What is Love (2)

What’s Love (V) “Morning Mussel”

A small thing happened in early April that has affected my mom and I for the rest of our lives. We lived in a graduate student apartment where cockroaches were exterminated once a year in the spring. That morning, I was just about to go to the lab after breakfast when the cockroach exterminator came. He learned that we were from China, and began to say in strangely-voiced Chinese that he had studied Chinese before and wanted to travel to China, and then said to me, “Your, wife, is, very, beautiful.”

Mom opened her mouth to explain, and I grabbed my thanks, sort of acknowledging our relationship as husband and wife. I didn’t really have any particular motive. Mom looked young, plus Americans often don’t see the age of Asians, and almost all of the people in this apartment were married, so this guy was justified in being talkative, so I didn’t have to explain myself to him. Besides, God knows if our explanation would lead to more bullshit. I didn’t want to rap with him. I thanked him, said “bye” to my mom, opened the door and left.

In the hallway, I heard the guy stuttering again, “Your, our, little children, must be, also, very, pretty.”

The experiment went well that day, but I always felt that there was something I should do, but I couldn’t remember what it was. When I got home in the evening, my mom said at dinner.

“Lei, why did you admit to that worker this morning that we are husband and wife, what if he told?”

“Don’t worry, Americans don’t care about other people’s business. Besides, he can’t tell who’s who in China, so no one would believe him even if he said it.” I said.

Mom was still a bit upset: “And even after you left, he kept talking about how we should have a daughter, as beautiful as mom…”

“Should have had a daughter!” My heart fluttered. That’s what I hadn’t thought of all day! When I was little, I used to hear my mom say she wished she’d given me a sister, and now…

“Lei, what are you staring at?” Mom’s voice interrupts my thoughts.

I looked at my mom and said, “Mom, didn’t you want another daughter before?”

“But I was very busy with work at that time, plus your father said that China was too populous…” mom said.

“I couldn’t then, but I can now.” My thoughts rushed out.

Mom sighed softly, “What’s the point of talking about it, your father is gone.”

I could feel my heart pounding, but still said in a lighthearted tone, “There’s still me when dad’s gone!”

Mom looked at me in disbelief for several seconds, then suddenly averted her gaze, her face flushed red, and whispered, “Don’t be ridiculous!”

“Mom, I’m not kidding you.” I sat down next to my mom and gently wrapped my arms around her.

Mom sighed and said, “I’m already old. Besides, even if a child is born, should I call you brother or father?”

“Mom, you just had your thirty-ninth birthday a few months ago. There are a lot of women having babies in their forties these days.”

As I said this, I clarified my thoughts, “If you really have a daughter, it doesn’t matter what you call me, as long as your wish is fulfilled. Think about it, if I call you mom, it won’t stop…” I put my mouth to mom’s ear: “I’ll make you pee so much that you’ll lose control of your bowels.”

Mom was amused by me. She gently pushed me away and said: “Well, having children is not a small matter. Let’s eat first. It’s getting cold.”

For several days, I noticed that my mom was often fidgety and said very little. Saturday morning, as usual, I lay in bed with my eyes closed, one hand gently rubbing mom’s breasts. She suddenly said, “I’ve thought about it. I can not have children with you.” Seeing the look of disappointment on my face, she kissed me and continued, “I do always want to have another child, preferably a daughter. You’re right, since we’re already married in bed, the world’s ethics are meaningless anyway. But we are close relatives, and I’m getting older, so if I have a defective child, I’ll be doing her a disservice. Besides, I’ve been out of the country for a few years, and I’m coming back with a child in my arms. The gossip around me could eat me up.”

I have to admit that her words are reasonable. Mom paused and said, “Xiaolei, I know you want to fulfill a wish for me. But I am satisfied with you now. When you graduate and return to China, find a good girl and give me a granddaughter.”

Seeing me still sullen look, mom reached out to hold my cock, rubbing the edge of the head with her thumb, waiting for me to react, she rolled over and rode on top of me, her vaginal opening aligned with the head of my cock, her body sank down, and inserted her cock into her. She leaned over and hugged me, kissing me while murmuring, “Good little Lei, I love you.”

I stopped talking to my mom about having a daughter. Since I knew what she was thinking, it was better to clear the air than to talk about it. Mom was worried about two things: the child’s genetic defects and gossip when she returned home. I’m healthy, so I don’t have to worry about my father’s genes. I made a few calls to hospitals and the Family Planning Service and found a geneticist. He checked the available databases for me and found no documented genetic disorders in mom’s ethnicity. As for consanguineous marriage (I made up a story about cousins in love beforehand) he said that Asians have a hereditary anemia that occurs very infrequently and can be detected with a blood test. He also suggested checking to see if there had been any inbreeding in the family already and what happened to their offspring.

I immediately wrote to a cousin (my uncle’s child) that I had participated in a survey about genetic diseases in Asian populations and asked for his help in finding out what was going on. While waiting for a reply, I went to the hospital and had tests done for hereditary anemia, which proved to be fine. I also learned that a fetus with an obvious birth defect could be detected by an ultrasound in the twentieth week of pregnancy. A month later, my cousin’s reply arrived. He said he hadn’t heard of anyone in the family being born with a disease. A distant uncle was married to his own close cousin, and their children, one of whom worked for the county government and the other in college, were also healthy. At this point, I have tentatively ruled out the possibility of a genetic disease.

The easiest thing to do to avoid trouble back home is to stay abroad. I have been in the United States for almost exactly three years now, have completed all my courses, passed my doctoral qualifying exams, and am working on a research project with my advisor. I’ve decided to try to graduate by the end of the year and try to find a job in the U.S. that I can turn around and branch out. To be honest, I had no idea if this plan would work out. But my mom’s concerns about age were justified. A book on common sense childbirth said that the health of an older woman is more likely to be negatively affected. Mom will be forty by the end of the year, and the sooner she gets pregnant, the better, and the pregnancy is contingent on me finding a permanent job in the United States.

I began to work overtime on my project, usually getting up early and coming home late, even spending Saturdays in the lab. My mom didn’t know what I was planning to do, and seeing how busy I was, she advised me several times to loosen up and not get too tired.

“You’re only twenty, a lot of people don’t finish college at that age. You can’t do well in school without a good body.” Her eyes were always red when she said this.

I didn’t want to make her happy for nothing when I hadn’t gotten to the eight, so I had to kiss her and tell her that the busiest phase would soon be over. Mom also advised me to cut down on sex, to which I agreed. The truth is that a head full of experimental data and questions does reduce libido. But what you owe during the week is always made up for at the end of the week. My sex marathon with my mom usually started on Saturday night and lasted until noon on Sunday. Whenever that happened, my cock almost never left her pussy, and I stuck it in there even when I slept.

One time, my mom half-jokingly said that our family’s expenses had recently increased because she was using four times as many pads as before. When I asked why, she smiled, slapped me on the face and said, “Every Sunday morning, my stomach is filled with egg whites. If I don’t use a pad, I can’t go to the supermarket in the afternoon!”

The beginning of May was the second anniversary of Dad’s death. Throughout the day, Mom was listless, and the occasional word came out of her mouth. I came home early in the afternoon and made dinner. Mom ate a few bites and went back into the bedroom. I cleaned up the dining room table and the kitchen, went into the bedroom, and saw Mom lying motionless on her side and clothed on the bed.

“Mom, you’re not sick, are you?” I asked softly.

“I’m not sick, I just want to lie still for a while.” She said.

I thought about it and said, “Mom, I’ll sleep outside tonight.”

I was about to turn around and exit when mom said, “Don’t go. Turn off the light and come to bed and hold me…”

I lay down on the bed and hugged her from behind. We just cuddled together in the darkness, motionless and silent, with my mom’s rear pressed against my front, but I didn’t feel the slightest bit of lust, only that I loved my mom, appreciated everything she had done for me, and would do anything for her happiness. I don’t know how long it took, but we both fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up a little after nine o’clock and my mom was still asleep. I gently got out of bed and went to the guest hearing to call the lab and tell them that I had some business to attend to until noon. I was going to do some chores and then make lunch so my mom could rest a little longer. I finished washing up and was about to go to the roof to do some laundry when Mom called me from her bedroom.

I walked over to the bed, sat down beside her and asked, “Mom, are you feeling better?”

Mom smiled and said: “After a sleep, much better.” She paused for a few seconds and then said, “Lei, your father and I have been husband and wife for twenty years, and he has been very kind to me and has never blushed with me. I can’t forget him…”

“Mom, I understand.” I thought for a moment and asked, half-curious, half-nothing, “Is it true that you and my dad never had a fight?”

Mom narrowed her eyes and said in a reminiscent manner, “Your father was particularly easy-going and obeyed me in everything. There were only two things in his life that he didn’t compromise on, so I listened to him.”

