what is love?

(i) Freud

When I was fifteen years old, I entered a university with the third highest overall score in science and engineering in the city. Three years later, I graduated from the university, recommended by an American professor, to the east coast of the United States, a famous school to read a doctoral degree. Soon after I came to the United States, I met an American girl, Kelly, at a friend’s party. Kelly is nine years older than me, in a nearby university psychology department as a graduate student. Kerri has a strong sex drive and has to have sex every day. This is the first taste of forbidden fruit I, naturally, is a good thing.

Kylie’s attitude towards our relationship was very pragmatic: we were going to break up sooner or later because of the age difference, and she just wanted us to be in love now and remain trusted friends in the future. She took me to two swingingparties and tried her best to set me up with girls around my age. She said I should trysomeyoungpussies because I would eventually find someone my own age to be my wife.

The first time, we met a couple of youths, the man twenty-six and the woman twenty-one. We got together a total of three times. The woman’s name was Penny, and she was beautiful and devoted in bed. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy my time with her. But every time I finished, I always felt that I didn’t have the same kind of mental satisfaction that I had after passing Kerri. Kelly heard a laugh, said I eighty percent is in love with her (inlovewithher), so more to let me more then young girls.

The second time, Kerri kept looking for me, but when she saw my no-nonsense attitude, she had to stop. Just as we were about to leave, Kelly pulled me aside and told me that there was a man who was very attractive. She said that the couple was 40 years old and that I would not be interested in them, but that the wife had agreed to allow the husband to be “intimate” with Kerri, so I wondered if I cared. I looked in the direction Kerri was pointing, and saw a lovely middle-aged couple who were also looking at us. My heart fluttered, and I told Kerri that I didn’t care, but that I would like to be close to that lady too. Kerri froze for a moment, smiled thoughtfully, and dragged me over to the couple, saying that we would like to switchpartners with them. The lady, Eva, froze for a few seconds like Kerri, then gave me a slightly shy look and nodded at her husband.

The four of us rented two rooms at a nearby hotel (at the suggestion of the couple, who also paid).

Once I was alone in the room with Eva, I found myself very nervous and shaking slightly. Eva was also a little uncomfortable, but thankfully knew how to break the awkwardness. She said it was their first time and that her husband had suggested it. She also said that she understood if I thought she was too old to be interested, and that we didn’t have to be pushy, and that it would be nice to just talk for a while as friends.

I got up the courage to say that I found her charming and wished we were more than just friends, Eva laughed softly and said she liked me too. I walked over to her and kissed her as I undressed her. Eva closed her eyes and didn’t move a muscle, letting me remove her long skirt, bra, and panties one by one. In the blink of an eye, she was naked. Her skin wasn’t as smooth as a young woman’s, and she looked thicker in the waist and thicker in the hips compared to Kelly and Penny, but she had the unique charm and richness of a middle-aged woman. I felt my whole body rising with heat and excitement, so I threw the warmth aside, wrapped one hand around her waist, and reached between her legs to fondle her pussy while taking one of her nipples in my mouth.

She moaned softly and whispered, “There’s no need to rush, my body is all yours.”

I helped her lie down on the bed and spread her legs, my eyes sliding from her breasts to her thick pubic hair and open pussy.

While Eva’s skin was white, her labia majora were dark, brown and full of pubic hair. I couldn’t wait to crouch down and my nostrils immediately filled with the slightly fishy odor that is characteristic of pussy. I began to lick Eva’s pussy. Her clit was so big that I took it in my mouth and sucked on it while rubbing it with the tip of my tongue, and in less than a minute she was “coming” (come).

She hissed for me to her, and I undressed in three strokes and shoved the head of my rising, purple-red, glistening cock into the mouth of her cunt. My first impression was that her cunt was no looser than Kelly’s, and because her ass and thighs were plumper than Kelly’s, it in turn gave me an indescribable feeling of fullness and satisfaction that was distractingly exciting.

That day, I picked up Eva three times in a little over an hour. She joked afterward that being gang-raped was nothing more than that. I was also secretly amazed at the strength of my sexual appetite. With my active promotion, the four of us switched partners at least once a week, and the coupling lasted for more than two months.

One day, Kylie said, half-jokingly and half-seriously, that she couldn’t figure out if my current girlfriend was her or Eva, and I realized that I was really sorry for Kylie for doing that. Looking at my embarrassed expression, Kylie first mischievously said that now she was more convinced that we would break up, but not because hers wasn’t tender enough, but not old enough. Then she seriously asked me if I wanted to hear her analysis of me. Feeling both guilty and curious, I nodded.

Kelly said that my lack of interest in Penny, who was my age, but my fascination with Eva, who was over twenty years older than me, could be viewed in psychology as an Oedipal complex. According to Freud’s theory, all men have it and it’s not worth making a fuss about. But I should have known that men’s obsession with women of their mother’s generation is not the mainstream of contemporary society. She said she knew I was intellectually gifted, and people with high intelligence often aspire to success and recognition by mainstream society as well. But non-mainstream sexual behavior is often a barrier to entry into mainstream society. I nodded in agreement as Kerri’s analysis went head over heels. She went on to say that her comments were not out of jealousy of my infatuation with Eva, but rather a desire for me to understand the pros and cons involved.

“Sometimes it’s so deep in that you can’t see what’s going on around you.” She chuckled.

I was grateful to Kerri and determined to forget about Eva. After that, we also stopped going to the even-swapping parties. At the beginning of my first summer vacation, I got a letter from my mom saying that my dad had died after two days of resuscitation after suffering a sudden myocardial infarction without any prior warning. I was so sad that I couldn’t eat or drink, and thankfully Kerri helped me through the first few weeks. After I calmed down, I decided to pick up my mom and come live in the US for a while. Having me around and not being able to see old things might help ease her mind of this sudden misfortune. Kerri thought it was a good idea too. The passport and visa went smoothly. In mid-August, I picked my mom up from the international airport and brought her back to the onebedroom graduate student apartment I had just applied for.

Mom looked much thinner and her eyes looked tired, but her happiness when she saw me made me feel like I had done something for her for the first time in my life. I had arranged for mom to have the bedroom and me to have the guest hear. She disagreed, saying that I was old enough to have my own bedroom and that her guest room would be enough. School started soon, and the good thing was that fixing classes was a family affair for me, so I was able to take some time out of my day to talk to my mom. I had never talked to my mom so much before. Slowly, we became good friends who talked, and Mom’s mood improved significantly, regaining her old humor, laughing more and more, and looking much rosier than when she first arrived.

My own mood has changed a bit. No matter what bad things I encountered at school, as long as I thought of my mom, my mood immediately and inexplicably rose. When I came home, I seemed to have endless words with my mom.

Seeing her happy and laughing creates a sweetness in my heart that I’ve never felt before. During this period, Kerri and I socialized less. With my mom around, I was too embarrassed to get too close to her, but I didn’t want to go to Kylie’s place and leave my mom alone. The good thing was that Kerri didn’t seem upset. She said she’d been busy with school lately, and for some reason, her sex drive seemed to have decreased since that conversation we had about Eva.

“Probably I don’t want to get too deep in my own either. Besides, cucumbers and sausages work when you’re not around.” She chuckled.

My birthday was in October. That morning, my mom said she was going to fry up some nice dishes for dinner to celebrate. I got home early in the afternoon to see my mom in the kitchen singing softly while washing dishes, not hearing me come in the door. I looked at her back and naturally remembered what I had heard from her over the past month or so. Mom came from a southwestern ethnic minority that could sing and dance well (which I had known for a long time), was selected to study at the Ethnic College at the age of seventeen, married my father at eighteen, and gave birth to me at less than nineteen. According to her, if she hadn’t been an ethnic minority, she would have been expelled nine times out of ten for getting pregnant while attending school. After graduating from college, she continued her studies at a local art school and stayed on afterward to teach dance. Now she is not yet thirty-eight years old, but some of her students are already famous dancers… Just as she was thinking about this, mom turned around and saw me. “Lei you startled me! Look at you, what are you standing at the door for?” After saying that, she smiled sweetly at me and continued washing the dishes.

I’ve watched my mom smile countless times since I can remember, but today is the first time I’ve noticed how beautiful she is! Maybe I’ve never looked at mom the way a man looks at a woman before. Mom has more charm than any woman I’ve ever seen, including middle-aged women. Look at Eva, she doesn’t speak with Mom’s humor, her eyebrows aren’t as pretty as Mom’s, her skin isn’t as smooth as Mom’s, her waist isn’t as slim as Mom’s, and her pussy certainly isn’t as… I was suddenly shocked back to reality by my own thoughts. I was even more overwhelmed by reality: my cock was as hard as an iron bar.

I was thankful that my mom was turning her back on me and immediately walked quickly into the bedroom, my heart pounding and my face burning. I began to muse over and over that I hadn’t seen Callie in weeks and it was time to go make out with her. I forced myself to think about Callie, her sluttiness in bed, her pink pussy with blonde curly hair, but suddenly I realized that the Callie whose pussy was fluttering open and shut had turned into my mom. Honestly, I was so shocked by myself that I thought I must be crazy.

I rushed into the restroom, washed my face with cool water, and found that I could still think. I decided to soften that rising, aching cock first. I thought about Kerri and Eva as I rimmed it, but mom’s shadow kept drifting over to replace them. By the end of the day, I gave up trying altogether and mentally licked the pussy that grew between mom’s legs and ejaculated. Needless to say, dinner that day was not at all festive. The guilt, the overwhelm, and the lust in my body kept me from looking at my mom, and I didn’t have the heart to talk. When mom saw me wilting and flushed, she thought I was sick and kept asking me what was wrong. I vaguely perfunctorily dismissed it with a headache, hurriedly ate a few bites, and returned to the bedroom, closing the door behind me.

That night, I kept dreaming, the content of which you can guess without saying. In the days that followed, I excused myself as busy with my homework, left the house early, returned only at the light of day, and promptly locked myself in my bedroom. My mom inquired several times, but I rudely interrupted.

One morning, when I was about to go out, my mother stopped me and said, “Xiaolei, I can see that you have something on your mind. If you tell me, I may be able to help you out. Maybe I live here too long, you feel uncomfortable or inconvenient. Then you tell me that too. I’m your mom. As long as you’re well I’m relieved. There’s also a whole lot of things in the country waiting for me to go back and do…”

“Mom, don’t be ridiculous. I’m really busy with homework.” I interrupted her and fled from the house.

But my mom’s words made me realize that this is not the way to go. Not only was I fainting all day, but mom was having a very hard time. In any case, I didn’t want to put her through it. I decided to listen to Kerri’s advice.

It’s hard to tell this kind of thing to someone else, but I stammered out the whole story to Kerri, because I had no choice. Kerri listened quietly, thought for a moment, and asked tentatively, “Maybe we can call Eva and the girls. Do you think it would work?” I shook my head.

She looked me in the eyes and slowly said, “I may be able to help you, but it depends on how you answer my next question. So I want you to answer truthfully.” I nodded.

