My confession.

My confession.

In the past, I think it started when I was fifteen or sixteen years old, thinking of some really weird questions, like who am I going to give my first time, will I be a horny woman, or what kind of body type or size is my first time partner… From the age of sixteen onwards I became interested in the opposite sex, and had my first boyfriend. But I don’t know if it was because he didn’t understand or because I was a late bloomer, but we were used to gentle kissing and hugging. At that time, I didn’t think much about what I wanted to do, life was simple and sweet.

I remember, in secret, reading one of my brother’s yellow novels, maybe one! I don’t remember the content, except that it was about a black man who fucked an older woman. The process was exaggerated and distorted, of course, but from there I got my first exposure to terms like glistening glans and red-hot, iron-bar-like penis, pussy, nectar ….. I think if one reads too much yellow fiction, it will definitely have an adverse effect on growing teenagers (especially boys), just as porn can mislead people who lack proper sexual knowledge, the sensual stimulation depicted in yellow fiction makes some inexperienced people jump at the chance. But some related common sense such as contraception and prevention of sexually transmitted diseases are ignored. I still think that people who are not capable of taking responsibility for themselves do not deserve to enjoy sex.

Enough, you may want to stop me from preaching any further, I know what you may want to read, I don’t know if I have the ability to give it to you. This is the first time I’ve written about this subject, and before I get into it I’d like to state my position that I think sex and making love are quite wonderful, but the mind has to be mature and the attitude has to be healthy. I would never encourage underage teenage girls to try it, the aftermath of a moment’s pleasure may bring, they have no way to solve …..

And looking back at me, I didn’t know anything about it, but the basic fear was still there, so I was quite careful with my partner. The first few times were not really nice for me to be honest, when his penis entered me there was always pain from being torn because of little foreplay or nervousness. Now when I don’t feel like it or I’m tired, I occasionally feel pain, but I’ve always been pretty dedicated to pleasing my partner, (though often not actively enough) and I’m always willing to cooperate with any request he makes, such as positions, oral sex, caresses …. I will cooperate seriously.

I love to watch guys feel fabulous because of the sex they have with me, and I cooperate so well that I’ve even developed a good habit of grunting, and I’ve had guys tell me that they want to cum as soon as they hear me grunt ….. But I don’t orgasm as easily as men think. When I scream, sometimes I think about the music I’m listening to or the homework I have to do for tomorrow, so if we follow the Kinsey Report on Sexuality, I’ve probably never had an orgasm.

However, sex still brings me supreme pleasure, and I am extremely susceptible to infinite satisfaction from having sex with a man. I also like to be patted on the ass by men who say I am slutty. Men love the refreshing …. of being foreign and even cheap in bed, and coming out of the room with a bit of resistance afterward.

The first time I have a real memory of a man’s penis was when I was about 17 or 18 years old! We had to wear knee-length black pleated skirts at the girls’ school. I thought it might be a turn-on for some men, or else there would be a lot of sexual harassment of high school girls.

Speaking of sexual harassment, the heart was upset, since the age of ten have extremely disgusting memories of perverts, but this is not the focus of the current creation of the conversation, so let’s table over not to mention.

Commuting to and from school was daily life at the time, and as usual that summer, it was an extremely crowded bus.

Noticing that my hips were pressed against something hard, and that the man behind me had his hands well placed on the rings, I was not stupid enough to quickly realize which part of my body he was touching me with.

Disgusting smile and dry breath, I associate that erect penis and my private parts are actually so close to each other, my young and pure female body caused a nasty man’s impulse while he is trying to violate me ….. If now I, cursing a dry may go to pinch his penis, let him pain to the future do not touch the girl idea. And at that time I actually let him put his penis against the top of my groin. That left a bad impression that didn’t change until after I went to college. I’ve gotten close to a few guys, but nothing like that boyfriend in high school, let alone sex.

It wasn’t until I had an experience my freshman year that my world slowly changed.

To be honest, for a while I had a crush on a junior in my department, and used to go to his off-campus place to look for him, just to listen to music and watch fish …. there. I wouldn’t have even thought about what to do with him, I was so stupid back then I guess.

The senior gave me a key and said I could go to his place when I wanted to watch Radio 4. One afternoon I skipped class and went in without knocking. I was quite used to the sight that greeted me, but as a freshman, I was still overwhelmed by the first time I saw it with my own eyes. The familiar senior, naked, his whole body undulating up and down between a woman’s legs, the sweat on his back glistening from the natural light. He was grunting lowly, like an animal’s warning sound, and extremely out of breath, and the woman’s body was blocked by him, so I couldn’t see her expression or hear any of her voice, only the senior holding up his buttocks in some continuous movement, which was no different from the porn scene I had once watched. I stayed there watching them make love for I don’t know how long, the more shocked and disoriented I was, the greater the impact I saw, living for nineteen years have not personally experienced sex, but in front of my eyes.

It was the woman who saw me and she yelled out and of course she left his body. I saw her naked body, her breasts were not big but they seemed firm, and the pubic hair in that private area, I was actually tempted to compare them as I looked at her. She immediately covered her body with the blanket. The back of the senior’s body was completely naked, it was hard to imagine him without any clothes on. A basketball player’s body is really long and slender, and his back formed a beautiful curve, but the expression on his face wasn’t perfect at all, and when he turned to look at me, his face muscles were all twisted.

“Fishy…” (that’s a nickname that has followed me for a long time).

He’d pulled something over his lower back, so I didn’t even get a glimpse of what his dick looked like.

I couldn’t move because I was freaking out, the object of my affection was sleeping with another woman, and that was quite a shock ….. When I realized I left …. Haven’t been back in since.

That kind of big boys and girls love story is funny, my senior later came to me, said a bunch of long story, to the effect that he wants a sexual partner and a soulmate, I am the latter … that kind of bullshit, but his “sexual partner” really made a fuss about him, and then he and I were actually We were strangers.

number one

The first time I touched a man’s penis was after caressing it several times with my boyfriend, the original me had been a bit insistent, and I wasn’t afraid of people laughing when I said it, and my bottom line slowly receded from not being able to take off my clothes to not taking off my underwear to not being able to go in …. But then it was all slowly broken.