“What two things?” My curiosity got the better of me.

Mom stared into the void with both eyes and smiled, then said softly, “One thing is for you to go to college early, and the other thing…” a blush spread across her face. “Is not to have a second child. He said that China is too populous and that having a child would affect my career.”

A rush went through me, but I decided not to tell my mom about my plan yet. She was quiet for a while, turned her gaze to my face, touched my hand and said.

“I just heard you call for a vacation. Let’s use this time to talk for a while, okay?”

I nodded.

After breakfast, we sat on the sofa and mom looked me in the eyes and asked, “Lei, don’t you have any regrets about our relationship?”

My heart tightened and I hurriedly replied, “I don’t regret it at all!”

Mom put her hand on my leg and said softly, “You know incest is against the social norms. Doesn’t it affect you at all?”

I was honest: “I felt a sense of guilt when I first started thinking of you as a woman. But not anymore, because I love you and I know you love me.”

Mom stared into my eyes for a moment and said, “You promise me that if you ever feel uncomfortable about our relationship, you’ll let me know.”

I nodded and asked, “Mom, why did you think of that?”

Mom sat in silence for a while and slowly said, “There are three things that I can’t let go of. First, I’m afraid that social ethics will put pressure on you and affect your studies and career. Since you say there is no pressure now, I believe you. Secondly, I am afraid that our current relationship will affect your ability to find a girlfriend in the future. Also I’m worried that I won’t be able to leave you in the future…”

“Mom, I’ll never leave you. I’ll marry you after I graduate!” The words of my heart snatched out of my mouth.

Of course, mom didn’t understand the context of my words. Her face flushed red and she smiled, saying, “Don’t talk nonsense. …Lei, Kerri is nine years older than you, and I am nineteen years older than you. You’ve never dated a girl your own age. It would be unfair to yourself if you were to settle down with an old woman at such a young age.”

I knew she was joking, but she was worried about my future. I decided to “come clean” about Penny and Eva. I talked and mom listened. When I talked about swapping partners, my mom frowned and then turned red in the face.

Speaking of Eva, my mom looked at me with wide eyes and a look of surprise.

Finally, I said, “Mom, since you, I’ve never known what love is. Before that, all I knew was sex. But I’ve been with young girls, and I don’t find them particularly attractive.”

“I told you that the United States has brought you down, and it’s true.” Mom finished, sat without a word for a few minutes, suddenly whispered: “Lei, I have not seen your cock carefully.”

That was a reaction I hadn’t expected. I stood up and took off my clothes piece by piece in front of my mom. When only my panties were left, Mom stopped me and told me to lie down on the bed. She leaned over and knelt beside me, slowly removed my underwear, and then looked at my hardening cock like a piece of china, occasionally smearing the mucus coming out of my urethra onto the edge of the head of my cock. An itch spread through my body. I reached down and lifted my mom’s long skirt, pulling down her panties so that she was riding upside down in front of me, her pussy right in my face. The excitement on my cock, the wide open pussy and the familiar smell turned me on. I pulled my mom’s ass downward, rubbing my wet pussy lips over my face back and forth. Between the round ass, the plump thighs, and the hot radiating pussy, I felt unspeakably full and satisfied, as if any worldly worries and concerns had become meaningless.

After an indeterminate amount of time, my mom’s moan brought me back to reality. Her body stiffened for a few seconds, then she turned and went limp beside me and said, “Lei, I want you.”

As I thrust my cock into her pussy, I asked, “You’ve had a good look at my cock. What do you think?”

Mom glanced at me with a mischievous look and said: “It’s not like you. You look quiet, usually quite polite. But your cock grows big and thick, red and purple, and a warped, as if very no one.”

I smiled and decided to fight back, “Don’t just talk about me. Yours is also very different from yours. You’re so beautiful, your skin is white and smooth, who would have thought that your labia would be so dark and hairy, just like Kui Li’s face.”

Mom narrowed her eyes and smiled teasingly, “Do I have more hair than Eva? Ouch, you bastard, you’re killing me!”

The summer went by in a flash. At the beginning of September, I finally produced preliminary results on my topic. My supervisor was very excited and said that we had opened up a new direction for the research and application of this topic. I took the opportunity to raise the hope of graduating at the end of the year and trying to find a job in the United States. Seeing the question mark on his face, I added that I was eager to do so for important “personal reasons” and hoped that he would understand.

His blue eyes stared at me for three minutes, then raised his eyebrows and said: “Only love can make a smart guy like you give up a muchbrighter career. (Only love can make a smart guy like you give up a muchbrighter career.)” He promised to write a letter recommending me to his connections in the company right away, and gave me detailed suggestions for my next step in the research.

I often thought afterward that I had learned from him not only the latest knowledge, but also generosity and selflessness toward others. He was a good old man.

At the end of September, three companies expressed interest in my research and wanted me to interview. My first choice was a large company on the West Coast. Not only did this company have a strong research department, but it was located in a state that allowed abortion. This condition was important. In the event of a defective fetus, I wanted the mother to have a choice.

The interview went better than I expected. The vice president of research, who had been a classmate of my advisor, said in no uncertain terms that I could work for him as soon as I received my doctorate. He also said yes to my request to change my immigration status. The trip was a great success.

When I got home, I couldn’t contain my excitement any longer and picked up my mom and spun her around the guest house twice.

“Put me down! What makes you so happy?” Mom asked with a smile.

“Mom, I’ll graduate at the end of the year, and I already have a company that wants to hire me and has promised me immigration!”

I finished in one breath and realized that my mom was staring at me blankly, not even listening. It then occurred to me that Mom knew neither my overall plan nor the specific purpose of my outing.

I pulled her to sit on the sofa and said: “Mom, I just need to stay in the United States, you can live for a long time, you can also rest assured that the child, do not have to worry about returning to the country after the gossip. I now have a job, you can get pregnant right away!”

Mom looked at me for a while without saying a word, and suddenly her eyes reddened: “Xiao Lei, you didn’t work on your project this summer without dying, just for this?”

When I nodded, she sighed and murmured, “If I had known that my words would tire you out like that, I wouldn’t have…” Tears fell down her face before she finished her sentence.

I took my mom in my arms and said, “Mom, it’s not a bad thing to graduate early and earn money early. Besides, I’ve been a son for twenty-one years, and I want to taste what it’s like to be a father!”

“Shame on you!” Mom breaks into a smile and a red cloud rises on her face. She looked at me and asked, “What if the child is born with a disease?”

I told the information I had gathered over the months, then hugged my mom and said in a petulant tone, “Mom, I’ve done all I can do, it’s about time you contributed a little.”

Mom kissed me on the cheek and said, “It’s not a small thing. Let me think about it.”

The next morning, I woke up when my mom had already made breakfast. In the middle of the meal, my mom suddenly stared at the rice and said.

“I haven’t thought about it yet, but I want to go to the hospital for a gynecological exam.”

Mom had already moved on! I jumped over to my mom, kissed her a few times without a head, and said, “No problem! I’ll call you right away to make an appointment.”

“You’ve done all you can do. You don’t have to worry about this one.” Mom said, half sarcastically, half jokingly.

I knew that her English was good enough for simple everyday conversation, but I was still uneasy: “Mom, you have to make it clear to the doctor that it’s not a routine checkup, it’s for pregnancy…”

Mom laughed and interrupted me, “You’re not afraid to grow gray hair if you worry! Get your ass to the lab!”

A week later, at night, I was about to penetrate my mom with my cock in one hand, when she suddenly asked me to wait and took out a pack of condoms from under her pillow.

“The doctor said that the current birth control pills are low-dose and that you can get pregnant right after you stop taking them. But I’d like to stop for ten days to be safer. In ten days, it also happens to be the time of ovulation.”

Mom finally agreed! She paused for a moment and then said, “You’ll have to do it a few times less in the next few days. You’ll have a better chance of getting pregnant.”

I shoved my condomed cock into her pussy, then raised my right hand and said, as if on oath, “I promise, after these three condoms, I’ll start to build up my strength.” After saying that, leaned over and kissed his mom, smiled and said: “Mom, do you remember? A year ago, I said a slut, you got angry. See how natural you are to say dirty words now!”

Mom swept me a glance and suddenly pulled a face and said, “Lei, you’re leaking STDs to me.”

I didn’t know where to begin with that, but my heart sank involuntarily. I knew Kerri was especially careful about this sort of thing, but we had had contact with other people after all, and the possibility of getting an STD couldn’t be completely ruled out. It would be a pretty nasty thing for me to have an STD, and it would be an even bigger crime to pass it on to my mom.

My mom probably saw that I was scared and put her arms around me and said, “You’re full of bad words and you’ve been kissing me all day long.

Now I’m full of dirty talk too. What is this if it’s not an STD leaking from you?” He said, grinning.