“Do you just want to fuck your mom, or are you in love with her?” She asked. It’s a question I’ve asked myself a million times. “Both.” I said.

Kerri looked at me very seriously and sat quietly for several more minutes before she sighed softly : “Alas, poor little baby, you are indeed in love with your mom.” She took a breath and said, “In that case, I’ll start by saying what I think as a friend and a psychologist. If you really love your mom, I think you should find a way to tell her what’s on your mind. So many things are much less of a burden on your mind once they are told. As for the results of telling her, there are only two. If she does not agree, you know that this way does not work, dead heart, the knot will be untied. She loves you and will always understand. I can go and explain it to you if I have to. If she agrees, your knot is gone. As long as you’re careful and don’t let anyone else know, you can love as much as you want.”

She paused and asked, “Have you thought about the psychological consequences of incest? Even if you get what you want, the guilt may stay with you for the rest of your life.”

“I’m guilty as hell right now. But the more I think about it, the less I realize what was wrong. Mom and I are both adults. If we don’t hurt people, why can’t we love each other? This society used to not accept homosexuality, but isn’t it starting to?” I spit out the words I’d been thinking about all week like an argument.

“You just have to figure it out,” Kerri said, “but you have to realize that incest isn’t allowed under current American law, and I’m coming up with an idea for you now because I believe in you as a person. In addition, as a friend, I would like to add one more thing. If you really love your mom, you naturally don’t want to hurt her feelings. I think you should start by giving her little signals that she is aware of your feelings. If she is not interested in you sexually at all, she will definitely tell you in a polite way. You should then know better. But at least when you tell her openly, she’s somewhat prepared and won’t be suddenly hurt. Besides, giving small signals first can also increase your chances of success, because women love it when men offer? Maybe she’ll fall in love with you.”

I admired Kelly, the mood is better, can not help but kiss her. She laughed and avoided it, saying: “Women don’t like men who are not devoted to their love. And I tried all kinds of sausages, finally picked my next boyfriend, size and hardness are not worse than you!”

She tightened her smile and then said: “Lei, I think our sexual relationship ends today. But I hope we will always be close friends. If you have something on your mind, you can come to me.” After hesitating for a few seconds, she added, “I hope with all my heart that you and your mother get what you want… but if you want, we can make out one more time.”

I hesitated. Kelly had been so nice to me, I shouldn’t have turned her down; and I did need to let off some steam after a long time. But then I remembered my mom, and how sweet it was when I was with her. I smiled apologetically at Callie and shook my head. The thought that we would never be as close as we once were raised a wave of frustrated emotion in me.

I got home late and my mom was still waiting for me. She let out a long breath when she saw me return. I still felt embarrassed to look her in the eye, but I didn’t feel as guilty or overwhelmed as I had earlier. “How can I tell my mom what’s on my mind and not have her get hurt?” I asked myself.

(ii) The pain of lost love

Love is amazing! To be fair, when I was dating Kelly, it was very satisfying both emotionally and in bed. But that was a far cry from my feelings for my mom. I grew up to nineteen years old, never so adored a woman: mom’s knit brows smile, every move in my eyes have a kind of let my heart touching beauty. Of course, my mom was naturally beautiful, and with her years of dance training, she had a charming physique and demeanor. But Kerri and Eva were both good looking, not to mention Penny. The difference was that I appreciated their looks out of an objective standard, and my appreciation of them was often driven by reason. For example, when I complimented the curves of Penny’s body while kissing her nipples, I felt it was something I should say, even though I meant what I said. But I adore my mom through and through, and adore her not just for her looks and her body, but for who she is as a person, for everything about her. When I praise my mom’s beauty, grace, and size, my words come from my heart and flow naturally from my mouth without thought.

The first few times she heard my compliments, she was very embarrassed. I told her that it was a very natural thing to do in America, that a woman’s beauty was a gift from the Creator to a man, and that putting good feelings out there could only make the world a better place.

One time, my mom wore a dress I had never seen before, which framed the curves of her body perfectly. When she heard my compliment, she suddenly smiled and said that according to Chinese custom, this was when she should be modest. But even in China, she had never heard anyone claim to be ugly.

“What am I supposed to say at this point?” She asked with a smile.

“Just say thank you.” I replied.

Mom put her smile away and looked at me with a stern face and said thank you, then couldn’t help but laugh. I was amused by her as well. After laughing for a while, mom gasped and said that she had never been so un-humble since she came to the city to go to college, but it felt very good to be un-humble, “Thank you, Xiao Lei.” Looking at her happy face, I felt the sensation of being drunk.

I also found that I would do anything for my mom. To tell you the truth, I hated doing chores and when I was living on my own, I always tried to minimize them. But now, not only do I do her chores willingly, but I can’t wait to do everything for her. (This subconscious “sucking up” to my mom led to a noteworthy incident, which I’ll talk about below.) When I first started to help my mom with the housework, she disagreed, saying that my job was to read and not to worry about anything else. I replied that firstly, if she didn’t come to America, I would have to do it myself anyway, secondly, reading is the easiest thing in the world for me, and it would be good for me to do something else for a change of mind, thirdly, I wanted her to come to America to spend a few days in a comfortable life, not to serve as a mom for me, and fourthly, it’s only natural that a man would serve for a beautiful woman like her. She couldn’t beat me and agreed with a smile.

The change that surprised me the most was my attitude towards sex. When I was dating Kerri, I was still interested in other women, even though we did it every day. Since falling in love with my mom, other women suddenly lost their attraction to me, as if my mom was the only woman in the world and everyone else was all neutral. Not only that, but even my interest in my mom wasn’t always connected to sexual desire like it was at first. Most of the time, when I thought of my mom, my heart was filled with that sweet feeling.

At one point, it actually occurred to me that this feeling, which I had never experienced before, was more intense than the pleasure of ejaculation. My lust was still there though, with love, lust seemed secondary, but still needed to be released from time to time. Every week or two, I went to bed early in the evening, turned off the light, closed my eyes, and lashed my rising, bruised cock while thinking about my mom’s body. At each of these times, I was frustrated to think that I couldn’t even begin to imagine what Mom’s pussy looked like, since I had never seen a naked Asian woman before.

Before I knew it, it was winter vacation, and since school wasn’t in session for a month, I spent a lot of time talking to my mom and going to the store. One day I occasionally passed by a video rental store and asked my mom if she wanted to borrow some Chinese movies. Mom agreed. We went around the store and picked out two disks of movies made in Taiwan. When we passed by the adult section, I remembered that I used to watch adult movies with Kerri, so I smiled and asked my mom if she wanted to watch the ones with pornography, and she was a little hesitant, but nodded shyly.

Back home, I made dinner while mom watched the Mandarin movie, and by the time I had time to put the adult tape into the VCR, it was already seven o’clock in the evening. When mom saw that I wanted to watch it too, she hesitantly said, “Lei, if you want to watch it now, I’ll wait until tomorrow.”

I know that my mom is embarrassed to read with me, so I said: “Then you read it, I go to the bedroom to read.” I went into the bedroom, before closing the door to the mom made a face, laughing and said: “There are not understand the place to ask me, I am an expert than you.”

“Not learning!” Mom said as she sat down on the couch in front of the TV.

After a bell, I walked into the guest listening. On the TV a man was crouching between a woman’s legs, sucking her off from bottom to top. Mom’s eyes were wide open and she had one hand over her half-open mouth, obviously finding the scene unbelievable. I brought her a glass of water and put it on the tea? on the table and obediently sat down beside her. This time mom didn’t kick me out, probably because she couldn’t care less.

Ten minutes later, the movie was over, and mom let out a long breath. I smiled and asked, “How was it? Did it increase knowledge?”

Mom gave me a quick look, paused for a short while, and stammered, “Was that… was it true… that the man… gave… the woman… um…”

I had a sudden urge to play a prank, so I asked knowingly, “What are you asking whether it’s true or not?”

“It’s… the man… with his mouth…”

Perhaps it was the footage from the video that incited my lust, the explicit language rushed out, “Oh, you mean the guy licking the girl’s pussy.” Mom’s body froze for a few seconds and she nodded almost imperceptibly. Even in the light, I could see her face flush with shame.

I simply do not do anything, do not rest, control the thumping heart, pretending to continue to talk about the matter: “Of course it is true. Pussy licking is one of the main ways for men to help women reach orgasm. Some people have done surveys, pussy licked women, 99% of them love this experience.” (I’ll interject a digression, I didn’t make that statistic up.) Mom’s eyes looked at the TV, which had been turned off, and she asked in a low voice, “So… don’t men think it’s dirty?”

“Mom, cunts are a lot cleaner than mouths. Mouths are out all day, they eat everything, and most people don’t brush their teeth right after eating.” This time I was arguing seriously.

For several minutes in a row, the house is quiet only the sound of gasps, mom sat motionless, I did not know how to end this embarrassing situation. Finally mom stood up and said, “Me, go take out the trash.”

I ducked into my bedroom while my mom was out.

The next morning, my mom made breakfast as usual and went downstairs to do her morning exercises. Feeling a little guilty about the night before, I decided to do some chores before going to the office, both to reassure myself and to “flatter” her.

Mom, I naturally thought of doing laundry. There were some dirty clothes piled up in the restroom. I leaned over to get them and found that at the bottom was a pair of mom’s panties. I felt my heart geden, picked up the panties, and found that a small piece where my pussy was was wet, and a bright liquid could be faintly seen between the fibers, I put it in front of my nose, and immediately smelled a slutty smell of pussy. From my experience with Kelly, I knew that in all likelihood it was the lewd water that Mom had just shed after masturbating.

Most likely last night’s video had aroused mom’s libido, and she had hastily taken them off this morning after masturbating, intending to take them to the laundry room on the roof of the building to be washed when I left. I imagined Mom putting her hand in her panties and rubbing her pussy, and masturbated to the smell of her pussy. I decided it would be better if I didn’t wash these clothes so that Mom wouldn’t be embarrassed.

When she came back from downstairs, I was having breakfast. She came out of the restroom, hesitated for a moment, and asked with a red face, “Lei, did you just use the restroom?” I saw her face and suddenly realized my stupidity. I forgot to put her panties back to the bottom of the dirty clothes! I just felt my mouth dry and thirsty, and my face burned. But it was plain as day, and there was no use in me not admitting it, so I just stared at the floor with both eyes and gave a little nod. Mom stood frozen for a moment, then shut herself in the bathroom.

For the next few days, my mom avoided me and ate very little. I was in a bad mood, cursing myself for a moment as the villain who had hurt my mom, and blaming myself for my carelessness. Of course, I thought of my mom’s pussy from time to time, and sometimes thought like a bystander, you love your mom, and in the end, you don’t want to have sex with her.

What’s sniffing her panties compared to your ultimate goal? Why are you still here pretending to be innocent and blaming yourself for breaking her heart? Anyway, my mind was so messed up that I couldn’t concentrate on anything I was thinking about, and I was afraid that I might make a mistake in my experiment, so I called in sick.

One morning a few days later, I was absentmindedly reading a book on the couch when my mom walked into the guest listening and said she wanted to talk to me. “Lei, I haven’t seen Kylie in a while. Did you have a fight with her?”

