth that was very good at gossiping.
I was very reluctant to go to bed, but really too tired, not long after I fell asleep, but vaguely still hear a very noisy sound, reluctantly open your eyes to the direction of the sound to see, is the bathroom, is the sound from the bathroom. The bathroom is brightly lit, the door is half-open, the sound of water coming from the shower and the subtle sound of singing, I am too sleepy, no matter what she, close your eyes and continue to sleep.
I don’t know how much time passed, but suddenly I had a feeling I can’t describe, as if the house had collapsed and I was crushed underneath it, an agonizing sensation of being unable to lift myself up and having difficulty breathing. I struggled to open my eyes again, and in the faint light, oh, my God…
It was amazing that one of her cartwheels caused me such pain, and I struggled as hard as I could to get out from under her fat feet.
Just then, a strong and powerful claw reached out to me again, and held me so tightly that I didn’t even have any leeway to fight. At the same time I realized that she was only wearing a half-robe shaped, low-cut, pure silk nightgown with nothing underneath, let alone underwear or panties.
I was furious and questioned her: “Enough, if you do not let go of me, I will turn my face.” But half a day can not be answered, just the more I struggle she is the more forceful tightly embraced me, I am like a big stick of meat as her tightly clamped can not move.
So held up for about five minutes, suddenly she opened her mouth and said: “Give you a chance to do it or not?” Just before I had time to answer, her other hand has grabbed me below the important part, I did not even have the opportunity to dodge, so hard by her through my pants pulled my root.
I didn’t dare to struggle anymore, I didn’t dare to resist any more with any big movements, I was deeply afraid that if I wasn’t careful, my baby would be hurt or pulled off due to my improper exertion, because she was pulling really hard and precisely on that important head of mine again. What could I do at this point? I could only remain silent. Who asked me to leave my dick in someone else’s hands? Anyway, it was just a one-time thing, so I thought of it as being pressed by a ghost.
Normally I can get it off in about 20 minutes a time, so I thought, “What’s the big deal?” I thought, “If I can hold it off for 20 minutes, everything should be fine. But I don’t know if I had no sex drive at all or I was too shocked, but I couldn’t get it up at all, and she did everything she could to get it up in any way you could think of.
I was secretly glad to escape this, she had a trick, she no longer use her body to forcefully press me, also no longer use her feet tightly clamped me, but her hand still did not leave my head, began to use a more moderate attitude, narrated I have never heard, extremely fragrant and very exciting hot sex story, at the same time, her hand also kept moving up and down.
I can’t deny that feeling is a great life pleasure, but underneath the premise is that you have to close your eyes to experience that feeling.
I don’t want to talk about the process, but I still have palpitations about the greasy feeling. The whole process, excluding the preamble, from entering to abandoning the armor took a total of nearly 120 minutes, greatly breaking my original record, but also refreshed the record I know. I don’t know why, but every time I reached the finish line, I saw her face unintentionally, which made me ready to go to the top, and all of a sudden, I fell to the bottom, and I had to start all over again.
Ladies and Gentlemen, have you ever been in the middle of sex and suddenly gone limp? I don’t know how to say this, I can only say that this is my longest time, but also my most painful time. The next day, I found that my head was peeling off a layer of skin and bleeding, and when the blood dried up, it even stuck my underwear to the head, which hurt so much! It hurt so much! Especially when I had to tear my underwear off my head.
All I can say now is that I made it through and came back safe and sound, and it’s all in the past.
Back for more than a week, I do not know how to evaluate this whole thing in the end, that she cheated and as if there is no, she gave a photo of myself is not wrong, just three years ago; as for her height, weight and looks, she did not deliberately hide from me, it is my own did not ask clearly; that she was very cute, is also true, is that I neglected, she refers to the personality rather than appearance; that she has a lot of suitors, is also true, because she refers to the Internet, is that I did not notice; and the bed thing can not be entirely blamed on her, she just catered to my previous correspondence with the requirements put forward just She said she had a lot of suitors, but I didn’t realize it because she was referring to the Internet; and I can’t blame her for the bed thing, she was just catering to the request I made when I corresponded with her.
Before and she also often talk about sex, I have also said that there is a chance also want to have a time with her, this is what I once said, at first she also said that if there is a chance, she will not be excluded, just I forgot, because at first just as a joke, did not put it on the heart, now this is only their own to bear.
It’s good to be back, but I don’t think I’ll ever have the guts for a so-called “one-night stand on the Internet” again. I’ll leave the good ones to you! I abstain. I’m done!
I’ve finished, and I’ve worked hard for you guys, so I apologize for any inconvenience.