Friday, October 23rd was another day never to be forgotten. After dinner, Mom suggested dancing. As our bodies got closer, my cock got hard as usual. Mom used her belly to gently rub a few times on the meat stick, narrowed her eyes and asked: “Want to pass it on?”

I lifted her skirt and put my hand close to her panties, noticing that her pussy was already dripping with water, I smiled and said, “Looks like you’re in more of a hurry than I am.”

Mom’s face flushed, said: “You wait here, I told you to go in before you go in.” Said quickly into the bedroom.

A few minutes later, I pushed open the bedroom door to an unbelievably sensational sight. Mom was kneeling naked on the edge of the bed, her legs spread at a ninety-degree angle, and her upper body was low on the bed, making her plump ass the most prominent part of her body. From where I stood, her genitals were visible: in the middle of the snow-white thighs and buttocks, the black-haired labia majora formed a cigar-leaf pattern, surrounded by the petal-like labia minora that parted on both sides, and the pink vaginal opening was half-open, and the obscenity glistened with a wet light under the light.

I went to the bed and knelt down like a man possessed, and without thinking, I sucked half of my pussy into my mouth. Mom wiggled her ass and said, “Okay, the ground is wet enough, it’s time to plant the seed.”

I stood up, stripped off my clothes and plunged my rising cock into my slippery pussy.

Making love in this position is a routine for me. But this time I felt something different. Looking at the cock moving in and out of my vagina, it was as if I understood for the first time that the fundamental function of sexual intercourse is to reproduce offspring. I thought of the squid fish in the TV program, swimming thousands of miles to their spawning grounds and dying by the thousands on the sea bed after accomplishing their mission. For them, the meaning of life is to produce offspring. Do they have pleasure in that crucial moment? I thought again about how twenty-one years ago it was this cunt, gulping my cock, that brought me into the world, and now I was making new life in the same organ. Could there be a more accurate representation of the cycle of life than this moment? On second thought, I found it comical to ponder philosophical questions while having sex, cracked a smile, and focused my attention on my cock, thrusting drastically.

After a few minutes, I pressed my belly against my mom’s ass and shot my cum deep inside her.

I pulled out my softening cock and lay down next to my mom, seeing that she was still crouched on her knees on the bed, her face flushed and covered in tiny beads of sweat, and her breathing not very even.

“Mom, what’s wrong with you?” I asked.

She sucked in a breath and whispered, “You just thrust so deep. My insides felt like they were in the wrong place.”

I then remembered that usually when I make love in this position, my mom can’t fully accommodate me. I regretted getting carried away and forgetting to take care of her.

“I’m sorry, I forgot. But why did you choose this position?” I asked casually.

“Before I got married, Auntie in the Walled City said this position was the easiest to get pregnant. Whether it works or not I don’t know, but there’s no harm in it.” Mom said.

“Then you can tell me if I just thrust too deep.” I said.

Mom stopped talking, a look of embarrassment flashed across her face, then changed the subject and said, “I’m a bit tired. It’s getting late. Go to bed.” Said while snuggling to my side, reached out to turn off the light.

Late one night in late July of the following year, I sat on a couch outside the hospital delivery room, pretending to be calm and reading a magazine while anxiously wondering how my mom was doing in the delivery room. Those nine months had gone by so fast! Mom got pregnant the first month she stopped taking her birth control pills. Then came my thesis defense and graduation ceremony, during which I had to go through the hiring process with my company, and then the move to the West Coast. In retrospect, it all seems like a fog, except for one thing: after the graduation ceremony, there was a party for the degree recipients and their families. I walked toward my mother in my doctoral gown and found her standing there, quietly looking at me with a look of love and pride in her eyes for her son, and satisfaction and affection for her lover. Others might not have understood her eyes, but I did. At that moment, I thought that if I took a picture of my mom with the caption “Wife and Mother”, it would surely win a prize in a photography contest.

When we moved to the West Coast, we rented a fancy apartment on the outskirts of the city, away from the office, with mostly “yuppies” (yuppies) working in the high-tech industry as neighbors. It was Kelly’s idea. She had graduated six months before me and was working as an assistant professor at a university in Canada. According to her, the yuppies usually don’t care about other people’s business, and many of them are workaholics who often go out early and come back late, which can save us a lot of trouble.

It turns out she was right. We’ve lived here for over six months now, and we’ve only met the young man across the street a total of four times, all in front of the elevator door, and always with a quick hello and going our separate ways. Soon after we moved in, I rubbed my mom’s slightly bulging belly and suggested that we go to Vegas to get married, since no one here knows about our mother-son relationship anyway. Mom shook her head and said.

“You’re working now, and once you’re married there are many occasions to bring your wife. If you don’t take me with you, it won’t fit in with the custom here, and it’s not a good idea to grow. If you take me there, there’s no guarantee that I won’t run into my old classmates and friends. Let’s just do what we’re doing now, it’s quiet and no one bothers us.”

I heard her make sense and stopped talking about getting married. In the twentieth week of her pregnancy, the mother went for an ultrasound, which proved that there were no obvious defects in the fetus. The doctor asked her if she wanted to know the sex of the baby, and she said she didn’t want to know, as long as the baby was healthy, that was enough.

The date of delivery was getting closer and closer. At one o’clock in the middle of the night later that day, my mom woke me up and said it was time to go to the hospital. It was now after three o’clock, how was mom doing? Would it be a difficult labor? Was the baby really not defective? Was it a boy or a girl? I thought without a clue and fell asleep without realizing it.

“Sir, would you like to go in and see your mother?” The nurse’s voice woke me up.

Looking at my watch, it was just after six o’clock. I followed the nurse into the delivery room and saw my mom lying on the bed with her hair in disarray, holding a small pink thing on her chest. When she saw me, she smiled breathlessly and held up the little ball of flesh, saying, “It’s a girl. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

The heart I had been hanging on to finally dropped. If the nurses hadn’t been there, I would have hugged and kissed my mom. Since both mother and daughter were healthy, the hospital let them go home the next day.

That night, I cleaned up the kitchen and walked into the bedroom, where my mom was breastfeeding. She looked at me and said with a smile, “Lei, what do you want to name the baby?”

I said what I had been thinking about all day: “Can we call it ‘Dawn and Rain’? Dawn as in dawn, rain as in rain. It was early in the morning when she was born, and it was raining outside. And,” I paused, “Dawn is also the word for morning in your name.”

Mom nodded and said, “That’s a pretty plain name, let’s call it Xiaoyu.”

I went on to say, “You’ve been thinking about this daughter for twenty years, so let her take your name.”

Mom lifted her gaze from Xiaoyu’s face and looked at me fondly, saying, “No, she is your daughter and should take your surname. … but since she calls me mom, you should be a little more condescending and be her brother.”

That sounded logical, and I nodded.

I was expecting Xiaoyu’s arrival to affect the pace of our life, but my mom has everything organized and Xiaoyu’s sleeping habits are in sync with ours. So except for her occasional waking up in the middle of the night, life was business as usual for me. Mom has a lot of milk and Little Yu can’t finish it all by herself, so of course I’m happy to help.

One night, my mom was half-sitting, half-lying against the bed, one nipple feeding Drizzle and the other being held in my mouth. I was sucking with all my concentration when I suddenly felt a drop of water fall onto my face. I looked up and saw my mom’s eyes filled with tears. I was so scared that I didn’t know what to do, so I asked, “Mom, you, what’s wrong with you? Where uncomfortable?”

Mom smiled and said, “I’m not uncomfortable, I’m happy. I have a son and a daughter, a son who is successful, and a man who loves me. A woman who has made it this far would not change her position as emperor…”

Speaking of heartbroken moms, one question comes to mind: “Mom, did it hurt when you gave birth?”

Mom thought for a while and said, “It hurts, but it’s easier than when I gave birth to you. I thought it would be more difficult at this age…”

“I told you you weren’t old!” I said. “But…” I said, giving her a teasing look, “you’re probably not as tight as you were twenty years ago.”

Mom swept me a glance, pulled down the face and said: “You this guy, really know how to get a bargain to sell the good! Let your big donkey cock a day constantly stabbing for a year and a half, even if the tight also give you stabbed loose!”

After saying that, Gergel smiled and pressed my head to her breasts.

What’s Love (VI) Yin and Yang

After our one-year contract to rent an apartment expired, we bought a house in the neighborhood where my mom and I each had our own bedrooms, but with a shared bathroom in between, so we didn’t have to use the outside hallway to access each other’s bedrooms. Most of the neighbors in the area were also young yuppie families, and not only did we each have to work for a living, but because of our high incomes, the distances between the houses were large, further reducing the opportunities to interact with each other. Sexually, mom and I tried some tricks, like anal sex, but called it quits because neither of us was enthusiastic. However, we thus discovered that massaging the anus while licking the cunt enhances the effect.