“No fight, we’ve broken up, but we’re still friends.” I replied.

“Why? Is it because you feel inconvenienced by my presence?” Mom asked.

Apparently, mom thought I was interested in her panties because I didn’t have a girlfriend. I felt a little aggrieved, but my thoughts suddenly became clear. Kerri had said that sooner or later I would have to tell my mom what was on my mind. Since it had come to this, telling it now wasn’t a bad opportunity. I made up my mind, stared at the floor with both eyes, and slowly said, “It’s not because it’s inconvenient, it’s because there’s a beautiful and lovely woman in my heart. I think about this person all day long.”

My answer was probably out of my mom’s expectation. She was quiet for a few seconds and said softly, “Xiao Lei, no matter who you like, I’m happy for you. Don’t worry, I won’t be like some moms who pick on their son’s girlfriend.”

I saw my mom misunderstood again, and knew that if I went on like this, I would never be able to say anything. So I gritted my teeth, looked up at my mom and said, “Mom, this woman doesn’t know that I love her. She is a Chinese, nineteen years older than me.”

“Nineteen years older than you?” Mom’s eyes widened in surprise, “Then she’s the same age as me and could be your m…” her voice suddenly broke, she knew who I was talking about.

For several minutes, I looked at my mom in disbelief, and she also looked at me in disbelief. Then she lowered her gaze and asked in a small voice, “Lei, I understand you, right?”

“Uh-huh.” I nodded. Although I still don’t know my mom’s attitude, what has to be said has finally been said, and the burden that I’ve been carrying for three or four months has finally been lifted. Without a trace of expression on her face, Mom looked straight ahead with both eyes and sat down on the couch like she was sleepwalking.

I don’t know how long it took, but mom said, “I’m tired, I want to rest in your bedroom for a while, don’t bother me, okay?” Without waiting for me to answer, she walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind her.

Mom didn’t come out of her bedroom for two days in a row. I was worried that she was sick, but I didn’t dare to alarm her, so I had to check on her while delivering the meal. Every time I went in, I saw her leaning motionless on the bed, with every grain of the previous meal sitting there.

The third morning, I put down the rice just about to go out, mom said: “Xiao Lei, I know you let me come to the United States is heartbroken me. This half year, we become very close, almost nothing to talk about,” mom like self-deprecating light laugh, then said: “Xiaolei, I want to ask you a few things, I hope you answer me truthfully.”

I hmmmed.

“Lei, since when did you…”

“From the day of my birthday. You were washing the dishes, and you looked so beautiful…”

“Don’t you ever think about the fact that I’m your mom?” Mom interrupted me.

“Thought about it. To be honest, I was tormented by it at first, but I’ve since figured it out,”

I decided not to mention Kelly. I do what I do and I take responsibility for it, there’s no point in dragging anyone else into it. “You’re my mom, but you’re also a woman, and you need a man to love you too. I am a man, why can’t I love you? As long as you love me too, this is between the two of us as adults and has nothing to do with anyone else or society.”

“Lei, I love you, but this is a mom loving her child. Besides, have you thought about whether you have your dad in your heart when you have this kind of thoughts after your dad just died last year?”

“Of course I have. But can I ask you something?”

“Ask.” Mom said with an expressionless face.

“Mom, you’re only thirty-seven years old and you’re widowed, would dad be relieved if he knew in heaven? You’re so beautiful, there must be many people who want to marry you, but who do you think dad trusts more between me and those people?”

Mom was silent for a few minutes and said, “I don’t know where you picked up all this quackery, no wonder people say that the morals of American society are a mess. But even if we don’t talk about morals, you should look for a girl about the same age.”

“Mom, I love people, not ages! Why is it that so many men can love women twenty or more years younger than them, but not vice versa?”

Mom frowned, closed her eyes and said, “Xiao Lei, I can’t talk to you and I’m tired. You go out first.”

At noon, I saw my mom walk out of the bedroom, my heart thumped. Mom pulled me to sit on the sofa, looked me in the eyes, and said word for word, “Lei, I think I should go back.” My heart sank to the bottom. Mom then said: “Xiaolei, I am your mother, no matter what you said, I will not blame you. Besides, when you left home and went to college alone, you were not even fifteen years old, so it’s understandable that you can’t tell the difference between loving your mom and loving a woman. But now that you’re older, you should know that you don’t deserve everything you want. I’ve been in the U.S. for a long time, and I have a lot of things to do when I get back. If it’s convenient, can you book my plane ticket for two weeks from now?”

My head was white, my heart was so empty that I wanted to cry but couldn’t. Luckily, I was able to think that if you love your mom, you have to respect her wishes. I can’t tell you how I spent those ten days before my mom went back to China. Mom made me all kinds of my favorite food and kept joking around, trying to lift my mood. I tried to put on a smile from time to time so that mom wouldn’t be disappointed. But all I could think was: I’ll never get the person I love.

In front of the boarding gate at the airport, mom’s eyes were red. When it was time to part, she hugged me and whispered, “Xiaolei, go back to your country after graduation. Mom will help you find a good girl.”

(iii) The light at the end of the tunnel

A month after my mom returned home, I received a letter from her. The whole letter was about what she did when she got back, except for asking me to take care of my health. I could tell that she didn’t want to talk about what she had done in the United States. At the end of the letter it said that the family was preparing to install a telephone. “In a month or two, we’ll be able to talk directly!” Mom writes.

One night in the middle of April, I was lying in bed reading an article when the phone rang. I picked up the phone and heard my mom’s voice: “Xiaolei, guess who it is?”

Mom sounded excited and asked a series of questions about whether the call was clear, how my health was doing, and how my schoolwork was going.

I wanted her to hang up and wait for me to call back. She said no, that she hadn’t used the money she had brought back from the States to pay for a couple of long distance calls. Mom added that in a few weeks it would be the anniversary of Dad’s death, and she was going to the cemetery, and asked me if there was anything I wanted to say to Dad that she would pass on for me. After thinking about it, I asked her to tell Dad that I would take good care of and protect Mom for the rest of my life, so that he could rest assured. Mom didn’t say anything for a while, and when she spoke again it was as if she had just cried. I said that time was running out and that it was time to hang up. Mom was still a little reluctant. I promised her that I would talk to her once a month from now on, and then joked that if she talked too long this time and used up all the dollars she had saved in one go, I would have to pay for all future phone calls, and that would be unfair. Mom laughed and agreed.

By mid-July, I felt from the phone that my mom was not in a good mood and was preoccupied. I asked her if something unpleasant had happened, and mom said it was nothing and that I didn’t need to worry about it, and then changed the subject by asking me if I had made a new girlfriend. Ever since mom went back to China, she has avoided this topic in her letters and phone calls. I usually try not to think about it because it makes me feel bad. This time mom asked, I can no longer hold back: “Mom, I have someone in my heart, do not want to go to make any new girlfriend.”

The phone was quiet for a while, and then Mom’s voice came, “Xiao Lei, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought this up.”

Hanging up the phone, my heart was in turmoil. This conversation made me realize that my love for my mom hadn’t faded with time at all, and therefore the pain of that loss hadn’t lessened one bit. Not only that, but my intuition told me that my mom must have encountered something extremely unhappy. Mom is a very optimistic person, the same thing, other people can be angry with the smoke, to the mother here by her a joke on the resolution. Thinking about this, I remembered my promise to my dad to protect my mom for the rest of my life. Maybe I should go back and see her, I thought. I immediately booked my return ticket for mid-August. If mom’s mood didn’t improve by the next phone call, I’d fly right back.

This booked ticket was not used later for reasons I was not expecting at all.

It was a Sunday, August 10th (a date I’ll never forget), and I was sleeping when I was suddenly awakened by the phone ringing. It was my mom calling. I immediately had a bad feeling. It wasn’t the day of the call yet, and it was clear that I was the one who was supposed to call her last time. Mom asked if she was disturbing my sleep. She sounded a little nervous. I started cursing myself for not doing things right and why I had to wait until August when I had clearly planned to go back. I was about to ask my mom what had happened, but she spoke first: “Lei, I… I want to come to the US again… to see you… is that possible?”

I thought I heard wrong: “Mom, you mean…”

“Uh-huh. But… if you don’t want me to…”

“Mom, of course I want you to come! I’ll send the letter inviting you to the U.S. today!” I was overjoyed, but still remembered the question that disturbed me the most: “Mom, what happened? Are you all right?”

Mom hurriedly said: “Look at you scared. I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

I knew it was useless to ask any more questions, and it was imperative that my mom leave that environment as soon as possible. In the following days, I looked forward to my mom’s arrival every day as I did when I was a child. Mom’s passport was still valid, but due to the difficulties of the U.S. consulate, she went three times before she got her visa, and it was already early October when she arrived in the United States.

Mom looked so haggard it was heartbreaking. I asked her to take the bedroom and she agreed without pushing. Mom rested for two weeks to get rid of the jet lag and her face bled.

One day after dinner, I asked if she had encountered unpleasant things in China. She looked at me and thought for a while before slowly saying, “Xiao Lei, I know you love me and want to know why I came back.

You didn’t hide your heart from me then, and I won’t hide it from you now.”

When mom first decided to go back home, she didn’t blame me in her heart, but she was extremely disgusted with the United States because she felt that it was the influence of this culture that made me have those treacherous thoughts. She was so disappointed at the time that she planned to go back home and spend the rest of her life with her dad’s ashes.

At the end of June, at a performance for graduating students, my mom was introduced to a “guest of honor” who was said to be the president of a large company. The man seemed polite and unassuming, and invited Mom to visit his company on the spot. Mom thought he was being polite, so she agreed.

A few days later, the person’s secretary called mom and said that the president had time that afternoon and wished to invite mom to go, adding that a car would be sent to pick her up in a few minutes. Mom repeatedly excused herself, but the person said that everything had already been arranged and asked her to make herself at home. Mom had to agree. The host was very enthusiastic that day. Mom always felt uncomfortable with the suddenness of the event, but she was grateful for the host’s hospitality.

A week later, Mom received two phone calls. One was from the associate dean for finance at their college, saying that the company was willing to fund the college’s efforts to help it set up a student dance troupe that would benefit the students, the school, and the company, and that she wanted her mom to go talk to the company’s director about some technical details. The vice dean meant for her to get as close to the company as possible and not to lose this opportunity for the school. The other call was from the same secretary from the last time, about the collaboration as well. Mom had no choice but to reluctantly agree to meet that president again. This time, the guy shows his true colors, talking in an unsavory way and with an unkind look in his eyes. Mom hoped that he would back off and pretended not to see it at first. I didn’t expect him to become more and more exposed, and then even said that mom was alone anyway, and if she was willing to accompany him, she would get a lot of benefits, and the student dance troupe was naturally out of the question. As he spoke, he began to move his hands.

In a fit of anger, his mom hit him in the mouth and came home so angry she didn’t eat for two days.

When I called in mid-July, the incident was just three or four days old, which is why mom seemed moody and distracted.