The first time to be touched to the breast, although the other side of the action gently, but actually not much pleasure, is not because we are virgin virgins, there are a lot of experience and feeling is to learn slowly.

At the time I loved to be kissed deeply and then have him take off my clothes and rub me, I felt that these actions symbolized the intimacy of a couple and increased their love for each other. But my boyfriend apparently liked more than that, and he often begged me to touch his penis, and one afternoon I finally couldn’t resist the curiosity of reaching into his underwear and taking hold of his penis, which felt hot and hard ….. As for the size, I didn’t measure it carefully. I know he wanted to make love to me, but he did not dare to venture to make a request, I dare not just agree, the virginity of the brand of chastity is still in my body, I have been thinking about not to take it as a gift to my then beloved boyfriend. However, now I can’t help but think that I was really stupid, sex it is not a transaction, it conveys a kind of honey, if someone treats the first time as a very important thing, in fact, there is no harm, but it is so that he or she has fewer years to enjoy this kind of happiness.

And then, as the relationship grows more, the scale is slowly relaxed, when we are completely naked to each other, each other after a number of times, I know that my mentality has changed, I also want to try to see what is in the end sex, and to be honest, I realized that my nature is still far from the chastity of the big distance, the virginity of the importance of me really need to leave to my husband? Is it really necessary for me to leave my virginity to my husband, and then to carry on with my chastity for the rest of my life?

Maybe I figured it out, maybe I got carried away by a moment of passion and I forgot, two years ago, that I promised to make love to him one summer night.

And the first time, give up because you can’t find the hole there.

The second time, it finally went in, this time with enough foreplay, but the uninitiated me still found the pain excruciating, and to make him happy, I held back and kept saying it didn’t hurt, but I bled.

It was falling red, and I was out of virginity after that one, and I was saddened to look at that bit of blood, but I was slowly learning about my own nature, and that I turned out not to be a dignified enough woman.

Why don’t I describe my first experience more? Because I really don’t remember much, except that I was in pain and there was blood.

After a couple of “sessions”, I slowly felt no pain, and started doing it about three times a week, at first in the missionary position, which is the position I’ve been using the longest, and to this day, honestly, I like it the best.

In fact I don’t think I was considered a competent sex partner at the time, lying on the bed I was spread out there at his mercy, some of my skills I learned later, first thing I learned was to scream, screaming so realistically and lewdly that I knew the man I was having sex with would be very accomplished by his woman screaming to that extent, and seeing him happy would make me even happier.

Ha, I don’t even know if it’s true. I scream when I thrust deeply, and whimper when I thrust shallowly. Anyway, sex is a two-person thing, I’m serious about cooperating, and he feels happy too.

The next step was to learn to help bathe people.

I think I was smart enough to learn quickly how to please a man by bathing him, and just rubbing soap on him would give him an erection. There were other services, like standing behind him and washing his back with my breasts, and he would be so eager to touch my body that he would want to finish his bath quickly.

But, I would also wash his side, the soap itself was slippery, and with my ten fingers, I would rub his cock, gently pick at his groin, and then go to his scrotum, which I couldn’t wash for long before I was stopped because he was too comfortable.

Because of my considerate nature, I want to make the other person a little more comfortable, both making love, why don’t you put in a little more memorable good.

I wouldn’t let anyone else perform oral sex on me, I’d feel dirty, but the few times I’ve had the experience it’s been truly unforgettable, and I, like most women, have a particularly sensitive nub due to the concentration of microvessels, and the moment someone else bites into my nub, I’m pretty much done for. And the experience of sucking someone else’s dick …..

Let’s talk about it next time!

brief interlude

Let’s talk about the easy ones ….

I went to see a movie with my boyfriend once… I was still very cautious and afraid of all these things… To be honest, I didn’t dare to watch it… The movie was quite “normal”… it was just a beautiful girl being flirted with all the time, and then having sex with several guys all the time… ….. I forgot to ask him how he felt …. But once I went to the movies and saw a bad third-grade movie with a male and female protagonist caressing each other all the time, I was so skinny that I went to touch his side and found that he really had an erection…and I even made fun of him!

Another experience was going to see World of Senses with a learning attitude, this movie is said to be the originator of Japaneseㄟ movies …. I believe it’s all real… It was made by Oshima Juku. The content leans towards an art film, it’s about, roughly, the story of an overly horny maid and her male master… In her quest for more excitement, she accidentally strangles him…and then the frenzied heroine cuts off the man’s penis to pace the streets of Tokyo …..

I was suggesting that the average girl might consider looking at the sensual world… Maybe it won’t feel too bad.

And then, I took my sister to see a movie, which was a bit weird… It’s a bit weird when two women are sucking each other’s dick on TV, and my schoolgirl is snuggling up to me… She said she’d never seen it before, so I took her to it because she knew what she was doing. But I think she was the one who really enjoyed it! Holding me by the arm, leaning on me and discussing the plot with me…I don’t know if she meant to or not…but it scared the hell out of me! I don’t know if she meant to or not, but it really scared the hell out of me… Then she asked me to watch MTV, and I didn’t even dare to go with her to a regular movie.

Then and now, the fourth one at home has a decoder installed, as well as having watched clips of myself having sex in the mirror… Finding the excitement may be no less…then I really don’t feel anything at all now when I watch a movie…if anything it should be excitement!

My Confession No. 2

Living on my own for two years now. I say I live by myself, but in fact I have moved to an off-campus student dormitory since my sophomore year, which is a real abode of evil. I often pace up and down the hallways of the building I live in, and I see that many of the rooms have men’s and women’s shoes together, so it’s hard for the average student living on campus to relate to something like cohabitation. But to be honest, many college students have made friends with men and women during these four years and have had a taste of the forbidden fruit. Now let’s talk about my experience!