My job is also going well. The company emphasized basic research, so I was able to concentrate on what I wanted to do, and I published articles continuously. In addition, my mentor when I was a graduate student always held me in high esteem every time I gave a lecture, so I started to become a little famous in my field of expertise. All in all, we lived a happy and peaceful life. There were only two things worth mentioning before Xiao Yu turned five.

First thing. My grandfather was critically ill, so my mom and I decided to take Xiaoyu with us, and the three of us went back to China to visit. At first I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to explain Xiaoyu to my family. Mom said.

“Our part of the world is not like you Han Chinese, who like to worry about the affairs between men and women. As long as I don’t mention it, none of my siblings will ask. As for how to tell your grandparents, wait until we get to the airplane and then think about it.”

Grandpa died on the third day after we arrived. It was a week after the funeral. The night before he left, Grandma called me into her house and said, “I know all about you and your mom.”

My whole body tightened, only to hear my grandmother continue: “This kind of thing is not allowed by the Han people nowadays, but there are stories that have been passed down from our old life. I’ve been watching you for the past few days. You know how to care for your mom, and you’re like a man. Your mom is lucky to have you. Lei, it wasn’t easy for your mom to go into the Han Chinese world when she was a teenager. Your father was a good man, but he died at a young age. She’s your woman now, and she’s given you a child, so I’m entrusting her to you. If you are truly good to her, let her live a few days of comfort.”

When I got back to the US, I said half-jokingly, “Grandma meant for me to marry you, so don’t be so stubborn, okay?”

Mom smiled and said lightly, “Grandma Xu cares for her daughter, but won’t allow me to care for my son?”

Of course I understood what that meant, but it was a few years later that I really understood it by heart. There was one more anecdote that came out of this visit, which later became a topic of banter between my mom and me.

Mom’s aunt is in her nineties. I brought her a few gifts from the United States. She happily accepted them and murmured, “The emperor’s family has everything they need, even foreign things.”

I was confused, only to hear her continue to say: “A Chen when she was a child, I said she grew up to go far away. Sure enough, when she was less than seventeen, she was chosen by the Han emperor. Alas, Ah Chen is so handsome and dances like no one else, except the emperor, no one else deserves it.”

Turns out she always thought her mom went to college back in the day to be a consort for the emperor!

Mom later heard, smiled and skimmed his mouth: “You ah, than the Han Chinese emperor blessing is even greater, and even the Queen Dowager is consumed!”

Second thing. Mom started a dance school, and it became more and more famous. After Xiaoyu was one and a half years old, my mother negotiated with a nearby church to borrow one of the rooms where they practiced singing and went dancing every morning. This way mom could exercise and not miss taking Xiao Yu, because the room was big, there was only one piano in it, and it would not be dangerous for Xiao Yu to walk around, and it would also let Xiao Yu be exposed to a little bit of music and the rhythm of the body from a young age.

One day, a middle-aged wife named Nora was very excited to see her mom dancing once in a while, saying that she and her husband loved to watch dances, but seldom saw one as good as her mom. She asked Mom if she would be willing to teach their middle school daughter. Mom readily agreed. At first, Nora’s daughters took lessons from their mom on weekends, but later, more people wanted to take lessons, both elementary school students and adults, and they were divided into three classes according to their level. Nora volunteered to do the organizing and scheduling for Mom, and insisted that she charge each participant. Some of Mom’s students soon became dance stars in their respective schools, and new students were attracted.

Two years later, Mom had more than a hundred students, and her teaching hours had increased from Saturday mornings to five weekday afternoons and all day Saturdays. Mom formed a troupe of students who were good dancers into a troupe that performed on a volunteer basis for charitable organizations and senior citizen groups, and became an essential part of local celebrations during the holiday season. From the second year on, almost every year one of her students was accepted into one of New York’s prestigious art schools, much to the excitement of the circle.

Mom was so grateful for Nora’s help that she offered several times to split the income from the school between the two of us. Nora always smiled lightly and said, “My husband’s money is enough for us.”

In the end, she agreed to waive her daughter’s tuition and get a kind of like-for-like compensation.

The quiet days go by fast. In the blink of an eye, Xiaoyu turned five years old and was going to kindergarten. On the morning of the first day of school, I took off work and put Xiaoyu on the school bus with my mom. After dropping Xiaoyu off, my mom and I walked home. She saw me sitting on the couch and asked, “Aren’t you going to the office?”

I reached down and pulled her into my arms, grinning, “It’s been a long time since I’ve had my beauty in broad daylight, and I’m going to make up for it today.”

Once Xiaoyu turned two, she slept in her own bedroom, and it didn’t stop my mom and I from having sex at night. But I worked during the week, and on weekends either my mom was teaching a class or had Xiaoyu around, so we rarely had the chance to be intimate during the day.

Mom laughed silently at my words and said, “Beauty is old. More than three months short of forty-six years old.”

The sun shines on my mom’s face, I saw the tiny wrinkles around the corners of her eyes, listening to the faint melancholy in her tone, I can not help but feel a sour heart, and immediately said: “I can not look at the young one!” Said while kissing her earlobe, pulling her into my bedroom.

Mom stood quietly in front of the bed and allowed me to undress her. I quickly removed my own clothes and pushed mom gently onto the bed, kissing her breasts for a moment before spreading her legs apart and gazing at that familiar pussy in the morning sunlight. Probably because of Mom’s earlier comment, I felt that her labia majora were not as full as they had been when I first saw them over six years ago. It was likely an illusion, since it was nighttime and it was the first time I’d ever been intimate with my mom, and it was impossible to look very closely. But the subject of age naturally gave me a sense of history. I thought about the fact that this little slit had given birth to me twenty-seven years ago, and then to Xiaoyu five years ago; and that since that Valentine’s Day, this organ had been transmitting my love and desire for my mother almost every day, and at the same time transforming her love and desire into pleasure on my cock…”

Suddenly, the pussy in front of me lifted upwards and touched my nose. I only heard my mom say in a joking tone, “Hey, that place has already given birth to two children, and it’s still worth all this serious study! If you don’t make a move, I’m going to do the laundry.”

I took the faintly smelling and soap-scented nub into my mouth, slipped my middle finger in to lubricate it, gently inserted it into mom’s anus, and then inserted my thumb into her vagina with it. With mom moaning, we began to make love.

Half an hour later, we both lay exhausted on the bed. Mom exhaled a long breath, was quiet for a while, and then said as if talking to herself, “Days go by really fast, Xiaoyu is already in school. In two months, you will be twenty-seven, it is time to get married.”

My heart fluttered and I rolled over and wrapped my arms around my mom and said, “Then let’s go to Las Vegas next weekend and get married!”

Mom turned to face me and said: “Lei, listen to me. These years, I followed you to live a satisfied heart. You love me, love me, so great in bed.” She smiled, continued to say: “as a woman, I want to marry you, never leave you. But I’m not just a woman, I’m also your mom. No matter what happens between you and me, you are my flesh, I can not think about your future. It’s in a woman’s genes. It can’t change. I’m nineteen years older than you, I can’t grow old with you. I want to see you find a good girl while you’re young, start a family, and have a companion in your old age…”

Seeing my mom’s intention, I hurriedly interrupted her and said, “But won’t you need a companion when you get old?”

Mom put her hand on my mouth and said, “Listen to me. I have you, and I have your family. I won’t be alone. But the way things are now, who will be there for you when I’m gone? Xiaoyu is your sister, and she will have a family in the future. You can’t spend the rest of your life in your sister’s house, can you?”

It occurred to me that my mom had let Xiaoyu call me “brother” from the very beginning, so she might have had a plan. Disappointed and angry, I said loudly, “I still have thirty or forty years before I retire! I don’t want to think about such things now!”

Mom waited for me to finish shouting and said in a thin voice: “But I have to think even if I don’t want to. In the past two years, maybe it’s because I’m getting old, and I think about it more and more. Xiaolei, you said you want to be filial to me. If you really want me to live in peace when I’m old, promise me.”

I know mom speaks from the heart. If she thought she had delayed my marriage, she would have blamed herself for the rest of her life, but I only wanted to be with my mom for life!

Seeing my silence, mom sighed and said, “Lei, my mind is made up. If you are too stubborn, I will go back to my country. I’ve saved a lot of money teaching dance in the past few years, so even if I don’t work, I’ll be able to make ends meet. Besides, Xiaoyu is only five years old, so going back now won’t delay her schooling. But this is the next best thing for you and for me, I hope we don’t come to this.”

She paused for a moment, then added, “Honestly, we’ve been together for years, and it’s not easy for you to start over, and it’s hard for me, too. The good thing is that you can’t find the girl you want right away, so we still have a period of transition.”