Mom took a long breath, paused for a short while, then said: “I put down the phone that day, always thinking about what you said about not having the heart to find a girlfriend. I thought, I rejected such a considerate man, but came here to be angry at the hooligans, in the end for what? I was so angry at the time that I didn’t think it was inappropriate to think that way. After a few more days, my mood calmed down, and I intended to forget about it. I didn’t realize that the guy wouldn’t stop. A strange man called one day and said that their president was a big man and didn’t care about the unpleasantness of that day, but wanted me to seriously consider his proposal as well. I told him to drop dead of that. The man’s tone changed and he said coldly, ‘The president is just looking at your face and wants to give you a chance, but I didn’t expect you to be so ungrateful.’ I was furious and said I would sue them. The man grunted and said, ”You don’t think you can sue our president? I think you’d better be careful when you go out, don’t be inattentive and get hit by a car.'”

Mom’s eyes reddened as she spoke. I was so eager to buy a gun and go back home to kill that guy. I didn’t want my mom to be too sad, so I advised her not to go on. She interrupted me and said, “Xiaolei, it’s better for me to say it than to keep it in my heart. People say that once you come back from the dead, your view of life and death will change.

After this incident, I also had doubts about the so-called ethics and morality, and I turned over and over in my mind what you had said at the beginning of the year. Whether incest is right or wrong, I still don’t know. But as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, it’s better than that guy using his power and money to bully people. I understand how coming to the US again will likely end. I want to let things run their natural course, and I’m willing to accept whatever the outcome is, but you don’t destroy me, okay?” Mom said with her eyes on the floor and a red face.

My heart was pounding, and for the first time in my life I felt like a knight willing to sacrifice his life for his lover: “Mom, don’t worry, no matter what the outcome, I will still love you and protect you.”

After this conversation, my mom and I and our relationship gradually changed. Mom still talked and laughed and I was still a dutiful son. But our conversations began to have a flirtatious element to them. To avoid embarrassment, we both referred to my mom as “the one” when we flirted.

One night, we were watching an ice skating competition on TV when my mom suddenly asked me, “Xiao Lei, do you know how to dance?” I shook my head. At first, Kelly wanted to teach me, but I was not interested in learning. Mom looked at me with mischievous eyes and said, “Do you want to learn? I’m a famous dance teacher.”

“Of course I want to learn, learning it will give me another means of seducing my sweetheart.” I replied with the same look and tone.

In retrospect, I must have inherited the genes about dancing from my mom, because my dancing skills progressed quickly, even though more than half of my attention was focused on the hand that was wrapped around her waist.

Mom didn’t like to go to the store alone, so she taught herself English at home. One day, I came home early and heard my mom reciting a text: Can I borrow that magazine? No, you can’t. I realized that my mom was influenced by Chinese and pronounced the a before the n like the vowel in sun. I had another mischievous idea, so I went over to my mom and laughed and said that she couldn’t pronounce it correctly, so her “can’t” sounded more like another English word. Mom asked me which word it sounded like, and I made a face and laughed and said I couldn’t tell her. This, of course, piqued her curiosity even more and she insisted I tell her.

“That English word is cunt, meaning yes.” I said.

“What bi?” mom said, not catching on for a moment.

“It’s a woman’s pussy.” I said.

Mom’s face immediately turned red: “Xiao Lei, don’t talk nonsense!”

“I’m not bullshitting at all!” I grabbed my home Viktor’s college dictionary and pointed to the entry for cunt and said, “How do you pronounce that word?”

Mom tried, subconsciously covering her mouth with her hand.

I smiled and said, “Mom, if you make a mistake with this word, your “No, you can’t” will become “No. You cunt!” （No, youcunt!”

Mom’s face turned even redder, “Lei, what a nasty thing to say!”

I continued with a cheeky smile and said, “I’m just translating your words. Besides, I don’t see what’s so bad about it. It would be meaningless if my sweetheart’s didn’t have the slightest odor.”

“Lei, don’t give an inch!” Mom was really angry. I also knew that I had overdone it, so I quickly grabbed the trash can in the kitchen and went downstairs to take out the trash.

When I came back, mom was still sitting frozen on the couch. I gently walked over and whispered, “Mom, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have blabbed.”

Mom swept me a glance and asked, “Do you usually talk this freely?”

I thought about it and said, “I want to answer truthfully, but I’m afraid I’ll make you angry again.”

Mom scowled and said, “That’s better than lying.”

I said, “I usually don’t say a single dirty word. I only say this kind of thing to women who are close to me.”

Mom snorted with laughter, “Get out of here!”

After this incident, I was careful about what I said for weeks at a time. But Mom and I both understand now that sex is inevitable as long as our relationship continues to grow.

Mom’s birthday was in mid-December. My gift was a long, black, low-cut dress and a pair of black high heels that not only showed off all of Mom’s curves, but accentuated her dark hair and white skin more and more. I was going to invite her to a restaurant, but she said she’d rather talk to me at home. I fried two of Mom’s usual favorites and she raved about them, even though the level was nowhere near hers.

After dinner, mom suggested dancing. As my body swayed, my mom and I got closer and closer until I had her completely in my arms. Her head rested against my shoulder, and her exhaled breath tickled my neck. This is the first time I’ve been this close to my mom!

Just as I was feeling fluttery, my cock suddenly and involuntarily hardened, clamped like a big rubbery stick between my mom’s and my abdomen, being rubbed around by my swinging body. My face immediately reddened as I knew Mom could surely feel it too. Out of instinct, I gently pushed my mom away from me, leaving a gap between our bodies.

Throughout, Mom had been dancing in earnest as if nothing had happened.

After a few minutes, my mom suddenly laughed softly and looked at me with mischievous eyes and said, “Lei, you definitely have the worst brain when you’re dancing.”

I didn’t know where to begin, so I cracked a smile. I heard my mom continue: “The brain needs a lot of blood when thinking. When you dance, the blood is concentrated in the lower part of the brain, lack of blood, can still work well?” Said laughing out loud.

I realized that Mom was talking about my cock. I laughed happily, both because of Mom’s humor and because of the meaning of the joke: Mom had accepted that I was “sexually” interested in her.

It was winter break again, and I got to spend more time with my mom. Once, we rented a love movie made in the fifties. The plot in it was very moving. After the movie was over, I was still sitting on the sofa, dumbfounded by the tragic ending of the two main characters. Looking at my mom, who was also silent beside me, I felt very happy. I stretched out an arm to hug my mom, and she leaned softly against me. I lowered my head and kissed mom lightly on her forehead. Mom didn’t move. I couldn’t control it any longer and started kissing her eyes, her face, her earlobes, and finally pressed my mouth to Mom’s lips. Mom only froze for a second or two before she started kissing back.

I slipped the tip of my tongue into my mom’s slightly open mouth, and she had probably never used her tongue in a kiss before, so she didn’t know how to respond at first. But she soon got the gist of it and the tip of her tongue coiled like a snake against my invading tongue. A flash of heat shot from the tip of my tongue to my perineum and my cock immediately rose to hardness. It occurred to me that this type of kissing had a similar effect on my mom, and I began to visualize her engorged pussy lips and trickle of lust. My heart was pounding wildly, and leaving behind the “civilized” language that I had been carefully using for two months, I leaned my mouth to Mom’s ear and whispered, “Mom, are you all wet?”

Mom didn’t answer and pressed her soft lips against my mouth again.

I don’t know how long we kissed, except that when we finally parted, my lips were a little drenched, I was so wet in my panties that I looked like I had peed my pants, and my cock was so high that it looked like it was going to explode. I looked at my mom, and she looked at me, with a look in her eyes that I had never seen before. I lowered my gaze and softly pleaded, “Mom, as long as you don’t say yes, I promise not to move your body. But I really want to smell you down there.”

Mom didn’t say anything for a long time, then stood up and said softly, “It’s getting late, it’s time to rest.”

Disappointed, I walked into my bedroom and fell into bed with mixed emotions. After a few minutes, my mom knocked on the door and asked me if I was asleep. I said no, and my mom pushed the door and put something on my bed: “Xiao Lei, this is what you asked for. I can guess what you do with it. You promise me not to do too much. That’s not good for your body.” Said twisted out of the bedroom, closed the door tightly.

I picked up the item, a neatly folded pair of mom’s panties. I spread it out only to see that my pussy area was all wet and a strong smell of sea crabs filled my nostrils. I cum three times that night before I fell asleep exhausted.

The next morning, I woke up late and my mom had already made breakfast and was waiting for me to eat it. Mom was probably embarrassed about what happened last night, because she kept avoiding my gaze. Feeling that it was too late to avoid things when it came down to it, I smiled and said, “Mom, what you gave me last night was as strong and intoxicating as Moutai wine.”

My joke really worked. Mom smiled slightly and said, “It’s a good thing I can speak a few words of English now, otherwise I wouldn’t even be able to call an ambulance if you were so drunk you were unconscious.”

The night before Valentine’s Day, I danced with my mom while telling her that I was planning to give my sweetheart three gifts for the holiday, hopefully ones she would like to receive as well.

“That depends on what all the gifts are.” Mom replied with a smile.

I gave my mom a long look and said, “The first gift I bought for her, I can’t tell you now, but I’m sure it will surprise her on that day. The second gift,” I paused, “is that I hope to be able to lick my sweetheart’s pussy, so that she can enjoy the joys of being a woman in another way.”

Mom’s face went red to her ears and she didn’t say anything.

“As for the third gift, I think my sweetheart can guess,” I cocked my head at my mom : “Unless she’s still a virgin.”

Mom slapped me hard on my back, but there was no angry expression on her face: “Lei, you’re really bad!”

“Hey, Mom, haven’t you heard? Men don’t harbor, women don’t love.” I grinned cheekily and dodged my mom’s raised hand again.

(iv) Love will find a way come together.

On the afternoon of Valentine’s Day, I asked my mom to dress up in her favorite outfit and took her out to dinner at an elegant restaurant. We ordered red wine and I pre-ordered a red rose for her, which was delivered to our table by the waiter. The waiter, while putting the flowers in the vase, told mom that he was very envious to see that I had such a beautiful lady as my lover. With Mom’s level of English at the time, I know she understood.

Throughout the dinner, my mom looked like a shy little girl, her cheeks were flushed and she often seemed at a loss for words, contrary to her usual ease and comfort. When I got home, it was already past 9:00 p.m. I took out the gift wrapped in a box and asked her to open it in person. Inside was a set of lingerie from “Victoria’s Secret” (Victoria’s Secret).

They said it was lingerie, but it was really just a bra that didn’t even cover half of her breasts, and an equally slim panty.

Mom picked up the underwear with a little shyness, and suddenly took a breath of surprise. She stared at the open crotch panties and stammered, “This… this is open crotch, this… how can I… wear this…”

I tried my best to control my wildly beating heart to her ear, and said in a somewhat trembling voice, “Put it on just in time to reveal yours.”

Mom stared at the panties and whispered, “Lei, do you really want me to wear this…”

I wrapped my arms around my mom’s waist, “Will you wear it for me now?”