I didn’t move out because I wanted to enjoy myself, I just wanted to live a free life, and when I was living there, my boyfriend’s phone calls used to annoy my roommates and I used to stay out all night, so I thought I’d just live out there after my sophomore year of college to save myself the trouble. Someone asked me why I didn’t just live together, and I accused him of not taking our relationship the wrong way, but he moved in with me less than a month later.

At first, I insisted that he sleep on the floor and I sleep on the bed, but men! It is true that not many are good, he kept asking to sleep up, and after a few days I agreed.

It was in July that I actually had sex, so it’s been two years now. In two years, because of this experience, my personality did change a lot, and I’ve only had three real relationships, one of which was only twice a night, and the other two I’m still very close to, which means that part of our relationship is still based on sex. One is my boyfriend and one is…I don’t really define him, he has a girlfriend so I’m kind of his, meh mistress.

It’s really immoral to talk about it like that. Is it that I have too much need for sex? Do I need more than one man to be satisfied?

Wrong, I like sex and enjoy it, but rarely have a strong need for it, for me being held in my arms and sleeping is completely satisfying, when I am alone I rarely think of having sex, and at the age of twenty-one I have never masturbated. It’s just that I’ve known both of them for a long time and have a strong bond, and in them I enjoy the happiness of being loved, and I often feel that my body is a way of giving back to them, making them happy and loving me even more.

But that’s flattering, it’s not like I don’t have that kind of experience sleeping with guys I meet for the first time (the third one had no emotional foundation, and I even sucked his dick and let him cum inside me.)

So I position myself as the permissive and casual woman, but never the horny one.

After “living” with my boyfriend for a while and having sex several times, I started bathing him and then sucking his cock.

Regarding men’s penises, well, not really a fan to be honest.

With three objects I could take my time and compare them, the first two were big and thick, the third was about average size I think.

So now we’re getting to some kind of point. Do I like “big dicks”?

The answer is not always, too big a penis makes me hurt, even now, I should have hundreds of sex experiences, but really sometimes it makes me hurt, and it’s hard to make him feel good and hold back the pain.

So, smaller or bigger, really, it’s best for two people to be happy together.

Speaking of the penis again, I think it’s so ugly when it’s not erect and so scary when it is. But I will finally appreciate a person’s penis just to make them happy.

Still a big rip off, more on that another time!

My Confession No. 3

Recently, I’ve found that a lot of people have become very interested in “Heavy Metal Fish”…I get all kinds of letters almost every day, some wanting to get to know me better, some urging me to write faster, some with bad intentions, some …. The ones that ask me if I’m a man or a woman are kind of funny, and I usually reply with a few short sentences, kind of like that writer’s attitude when replying to readers’ letters ….. Heh, but then again, I’m just a person who expresses his own experiences, so there’s no need to look at me in a weird way…. Otherwise I will feel very twisted, and by the way to mention a small point, is that ah kind of want to find the net friend of the gun friend do not have to come to find me to try, I have a boyfriend, although he has to go to the army, but really do not have to think for me I will need to solve the physiological needs of a man and find a man how. Didn’t I say I’ve never even masturbated before? I’m not really in need of a sexual partner here…I’m just trying to use a space to post the more rare girl’s feelings of others ahah.

So that preamble out of the way…

Last night, I went to watch MTV, and first I picked an anime called Fuhrman, which is labeled as an action cartoon with different colors, but there is only a little bit of sex…. The cartoon itself was pretty good… I watched the cartoon for two hours, and then I chose a Japanese movie called “The Masochist”. I’ve never seen a SM movie before, so I wasn’t really interested, but the old version seems to have been misplaced… it’s a white guy or something, and the main character is Misato Nakayama. Because of the mosaic, nothing can be seen, my boyfriend is very annoying (although I will not), he said he wanted to change a film, so we went to choose a foreign film (really often watch the boys, know that foreign films do not have a mosaic, like I do not know) to see, the title is called MidnightMadness.

There is a little bit of a plot, but most of the time is making love…I was really sleepy and scared at times watching it ….. In the movie, the three male characters’ penises are all bigger than the big ones…. It’s so big and long that my boyfriend gets frustrated and says his isn’t really big at all… I wonder if it’s true that you’re that big… Then go find a girl who can! I don’t think I could stand it ….. Later on, I also played my humorous nature and teased that the basis for choosing the male lead in this drama was based on the size of the side down there, and the biggest was the first male lead …..

After watching the movie, I went back to my room and looked at my side in the mirror, which is kind of stupid, but I was thinking that my pussy should be prettier than all those girls! At least it wasn’t as flaccid as the ones that seemed to have been ridden by a thousand people, so I was thinking that my vagina wouldn’t be considered too flaccid …..

My boyfriend is going home today ….. I don’t know when I’ll see him again, but I’ve run out of condoms and I’m in the danger zone, so I can’t do it, right? I wanted to try the breastfeeding that I learned from my boss’s movie, but my breasts aren’t big enough, so it’s a bit ugly to squeeze them into a pile and then stuff them into his penis ….. So I volunteered to suck his cock ….. He sat on me, let me use my tongue to lick his side, this way with a long time, he did not ejaculate, to be honest, my mouth are losing consciousness, but he asked me if I was tired, I see him enjoy the look, but also embarrassed to say that I do not want to continue ….. So after a while, he finally ejaculated on my face, which was a first for me, and a part of it was in my mouth, I had already prepared my mind to say that I would eat that, but ….

Bitter, fishy…I swallowed hard and suddenly felt that this was actually a blessing…that was too much.

My Confession No. 4

Last night I was watching the Silver Night Hour on the Sanli channel, and a young girl asked if masturbating often would nourish my skin and beauty, and it just occurred to me that I hadn’t for a long time …. That doctor said it’s good to have sexual urges to be resolved, but maybe it’s because I’ve been too busy lately ….. So even when I’m alone night after night, I don’t have time to think about it much ….. It’s ridiculous, I’m fantasizing if a lot of working women are too busy to get cold feet because they are busy working? Or so busy that they don’t have time to find a partner, so they have to masturbate as hard as they can?