I nodded with difficulty, knowing that it would be harmful to hold out any longer, so I had to agree to it and find a chance to remedy the situation later. For a long, long time, neither of us said anything, just looked at each other without looking away. I wanted to cry, and my mom’s eyes were red.

Suddenly, mom wiped her hand over her eyes, smiled and said, “Alright, luckily Xiaoyu can’t see us like this.” Her hand gently slid along my waist to the ass, slid through the thighs, and finally placed on the cock. “Let’s make a contract, until I have a daughter-in-law, I will use this thing for the time being.”

I knew Mom was trying to lighten the mood, but my chest was so heavy I couldn’t breathe, and my cock was like a sun-softened carrot, resting listlessly in my lap.

After this conversation, my relationship with my mom remained on the surface as it had always been, mother and son by day, husband and wife by night. I tried several times to change her decision without success. In the end, I said that it would be unfair for her to consider only me and not herself in her decision.

Mom smiled faintly and said, “In the end, it’s kind of selfish of me to do this.”

I finally realized that this time, unlike seven years ago, my mom was not going to change her decision. Seven years ago I was only twenty years old and in a stage where I needed to concentrate on my studies, forcing me to get a girlfriend would not only be unhelpful but also distracting. At that time, the obstacle between mom and me was incest, a taboo in gender ethics. But gender ethics is only a product of a certain stage of social development, there is no inherent right or wrong, once you figure it out, the obstacle does not exist. Nowadays, the mom’s decision has nothing to do with ethics, but comes from the mother’s love that is molded in human genes. Time can change ethical beliefs, but it can’t weaken a mother’s love. Thinking about this level, my disappointment was palpable. I began to reluctantly look for a girlfriend under the expectant eyes that my mom shot at me from time to time.

At the end of the year, I met Anna at a company meeting of mid-level executives. At this time I had just been promoted to Director of Basic Research, and Anna was the Assistant Manager of Sales for North America. To be fair, Anna was cute, good-looking, and lively, without the shallowness and blind arrogance that characterized many American girls. Our interactions gradually progressed from going to cafes and talking to kissing and hugging. When doing such things, Anna was very devoted, while my feelings were very complicated. Kissing Anna, I always think of my mom, and I feel both a sense of loss and a kind of self-blame for being unfaithful to her. But feeling Anna’s hot and wet lips, I feel that at this time in my heart still think of another woman is really sorry for Anna. I often asked myself what would be the end of my relationship with Anna.

The ending came soon after. One Friday evening at the end of March, after Anna and I watched a movie, she invited me to her place. When I entered, Anna hugged me and pressed her lips to my mouth. My cock was soon hard.

Anna smiled and gave her cock a squeeze through her pants and before I could react, she unzipped my pants and pulled it out in three strokes. My lust was up, and I let her squat down and take the cock into her mouth.

It had been over two months since Anna and I had kissed and mom and I had stopped having sex with each other by heart. So even though I didn’t particularly enjoy oral sex, the warm, wet stimulation coming from my cock made me feel like I was going to cum soon.

I pushed Anna’s head away and said in a hoarse voice, “Show me your pussy!”

Anna turned around and lay down on the couch, pulling off her jeans and panties and spreading her legs to reveal her sparsely brown-haired pussy.

I crouched down and sucked her nub into my mouth without thinking.

For the first minute or two, my mind went blank and all my movements were unthinking. I only heard Anna say, “Put your finger in.”

I reached out and inserted my thumb into her pussy, suddenly remembering that Mom would still let me stimulate her anus at this point in her life. When I thought of mom, my heart fluttered and I couldn’t help but compare Anna with mom. I realized that Anna’s taste was different from mom’s, except for the slightly fishy smell, she also smelled like lamb kebabs.

“Can’t remember who Kerri’s more like.” I thought darkly.

Probably I was so focused on the comparison that I forgot to move as Anna’s pussy shrugged in front of me looking for stimulation. I settled down and concentrated on sucking, licking and gouging. After a few minutes, Anna screamed and collapsed on the couch.

She sat up and kissed me, took out a condom from the bedroom and put it on me and said, “Me!” As she said this, she lay back on the couch and parted her thick labia with her hands.

“Mom never does that.” I thought, suddenly thinking I shouldn’t Anna.

In the seven years I’ve lived with my mom, sex and love have been inseparable for me. Did I love Anna? Was I prepared to live with her for decades? Would I still be interested in other women after her? In that moment, I decided to end my relationship with Anna.

I raised my head, looked at her, and stammered, “Anne, I… I don’t think… I shouldn’t…”

Anna’s first reaction was, “Did I do something wrong?”

I took a breath and said, “It’s not your fault. I… I think I have to… love someone in order to make love to her.”

We were awkwardly silent for a while and Anna said softly, “Thank you for being honest with me. I hope you find the girl you love. She’ll be very lucky.”

She looked down at her naked lower body and my cock with a condom but already soft, self-deprecating smile and said: “Even if I owe you one (I owe you one).” I blushed and clumsily stuffed my cock with the condom back into my pants, apologizing in a low voice.

Anna stood up and said, “No need to apologize. I really appreciate your honesty. I hope we’re still friends.”

I held out my hand and said, “We’re still friends.”

Anna and I maintain our friendship to this day.

On the drive home, my mood was getting worse. Even though Anna and I had broken up peacefully, the incident had left me both aggravated and annoyed, and it was all because of my mom’s stubbornness! I got home and angrily pushed open the door to my mom’s bedroom. Mom was reading a book on her bed, and when she saw me walk in, she subconsciously pulled up the corner of the quilt to cover her chest. Seeing that I was red in the face and depressed, she asked with concern, “Lei, are you sick? Or are you and Anna…”

Hearing Anna’s name, I could no longer control my stomach full of anger, shouted: “Anna Anna, you know Anna! Why don’t you think about me! I love people do not let love, do not love people forced me to love! You are not reasonable!”

Mom had never seen me angry, let alone such a rage. A hint of fear flashed in her eyes, and she advised me in a low voice, “Keep your voice down, don’t wake up Xiaoyu.”

My anger increased: “Everyone is more important than me! Well, if you won’t let me argue, I won’t…”

I took one step and rushed to the bed, lifting the covers off my mom to the floor, then ripped off her panties and took her feet in both hands and pulled her to the edge of the bed. I parted her legs and pushed them to the sides, then freed my right hand to unzip my own pants and pull out my cock, which was still covered in a condom. Somehow my cock had gotten hard. I didn’t have the heart to back out of the condom, so I aimed my cock down at the opening of my mom’s vagina. My vagina was dry, and my own mucus was trapped in the condom, so it took me a lot of effort to get my cock in.

From the beginning to the end, mom didn’t say a word with her eyes closed, just her eyebrows twitching with each thrust. Perhaps because I hadn’t released the lust I had built up at Anna’s place, I ejaculated after a minute or two. I withdrew my cock and returned from the shared bathroom to my bedroom with my head hanging down, and fell asleep.

When I woke up the next day, it was after ten in the morning. I remembered what I had done last night and regretted it so much that I felt I would never be able to see my mom again. I was hiding in my bedroom, not knowing what to do, when my mom knocked on the door, walked in and said, “I heard you get up. Breakfast is ready.” She paused for a moment, and then said: “Xiaoyu is not at home, went to play with his classmates.” She said, “Xiaoyu is not at home, she went to play with her classmates.

As I ate my breakfast, I thought, “Whether my mom forgives me or not, this is a mistake I’ll always have to admit.”

I walked into the guest hearing, sat down next to my mom, took a deep breath, looked at the floor with my eyes and said, “Mom, I was wrong.

I bullied you, I… I’m such an asshole…”

Mom didn’t wait for me to finish, she hugged me and said, “Don’t say it. I know you are very bitter, it is not all your fault, I am not good.” Said while crying.

I couldn’t say a word, I just thought over and over again in my mind, “Mom, I’m so bad and you still forgive me. I’m sorry!”

We sat together in silence for a long, long time. I finally found the courage to say, “Mom, I know that nothing I can do will ever make up for my mistakes. But I wish I could do something for you right now, as a token of my appreciation.”

Mom softly leaned on me, silent for a while, whispered: “Last night, too dry down there, probably pulled down a few hairs, and now it’s still hot. You help me see if the skin is broken, okay?”

When I nodded, she stood up and pulled me into her bedroom. She undressed her lower body and turned to lie on the edge of the bed, lifting her legs and spreading them to the sides. I knelt in front of her and gently brushed my hand through the thick pubic hair, noticing four or five spots of reddened skin on the two large labia. I don’t know how to alleviate mom’s pain, so I can only stretch out my tongue and gently lick at the red and swollen places, my heart filled with endless remorse for last night’s rough action, deep apology to mom, and a kind of aggression that can’t be expressed and has nowhere to be expressed. I can no longer hold back, crouched on my mom’s thighs and cried bitterly.