Mom took a long breath and said in a barely audible voice, “Wait here, don’t go in.”

I was sitting on the sofa thinking wildly when mom’s voice came out from the bedroom: “Xiao Lei, close your eyes.” I closed my eyes and listened to my mom open the bedroom door, walked to my front and stood, and then gently said: “Open it.”

I took a deep breath and slowly opened my eyes. Mom was standing almost completely naked in front of me, her legs tightly together. A dark mass of pubic hair was visible through the translucent fabric. I reached out and wrapped my hand around my mom’s ass from behind, rubbing my face against her belly slowly. I only heard my mom say softly, “Lei, I’ll give you a dance, okay?” I nodded, loosened my arms around her.

Mom took a few steps backward, closed her eyes, and danced a dance I’d never seen before. This dance had a small range of motion, mostly swinging of the limbs. I could quickly tell that it was a courtship dance, probably from Mom’s ethnic group. Many of the movements were heart pounding and some were a direct simulation of sexual intercourse. As Mom danced, my cock hardened and raised a tent over my pants. I began to remove my clothes piece by piece, but stopped when I was down to my underwear. Mom still had clothes on and I should wait. Mom was oblivious to me, completely absorbed in the dance until it was over, when she fell back to sit on the couch. Her eyes were closed, her chest was heaving, and little beads of sweat glistened on her body in the light.

I leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my mom’s lips, then a big kiss, while one hand went to her chest and unhooked her bra. My mouth began to slide down, from mom’s face, to her ears, neck, breasts, and finally taking one of her nipples into my mouth. Mom let out a small moan and her body shook slightly. I sucked and kissed from nipple to nipple, in turn, like I was breastfeeding, all the while feeling mom put her hand on my head and gently stroke my hair.

After kissing for a while, I looked up and said into my mom’s ear, “Mom, I’m going to give you my second present, okay?”

Mom nodded almost imperceptibly as I knelt on the carpet facing her and reached down to part her joined legs. Mom instinctively resisted for half a second, then parted her legs to the sides with my hand.

In the middle of the cigar-shaped split in my panties, I got my first glimpse of my mom’s pussy. Her pubic hair was dark and abundant, even on her labia majora. The labia minora were shaped like two plump roseate offices, spread out to the sides from engorgement, revealing a wet pink center. Suddenly, I felt an indescribably disproportionate feeling: I’m such a big guy, did I come into the world from this less than ten-centimeter-long slit back then? This feeling lasted for a second or two and was replaced by lust.

I leaned down, took a deep breath of the pussy-smelling air, took mom’s labia minora in turn into my mouth and sucked on them, then gently pulled the two petals to the sides with my hands, and licked the tip of my tongue along the opening of her slightly open vagina. Accompanied by mom’s moans, I stuck the majority of my tongue into her vagina, mimicking the movements in and out. After a few minutes, I moved the tip of my tongue upward, nudging it at the opening of her urethra before sucking Mom’s nub into my mouth. Mom drew a long breath and held my head in her hands. I held her thighs tightly while rubbing the tip of my tongue rapidly against her nub. Mom’s moans became more frequent and both hands pressed my head tightly against her pussy.

After several more minutes of licking, just as my tongue began to stiffen from fatigue, Mom suddenly lifted her ass and pushed her pussy forward while both legs clamped down on my head and a hiss-like sound escaped from her throat. This position lasted for a good ten seconds or so, then she quieted down and her body went limp on the bed. I lifted my head and saw that her eyes were closed and she was still breathing a little heavily, but the expression on her face was one of complete relaxation and contentment. Mom lay motionless for a few minutes and opened her eyes and smiled at me with a shyness I had never seen before.

I placed a light kiss on my mom’s lips and leaned in to her ear to ask her if she liked my second gift. She didn’t answer, just kept kissing me. I returned the kiss as I pulled off my panties, placed my mom’s hand on my rising and aching cock and said, “Here’s my third gift, put it in yours will you?”

Mom lifted her ass slightly from the couch and allowed me to remove her panties. I parted her labia minora with one hand, aligned my cock with the opening of her cunt with the other, and with a thrust of my hips forward, the head of my cock, which had risen like a ripe plum, slid into Mom’s slippery cunt. I hated to thrust to the end, but decided not to let my first contact with mom end too soon.

Inch by inch I plunged in, each inch was like my whole being gradually sliding into my mom’s body, back into that warm, safe and cozy home. I felt a bit like a dream, the world around me dissolving into a foggy void, the only proof of my existence being the gusts coming from my cock? Itch.

Suddenly, the head of my cock hit a hard protrusion, is the mouth of the mother’s uterus. She moaned and said softly, “It’s in the bottom.”

I looked down at where the two were joined and said, “It’s still over two inches short of being all the way in.”

Mom ran her fingers over the cock left outside and said with slight hesitation, “You go in slower.”

I slowly pushed forward, the head of the cock gently slipped through the mouth of the uterus, finally reached the end of the vagina. Mom waited for me to even root into, a long breath out, tense body relax, and then snort a laugh, whispered: “Shu Road is difficult, difficult to go up to the sky.”

I smiled and replied: “The first time to clear the path, later is a breeze.” While saying this, I pulled my cock out and plunged it to the bottom.

The intense pleasure made me lose control. I ignored mom’s gasps and moved in and out dramatically, and within two minutes I felt a ? itch expanding from my cock to my whole body, a spasm in my little tummy, and a wave of cum spurting deep into mom’s vagina like a flood at the breakwater. After the cum shot, I too possessed myself and collapsed on top of mom.

I drifted off to sleep for a few minutes and woke up to find myself still on top of my mom, my cock had gone limp but was still tucked inside her pussy. She was looking at me lovingly, one arm around my waist and the other gently stroking my hair.

I kissed her softly and said “Mommy, good Mommy, I love you!” My upper body moved and my cock slipped out of my pussy.

“You’re leaking, wipe me up.” Mom said. I took the tea from the ? Grabbed a couple sheets of cotton paper from the top and wiped away the milky white cum that was slowly oozing out of her half-open vaginal opening.

Suddenly, I remembered something: “Mom, I… I prepared a condom, but… I forgot to use it.” I stammered.

Mom put the cotton paper in her pussy, sat up from the sofa and kissed me: “Don’t worry, my period just ended the day before yesterday. Lei, let’s go to bed, okay?”

That night, it took my mom and I three times before I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, I opened my eyes and saw my mom with one arm on the pillow, propped up on her upper body, looking at me quietly. I remembered last night and reached out to take her in my arms: “Mom, what are you looking at?”

“I’m looking at my bad son, good man.” Mom said softly as she pressed her face into my chest.

As I stroked her spine and ass, I whispered, “Mom, were you comfortable last night?”

Mom hmmm’d and said with a blush on her face, “But… you were so good at it, my bottom is still a little hot.”

I kissed her and smiled, “I’m sorry, I’ll redeem myself by licking you.”

I was expecting my mom to refuse, but she nodded a little shyly and said, “I’ll go wash up first.”

I rolled over and pinned her to the bed, grinning, “Licking it like that makes it taste better.”

Mom struggled and said: “last night until now has not been washed, you do not mind dirty I still mind dirty. If you lick it like that, you can’t kiss my mouth later!”

“It’s a deal.” I laughed as I spread her legs and took half of her pussy into my mouth in one gulp before she could react.

Within two minutes, Mom came. I climbed on top of her and gently kissed her on the mouth.

Mom opened her eyes and pretended to be angry and said, “You’re not allowed to kiss me with that slutty mouth of yours.”

I kissed her again and said, “I’ll spare you if you promise me one condition.”

Mom tilted her head to avoid my mouth and asked, “What’s the deal?”

“You’ll have to tell me where the slutty taste on my mouth is coming from.”

“I digress.” Mom laughed and covered her mouth with her hand in case I kissed her again.

I reached out and put my right hand in her armpit and asked, “Are you going to say it?”

Mom was afraid of tickling and begged for mercy, “I said, it’s the smell of my… down there.”

“Not specific!” I reasoned, tickling her.

Mom smiled and said: “Xiao Lei, please, don’t scratch. Take your hand away and I’ll talk.” See I agreed, she put her mouth to my ear, whispered: “The smell of your mouth is my flavor. Satisfied? Little bad guy!” Said tightly hugged me.

I couldn’t hold back the physical contact and verbal teasing any longer, and while kissing mom like crazy, I freed up one hand and plunged my cock into her pussy. Mom’s body bobbed up and down with my thrusts. She kissed me moment by moment until I came. She caressed my face and whispered, “Lei, you’re so good.”

My heart was filled with love for her, and a question arose, “Mom, before you went to college, what did the boys in your village call you?”

Mom looked at me in puzzlement and said, “Everyone in the fortress calls me Chen.”

“Can I call you Sister Chen?” I asked.

Mom froze for a moment, then snorted with laughter: “Wrong. You should call me Chen sister, I call you Lei brother!” She kissed me, avoided my gaze and said: “Lei, you are my man, you want to call me how you can.”

I remembered another question: “Sister Chen, is it okay if I move in with you?”

Mom nodded and suddenly blushed, “Will you go buy some birth control pills today?”

“I’ll buy some condoms so you don’t have to take the pill.” I offered to suggest.

Mom’s face turned even redder: “I… I don’t want to be separated from you.”

“Mom, I love you!” In that moment, those were the only words I could find.

My mom and I became a married couple without a name. I couldn’t wait to have sex with my mom every minute of every day, but she insisted that I be moderate, saying that too much was bad for my health. I still found ways to help her with the housework, which she didn’t exactly reject, saying that sharing some of the chores was good for a man. During the day, my mom studied English and I went to school; after dinner, we sometimes chatted about everything, sometimes snuggled up and watched TV, and sometimes we simply looked at each other without looking away, as if we could never get enough of each other. We like to press our bodies together and dance slowly to the music. It’s times like these that I like to slip my hand down my mom’s panties from behind and gently caress her smooth, bouncy ass. I was so satisfied with my life that even my mentor said, half-jokingly and half-seriously, that I must have made a beautiful girlfriend.

I neither admit nor deny it, but it’s sweet inside.

There was only one thing on my mind, and that was that my mom never had an orgasm during intercourse. My knowledge of sex back then was really limited. I knew that Kelly had orgasms. According to her, these orgasms were more intense than the kind you get when you lick a pussy.

As for Penny and Eva, who both wave and squeal when they’re being taken, I naturally assumed they were just like Kelly.

(Many years later, I read on the internet that American women often fake orgasms in order to please men and to show that they themselves are not frigid.) Whether this was the case with Penny and Eva, I have no way of knowing.) So I assumed that every woman can have an orgasm when she does, which is what I really meant when I had to give my mom my third gift on Valentine’s Day.

But more than two weeks had passed without any sign of Mom having an orgasm. I was puzzled and always felt that I owed her something. Finally, I decided to ask Kelly again.

Kerri and I found a corner in a coffee shop we used to frequent and sat down. She was working on her doctoral dissertation and hoped to graduate in the summer. Since I hadn’t said anything on the phone about the reason for the meeting, she was a little worried and asked me what had happened. I stammered that my mom and I had moved in together (livetogether). Kelly hesitated and cautiously asked if I regretted it. I shook my head.