Here’s the deal: …. I didn’t think much of it, but I heard that over 60% of women have masturbated, and most of them have orgasms through masturbation, which I thought was funny…is it possible that some of the girls I know have actually experienced masturbation? I think it’s funny that most of the girls I know actually masturbate. It’s hard to imagine the innocent faces of those girls having an orgasm. But as for myself, I’ve heard from some of my closest friends that I don’t look like I’m doing that at all.

Also, something happened to a girlfriend I know recently because her abortion for her boyfriend was made known to her family, and the woman wants the man to be responsible, and the man won’t ….. Now it is not finished, I such a bystander can not help. But it is really for the girl to complain …. I’m not sure if you’re going to be able to do this, but I’m sure you’re going to be able to do it! The person’s stomach, and no ability to leave the child, and do not want to marry people, this kind of man is not qualified to ask the woman with him how, some day and night want to abduct the kind of little girl. The best to be practical, if there is no certainty that will not get people pregnant, then go to find prostitutes do not hurt a good girl it!

I’m so exasperated that one might think I must have suffered greatly.

In fact, because my periods are so irregular and often late all the time, it freaks guys out, so I take pregnancy tests all the time, and my body is funny enough that my period comes that night after every test.

I think I’m a smart and lucky woman, and by counting safe periods and using condoms during dangerous times, I haven’t had anything that I would regret. I love kids, but I simply can’t afford or care to raise one right now.

If it was without a condom, I’d be a little jumpy too, and I’d go shower as soon as I could after sex, especially to rinse that side off ….. I don’t think any of the birth control methods I use are too good, but I’ve been really lucky. Also took the pill for a month, and I ended up getting so bad-tempered that month that even I hated myself for being that way, so I’d ask for a condom unless I counted the days really reassuringly.

I feel this way because I have several good friends who have gotten pregnant by accident, and abortion is the only way to go, but I don’t think the average man understands the damage that can be done to the woman. One has a back that hurts all the time, and she’s only in her early twenties, and one has had two abortions, and the doctor asked her why she didn’t just get married, and my classmate was unable to answer but only wept.

It’s such a pain in the ass that I don’t even see their boyfriends stepping up to the plate. And a friend of mine, who begged me to take her for a pregnancy test one night (because she thought I was more experienced, which I wasn’t), went to the OB/GYN and the doctor blandly asked:You’re a student at Central University, aren’t you? Why are you so careless?”

So, I’m glad I didn’t snuff out a little life or hurt myself by doing so, but I have a little distrust of boys that comes from here.

If you really love her, protect her.

It seems like it’s been preaching to the choir, haha.

Overture to Love and Lust

She desperately recalled what she had seen in the parlor at noon today, the way Xiao Wang and Mary were making intense love together, Mary was lying on top of Xiao Wang moving and moving, and she could still see his penis glowing …. brightly because of a lot of liquid from high up and down.

She hadn’t had sex in a long time, no, she never thought it was called love, it was boring sex, and when she thought back …. there were no fond memories, only an accompanying pang of humiliation ….. So she could hardly imagine why Mary seemed to be enjoying herself …. so much. Although the room was very dark, she could still see Mary’s face with what she thought was a wild smile, and, Mary also kept whispering, “more and more”, it seemed she was enjoying it.

Is Xiao Wang different from her old man? Can he bring a woman happiness?

This thought brought a little flutter to her heart, but her long-standing distaste for Xiao Wang suppressed it again. Still a favorite petite girl, it might be an overstatement to say so, after all, she wasn’t exactly pretty, but she seemed to be quiet and well-behaved…. This kind of girl can easily win the favor of boys, so she has always had suitors since her freshman year, one of them, Li Dawei, chased her all the way up to her junior year, and finally got her to nod her head and become a couple in her junior year.

What’s wrong with this kind of memory? No, of course not. It’s that Lee’s personality changed after he and she became a couple. When Lee deliberately violated her one night, she resisted for a long time. Seeing that he couldn’t succeed, Lee changed to a different kind of offense, promising to marry her, and her total devotion to Lee made her believe it without any doubt.

When Lee whispered in her ear, “I’m yours…” When Lee whispered in her ear: “I am yours…”, it was the moment Lee really got her, she didn’t like it at all, but for him, she left her fear in her heart… In that period of time, she let Lee enjoy a woman’s flesh and love, but maybe Lee has not been gentle enough, she has always been afraid of making love, she was afraid that Lee was too strong and afraid of getting pregnant, Lee didn’t bring a condom, and at most, he was willing to ejaculate and then pull out his penis, and she was small and uninformed, so she really had Lee’s baby. Lee didn’t bring a condom, but only pulled out his penis when he wanted to ejaculate, and she was small and uninformed, so she really had Lee’s child.

And Lee didn’t have the money, she was the one who used the money she had saved to abort the baby.

After her abortion, Lee became disenchanted with her, her health deteriorated, she repeatedly refused Lee’s advances, and the shadow of her pregnancy stayed in her mind. When she went to Lee’s place to clean it like a wife, she saw several used condoms in the garbage can. She was heartbroken that Lee refused to use condoms after being with her for so long, but when he got a new woman, he even started to use condoms.

Finally, Chen Xiaoyan sees through Li’s heart and decides to leave him to be reborn.

But some unpleasant rumors began to circulate around her, said Chen Xiaoyan is a woman who has had an abortion, but also said that she is extremely poor in bed, spread on the bed like a dead fish ….. When she heard these rumors, she almost couldn’t stand it and wanted to die. She knew who the rumors came from, but she didn’t have the courage to confront him, and only had to take a break from her studies when she was already in her senior year of college, and then asked to transfer back to Taipei to study without her parents knowing about it because she wasn’t feeling well.

Miserable past, so that Chen Xiaoyan hated men, graduated from college to work in this company, but also pick the female colleagues here is very much. And so the stability to stay here is five years in the past, not the slightest intention to change jobs. She wants to save money, save to one day do not have to work and do not worry about food and clothing, she is going to leave the city to a place where no one recognizes her, quiet life.