Shortly after the incident, my mom and I had a long talk, which started because I had been harboring apologies for my mom, so I took advantage of the fact that Xiaoyu was not at home to two-part joke and eight-part seriousness to kneel down in front of my mom and kowtowed, saying, “Mom, not only did I fail to protect you from the bullies, but I also bullied you. I’m sorry.”

Mom snorted, “You raped the Empress Dowager, and you want to muddle through by kowtowing one head? Kowtow three more!”

I knocked heavily against the floor, as if hoping that the pain in my head can compensate for my big mistake. Just after I knocked a little, my mom hurriedly pulled me up and said, “The Empress Dowager didn’t let you knock with so much force. If knocked out of the brain oscillation, who will be the emperor ah?”

I looked at my mom’s face and stammered, “Mom, I, I really regret it.”

Mom’s eyes reddened, pulled me into her arms, and said softly, “Lei, I know you regret it. You are a child with feelings. You did that night, but also because you have me in your heart, do not want to socialize with other women. This thing I also figured out, rush to find a daughter-in-law, the two may not be able to long, in case of divorce, on the contrary, the opposite is the opposite. This way, we still like before, I promise not to destroy you, but you also promise, this matter do not indefinitely drag on, if there is a suitable girl, must not let go of the opportunity. Okay?”

I nodded my head and hmmmed. Mom touched my head and asked if it hurt, I shook my head. She looked at me blankly for a moment and murmured.

“Twenty-seven or eight, you’re still too young. The… the matter is in the past, so don’t mention it again. But remember, from now on, you can’t be rude to people even if you’re upset.”

For some reason, this incident caused me to readjust my relationship with my mom. For seven or eight years, in my mind, my mom was both a mom and a lover. Now, she’s become a full-time mom again. I think she sensed the change as well. It didn’t affect the quality or quantity of our lovemaking. Quite the contrary, we have become warmer and more considerate in our lovemaking, bringing a deeper and broader fulfillment than sex to the whole process.

We invented a close position: face to face a person on a person in the bottom, dick inserted in the, by lying down for the person lying on top of the top from the top of the head along the spine on both sides of the acupoints have been massaged to the tailbone, at the same time the top of the person slowly moving up and down, slow motion sex, but also to increase friction in the front of the two people. Mom jokingly called this position “multi-dimensional small circumference massage”, said that this can simultaneously stimulate qigong small circumference in many points.

“But it’s more cost effective for me,” Mom said with a smile, “because that big thing of yours also helps me open up the meridians inside.”

We often talk about what we saw that day, reminisce about past anecdotes, tease each other’s eroticism, and express our mutual affection during our multi-dimensional mini weekly massages.

What is love? (VII) A dream of Nanke.

A year went by. One day at the end of June, I returned to my office after a meeting to find that my mom had left me a phone call saying that she was planning to invite one of her students to dinner and asked me to pick up a couple of vegetables at the end of the day. I got home and my mom wasn’t home yet. I was washing the vegetables when I heard my mom’s laughter coming from outside, and Xiaoyu rushed through the door, saying excitedly, “We have a guest!”

I turned around and couldn’t help but freeze after politely greeting my guest. The guest was a young white woman, beautiful and poised. This kind of person wasn’t uncommon among Mom’s students, but there was something in this person’s features that I couldn’t tell if it was familiar or unfamiliar. What surprised me even more was that while shaking my hand, she said in slightly southern accent but very fluent Chinese, “My name is Wu Yuqian, and my French name is Monique. We are in the same company.”

It turns out that Ngoc Ngoc Sinh’s grandfather was a young and promising Vietnamese-Chinese entrepreneur who married the daughter of his French business partner. When the August Revolution took place in Vietnam in 1945, he moved his family to France. Ngoc Ngoc Sin is a quarter Chinese, so there are still faint traces of Asian in her brow. Her grandfather insisted that all the children in the family go to Chinese school and all speak Chinese at home. She finished college in France and went to a prestigious school on the west coast of the U.S. for her doctorate, which she just graduated from this year. Perhaps due to family influence, she grew up loving oriental dance and became her mother’s student shortly after arriving.

The atmosphere at dinner was pleasant. The teacher and the student were laughing like silver bells from time to time. You could tell that the two of them got along very well. It was already late when the guests left. Mom returned to the guest, looked at me with mischievous eyes, and asked with a smile, “How is this girl?”

I was momentarily embarrassed and didn’t know how to answer.

Mom still smiled and said: “Well, I’m not going to give you a hard time. But remember your promise: don’t miss your chance to meet the right girl. Don’t forget, you like people, they may not like you! Just want to wait for the rabbit can not.”

Mom walked to the stairs, turned to look at me again, and said, “The Queen Mother is tired tonight and would like to sleep by herself. Is that okay, Your Majesty?”

I could see Mom’s intention; between men and women, first impressions are often important. If I was indeed interested in Wu Yuqian, mom didn’t want that incipient feeling to be diminished by her presence. I nodded and silently walked back to my bedroom.

Yu Qian became a regular visitor to my house. At first, I often felt uncomfortable when I thought about my mom’s intentions. But slowly, I had to admit that I did like her. She was similar to my mother in many ways, very smart but not crazy, funny but not shallow, and had a great sense of humor when she laughed. Intuitively, I knew she had a crush on me too.

Gradually, Yu Qian spent more time with me when she visited than talking to her mom, and our meeting places gradually went beyond the confines of my home.

In the first few months of knowing Yuk Sin, mom and I had sex as usual. Mom only occasionally asked me jokingly why I was still interested in her as an old woman after seeing Yuxian. Once, mom was on top and I was on the bottom doing a small circumference massage. Mom suddenly stopped moving, head on my shoulders, gently said: “Lei, you and Yuqian’s relationship either towards the forward, or backward, but can not be forever as you are now so foot on two boats. I said not to destroy you. As long as you are not engaged to someone, whenever you want to make out with me I am happy to do so.

But I hope you will handle this matter with mature judgment, both for yourself and for your future wife.”

I lay in silence for two or three minutes and said, “Mom, I wish I could afford you too.”

Mom smiled silently and said: “I know. If you can find a good girl, start a family and have children, you’ll have done right by me. Lei, Yuqian likes you, and you like her too… well, I won’t say any more.”

That day, we made love without saying a word, cleaned up Mom’s and my ejaculate without saying a word, and then embraced without saying a word and lay in the darkness for a long time before falling asleep. After that, Mom and I had two more times, and then we slept apart without saying a word to each other.

Since then, my contact with Yu Qian has transitioned from chatting to flirting and then to kissing. In this transition, Yu Qian is more active than me, because my subconscious, I still feel that dating Yu Qian sorry mom. But at the same time, I also know that I did fall in love with Yu Qian.

On Christmas Day, the company was on vacation, and Yuk Sin left for France on the Friday morning before the holiday to be with her family. I drove her to the airport. Since it was still early, she let me park the car in a remote corner of the parking lot, and then hugged and kissed me in the car. My arousal grew, and without thinking, I held her breasts through her sweater and rubbed them. Yuk Sin’s moans grew louder and louder.

Suddenly, she reached down and pulled her belt open, saying in broken English and French, “Lei, Im so horny.

Touch ez mach atte… (Lei, I’m so horny.) Touch my…)”

I slipped my hand into her panties, sliding over the smooth belly and pubic hair, and gently rubbed the swollen, hardened nub with my fingertips. Her body shuddered and she quickly came. When her breathing returned to normal, I smiled and kissed her, saying, “You’re a good fucker, you came in just a few strokes.”

She made a face, looked at the bulge in the front of my pants and asked me if I wanted it too. My “yes” almost came out of my mouth, but I raised my hand to look at my watch and said, “We’re leaving in 40 minutes or so, and you still have to clear customs. Time to go.”

Yu Qian reluctantly glanced in the direction of my cock, and said into my ear, “When I come back from France, I want you to give me a present.”

“I’ll give you anything you want.” I said.

Yu Sin put her hand on my cock and said, “I want you to put this where it belongs.”

I shuddered inside and nodded very seriously.

On the way back to the office, I kept asking myself, “I want to give Yuxian what she wants, but can I give it to her with peace of mind?”

Back in the office, I heard the phone call left by my mom asking me to come home not too late in the afternoon, preferably around five o’clock, without saying why, and I didn’t think twice about it. When I got home in the afternoon, I could smell the aroma of stir-frying, but I didn’t see my mom, nor did I see Xiaoyu, I only heard the exhaust fan in the kitchen and the sound of water in the upstairs bathroom. I changed into the clothes I wore at home and was sitting on the couch reading the day’s newspaper when I heard my mom coming downstairs. I looked up and immediately froze.