“And is your mom happy with the arrangement?”

Kerri asked again.

“My mom loves me and is happy, but…” my face flushed red, feeling embarrassed to talk about such things with outsiders, “but she doesn’t have orgasms during sex.”

With undisguised relief, Kerri half-joked, “Doesn’t your tongue work pretty well?”

“I don’t mean with the mouth. It’s… it means during intercourse.” I explained.

Kelly understood my question and told me that not every woman gets an orgasm from intercourse and that as long as my mom enjoyed oral sex she didn’t have to worry about it. Undeterred, I asked her if I could ask a personal question about her. Kerri nodded.

“Were you able to have orgasms like this from the beginning, or did you later…”

She smiled, drew a cross-section of the female genitalia on a napkin, then traced a position on the front wall of the vagina a few times and said: “The place two or three inches in from the vaginal opening is very sensitive and is called the G-spot. You start by picking there with your finger, and if your mom feels like she has to pee, you’ve found the right spot. With continued stimulation, some women can have an orgasm that is more intense than oral sex.”

I said thank you in quick succession. Kelly said she wanted me to succeed, but not to take this too seriously.

“Making your mom feel like you truly love her is more important than anything else. Also, make sure you cut your nails before you pick, otherwise it’s not safe.” She said.

Later that night, I licked Mom’s pussy while massaging the front wall of her vagina with my index and middle fingers, just as Kelly had told me to do. At first, mom did not respond. After rubbing it for a while, mom suddenly said, “Don’t pick at it. You make me want to pee.”

I felt happy in my heart and said, “Just bear with me for a while, it will be fine in a while.”

I proved to be too optimistic. Not only did the finger massage not produce any results, but I also found it difficult to reach the G-spot with the head of my cock while I was at it, as that part of the vagina is recessed towards the small of my back and out of the trajectory of the thrusts. I tried this for over a week straight, and I made no progress except that my mom became accustomed to the peeing sensation caused by finger picking and rubbing. Maybe Kelly was right, not every woman has a G-spot orgasm.

In mid-March, my mentor and I traveled out of town for a conference. It was a three-day conference, but the host, who had been a student of my mentor’s, kept us there for an extra day and did us the honor of being the host. I missed my mom and was anxious to return, but I had to put on a happy face because I was in the way.

It was the evening of the fourth day when I returned home. My mom served me rice and pickles from Chinatown, saying that I had just gotten off the plane and it was good to eat something light. I hurriedly ate a few bites, which was a good way to turn in. Then I took my mom in my arms and a kiss lasted for several minutes.

I changed my breath and asked while gently biting her earlobe, “Mom, did you miss me?”

Mom leaned her face against my shoulder and hmmm’d.

“Is it about me or my cock?” I gave an inch.

Mom kissed me and said in a barely audible voice, “Both.”

I pulled her to sit on the couch and slipped one hand into her underwear, twisting and rubbing her already hardened nipples with my thumb and forefinger. Mom’s breathing became thicker and thicker. Suddenly, she asked in a hoarse voice against my ear, “Do you really like my having a slutty odor?”

I nodded excitedly as I heard my mom initiate swearing for the first time.

Mom then said, “I didn’t wash it this morning, so I saved it for you.”

I pinched her nipples and said with a smile, “No wonder there was only rice porridge and pickles. So the good food is still in the back…”

I suddenly had an idea. I ran into the bedroom and took out a thick quilt and spread it on the dining room table and brought in another pillow. Then I pulled my mom up from the couch, undressed her in three tries, and picked up her naked body and laid it on the dining room table. I lifted her legs and pushed them up to her chest, and put another pillow under her ass so that her pussy was the most prominent part of her body.

I pulled over a chair and sat at the table, gently parted her labia, smiled and said: “The name of the last dish is morning mussels with dew.” I was afraid that mom did not understand, looked at her from between her legs and said: “morning morning, is your name. Mussel is this,”

I opened and closed her pussy lips a few times, and then said, “As for the dew inside the clam, it is the essence of this dish.”

Since her pussy was only a few inches from my face, I could smell a strong fishy odor. Without waiting for my mom to respond, I lowered my head slightly and buried my face between the dewy flesh of the “clam”.

I sucked and licked for a while when mom suddenly pushed my head away and said in a muffled voice, “I don’t want my mouth, I want your cock.”

I stood up, parted her labia minora with one hand, aimed the purple glowing cock head at the half-open vaginal opening with the other, and with a single thrust, the small half of my cock disappeared into her pussy. I was about to push in on the pleasure, when it occurred to me that Mom’s ass was in a high position, and I was thrusting from the bottom to the top of the front, when the head of my cock was right at the G-spot. I pushed the pillows to cushion her bottom higher. Then one hand on her belly gently downward pressure, the other hand to hold the cock, aiming at the G-spot hard movement. After ten minutes or so, I was already sweating my ass off, and mom’s moans were getting louder and louder, a burst of ? itch from the cock spread all over the body. I couldn’t hold out any longer, and a stream of hot cum shot into mom’s pussy.

Mom obviously knew I was cumming, gasping for breath and begging me: “No, don’t stop!” While saying this, she shook her body back and forth, initiating me.

Luckily my cock doesn’t go soft right after I cum. I took a breath and matched my mom’s movements, aiming my thrusts at the G-spot repeatedly. After another 20 or 30 strokes, mom’s whole body suddenly tensed up, her entire vagina twitched violently, and she let out a shrill sound in her throat.

“It worked!” I just had time to finish thinking those three words when I saw a stream of liquid squirt out of my mom’s pussy and all the way down to my tits. I thought I was seeing things at first, but quickly realized it wasn’t an illusion. The liquid was shooting out of her urethra, four times in total, the first three times with such force that they shot straight up my body, and the last time seemed breathless. By then mom’s cunt was still twitching, but her body had gone limp.

After a while, mom opened her eyes, pulled me to her, kissed me and murmured, “Lei, you’re killing me… take me to bed, okay?”

I picked up her soft body and walked into the bedroom. I stroked her hair and asked, “Chen, were you comfortable just now?”

“Well, that’s nice of you.” Mom said as she eyed me.

“What did it feel like just now?” I asked.

Mom thought for a few seconds, as if remembering what had just happened, and then slowly said, “You were licking me very well, but I always felt… empty inside and wanted you. From the very beginning, you made me want to pee. I resisted at first, but then I felt quite comfortable. And then… I don’t know… I just wanted you to keep stabbing that place. And then, I felt like my lower body was melting, and I couldn’t…” Mom stopped in the middle of her sentence, her face turned red, she looked at me embarrassed, and said, somewhat at a loss, “Did I… did I just pee?”

I kissed her forehead and replied with a smile, “Not only did I pee, but I peed so high it sprayed all over me!”

Mom’s face turned even redder: “I felt that I couldn’t control it, and at that time… I didn’t want to control it, but as soon as I got loose down there, it was as if my whole body was turned into a stream of water and went away. I’ll try next time, maybe I can hold it in.”

Looking at her at a loss for words, I put my arm around her and said: “Mom, as long as you are comfortable, you can pee whenever you want. No need to hold it in. The big deal is that in the future under a few more layers of bath towels.”

“You’re so good to me.” Mom said with her head against my chest.

I grinned. “Besides, it’s a thrill to watch yours squirt upward like a geyser, hopefully every year, month, and day from now on!”

“I knew you were upset!” Mom nipped at my shoulder.

“Mom, in the past, I was the only one who ejaculated every time, it’s not fair. From now on, I ejaculate, you spray urine, this is the real equality of men and women.” I paused for a moment, half-jokingly, half-seriously continued: “I promised before, to take good care of you, let you enjoy the blessings, to today is a little bit of fulfillment.”

Mom did not wait for me to finish, on the giggle. Only after a while did she stop laughing, and pretending to be serious, she said: “You are really a filial son, you can make your mom lose her urine incontinence. The world can be compared to you really not many!”

Much later, I learned from books that what my mom ejaculated was not urine, but a liquid similar to a man’s semen. Of course there was no sperm in it. Kelly was right, not all women have G-spot orgasms. And not all of those who have G-spot orgasms ejaculate. As for mom’s ability to squirt sperm far and wide, it may have something to do with the fact that she has years of dance training and developed pelvic muscles.

(V) Morning Mussels Spit Out Pearls

A small thing happened in early April that has affected my mom and I for the rest of our lives. We lived in a graduate student apartment where cockroaches were exterminated once a year in the spring. That morning, I was just about to go to the lab after breakfast when the cockroach exterminator came. He learned that we were from China, and began to say in strangely-voiced Chinese that he had studied Chinese before and wanted to travel to China, and then said to me, “Your, wife, is, very, beautiful.”

Mom opened her mouth to explain, and I grabbed my thanks, sort of acknowledging our relationship as a couple. Actually, I didn’t have any particular motive. Mom looked young, plus Americans often can’t tell the age of Asians, and almost all of the people living in this apartment were couples, so the guy was justifiable despite his talkativeness, and I didn’t need to explain myself to him. Besides, God knows if our explanation would lead to more bullshit. I didn’t want to rap with him. I thanked him, said “bye” to my mom, opened the door and left.

In the hallway, I heard the guy stuttering again, “Your, our, little children, must be, also, very, pretty.”

The experiment went well that day, but I always felt there was something I should do, but I couldn’t remember what it was. When I got home in the evening, my mom said during dinner, “Xiaolei, why did you admit to that worker this morning that we are husband and wife, what if he told the world?”

“Don’t worry, Americans don’t care about other people’s business. Besides, he can’t tell who’s who in China, so no one would believe him even if he said it.” I said.

Mom was still a little upset: “And even after you left, he kept talking about how we should have a daughter, as beautiful as mom…”

“Should have had a daughter!” My heart fluttered. That’s what I hadn’t thought of even after thinking about it all day! When I was little, I often heard my mom say that she wished she had given me a sister, and now… “Lei, what are you staring at?” Mom’s voice interrupted my thoughts.

I looked at my mom and said, “Mom, didn’t you want another daughter before?”

“But I was very busy with work at that time, plus your father said that China was too populous…” mom said.

“I couldn’t then, but I can now.” My thoughts rushed out.

Mom sighed softly, “What’s the point of talking about it, your father is gone.”

I could feel my heart pounding, but still said in a lighthearted tone, “There’s still me when dad’s gone!”

Mom looked at me in disbelief for several seconds, then suddenly averted her gaze, her face flushed red, and whispered, “Don’t be ridiculous!”

“Mom, I’m not kidding you.” I sat down next to my mom and gently wrapped my arms around her.

Mom sighed and said, “I’m already old. Besides, even if a child is born, should I call you brother or father?”

“Mom, you just had your thirty-ninth birthday a few months ago. There are a lot of women having babies in their forties these days.”

As I said this, I clarified my thoughts, “If you really have a daughter, it doesn’t matter what you call me, as long as your wish is fulfilled. Think about it, if I call you mom, it won’t stop…” I put my mouth to mom’s ear: “I’ll make you pee so much that you’ll lose control of your bowels.”