Holding this idea to live, Chen Xiaoyan, turned into a monster in the eyes of colleagues, people have always been good, but the man is avoided, and those who want to find a good man all day long colleagues are not the same.

Slowly, she realized that she was going to become what others called a spinster, and a few thoughts flashed through her mind that maybe she would meet a nice man who didn’t care about her past and fall in love again. But… the idea that all men are black is so deeply embedded in her mind that she can’t accept the sight of a man, and she can’t help but think of the obscene side of it and feel sick to her stomach.

Until she eyed Little King and Mary…some sort of enzyme was slowly taking hold in her mind, though she didn’t know it herself at the moment.

My Confession No. 5

This time, it’s to do penance for being ridiculous.

Last Sunday was my boyfriend’s last weekend as a free man, so after not seeing him for a while, I decided to take the night train to Kaohsiung, play with him for a Sunday, and then take the eleven o’clock night train from Kaohsiung back to Jhongli, all the plans were good, and I was looking forward to meeting him.

He left two condoms with me, and I wanted to take them with me. I also thought that after having sex with him this time, I would not know when the next time I would open the door for someone else. Indeed, I secretly decided in my mind, I want to return to the pure white state this time, to adjust their identity to wait for their boyfriend to finish the army, and then go abroad with the kind of identity, for some of the temptation, I should be completely eliminated.

I felt I was doing well, working in a tuition class where there were more women than men, and the only ones who would cling to me were tiny little boys, and when I got back to my own place, I didn’t become anxious about not having bunches of phone calls anymore, and I was left alone to watch TV and listen to heavy metal and do my chores and read, and it was all very peaceful, and very much a matter of course.

Later, when I went to Kaohsiung, I left in a hurry because of a small temporary matter, and I forgot to take the condom.

We went to Kaohsiung for a day to go to some famous places that we had never even been to before, and had a great time, and then in the afternoon, we were all tired. I suggested to find a hotel to rest, and my boyfriend was not experienced in getting a room, and he purely believed that I did not. So ride a motorcycle around the fast entire Kaohsiung, just for his mind a clean not to do black good hotel, and finally in the opposite side of the Xiongzhong found a, I think it’s very funny, obviously are hotels, a pair of young men and women to go in, don’t care about the hotel to do not to do black, but also clear is to have sex, but he is very concerned about it, then listen to his words.

I’ve had many experiences about getting a room, from breaks to sleepovers, without my boyfriend knowing about it, and was going to change from there, didn’t want to be carrying around some secrets, and my boyfriend kind of loves me extremely much.

But …..

Although my MC had just finished that day, my boyfriend and I must have a condom when we have sex, because more than half a year ago, his glans broke the skin and bled because he had sex too violently, at that time, we didn’t know that it was just a traumatic injury, and we were so nervous and tense.

And at that time, again, it showed the difference in my personality and his.

I’m decisive and quick to make decisions. But I often regret it. He’s indecisive, he thinks a lot, but he’s meticulous.

His private parts have problems, I want him to go to see a urologist, he was afraid of losing face, and at that time because of this, almost broke up, because I was a freshman, did not know you can buy pregnancy test tablets, a person foolishly ran to the obstetrics and gynecology department to check the pregnancy, and he did not dare to accompany me in, only dared to wait for me outside the door.

I want to cry, but when it comes to the big things will be strong I, or a person to go in to get everything done, and he should go to the doctor, but also not to stand still, afraid of others to recognize him, afraid of losing face. I really can’t stand it, so I drove him to a larger hospital with a urology department, and then I helped him register, and took him to wait for the doctor.

Check the result is just a traumatic injury, because too fierce and break the skin and bleed, originally he was too scared to have sex, and then after a while. Still began to think, we found that with condoms can produce protection for his glans, so from then on, we have sex with condoms to do, to be honest, sometimes the foreplay is not enough, there is a lubricant condom is also better for me.

The label we’re used to is Durex, imperial, with a sweet cream flavor, which I think is safe enough since I haven’t been pregnant yet.

After going to the hotel and showering together, it was only natural to do it, I sucked him off enthusiastically and bathed him meticulously.

When I got into bed, I could be in the hotel without worrying about disturbing others, so I was able to scream as much as I wanted, and my boyfriend, who usually hums slightly during sex, screamed a lot that time. All in all, it was good sex.

And I once defined it as my last in recent times, and so cherished it all the more. After saying our reluctant goodbyes, and knowing that we really couldn’t be sure when we would next meet, we promised each other to be diligent in writing letters, and he took me to the Weiwu camp to see the geographic location, so that I could go to the rendezvous by myself in the future.

My heart, completely, was ready for my boyfriend to be in the military.

July 20, is the day he officially enlisted in the army, nineteen I made an appointment with him at eleven o’clock I key him, also bought a brand new phone card, even if it is just to talk nonsense, I would like to hold on to all his voice and image.

At ten-twenty, I was reading magazines alone at a convenience store near my home, in a fairly relaxed mood.

A man walked in front of me, startling me so much I dropped my magazine to the floor.

Surprisingly, I have had many relationships with that person, he actually did not notify the touch to come here to find me, and I do not know what to say. The original thought that he and his girlfriend feelings are also stable, I and he a in Taipei a in Zhongli, occasionally exchange phone calls, do not have to often meet, he even came here to find me …..

The first thing he said was to ask me if I was happy to welcome him, and of course I said I was happy, happy to see someone as close to me as I was.

But, it was the day before my boyfriend enlisted in the Army and I knew the scene was out of my control.

When he comes to the center, of course he stays at my place, and when you stay together, of course you get laid.

He and I are both oblivious to each other’s significant others and even talk and laugh and make fun of each other with ease.

So …. After the shower, really made love, and my boyfriend, who was going to be in the army in less than ten hours the next day ….. The girlfriend he loves so much, does this kind of thing ….

I hated myself a little, on the other hand, but was indifferent, because my day with two lovers had lasted a year. How is this day different from the dozens and hundreds of days before? But …. God, it feels as if there are two of me splitting up, one steely as hell and one lecherous, no, I should say not caring about everything.

