Back then, Cao Xueqin in his masterpiece “Dream of the Red Chamber”, with a witty handwriting describes a countrywoman Liu Lou Lou visited the beautiful Houmen deep courtyard “Grand View Garden”, due to the richness of the scene only seen in his life, so that caused a lot of jokes.
Now, with the return of Hong Kong to China, many domestic cadres have gone to Hong Kong to take up jobs and have gained the Dragon Gate, doubling their value and becoming powerful managers.
As the old saying goes, “Warmth brings lust”, so when one comes to this flowery world of Hong Kong, it is inevitable that one has to go to the “golden lair” to enjoy a little bit of tenderness, but little did one know that it would lead to a joke that one could not help but laugh at… There was a cousin surnamed Liu… who used to be a local cadre in China… and had worked as a county party secretary in a certain county. He used to be a local cadre in China, and was once the secretary of a county committee in a certain county. Early this year, he was lucky enough to be blown to Hong Kong by a strange wind, and became the manager of a state-run “mosquito type” company.
He was very shabby when he arrived in Hong Kong, with simple clothing, food and shelter, but soon after, his fortune came and he wore designer goods.
People rely on clothes, once packaged up, it seems that he is not only a few years younger, walking also become energetic, the company’s “comrades” are whispering to him, commenting on him, saying that when he arrived at the office is a “cousin”, but now it is different.
What’s the difference? It turns out that these “comrades” call him Liu Dafu in private.
Since Liu Dafu has “enriched” the quality of life, he is most happy not the company’s business, every day is busy with socializing with Hong Kong businessmen, drinking and eating, karaoke nightclubs, boneyards, often see his shadow.
Once, he was half-drunk in a karaoke club, and a Hong Kong businessman asked him, “Old Liu, you hang out in this kind of place every night, aren’t you afraid that your superiors will audit your performance?”
When he heard this, his eyes widened and he said, “I am the first person in the company, who can control me?”
At the time, some people saw him with such a big mouth, and then they laughed and laughed.
These laughs represent what, he naturally do not know, honestly, if this group of Hong Kong businessmen are not in some way to ask him, they will not be so stupid, often invited him to this kind of place to spend days and drinks, for this reality Du will, ridiculous he did not know at all.
Another time, a Hong Kong businessman surnamed Huang entrusted Liu Dafu to do a thing, he immediately opened the door and said: “Yes, but what benefits you give me?”
The old yellow smiled and said: “We are good friends, what do you want? Why don’t you just say it?”
Liu Dafu then put up five fingers and said: “How about you give me fifty thousand dollars?”
Old Huang saw that he had already opened the plate, and immediately said, “Good, no problem, after the matter is accomplished, I will also give you another gift.”
Seeing that he was so forthcoming, Liu Dafu asked, “What kind of gift are you going to give me?”
Old Huang knew he was insatiable, so he said: “I will give you a solid gold Rolex, are you satisfied?”
Liu Dafu heard the other side said to send him a “Jinlao”, instantly happy and forgetful, the appearance of all lost, even with the old Huang brother.
Afterward, Lao Huang said to some friends: “There are many ways to fish, if you catch continental fish, the bait is small enough.”
That’s a humorous statement on his part.
However, not every one of these “local communists” from the Mainland is like LAU Tai-fu, who is like a horse bred by Bole, whose horses include both thousand-mile colts and black sheep.
The likes of Liu Dafu is naturally a bad “horse”.
There is a Hong Kong businessman surnamed NG who has a good personal relationship with LAU Tai-fu.
Once he said to a friend: “Old Liu this person is really good, friends have to ask him, he will never hand rubbing.”
However, what are the shortcomings of Mr. Lau Tai Fu? Old Wu also said: “Apart from being greedy for money, he is also a womanizer.”
At that time, a friend asked, “You know him so well, can you tell us how much?”
Lao Wu had probably had a few too many drinks that night, so he said, “Just listen to this as an amorous story, but don’t expose it, otherwise it’ll be a big deal…”
It turned out that the old Wu and Liu Dafu personal friendship is very good, they usually in addition to the “business” on the exchange, leisure time old Wu also often take him here to go, there to go to the fun.
One night, Lao Wu took him to a karaoke nightclub as usual.
Soon, Liu Dafu fancy a girl, Wu knows his heart, in line with “for the people in the end, send Buddha to the West”, then they will discuss with the mother of the student, for him to “get it done”.
This lady called Yun Ni, twenty-something, that night, Liu Dafu because of the life of the road is not hot, the result of Yun Ni took him to “Kowloon Tong” (Hong Kong gun room is located).
At this time it was already three in the morning, into the room, Liu Dafu immediately asked Yun Ni with him to wash mandarin ducks bath.