Mom was amused by me. She gently pushed me away and said: “Well, having children is not a small matter. Let’s eat first. It’s getting cold.”

For several days in a row, I noticed that my mom was often fidgety and said very little. Saturday morning, as usual, I lay in bed with my eyes closed, one hand gently rubbing mom’s breasts. She suddenly said, “I’ve thought about it. I can’t have children with you.” Seeing the look of disappointment on my face, she kissed me and continued, “I do always want to have another child, preferably a daughter. You’re right, since we’re already married in bed, the world’s ethics are meaningless anyway. But we are close relatives, and I’m getting older, so if I have a defective child, I’ll be doing her a disservice. Besides, I’ve been out of the country for a few years, and I’m coming back with a child in my arms. The gossip around me could eat me up.”

I have to admit that her words are reasonable. Mom paused and said: “Xiao Lei, I know you want to fulfill a wish for me. But I am satisfied with you now. When you graduate and return to China, find a good girl and give me a granddaughter.”

Seeing me still sullen look, mom reached out to hold my cock, rubbing the edge of the head with her thumb, waiting for me to react, she rolled over and rode on top of me, her vaginal opening aligned with the head of my cock, her body sank down, and inserted her cock into her. She leaned over and hugged me, kissing me while murmuring, “Good little Lei, I love you.”

I stopped talking to my mom about having a daughter. Since I knew what she was thinking, it was better to clear the air than to talk about it. Mom was worried about two things: the child’s genetic defects and gossip when she returned home. I’m healthy, so I don’t have to worry about my father’s genes. I made a few calls to hospitals and the Family Planning Service and found a geneticist. He checked the available databases for me and found no documented genetic disorders in mom’s ethnicity. As for consanguineous marriage (I made up a story about cousins in love beforehand) he said that Asians have a genetic anemia that occurs very infrequently and can be detected with a blood test. He also suggested checking to see if there had been any inbreeding in the family already and what happened to their offspring.

I immediately wrote to a cousin (my uncle’s child) that I had participated in a survey about genetic diseases in Asian populations and asked for his help in finding out what was going on. While waiting for a reply, I went to the hospital and had tests done for hereditary anemia, which proved to be fine. I also learned that a fetus with an obvious birth defect could be detected by an ultrasound in the twentieth week of pregnancy. A month later, my cousin’s reply arrived. He said he hadn’t heard of anyone in the family being born with a disease. A distant uncle was married to his own cousin, and their children, one of whom worked for the county government and one of whom was in college, were also healthy. At this point, I have tentatively ruled out the possibility of a genetic disease.

The easiest thing to do to avoid trouble back home is to stay abroad. I have been in the United States for almost exactly three years now, and I have completed all of my courses, passed my doctoral qualifying exams, and am working on a research project with my advisor. I have decided to strive to graduate by the end of the year and try to find a job in the US where I can change my status. To be honest, I had no idea if this plan would work out. But my mom’s concern about age was justified. A book on common sense childbirth says that the health of an older woman is more likely to be negatively affected. Mom will be forty by the end of the year, and the sooner she gets pregnant, the better, and the pregnancy is contingent on me finding a permanent job in the United States.

I began to work overtime on my project, usually getting up early and coming home late, even spending Saturdays in the lab. My mom didn’t know what I was planning to do, and seeing how busy I was, she advised me several times to loosen up and not get too tired.

“You’re only twenty, a lot of people don’t finish college at that age. You can’t do well in school without a good body.” Her eyes were always red when she said this.

I didn’t want to make her happy for nothing when I hadn’t gotten to the eight, so I had to kiss her and tell her that the busiest phase would soon be over. Mom also advised me to cut down on sex, to which I agreed. The truth is that a head full of experimental data and questions does reduce libido. But what you owe during the week is always made up for at the end of the week. My sex marathon with my mom usually started on Saturday night and lasted until noon on Sunday. Whenever that happened, my cock almost never left her pussy, and I stuck it in there even when I slept.

One time, my mom half-jokingly said that our family’s expenses had increased recently because she was using four times as many pads as she used to. When I asked why, she smiled, slapped me on the face and said, “Every Sunday morning, my stomach is filled with egg whites. If I don’t use a pad, I can’t go to the supermarket in the afternoon!”

In early May, it was the second anniversary of Dad’s death. Throughout the day, Mom was lethargic, and the occasional word came out of her mouth. I came home early in the afternoon and made dinner. Mom ate a few bites and went back into the bedroom. I cleaned up the dining room table and the kitchen, went into the bedroom, and saw Mom lying motionless on her side and clothed on the bed.

“Mom, you’re not sick, are you?” I asked softly.

“I’m not sick, I just want to lie still for a while.” She said.

I thought about it and said, “Mom, I’ll sleep outside tonight.”

I was about to turn around and exit when mom said, “Don’t go. Turn off the light and come to bed and hold me…”

I lay down on the bed and hugged her from behind. We just cuddled together in the darkness, motionless and silent, with my mom’s rear pressed against my front, but I didn’t feel the slightest bit of lust, only that I loved my mom, appreciated everything she had done for me, and would do anything for her happiness. I don’t know how long it took, but we both fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up a little after nine o’clock and my mom was still asleep. I gently got out of bed and went to the guest hearing to call the lab and tell them that I had some business to attend to until noon. I was going to do some chores and then make lunch so my mom could rest a little longer. I finished washing up and was about to go to the roof to do some laundry when Mom called me from her bedroom.

I walked over to the bed, sat down beside her and asked, “Mom, are you feeling better?”

Mom smiled and said: “After a sleep, much better.” She paused for a few seconds and then said, “Lei, your father and I have been husband and wife for twenty years, and he has been very kind to me and has never blushed with me. I can’t forget him…”

“Mom, I understand.” I thought for a moment and asked, half-curious, half-nothing, “Is it true that you and my dad never had a fight?”

Mom narrowed her eyes and said in a reminiscent manner, “Your father was particularly easy-going and obeyed me in everything. There were only two things in his life that he didn’t compromise on, so I listened to him.”

“What two things?” My curiosity got the better of me.

Mom stared into the void with both eyes and smiled, then said softly, “One thing is for you to go to college early, and the other thing…” a blush spread across her face. “Is not to have a second child. He said that China is too populous and that having a child would affect my career.”

I felt a rush in my heart, but decided not to tell my mom about my plan yet. She was quiet for a moment, turned her gaze to my face, touched my hand and said, “I just heard you call for a vacation. Let’s use this time to talk for a while, okay?”

I nodded.

After breakfast, we sat on the sofa and mom looked me in the eyes and asked, “Lei, don’t you have any regrets about our relationship?”

My heart tightened and I hurriedly replied, “I don’t regret it at all!”

Mom put her hand on my leg and said softly, “You know incest is against the social norms. Doesn’t it affect you at all?”

I was honest: “I felt a sense of guilt when I first started thinking of you as a woman. But not anymore, because I love you and I know you love me.”

Mom stared into my eyes for a moment and said, “You promise me that if you ever feel uncomfortable about our relationship, you’ll let me know.”

I nodded and asked, “Mom, why did you think of that?”

Mom sat in silence for a while and slowly said, “There are three things that I can’t let go of. First, I’m afraid that social ethics will put pressure on you and affect your studies and career. Since you say there is no pressure now, I believe you. Secondly, I am afraid that our current relationship will affect your ability to find a girlfriend in the future. Also I’m worried that I won’t be able to leave you in the future…”

“Mom, I’ll never leave you. I’ll marry you after I graduate!” The words of my heart snatched out of my mouth.

Of course, mom didn’t understand the context of my words. Her face flushed red and she smiled, saying, “Don’t talk nonsense. …Lei, Kerri is nine years older than you, and I am nineteen years older than you. You’ve never dated a girl your own age. It would be unfair to yourself if you were to settle down with an old woman at such a young age.”

I knew she was joking, but she was worried about my future. I decided to “come clean” about Penny and Eva. I talked and mom listened. When I talked about swapping partners, my mom frowned and then turned red in the face.

Speaking of Eva, my mom looked at me with wide eyes and a look of surprise.

Finally, I said, “Mom, since you, I know what love is. Before that, I only knew sex. But I’ve been with young girls, and I don’t think they have any special charm.”

“I told you that the United States has brought you down, and it’s true.” Mom finished, sat without a word for a few minutes, suddenly whispered: “Lei, I have not seen your cock carefully.”

That was a reaction I hadn’t expected. I stood up and took off my clothes piece by piece in front of my mom. When only my panties were left, Mom stopped me and told me to lie down on the bed. She leaned over and knelt beside me, slowly pulling my underwear off, then looking at my hardening cock like a piece of china, occasionally smearing the mucus from my urethra onto the side of the head. An itch of rejuvenation traveled through my body. I reached down and lifted my mom’s long skirt, pulling down her panties so that she was riding upside down in front of me, her pussy right in my face. The excitement on my cock, the wide open pussy and the familiar smell turned me on beyond belief. I pulled my mom’s ass downward, rubbing my wet pussy lips over my face back and forth. Between the round ass, the plump thighs, and the hot radiating pussy, I felt unspeakably full and satisfied, as if any worldly worries and concerns had become meaningless.

After an indeterminate amount of time, my mom’s moan brought me back to reality. Her body stiffened for a few seconds, then she turned and went limp beside me and said, “Lei, I want you.”

As I thrust my cock into her pussy, I asked, “You’ve had a good look at my cock. What do you think?”

Mom glanced at me with a mischievous look and said: “It’s not like you. You look quiet, usually quite polite. But your cock grows big and thick, red and purple, and a cocky, as if it is very unimpressive.”

I laughed and decided to fight back : “Don’t just talk about me. Yours is also very different from yours. Look at you so beautiful, skin and white and smooth, who would have thought that your labia will be so dark in color, but also full of hair, live like Kui Li’s face.”

Mom narrowed her eyes and smiled teasingly, “Do I have more hair than Eva? Ouch, you bastard, you’re killing me!”

The summer went by in a flash. At the beginning of September, I finally produced preliminary results on my topic. My supervisor was very excited and said that we had opened up a new direction for the research and application of this topic. I took the opportunity to raise the hope of graduating at the end of the year and trying to find a job in the United States. Seeing the question mark on his face, I added that I was eager to do so for important “personal reasons” and hoped that he would understand.

His blue eyes stared at me for three minutes, then raised his eyebrows and said: “Only love can make a smart guy like you give up a bigger future. (Onlylovecanmakeasmartguylikeyougiveupamuchbrightercareer.)” He promised to write a letter to his connections in the company recommending me immediately and giving me detailed suggestions for my next step in my research.

I often thought afterward that I had learned from him not only the latest knowledge, but also generosity and selflessness toward others. He was a good old man.

At the end of September, three companies expressed interest in my research and wanted me to interview. My first choice was a large company on the West Coast. Not only did this company have a strong research department, but it was located in a state that allowed abortion. This condition was important. In the event of a defective fetus, I wanted the mom to have a choice.