He came to me on his own anyway…it’s not like I’m actively abducting anyone …..

Maybe I do ….

My Confession No. 6

From his original youthful ignorance, to the increasing absurdity of having a boyfriend, he has finally returned to the purity of life now, after his enlistment in the army.

I realized for the first time that without a man’s love and care, I am able to live a good life alone. Although I occasionally think of sleeping without another person’s body heat, or more primitively, no one to stimulate my desires, I have always been like a burning fire, and I slowly cooled down under the situation of loneliness…

Yesterday, I was in a TALK with an online friend and he suddenly asked very directly, “You haven’t done that in a long time, have you!”

And yeah, my boyfriend’s enlistment was July 20, and I slept with another guy the night before when he was in the military, so it was July 19, and yesterday was August 15 already.

It’s been almost a month since I’ve done anything with anyone, and even I can’t believe it, the person I was, used to be indulgent, maybe not me indulgent, I rarely ask for anything directly, but when he wants it, even if the last time was only an hour ago, I don’t say no.

The little fish that was moist and warmed by the man’s nourishment thought it was going to slowly wither away.

But the busy schedule at work has kept me from having the time or the will to think about things above SEX. Even, some of the boys who used to fly around me like flies have automatically disappeared, and I haven’t examined my own face for a long time, so I guess it’s the fact that I’m getting more and more horrible by the day that makes people lose their appetite for me!

That’s right, but I’m used to being alone, I’m a little repulsed by the idea of having someone to hold on to, and there’s someone far away who loves me, and I’m sure his heart is in me all the time, so I’m lonely, but I’m also at peace.

What about…the other guy I’ve been secretly dating? Haven’t we been secretly dating for almost a year now, how come he’s come to me less after my boyfriend is no longer with me?

Ever since he got a job in Taipei as well, it’s like he’s nailed down there, and he’s only likely to be free on Sundays, and on Sundays, it’s my Ran’s plea meeting, which is naturally staggered just so there’s no chance to meet up.

But…as he said, our relationship is clear and won’t change anytime soon, it’s just that…on the surface, we’re good friends, but in secret, we’ll take it to a hotel or something. I think, as long as we meet again, we will have to sleep together, I can’t say no, and maybe I need a person who will not be far away from me in body and mind, or one lover is not enough for me, maybe for many people, one lover is not enough!

I and he, the relationship is clear, close friendship, now although almost a month did not meet, but three or two days on the phone once, he must be everything to me to explain, this look feels a little bit like a boyfriend and girlfriend, in fact, never, because I must also tell me I went to see my boyfriend every thing that happened, and how he and his girlfriend what happened to what problems will also be with me to ask for advice. This kind of twisted love, is by the world’s morality is not allowed, but he and I are willing to, I think there must be people will envy me, or envy him, in addition to its own boyfriend and girlfriend, there is another know everything but do not mind at all can still kiss close lover. In fact, this is backward, is placed in a dangerous balance, once one side a little tilt, it’s over. And, there aren’t many people who can really take it I guess! If one’s other half is playing with fire, then one must not feel good, one should put one’s heart in the right place, one does not want to suffer, one should not let the dearest person to bear the burden.

And I …. I don’t know, I’m not good at rejecting people’s gentleness, but let me get into the entanglement of feelings again and again, I really need to cheat on me I think, maybe not, I think I’m a very cold person at heart, for how I will become in the future actually don’t care, and if someone really need me, I can’t think of a reason not to stay with him.

And my poor boyfriend, on one hand, I’m extremely nice to him, and on the other hand, I constantly disgrace him.

I am a lovely and creative and clingy lover, I let him have a surprise every day, considerate nature, so that he loves me more deeply. In terms of sex, I don’t think I have any interaction with the word “conservative”, I think since it’s called “making love”, it should really be able to make love, so it needs to be managed deliberately.

Even though I may not be a needy woman by nature, I would want to be on my best behavior in front of him and make him feel like he’s a great guy, so if he enjoys having sex with me, of course I’ll enjoy it too.

But, I cheated too easily and he forgave me once, only to be turned back on by me with no knowledge of the situation at all.

I don’t know if he would have gone crazy or cut me up if it had become clear to him what kind of person his beloved girlfriend was.

Not wanting to think clearly, I had to let time answer everything for me.

And meeting him on Sunday, arriving at his home because of an honorary vacation, I’m on my period and it probably won’t work how I want it to.

Offering to suck his cock, seeing his cock, which I hadn’t touched for a whole month, my boyfriend’s was, to be honest, the biggest and most beautiful I’d ever seen, very straight, and when the pulsations on it throbbed from an erection, I don’t know if it was just me being perverted, but I loved it at that time.

So, I sucked his scrotum first, then licked from the groin upwards, the disadvantage is that his pubic hair is too thick, often licked in the middle of eating the hair, so it is best to lick his glans first, and gently bite his penis, familiar with a little bit of a bad smell, some people may regard this as a daunting, but with a few years of experience I have long since become accustomed to that kind of stifling a little bit of vomit-inducing flavor.

The method that will give him the most pleasure after the licking is still to take the penis in before spitting and sucking and sucking it in his mouth.

The trick is to use your mouth a little harder and to kind of scrunch up as you suck back in, and tightness is something I think men like.

I had a feeling he was going to ejaculate if I kept sucking, after all, he had “stored up” long enough.

I stopped on my own accord for fear of trouble, and he loved me so much that he wouldn’t force me if I said I didn’t want it.

And he asked me to take my top off and sucked my nipples for me, and a wave of pleasure ran upward from my chest.

I myself need a man I think, but this desire is easily abated, so I returned to Zhongli after, still by myself, still did not masturbate ah or what.

So that’s my report for a while.

My Confession No. 7

After a long settling …. I found myself not daring to read what I wrote in the past, it’s too real…. I was going to use a very transcendent position to talk about my own experience, if it helps others of course, if not or good, anyway, I just tell my little thing as it is …..

But as I got caught up in the net, a number of people started to notice me, many of them kind-hearted and worried about the many problems I might face as a small woman… I’m thankful for that, I really am always thankful for that.