Mom wore a black cheongsam with her hair coiled high on her head, light makeup on her face, matching earrings and semi-high heels, which made me feel like I was watching a modernly attired fairy walk from heaven to earth.

Seeing my dumbfounded look, mom smiled and said, “Xiaoyu went to her classmate’s house to sleepover, and she’ll pick up tomorrow at noon. During this time, it’s just the two of us.”

I understood what my mom was saying, and my cock hardened to its limit in a fraction of a second. Mom swept a glance at my pants and said with a deliberate grimace.

“What a loser! There’s no use in you rushing, that thing won’t be used for an hour.”

She walked into the kitchen and said to me, “You’re probably hungry, eat a little first to suppress your hunger.”

I never took my eyes off my mom and swallowed, “I’m not hungry.”

“I’m letting you eat because I want you to have the strength to dance with me.” Mom said.

I could tell that my mom had everything set up, so I grabbed two marinated chicken wings and nibbled on them.

Mom waited for me to finish eating and ordered with a smile, “Go wash your hands and rinse your mouth, then change into something a little more dashing.”

By the time I came down the stairs, dance music was already playing in the guest hearing. Mom stood in the center of the room, smiling at me and nodding in satisfaction. I walked over to her and made an inviting gesture, sweeping her up in my arms in the process. Smelling the faint scent of perfume coming from behind Mom’s ears, I thought to myself, “Obviously, Mom thinks this night is very important…”

It suddenly dawned on me that this was my last time with my mom! My body stiffened, a cloud over my heart.

Mom also noticed the change in me. She took a deep breath, leaned her head on my shoulder and said: “Lei, I was talking to Yu Qian the other day, and she said that you were very much like a gentleman when you were together. I think she meant it clearly, right?”

Not waiting for me to answer, mom continued: “Lei, one and a half months will be Valentine’s Day, we have been together for almost nine years. In these nine years, I have lived a very happy life, happier than many women in the world. Let’s celebrate today.”

I wanted to cry, but I didn’t want my mom to know, so I took several deep breaths to stop the tears that were about to come out. Mom raised her head and held my face in her hands and said.

“There are many men and women in the world who don’t love each other enough when they first get together, but then they fight until the sky is the limit. You and I have been together for nine years and still get along so well, don’t you think that’s worth celebrating? Besides, there’s another smart and beautiful girl who likes you, that’s joy on top of joy, it’s even more worth celebrating.”

My mind was in turmoil. I knew that this day would come sooner or later, and I had envisioned how I would cope with it so as not to upset my mom. But at this moment, the only thing I could think of was to try to postpone the day: “Yuxian won’t be back for more than a week, we still have a lot of time.”

Mom hesitated for a few seconds, looked up at me and said: “Lei, even the longest banquet has a time to fall apart. Compared to nine years, why do you care about these few days? Xiaoyu is not here, we can be together without restrictions. We may not have that chance next week. Don’t you want to make our last time somewhat memorable?”

My heart fluttered, and I felt that I should indeed relish this opportunity, for my mom, and for myself. I nodded my head and rewrapped my arm around my mom’s waist, my feet catching the beat of the music again.

I can’t remember how long it took to dance, but my mom and I walked into the dining room. The table was set with dishes that both my mom and I liked. Mom pulled down the window  and lit candles. I felt a little better and joked with my mom as we ate dinner. I noticed that she didn’t eat much. She smiled mysteriously and said, “There’s a program in a little while, so I can’t eat too much.”

After dinner, my mom told me to clear the table and then go wait for her in the living room.

“Oh, put down the parlor window .” She smiled mysteriously again and walked upstairs.

A few minutes later, mom said from upstairs, “Lei, close your eyes!”

I closed my eyes and listened as my mom walked downstairs and came to me and said, “Okay, open your eyes.”

I opened my eyes to see my mom standing in the center of the living room, barefoot and draped in a piece of red silk. She flicked off the red silk, and it turned out that she was only wearing a bra that didn’t cover half of her breasts and panties that were too small to be worn.

“Next program, a folk dance.” She said, and the limbs began to wriggle slowly and softly. After a few movements, I remembered that it was the courtship dance, the one Mom used to do that Valentine’s Day night nine years ago.

I also recognized Mom’s underwear as a gift I had given her that time. Thinking about the design of the panties, my cock couldn’t help but swell up again. Compared to the last time, mom danced with abandon this time. Her legs opened and closed without a care in the world as she danced, and each time she parted, her hairy pussy was revealed through the crack in her panties. Several times, I heard the “bla bla bla” sound of the vaginal opening as it suddenly opened up with a flood of lust. When the dance was over, mom stood in front of me gasping for air. I reached around her ass and pressed my face into her heaving belly.

Mom stood motionless for a while, suddenly raised a foot on the armrest of the sofa, buttocks forward, exposed pussy up to me, said in a hoarse voice: “I just took a bath did not wash, you smell smell?”

I took a deep breath and my nostrils were filled with a familiar fishy odor. I used the tip of my nose to arch over hers twice, and said with a smile, “It’s just right, just right.”

Mom retracted the raised legs, pulled me into the dining room, said: “Since the raw materials acceptance, the next dish is your favorite: morning mussels with dew.” Said the side like a magic trick out of a thick quilt spread on the dining room table, and then turned to lie down on the table, legs received in front of the chest.

As I sat at the table facing her, looking at those plump thighs and the pussy nestled between them, I couldn’t help but think back to the fuck that had made Mom cum for the first time, and to the male lovemaking that had preceded and followed it. In the light, mom’s pussy flashed a tiny silver light. I fixed my eyes on it and noticed a white hair in the middle of the thick black pubic hair.

Mom was really starting to age! A thought came to me: maybe there was another reason why mom wanted me to start a family as soon as possible, she didn’t want me to see her body aging…

I was thinking nonsense, mom reached out and slapped me on the head, saying: “Hey, why don’t you just look at it? Is the clam too old to bite?”

With a pang in my heart, I buried my head in the middle of my radiating hot, wet pussy.

After licking my mom to orgasm, I stood up, stripped naked, held my cock in one hand and aimed it at my wet pussy. The cunt was smooth and the head of my cock soon pushed up against the opening of my womb. I stopped there, while stroking my mom’s thighs with my hand, while smiling and said to her: “Remember? Our first time, I just inserted here you said inserted to the end.” I put my cock another inch towards the inside, continued to say: “I inserted here, your whole body collapsed, and said that your inside is a tough road.”

Mom’s face floated over a layer of redness, and then with a mischievous glance at me and said: “Hmph, when the mountain path, now already let you walk into the highway!” Said the body forward, Geger smiled and swallowed my cock rooted into the warm and slippery in.

I was also amused by her restoration. Throughout the night, we made love at the dining room table and then moved to my bedroom. Our bodies never separated for a second, and it was impossible to tell when we were making love and when we were resting. The world seemed to be just the two of us. We used our eyes and bodies to express the attachment between mother and son, as well as to communicate the lust of lovers. The house was filled with the smell of male and female genitals in heat and mom’s unabashed moans like catcalls. It was only when we were exhausted that we drifted off to sleep.

I woke up a little after ten in the morning. Mom was already awake. She was lying on her side facing me, her eyes unblinking. I didn’t know what to say as I thought about the impending separation and looked at her blankly as well.

Suddenly, my mom snorted, swept me a mischievous glance, and said, “Xiao Lei, what you’ve done in the past nine years can be summed up in a three-word idiom, can you guess it?”

I shook my head. Mom put her mouth to my ear and said, word for word: ” –You–Mom!” After saying that, Gerg laughed and hugged me tightly.

My lust resurfaced, my hands stroked my mom’s body freely, and I rolled over and pressed her to the bed, kissing her while asking, “We still have time, can we do it again?”

Mom nodded with her eyes closed.

I parted her legs with my knees and whispered in her ear, “Mom, help me get my cock in there.”

Mom reached down and held the head of the cock to the opening of her vagina, and with a slight sinking of her body downward, half the cock slid into her. I began to thrust slowly, maximizing the distance of each one-way movement as much as possible. Still with her eyes closed, her legs resting on my hips, her arms wrapped tightly around me, she nibbled gently on my shoulder and murmured.

“You’re so bad… there are so many women in the world… and you only chose your mom…”

Her body bobbed up and down with my movements, and she said with a little bite, “You seduced me with flowery words… You teased me with adult movies… You taught me to swear… You bought me open-crotch panties… You licked me… You liked the smell of my pussy… You pampered me… Every time, I wet my bed… You made me so pregnant… You made me give birth… You made me a child… You were bad! You raped me… you raped me… you’re bad… you’re bad… you’re bad… you’re bad… you’re bad… you’re bad… you’re bad… you’re bad… you’re bad…”

Moans gradually replaced mumbles as her body began to actively meet my thrusts. After ten minutes or so, she screamed and ejaculated a stream of searing cum.

