Childhood of Disorientation


(i)

I stood on the roof of a tall building, the city below me was dimly lit, and the evening breeze of November was blowing dully, so I put up my collar and listened to the breath of the night. My mind was drenched in the cold darkness… I had almost forgotten how I spent my childhood. When I was in the third grade of elementary school, I got hooked on Liang Yusheng’s novels, and gradually became interested in martial arts movies that involved fighting and killing. At that time, the video halls were the most popular entertainment places in the city, and they played some martial arts and gunfighting movies from Hong Kong and Taiwan, and occasionally a little bit of foreign literature and art, but there was absolutely no nudity or sex scenes.

But this changed gradually, and by the time I was in the fourth grade of elementary school, I remember that the hall I frequented once showed a movie entitled “1990 Hong Kong Call Girls”. I didn’t have the courage to go and see it at that time, but thinking about it now, maybe if I had gone in and seen it at that time, I might have been amazed. But soon that opportunity came.

I remember it was a sunny day and a Saturday. As usual, Feng and I went to the development area on the west side of the city, on the second floor of the farmers’ market where all the video halls (there were only two at that time) in this small town were concentrated. We went to the door of the hall that we usually like to go to see, first look at the sign hanging outside, there is a film called “seven days of love”, the video cover on a beautiful woman wearing a three-pointed is very seductive. I remember staring at those plump breasts wrapped in a tiny bra, my heart thumping and my head going blank.

Red-faced, we didn’t dare linger too long in that doorway, and, shoving our money into the owner’s arms, we scurried in like thieves.

When the video first started, we were in a state of high tension and excitement. For two 11 year olds, the future was full of mystery and excitement. Time was passing rapidly, and the movie had yet to show the plot we were waiting for; whenever the man and woman embraced and started flirting, the movie jumped to the next episode (which, as we all now understand, was cut).

Of course, I wasn’t disappointed, there was an episode where the hero shoved a banknote into the cleavage of one of the waitresses, that was the first time I’d ever seen an area that big, and I almost saw the nipple. Unfortunately Fung was gone by this time and he ran out of patience after sitting there for less than half an hour. This was already a breakthrough for me, but the fun wasn’t over yet.

Just as the play was drawing to a close, I wondered if the man who cut the movie had been merciful, and actually gave me an even more unexpected reward. The hero and heroine were having their final intercourse, and the woman was lying on the grass, her naked upper body on display in front of me. To this day I still remember her contented expression, and those breasts, hung with beads of sweat, not big, but very round, the color is the darker kind, delicate firm.

Her nipples were the center of my vision, I remember they were dark red and somewhat large. The whole shot lasted about a minute, and at the end the woman ran naked down to the beach, leaving me with her entire back and buttocks, which were unfortunately too far away for me to see more than an outline.

Later, I told Ah Feng, he was probably “jealous” of me, and even threatened to go to the teacher to tell me that I watched pornography, although he did not do that, but he and I gradually distanced ourselves from each other. That was my first experience with pornography.

In the days to come, there were more and more video parlors in town, and there were more and more of those movies. I still went there often, just more carefully, afraid of being seen by my parents’ acquaintances. The only time I was noteworthy was a martial arts movie I watched.

Before that, I already had more sensory knowledge of women’s breasts, but that part of the body was still so mysterious to me. Because the “pornographic movies” at that time only showed breasts and buttocks, I gradually became dissatisfied. I always thought it was just an ordinary martial arts movie, but when a woman wearing a three-pointed dress appeared in the movie, I vaguely felt that it was not so simple.

Sure enough, the scene I had been waiting for appeared. The killer and his mistress began to flirt and undressed, leaving the woman in nothing but her bra and panties. Her panties were white, with white patterned lace piping, the triangle was slightly bulging, vaguely as if it had a fuzzy black shadow, reflecting the slim waist, her thighs were well-proportioned, as tantalizing as Xiao Qiang’s pantyhose advertisements.

My breath began to catch and I didn’t realize that the woman was slowly removing her bra, I felt a surge of luck because this was a martial arts movie after all. The killer began to fondle the woman’s breasts, sucking on that nipple, and everything went just as I expected. Then the two of them intertwined their limbs, and the man actually reached out to remove the woman’s panties, and my heart was in my throat.

I saw those hands grabbing the edge of the white panties and pulling them down, bit by bit, the flat belly gradually revealed. I remember how excited I was at the sight of the handful of black pubic hair, my cock almost bursting through my pants. When all of my vulva was revealed, my first thought was of a delicious scone. I thought to myself, “This is what a woman’s private part looks like!

Time rushes, unknowingly to the summer vacation of the fifth grade, this summer, I followed my parents in Wuhan by boat to the Three Gorges to travel. The day we boarded the boat, the sky was gray and cloudy, and it was vaguely going to rain. I didn’t expect the sun to come out the next day when the boat entered Xiling Gorge.

A man walked to the bow of the ship and saw a few foreigners sunbathing, all old men and women, nothing to see, so he went back to his cabin to sleep.

We were in second class and a young woman in her late thirties was sharing our cabin, she was somewhat good looking and although rather thin, you could tell she was quite plump. She was wearing a light blue dress, and if you looked closely you could see the outline of a white bra and panties. I always acted childish (I was actually a child), and she was almost completely unsuspecting of me. For example, when I was sweeping the floor in her room and buried my head, the piece of clothing in front of my breasts was hanging down, and I had the courage to look at it, and oh my God! That tightly wrapped in a pair of bras in the huge breasts almost by me a glimpse, I was confused a mess, half a day to get back to God.