Frankly I’m quite wary of people I meet in such situations, as it may color my perception of me a bit, or mistakenly think I might be good to fuck ….. Well, in a way it’s good to get laid, I guess! I am now going to talk about a thing that was fucked.

It’s actually cruel to say it, I think it’s too cruel for me, or for him, but he’s my fourth man, and if I don’t talk about the fourth, then it’s going to be annoying to talk about the first three all day long, isn’t it?

This fourth one, an online friend, is an online friend that I really like.

Honestly, while my boyfriend is off in the military and living alone, sometimes I would just want a man to be with me. My godbrother sometimes comes to me and has sex with me when he does, but …. The idea of seeking a little extra excitement is always there in the back of my mind, and I suppress it when I think of my boyfriend being miserable, and a little when I think of me being miserable.

That’s how he got to know me better, even though he was familiar with me on the internet and I was honest with him, but he sometimes had a little bit of strange fantasies about him, and I guess he had them about me too!

He and I are quite disciplined, we don’t talk about having sex on the internet or talk too much about kinky things.

But it was rather a feeling, a feeling of a bit of hidden bad thoughts about each other, and I had thought about going to him… And then seduce him.. Make love to him. But the later I got, the more he cared about me, the less I thought about it, maybe because he had a girlfriend and I was afraid of getting in trouble!

But… I don’t know if I guessed wrong, but he was extremely concerned about me and decided to come to me.

The first time I was out of town and just missed it, the second time I got to meet in person.

He is quite a good looking, well endowed boy. And very nice… I’m sure of that.

Took him to see MTV… True Love One Life to Live, three sides long, and after watching it for I don’t know how long he started hugging me and trying to kiss me. I was trying to resist… Because even though I knew intuitively that I would sleep with him.. I was feeling guilty inside because my boyfriend loves me so much and I’m already messed up enough.

I still let him kiss me, even though I might not be that into him, maybe… I don’t know.

His kisses were wild, which I do love…like he was trying to turn my whole tongue over from the root…

Later on in MTV he tried to move me… I still didn’t want to really do anything, so I pushed back, I wanted to watch a movie, and he was still restlessly hugging and kissing me.

That’s when I was sure that I was going to sleep with him.

On MTV, he was already holding my breasts… My body started to ignite as if by instinct, and I wanted to be passionate too… But in a way I was indifferent.

I can sleep with someone I meet for the first time… This is the second time and there could be a third and fourth time later …..

When he bit my breasts… Honestly…I’ve seen better technique than him… His movements are too gentle…I want something a little wilder …..

But he’s a great sex partner, I make no secret of that.

I think he can also enjoy sex very well….

But I guess for me, sex is part of the enjoyment, and I’m enjoying the other parts too.

I enjoy kissing.. I enjoy caressing… Enjoy oral sex… I enjoy making love.. I enjoy the intimacy between two people.

I don’t get to enjoy the latter with him…I don’t know why, but some actions have become stylized for me… Maybe it’s because there’s only one person I really love! But… That night was a great experience, so great that I’m a little sad to think about it… Because if it’s a friend you can sleep with.

I wouldn’t care how he’s doing with his girlfriend, that you’re available to me when I need you, and that you love me in some way. I know, I won’t do what’s required, as long as I don’t have a bad conscience… Just take what you need.

The problem, though, is in the point of a guilty conscience.

Ah… I have to go… [The real process of making love to him will come another time.]

My Confession No. 8

I would like to use the function of the letter to post the letter, the results do not know whether I am stupid or can not turn, anyway, has not been accomplished is up, my things have been written for a long, long time, the test is not too much, but always worried about coming up to play what is caught by some people who love to watch it would be very bad ……. away from me a little bit, watch the show or as a listen to the experience of others, why should I Why pay too much attention to me?

I’ll write about it quickly!

Last Sunday, because of my boyfriend’s rare friendly days off, and I have not been to Kaohsiung for a long time to play, so he asked me to go to accompany him of course I had no choice but to go… Just met the Tatung Department Store fire, my boyfriend and I in the night market near the Tatung to watch the fire while we shopped and ate, a little bit of watching the fire mentality… There is a small restaurant called weekennd to eat also met two lipstick heavy boys, we have been guessing whether they can take out the boys. There was a small restaurant called weekennd where we met two guys with a heavy powdery face, and we kept guessing if they were take-out guys. Suddenly it occurred to me that I read in a gossip magazine recently that cowboys are a very popular business, and that youth and looks are really useful assets, even for guys….

The last time my boyfriend and I had sex was a long time ago, and lately my chances of having sex have been reduced to a very, very low level, compared to the “old days”. …. It’s a bit saddening …..

Originally was not very want to do, one to long time not met boyfriend and a little unfamiliar feeling, two time is very rush, also not like in the school can be directly to his room or my room ….. But when the military when a very long time is always a very bitter thing, in fact, I did not want very much, but I think if it is done will certainly make him happier, so I took the initiative to ask him to say do not want to, he said crap of course very much want to. But no…My boyfriend is more rational and conservative than romantic and passionate, but a good thing about a girlfriend like me is that I try to influence him ….. I make no secret of the fact that I’m pretty wild in a way, and that’s probably what attracts some people to me!

I simply asked him if he really wanted to do it or not, and if he did, he didn’t push it, and his eyes flashed with a little joy. I think he is of course very much want and afraid to feel that the request is very excessive, because I was on a plane specially to see him at night and have to take the night train back to school, I do not have enough sleep, I look at me to feel tired huffing and puffing probably does not look very good state. Seriously though, being able to be that close to my boyfriend is a good thing for me ….. I should have a stronger connection to him mentally …. Sexually I have separated it from love …. Maybe I can do it but my boyfriend doesn’t seem to be able to, at least for the past 2-3 years I know I’m the only one for him ….. He’s not a horny guy and would rather enjoy intimacy than be too willing to waste sperm …. When he said with confidence that even if I had another suitor, he knew I would choose him because no one else would ever love me as much as he loves me ….