Winnie said, “Cousin, my time is so precious, I have to leave when I’m done, I have to catch the next one!”
Liu Dafu was surprised and said, “Comrade, aren’t you going to stay with me for one night? I heard from my friend that he had already given you 2,000 dollars…”
Winnie: “You think 2,000 dollars is a lot? You must not know the rules, I do this business is counted piece by piece, do a night, more than two thousand mosquitoes! You are really happy.”
Liu Dafu realized that there are rules of the trade, since she said so, the only way to immediately undress and go to bed to work.
When he lifted the barriers to bed, he reached over to touch Yuni’s big grandmother, who knew Yuni hand a pluck, said: “up! What’s so good about touching my grandmother.”
Liu Dafu still when she is nothing, a hand and then reached over, said: “you this to the grandmother so seductive, do not touch how can ah!”
Winnie see can’t argue with him, so out of compulsion, then took up the head of the ashtray, put on the chest above, said: “Cousin uncle, well it’s time for you to come up.” Then she smoked a cigarette in her hand, swallowing clouds and puffing up.
Liu Dafu see such a scene, can not help but laugh, said: “My dear comrade, trouble you open this ashtray, wait a while before smoking!”
Winnie then let out a “hmm” and said, “You’re working down there, how can I get in your way up there?”
Liu Dafu said: “You can’t say that, your grandmothers are so beautiful, I… I want to touch them!”
Yun Ni said: “a also a piece, I charged your friend two thousand mosquitoes, is promised to give you a hole, and did not promise to let you play with me this pair of grandmothers ah! Well, you want to play anything, another calculation.”
Liu Dafu at this time like an arrow on the string, see her say so, naturally full of promise, said: “good ah, you want to how to calculate on how it!” Said immediately reached over.
Who knows Yun Ni’s “Jade Woman through the clouds” hand faster than him, see her hand a raise, will set aside his hand, said: “I want to cash transactions, the first money after the goods, five hundred mosquitoes, any you touch, any you play!”
Liu Dafu suddenly opened his mouth wide, a long time before he said: “What, touch the grandmother, you charge 500 yuan?”
Winnie said, “If it’s too expensive, you don’t have to pay for it, it’s usually at least 1,000!”
Liu Dafu thought again, the result still took a silver bag out, gave Yun Ni five hundred mosquitoes, she received the money, before taking away that ashtray.
As soon as the ashtray was taken away, Liu Dafu immediately killed from the left and right, rubbing, and after a minute, he suddenly tightened his meat, and bent his head down to kiss.
Yun Ni also could not have thought of this trick, immediately pushed both hands, perform a move “double dragon out of the sea”, pushed Liu Dafu to put the head of a high, said: “I said, allow you to touch the grandmother, why do you kiss me?”
Liu Dafu was surprised and said: “Why, kissing is ‘not’!”
Winnie said, “No way! Unless you raise the stakes.”
Dafu asked, “What does the increase mean?”
Yuni said: “That is, add money again, there is money to discuss.”
Liu Dafu has never seen such an environment, just gave 500 yuan to Yun Ni, he has been very painful, and now see her want money, so that she can kiss her grandmother, so said: “then I do not kiss, I want to touch a enough money.”
He finished, a pair of hands and then touched and pinched Yun Ni two grandmothers, rubbing left and right, a moment from round to flat, a while and from flat to round.
Yuni ignored him, the pipe was smoking.
Time passes quickly, a moment, Yun Ni a cigarette has finished, she saw Liu Dafu still hold her pair of grandmother rubbing non-stop, then said: “cousin uncle, you play enough? Get on the horse.”
Liu Dafu was dumbfounded and said, “This is not a horse farm, where are the horses, what horses?”
Yuni couldn’t help but laugh and said, “Getting on the horse means calling you up to start work, you understand!”
It was only then that Liu Dafu realized, so he let go of his hand and hurriedly mounted his horse with his “gun”.
Point know Yun Ni’s hand faster than him, her move “Jade Lady through the clouds hand” a push, Liu Dafu pushed away, and then sat up, said: “dry fight, want to pain people, but also do not have pity on the jade, how to learn people out of the roll ah!”
Liu Dafu was stunned, because he did not understand, so he looked at Yun Ni did not know what to say.
Yun Ni saw him this silly, then reached out and pointed to his mouth, and pointed to her below, said: “here’s two thousand mosquitoes including kisses, quickly kiss ah.”
A woman making such a gesture to a man would be understood by a fool unless he was an idiot.
Liu Dafu, despite his earthy head and big countryside out of the city, but at this time, seeing Yun Ni so gesturing to him, he immediately understood, however, that expression of his seemed to be a little difficult to cry and laugh.