As you know, the construction of a ship is similar to an airplane in that it has to be as light as possible, so the cabins are usually made of lighter metals and the “walls” have to be as thin as possible. The ship we were on was quite old and had been in service for quite a few years. I found that due to long-term corrosion and aging, the thin walls of many cabins had small holes that were not easy to see. This discovery made my heart wild with joy, and I stood by the side of the ship as excited as if Columbus had discovered the New World in those days.

(By the way, the friend who is watching this piece of bad work: in fact, the opportunity is not no, but a lot of opportunities; opportunities are not fleeting, but always appear.) Good at discovering opportunities, brainstorming, will often have unexpected gains.)

Coincidentally, the restrooms on this ship are not gender-segregated, and there are several single stalls next to each other. So I carefully searched in those rooms, and finally found that the center of the left wall there is a small undetectable eye, through which you can just see the inside of the left toilet. I believe we all know how to do the rest!

I skulked around the outside of the toilet for a while, and finally a woman came this way and entered the middle one, and as soon as she closed the door, I immediately rushed into the one on the left at a speed of 100 meters. I let out a deep breath, and then carefully put my eye up, to my disappointment, because that eye is really too small, I can only see the part of the woman’s head, and there is no special expression when she is convenient. Later, after she left, I looked again, but I didn’t find any other small eyes.

If the toilet doesn’t work, let’s look at the bathroom! Sure enough, the bathrooms are also next to each other. In summer, it is easy to sweat, so there are a lot of people bathing, fortunately, it is also a single room, not a public one. It was hard to wait for a bathroom, quickly went in, first undressed, took a shower, and then slowly looked up in the small but still clean bathroom.

It didn’t take long for the battle to be won, there was a small hole right in the center of the wall next to the bathroom next to it. At this point the steam from the bathroom was steaming up and foggy, my heart was pounding, and the sound of water falling from a rosette and a woman talking came from the bathroom next to me. Mind you, that little hole was easy to spot, and if I was spotted? I shuddered to think about it, but couldn’t help but look.

By this time I had already decided that it was a mother and daughter next door based on the sound of the talking, and after a fierce but brief struggle of ideas, I decided to take the risk. By means of the misty fog, I held my breath, moved my feet slowly, and then very cautiously moved my eyes up.

My eyes just passed through the small hole, and a scene that I will never forget was staged. Only to see two snow-white naked bodies appeared in front of me. The direction of their shower was just back to me, so I could enjoy them with confidence and boldness. At first I could only see their backsides, the one in her thirties was more voluptuous, with round and large buttocks. Her daughter was about 10 years old, with smooth skin, but too petite to have begun to develop at all.

It was the first time in my life that I had actually seen a woman naked, including breasts and buttocks. Then they started to turn, and by this time my eyes were fully focused on the young woman. Her breasts weren’t huge, but they looked relatively round and fleshy, especially the nipples were so dark in color that you wanted to rush up and bite them twice. Her pussy was just like the one I had seen in the video (vulva, of course, there was no porn back then), with a light tuft of pubic hair growing.

I wonder if women in the shower are fond of rubbing their breasts? Anyway, at that time I saw that young woman put soap on her breasts and then rub them very carefully and hard. If you just look at that part, it’s similar to a man touching a woman in a third grade movie.

In that tiny bathroom, I was so excited that I almost exploded. If I knew how to jerk off at that time (even if I did, I couldn’t do it at that time because I was not developed at all!) ), I’m sure I would have gone a few rounds.

Along the beautifully curved stomach, down the slightly raised belly, and down the dark, shiny black forest. The hot water was rushing over her, and she was so oblivious to the comfort of washing her body and the pleasure of touching her private parts that she probably couldn’t hear the wolf’s whimpering next door!

The young woman washed, then to the bath towel to wipe away water droplets all over the body, reached out on the ledge to take the blasphemous pants, is pink and white, a foot set on, change the other foot, slowly pull up, cover the piece of black forest. But perhaps this high-waisted panties texture is too thin, the black forest gradually released droplets of water, seems to be reluctant  to be wrapped in this, and slowly in the panties traced out the dark fuzzy outline. She straightened her hair, and turned around to remove the bra, from the front through, adjust the straps, two hands back to buckle the back buckle, at this moment her peaks have been included in the pink and white cups, but also seems to be reluctant, the bra will be propped up in a beautiful arc.

Unfortunately, just as I was approaching insanity, there was a knock on my door telling me to wash faster. I panicked and hurriedly put on my clothes and fled. When I got back, I stayed in bed until dinner.

After a few days of calm, daytime sightseeing ashore, and at night back to the boat to sleep. Occasionally, I sneak a peek at the young woman in the same room, but unfortunately she always sleeps without undressing and with a sheet over her head, so by some fluke, I can only look at the bra.

But one night she came back from the shower and quickly went to bed, not washing her change of clothes, but putting them in a basin under her bed, presumably ready to be washed the next morning. When they were all asleep, I sneaked up and gently carried the basin to the toilet. There wasn’t much in the basin, but it was all precious: a pair of panties and a pair of bras, still wet!

I looked up carefully, pure white with lace bra, it was a medium, and I couldn’t smell anything special.

But it was my first time touching a woman’s intimate, so I was still excited. The white nylon blend panties, when brought up to my nose and inhaled, I could distinctly smell the stench of urine. But to my disappointment, there was no pubic hair left on it. I didn’t dare to look at it more, hurriedly put the basin back to its original place, and then went to bed as if nothing had happened.

When I got up the next day I pushed open the door and the sun shone down through the canyon right onto the underwear hanging out to dry.

I couldn’t help but smile in triumph as I looked at the areas I had fondled last night.

The unforgettable trip to the Three Gorges soon came to an end. Soon I finished elementary school and moved to a major middle school for junior high. A new story began…

(unfinished business, to be continued)