I had thought I was cumless after last night, but looking at my mom and listening to her screams, my cum jetted deep into her pussy in a slightly aching, tickle.

I don’t know how long it took, but mom said softly, “Lei, let’s go take a bath together. After washing, it’s time to pick up Xiaoyu.”

I stood under the showerhead and let my mom carefully wash me from head to toe. Finally, she cupped her cock in one hand and flipped open the foreskin with the other, washing the groove behind the head of her cock clean.

“Help me wash it too.” She said.

My hands slowly slid over her body, sliding over every inch of her skin. Washing her , she lifted one leg to step on the edge of the tub and said, “Wash my inside.”

I put my finger into my vagina and scraped off the mixture of liquid from both of us. I heard my mom laugh and say, “Fingers are too short to wash deep, use this!” While saying this, she ruffled my already hard cock.

I rinsed my cock under a jet of water, wrapped one hand around my mom’s ass, and with the other aimed my cock at the opening of her vagina, inserted it, pulled it out, rinsed the slime off of it with water, and inserted it again. After a dozen or so repetitions, the vagina was no longer slippery and I felt the stagnation of the water as my cock plunged in.

Mom kissed me on the cheek and said, “Okay, thank you.” She said and walked out of the tub.

I used my hand to hold the hard cock, not yet finished. Mom walked to the bathroom door, turned around and saw my appearance, made a face and said: “Leave it for Yu Qian to use. That girl is almost gluttonous!”

I stood under the nozzle and wondered if what had just happened was symbolic: over the years, my cock had “soiled” my mom’s vagina; now, at the end of our sexual relationship, it was my cock that had cleaned her vagina. Maybe that’s what the English term “clean break” means?

I got dressed and walked downstairs, my mom had already put the dishes from the night before in the dishwasher and was on her way out the door to pick up Xiaoyu. When she saw me, she said in a calm tone, “You can have lunch by yourself. I’m taking your sister out for pizza and then I’m going shopping and won’t be back until late.”

Maybe it’s just me, but she says “your sister” very strongly. I nodded, not knowing what to say. She walked to the door, pulled it open, and at the moment she stepped out, she suddenly stood still, looked back at me, her mouth moved, but she said nothing, and turned around and walked out the door. Through the sunlight outside the house, I could see the tears in her eyes.

On the second day of the New Year, I picked up Yu Qian from the airport and brought her back to her place. That night, I didn’t go home. The next morning, I drove with Yu Qian to the office. While waiting at the red light, she suddenly leaned over and kissed me on the face, smiling and said: “Seeing your usual gentlemanly look, I thought I had to be a teacher for you in bed!

Turns out it’s only worthy of being a student for you!”

I was shocked, naturally thought of mom, face involuntarily red. Yu Qian said cheekily: “Yo, still embarrassed (embarrassed)! You are not like this in bed!”

She saw me silent, and kissed me on the face, said: “Lei, both of us are not the first time, as long as we love each other, other things do not matter, do you think?”

I nodded, my heart is full of gratitude to Yuqian’s understanding, and resolved to love Yuqian single-mindedly from now on. Four months later, we got engaged and decided to get married at the end of the year.

Mom bought a house in the neighborhood on the eve of our wedding and moved out with Xiaoyu. In retrospect, mom had to live apart from me sooner or later. But the exact cause was because I couldn’t help myself and did something stupid in the heat of the moment.

On a weekend in early August, Yuxian was away on business, and I was working on a research project at home on a networked computer. The problem was very difficult, I was a bit distracted, unintentionally swept to the calendar, suddenly felt a shock: August 10th! Ten years ago, on August 10th, also a weekend, my mom called from China and agreed to visit me in the United States again. The sweet, sour and bitter memories of the past ten years seemed to be floating in front of my eyes at the same time, but it also seemed that it would take a thousand years to sort them out.

I was lost in thought when my mom came into the study and asked if I wanted something to drink. When she saw my face, she asked me if I was not feeling well. I looked at her, recalling the events of the past ten years, and said quietly, “Mom, today is August 10th.” Mom stared blankly, obviously not knowing what was so special about this day.

Suddenly, only mom and I were left in the world, and everything else disappeared without a trace: “Mom, don’t you remember? Ten years ago today, you called me from home and said you wanted to come back to see me. Don’t you remember? I didn’t forget!” I said as I stood up, put my mom’s arms around her chest, and kissed her without thinking.

At first, mom tried to push me away, “Lei, don’t, don’t do that, sit down and talk slowly…” but soon stopped struggling and leaned softly into my arms.

I kissed her and naturally placed both hands on her breasts, rubbing the already hardened nipples through her thin blouse and bra. Mom’s breathing was getting ragged. I slid one hand down, lightly into her panties, sliding over her belly and pubic hair, the tips of my fingers touching her nub. Mom’s body shuddered and her legs parted slightly. I rubbed at the nub for a moment, overlapping my index, middle, and ring fingers together, inserting them into her lust-flooded cunt, then putting my palm over hers and rubbing the nub with the root of my palm. Mom panted heavily and her lower body began rocking back and forth, prompting my fingers to thrust like a cock, while reaching out with one hand and holding my cock through my pants. I forgot about Yu Sin and was preoccupied with what was going to happen next.

Suddenly, my mom’s hand was removed from my pants and pressed heavily on my hand, which was gouging and rubbing freely, stopping me from moving. She said to herself.

“In the future, Xiaoyu grows up, gets a boyfriend and gets engaged. If her fiancé does this kind of thing behind her back, are you willing? Would I be willing? Put your heart in the right place…”

Slowly but firmly she broke away from my hand and walked out of the study.

The next day, she took advantage of Xiaoyu’s absence and calmly said to me: “After you and Yuqian get married, you will always have your own home. Xiaoyu and I live with you all year round, which is inconvenient for everyone. I’m going to buy a house in the neighborhood, so my family can still see each other often, the best of both worlds.”

When I opened my mouth to speak, she continued without stopping, “You’re going to get married soon, and you’re going to have children. You should be dedicated to your family. I have my savings from all these years and my daily income from teaching, so it’s easy for me to buy a house without your money.”

I looked at her in silence, knowing that she said in the right place, but still feel the heart of the empty hard. Mom was silent for a while, sighed softly, reached out and touched my face, said softly: “Lei, take advantage of the good times now, focus on living a good life with Yu Qian, huh?”

The wedding of Yu Qian and I took place as scheduled. Now she is six months pregnant. Every week or two, we get together with my mom, Xiaoyu, for dinners or outings. I love Yu Qian with all my heart and truly wish to stay with her for the rest of my life. I know this is also mom’s wish. But I still think of those days with mom from time to time.

Xiaoyu looked more and more like her mother. When I heard her say, “Brother this, brother that,” in a clear voice, I often felt an inexplicable melancholy and loss at first, and then gradually wondered: “Is my memory reliable? Is Xiaoyu really my daughter?”

Whenever this happens, I always look over to my mom, hoping to get some kind of confirmation from her. But all I could see in my mom’s gaze was a mother’s love for her children. There were times when I met my mom’s gaze and seemed to catch a little something other than motherly love in it, but that look was fleeting and only left me with more doubts. I thought of Kelly and after a few hesitations dialed her number from my office.

Kerri quietly listened to my account and was silent for a short while before she said, “I don’t think you should spend any effort on this. First of all, you have a wife and will soon have children. You have the obligation and responsibility to think about their present and future. It’s not good to dwell too much on the past and it will only affect your family in the end. I don’t think you’re the selfish type of man. Speaking of your relationship with your mom, I can attest that your former love for your mom was not limited to a son’s love for his mother, and I believe your memories are generally reliable. If you wish to know yourself, it is enough for you to know this fact; why should you have to beg, without abandonment, for proof that certain specific events occurred or not?”

I was speechless. She paused for a few seconds and then said, “People have a tendency to idealize events in their memories, especially those that involve the emotions of the people involved. The smarter a person is, the more likely they are to idealize memories, because people with high IQs are usually rich in associative abilities and have a high degree of creativity when imagining. For this reason, dwelling too much on the veracity of past events in terms of details is not only not beneficial to other family members, it is also detrimental to your own mental health.”

I was convinced by Kelly, thanked her. I heard her say: “Lei, do you remember? Back then, you because of the idea of incest to seek my help, I once suggested that you speak out your mind, because it is better to speak out than to hold in the heart. Now, if you for this more than ten years of experience and agonized, may wish to write out your memories. On the one hand this will help you release your mental burden, and on the other hand you will really see in the process of writing that each recollection is an idealization and re-creation of a past event. I don’t need to tell you that you know that such manuscripts should be kept safe. But by all means, never use the names of real people and places.”

I thanked Kelly again, invited her to my house sometime, and hung up the phone.

And so there is this story.

(End of text)