Seeing that he was a bit hesitant, Winnie said, “I charged you 2,500 dollars to serve you with fresh abalone, which is clearly a benefit to you!”
Liu Dafu see her say so, can not help but make a laugh, his inner war for a while, the result is still bent head down, taste “1” level of the best abalone.
Yun Ni is quite cooperative, see her break open two thighs, her position, although not a horse, but also called “eight” horse.
Liu Dafu at this time is also no longer polite, see him put his head down, and then stretched out that tongue, and then start to lick ah slurp ah.
Probably, he used to play this kind of game in mainland China and often licked the “abalone juice”, so when he licked and slurped it, it actually had lines and paths and appeared to have a clear idea of what was going on.
Soon, Yun Ni began to have a reaction, at first see her constantly swinging her waist, but after swinging for a while, she probably felt very overjoyed, and followed it to moan.
The woman moaned and screamed at this time, very much so, she has been happy to die, she screamed for a while, and then suddenly her hands embraced Liu Dafu’s head, and vigorously pressed.
Liu Dafu could not imagine that she suddenly out of thatched trick, the bar gas choked, may love liquid people in the trachea, so the head up, coughing staff even sound up.
Yuni at this time is the meat of the tight time, she thought Liu Dafu intentionally idle hanging her addiction, then put the eyes open, said: “Uncle, in the end you do what the ghost ah!”
Liu Dafu immediately explained: “Your water juice just entered my windpipe and made me cough to death.”
Seeing that she didn’t look like she was faking, Yuni said, “Alright, come up here.”
Liu Dafu saw her say so, as if relieved, immediately turned over, and rode up, single-handedly hand-held “gun”, said “I’m coming too!” Then he attacked the Yellow Dragon.
This time it was different, Yuni didn’t say “fuck you” anymore, because the impact of his rush seemed to be too strong, and there was a loud and resounding “squeak…”.
He was from the past, so he naturally knew that this was Yuni’s reaction to being moved.
As he thought of this, he launched a round of fierce attacks, as if in a bomber’s dive position as it dropped its bombs, one after another, round after round, swinging his army straight ahead.
Who knows that just then, suddenly there was a tap on the door outside, this tap was urgent, while a man yelled to open the door.
This call, not only Liu Dafu alarmed, even Yun Ni also quickly sat up, she said to Liu Dafu: “Quickly put on pants, probably the police (police) to check the room.”
Liu Dafu see her say so, immediately jumped down, three steak two dials will rush to put on pants, he looked at Yun Ni, has seen her faster than their own, not only pants have been put on, and even the bra has been buttoned up.
Winnie put on her bra and then walked over to the door.
As soon as the door of the room was opened, three men and two women immediately came in, and the lead policeman said, “We are checking the license and checking the room.”
Then he looked around and walked into the shower room.
Winnie said, “What’s the matter?”
The sister (policewoman) pointed to Liu Dafu and asked her: “What is he to you?”
Yuni said, “It’s my human guest.”
A policeman immediately approached Liu Dafu and said, “Please take an ID card out.”
Liu Dafu has not yet received an identity card, well handed a company business card over, explained: “I have not yet had an identity card.”
The officer looked at him and said, “Are you from the mainland on business?”
Liu Dafu nodded his head and said: “The public security is really awake, a glance can see that I am a cadre.” Then he took out his documents and handed them over to the police officer.
The police officer looked at him, handed him back his ID and business card, and said, “There’s nothing else, we’re leaving.”
When a class of messengers left, Yun Ni smiled at Liu Dafu and said, “Wow, it turns out that you’re such a wei, a mainland cadre.”
Liu Dafu smiled bitterly and said: “So close! If tonight in Shenzhen, that would be a big deal.”
Winnie did not bother to talk to him about Jesus, immediately said: “Not yet ‘pounced’ miles! Do you want to continue to ‘pounce’ on me?”
Liu Dafu shook his head and said: “Don’t, just now a mess, spoiled the fun, and now there is no more fun, let’s go.”
Winnie said to him, “You’re the one who wanted to leave! I don’t have to give you any money back!”
Liu Dafu smiled bitterly and said, “Forget it! You’re such a beautiful girl, I’m not lucky enough to have you… Next time, if I have time, I’ll come back to you…”
When Wu spoke here, a group of friends could not help but laugh, one even asked: “Liu Dafu later did not look for this mourning sister?”
Wu said: “Whether he has looked for her, I do not know, but if that night that woman is not fraud his type, the police do not come to check the room, he would not have told me so much afterwards.
The men then burst into another fit of giggles and laughter!
– End –