I am also very puzzled about myself, on the sexual ability and enjoyment, my boyfriend to bring me the pleasure of feeling right is the best, his organ is born very majestic and firm, staying power and tricks ah what are not lost … On the love I really love me love me dizzy …. As far as appearance is concerned, he is already very good …..

What am I doing? Am I not unfortunate, or am I about to cuckold him without his knowledge because he is so indulgent?

Then we rode our bikes along the city looking for a hotel, found one whose name I’ve forgotten now, and bought condoms at a convenience store, as usual, the butterscotch-scented Durex …. that he and I love to use. I’m not sure if the price of condoms has gone up lately, but after I got the room and took a shower first, I reveled in the heat and didn’t want to come out at all, and my boyfriend was already a little horny from watching porn outside. We usually don’t lock the door if the two of us aren’t in the shower together, so he ran in naked, his trained muscles firmer and glistening in the light. I made room in the tub for him to shower, and as soon as he did, he got restless and said he wanted to kiss me, which is our terminology. “I’m going to suck your dick” seems too formal, and “kiss” is a very intimate verb …..

As soon as he said play he leaned over, half his body in the water and his head buried in my lower half, sucking on my labia minora before biting my nub ….. My body began to wriggle …. Half from excitement and half from pretense …. I wanted so badly to make him feel so good ….

Wow, class is starting. I have to go. I’ll write next time.

My Confession No. 9

Looking back at the previous period had been bad days, and then think back to their own finally decided to normal determination, I do not know how long I can hold on, obviously should be for only one person to be responsible for, but I seem to be too careless, I often think of myself should be a person can be sex and love to the complete separation of people, but with me in the person, perhaps not, from his nervous tone I know that he must be very afraid of in his I know from his nervous tone that he must be very afraid that he will lose me without knowing the situation, so he usually almost does not care about my whereabouts, but recently he often asked me where I went when I didn’t answer the phone, and he is also very worried about what my failure to write a letter really means.

Since I was also terrified of losing him, I don’t think I’ll ever admit to myself what I actually did, including spending the night with four boys other than him.

Yes, it’s four, although I realize I’m not emotionally involved with anyone else except with my godbrother.

And now, finally, it seems like everything is back to normal, I’m a good girl with a boyfriend in the army, my godbrother and I haven’t been in touch for a long time, even last week we went to the movies together, and we barely touched each other physically, and there was a momentary impulse for me to want to hug him and cling to him like I used to do. Then after the movie I found a random hotel and had sex twice. I hadn’t had sex in a long time, but for some reason I didn’t. He suggested it at one point, but in the end it didn’t work out, and then on the phone I asked him if he would want me that day when he met me. He said he would, and I shouldn’t have been proud of myself at the time, but I was really happy that he still wanted me.

Obviously he also has a girl he loves and adores and has decided to leave that bad past behind for her, but it’s amazing that the two of us would still want to have sex when we meet.

And, admittedly, met another guy who is also great, having known him for a long time before all right. But all of a sudden I realized that he had beautiful eyes, and it occurred to me that all the guys I’ve ever had a relationship with have also had beautiful eyes, and I’m hopelessly paranoid about big eyes, just as I’m extremely appreciative of the fact that I have big eyes myself. So, I couldn’t figure out who had seduced whom first, but it was as if there was a mutual understanding that it was time to set the record straight, and anyway, we both had lovers, and said we wouldn’t get entangled, and said we would, and anyway, that’s what sex was all about, a kind of caressing and penetration that might give me a little pleasure.

I think maybe I’m too lonely, although my heart belongs to someone, but I’m looking forward to some nights I can have someone to hold me, enjoying my body and I enjoy his, but without causing any trouble for each other, maybe that’s what I want.

I remember that one of Shibamon Fumi’s classmates, Hiroshi Hidetori, had slept with 24 women by the time he was thirty-one, and he said that by the time he was thirty-one, it was just a matter of conquest in terms of the number of women. I think I’m the same way, and I’ve always wondered if I’ll have “such a proud record” by the time I’m thirty-one. Maybe not, I still have my boyfriend in me, I’m the only woman he’s ever been with, he still loves me like this and doesn’t even know what I’ve done, and if I really didn’t care at all, I’d have more than five by now. But …. In the end good and evil voices warred in my head.

Who will win in the end? At times holy and lascivious, there are so many different cries pushing me at the same time …. Maybe I should be punished for everything I’ve ever done!

I enjoy caressing more than sex itself, and recently I’ve come to realize that I can fake all the passion I have for sex. I don’t want my partner to think I’m frigid or that he’s not doing a good enough job (and some of it may not be good enough), but my reaction seems to be uniformly awesome…am I really that easily satisfied? Not really. Only on rare occasions do I almost reach the point of oblivion, but most of the time I seem to be very involved, and inside I just want to see him enjoying himself. I can’t begin to describe in detail how much pleasure a girl can feel in her mind and body during sex, because sometimes I don’t care what I think, and I can’t feel exactly how much pleasure I can enjoy. I spend my mind watching my partner carefully, and I’m only happy if he’s got a contented smile on his face, so it’s no wonder that I don’t ever seem to have an orgasm.

Someone once told me that I had the best technique and was the sluttiest in bed out of all the girls he’d done it with, I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an irony? Maybe I can get guys off, I don’t know if I can, but I am completely incapable of communicating with them internally at some point, and I find that sad.

Even when I clearly don’t love someone, I still even get to bathe him, delicately soap his penis with my hands before washing him off, and then crouch down to suck his dick in the shower ….. Even though I obviously don’t love someone, I still swallowed his cum and acted like I was enjoying it. God knows it was awful, couldn’t wait to spit it out quickly, and I’m sure no guy would enjoy drinking his own stuff very much. I can’t believe I can do that for a stranger, I really doubt if I’m essentially a whore, I just don’t want to get paid for it because I still have my dignity.

I just watched an HBO movie called “Sleeping with Strangers” and whined too much, but I think I’m probably going to have a hard time changing that personality anytime soon!