The interview went better than I expected. The vice president of research, who had been a classmate of my advisor, said without ambiguity that I could work for his company as soon as I received my doctorate. He also said yes to my request to change my immigration status. The trip was a great success.

When I got home, I couldn’t contain my excitement any longer and picked up my mom and spun her around the guest house twice.

“Put me down now! What makes you so happy?” Mom asked with a smile.

“Mom, I’ll graduate at the end of the year, and I already have a company that wants to hire me and has promised me immigration!”

I finished in one breath and realized that my mom was staring at me blankly, not even listening. It then occurred to me that Mom knew neither my overall plan nor the specific purpose of my outing.

I pulled her to sit on the sofa and said: “Mom, I just need to stay in the United States, you can live for a long time, you can also rest assured that the child, do not have to worry about returning to the country after the gossip. I now have a job, you can get pregnant right away!”

Mom looked at me for a while without saying a word, and suddenly her eyes reddened: “Xiao Lei, you didn’t work on your project this summer without dying, just for this?”

When I nodded, she sighed and murmured, “If I had known that my words would tire you out like that, I wouldn’t have…” Tears fell down her face before she finished her sentence.

I took my mom in my arms and said, “Mom, it’s not a bad thing to graduate early and earn money early. Besides, I’ve been a son for twenty-one years, and I want to taste what it’s like to be a father!”

“Shame on you!” Mom breaks into a smile and a red cloud rises on her face. She looked at me and asked, “What if the child is born with a disease?”

I told the information I had gathered over the months, then hugged my mom and said in a petulant tone, “Mom, I’ve done all I can do, it’s about time you contributed a little.”

Mom kissed me on the cheek and said, “It’s not a small thing. Let me think about it.”

The next morning, I woke up when my mom had already made breakfast. Midway through the meal, my mom suddenly said with her eyes fixed on the thin rice, “I haven’t thought about it yet, but I want to go to the hospital for a gynecological checkup.”

Mom had already moved on! I jumped over to my mom, kissed her a few times without a head, and said, “No problem! I’ll call you right away to make an appointment.”

“You’ve done all you can do. You don’t have to worry about this one.” Mom said, half sarcastically, half jokingly.

I knew that her English was good enough for simple everyday conversation, but I was still uneasy: “Mom, you have to make it clear to the doctor that it’s not a routine checkup, it’s for pregnancy…”

Mom laughed and interrupted me, “You’re not afraid to grow gray hair if you worry! Get your ass to the lab!”

A week later in the evening, I was about to penetrate my mother’s body with my cock in one hand, she suddenly asked me to wait, and then took out a packet of condoms from under the pillow: “The doctor said that the dose of the birth control pills is small, and you can get pregnant immediately after stopping the pills. But I want to stop for ten days, it’s safer. In ten days, it will be the time of ovulation.”

Mom finally agreed! She paused for a moment and then said, “You’ll also have fewer times these days. It will increase your chances of getting pregnant.”

I shoved my condomed cock into her pussy and raised my right hand like an oath and said, “I promise, I’ll use all three of these condoms and then I’ll start to build up my strength.” After saying this, he leaned over and kissed his mom, smiling and said: “Mom, do you remember? A year ago I said a slut, you got angry. See how natural you are to say dirty words now!”

Mom swept me a glance and suddenly pulled a face and said, “Lei, you’re leaking STDs to me.”

I didn’t know where to begin with that, but my heart sank involuntarily. I knew Kerri was especially careful about this sort of thing, but we had had contact with other people after all, and the possibility of getting an STD couldn’t be completely ruled out. It would be a pretty nasty thing for me to have an STD, and it would be an even bigger crime to pass it on to my mom.

My mom probably saw that I was scared and put her arms around me and said, “You’re full of bad words and you’ve been kissing me all day long.

Now I’m full of dirty talk too. What’s that if it’s not leaking STDs from you?” Said Giggles.

Friday, October 23rd was another day never to be forgotten. After dinner, Mom suggested dancing. As our bodies got closer, my cock got hard as usual. Mom used her belly to gently rub a few times on the meat stick, narrowed her eyes and asked: “Want to pass it on?”

I lifted her skirt and put my hand close to her panties, noticing that her pussy was already dripping with water, I smiled and said, “Looks like you’re in more of a hurry than I am.”

Mom’s face flushed, said: “You wait here, I told you to go in before you go in.” Said quickly into the bedroom.

A few minutes later, I pushed open the bedroom door to an unbelievably sensational sight. Mom was kneeling naked on the edge of the bed, her legs spread at a ninety-degree angle, and her upper body was low on the bed, making her plump ass the most prominent part of her body. From where I stood, her genitals were visible: in the middle of the snow-white thighs and buttocks, the black-haired labia majora formed a cigar-leaf pattern, surrounded by the petal-like labia minora that parted on both sides, and the pink vaginal opening was half-open, and the obscenity glistened with a wet light under the light.

I went to the bed and knelt down like a man possessed and sucked half of my pussy into my mouth without even thinking about it. Mom wiggled her ass and said, “Okay, the ground is wet enough, it’s time to plant the seed.”

I stood up, stripped off my clothes and plunged my rising cock into my slippery pussy.

Making love in this position is a routine for me. But this time it gave me a different feeling. Looking at the cock moving in and out of my vaginal opening, it was as if I understood for the first time that the fundamental function of sexual intercourse is to reproduce offspring. I thought of the squid fish in the TV program, swimming thousands of miles to their spawning grounds and dying by the thousands on the sea bed after accomplishing their mission. For them, the meaning of life is to produce offspring. Do they have pleasure in that crucial moment? I thought again about how twenty-one years ago it was this cunt gulping my cock that brought me into the world, and now I was making new life in the same organ. Could there be any more precise expression of the cycle of life than this moment? On another thought, I found it comical to ponder philosophical questions while having sex, cracked a smile, and focused my attention on the top of my cock, thrusting drastically.

After a few minutes, I pressed my belly against my mom’s ass and shot my cum deep inside her.

I pulled out my softening cock and lay down next to my mom, seeing that she was still crouched on her knees on the bed, her face flushed and covered in tiny beads of sweat, and her breathing not very even.

“Mom, what’s wrong with you?” I asked.

She sucked in a breath and whispered, “You just thrust so deep. My insides felt like they were in the wrong place.”

I then remembered that usually when I make love in this position, my mom can’t fully accommodate me. I regretted getting carried away and forgetting to take care of her.

“I’m sorry, I forgot. But why did you pick that pose?” I asked casually.

“Before I got married, Auntie in the Walled City said this position was the easiest to get pregnant. Whether it works or not I don’t know, but there’s no harm in it.” Mom said.

“Then you can tell me if I just thrust too deep.” I said.

Mom stopped talking, a look of embarrassment flashed across her face, then changed the subject and said, “I’m a bit tired. It’s getting late. Go to bed.” Said while snuggling to my side, reached out to turn off the light.

Late one night in late July of the following year, I sat on a couch outside the hospital delivery room, pretending to be calm and reading a magazine while anxiously wondering how my mom was doing in the delivery room. Those nine months had gone by so fast! Mom got pregnant the first month she stopped taking her birth control pills. Then came my thesis defense and graduation, during which I had to go through the hiring process with my company, and then the move of my family to the West Coast. In retrospect, it all seems like a fog, except for one thing: after the graduation ceremony, there was a party for the degree recipients and their families. I walked toward my mother in my doctoral gown and found her standing there, looking at me quietly, with a look of love and pride in her eyes for her son, but also satisfaction and love for her lover. Others might not have understood her eyes, but I did. At that moment, I thought that if I took a picture of my mom with the caption “Wife and Mother”, it would surely win a prize in a photography contest.

When we moved to the West Coast, we rented a fancy apartment on the outskirts of the city, away from the office, with mostly “yuppies” (yuppies) working in the high-tech industry as neighbors. It was Kelly’s idea. She had graduated six months before me and was working as an assistant professor at a university in Canada. According to her, the yuppies usually don’t care about other people’s business, and many of them are workaholics who often go out early and come back late, which can save us a lot of trouble.

It turns out she was right. We’ve lived here for over six months now, and we’ve only met the young man across the street a total of four times, all in front of the elevator door, and always with a quick hello and going our separate ways. Soon after we moved in, I rubbed my mom’s slightly protruding belly and suggested that we go to Vegas to get married, since no one here knows about our mother-son relationship anyway. Mom shook her head and said, “You’re working now, and once you get married, you’ll have to bring your wife on many occasions. If you don’t take me with you, it won’t fit in here, and it won’t last long. If I take me, there’s no guarantee that I won’t run into my old classmates and friends. Let’s just do what we’re doing now, it’s quiet and no one bothers us.”

I heard her make sense and stopped talking about getting married. In the twentieth week of her pregnancy, the mother went for an ultrasound, which proved that there were no obvious defects in the fetus. The doctor asked her if she wanted to know the sex of the baby, and she said she didn’t want to know, as long as the baby was healthy, that was enough.

The date of delivery was getting closer and closer. At one o’clock in the middle of the night later that day, my mom woke me up and said it was time to go to the hospital. It was now after three o’clock, how was mom doing? Would it be a difficult labor? Was the baby really not defective? Was it a boy or a girl? I thought without a clue and fell asleep without realizing it.

“Sir, would you like to go in and see your mother?” The nurse’s voice woke me up.

Looking at my watch, it was just after six o’clock. I followed the nurse into the delivery room and saw my mom lying on the bed with her hair in disarray, holding a small pink thing on her chest. When she saw me, she smiled breathlessly and held up the little ball of flesh, saying, “It’s a girl. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

The heart I had been hanging on to finally dropped. If the nurses hadn’t been there, I would have hugged and kissed my mom. Since both mother and daughter were healthy, the hospital let them go home the next day.

That night, I cleaned up the kitchen, went into the bedroom, see mom is breastfeeding. She looked at me and said with a smile, “Lei, what should we name the baby?”

I said what I had been thinking about all day: “Can we call it ‘Dawn and Rain’? Dawn as in dawn, rain as in rain. It was early in the morning when she was born, and it was raining outside. And,” I paused, “Dawn is also the word for morning in your name.”

Mom nodded and said, “That’s a pretty plain name, let’s call it Xiaoyu.”

I went on to say, “You’ve been thinking about this daughter for twenty years, so let her take your name.”

Mom lifted her gaze from Xiaoyu’s face and looked at me fondly, saying, “No, she is your daughter and should take your surname. … but since she calls me mom, you should condescend to be her brother.”

That sounded logical, and I nodded.

I was expecting Xiaoyu’s arrival to affect the pace of our life, but my mom has everything organized and Xiaoyu’s sleeping habits are in sync with ours. So except for her occasional waking up in the middle of the night, life was business as usual for me. Mom has a lot of milk and Little Yu can’t finish it all by herself, so of course I’m happy to help.

One night, my mom was half-sitting, half-lying against the bed, one nipple feeding Drizzle and the other being held in my mouth. I was sucking with all my concentration when I suddenly felt a drop of water fall onto my face. I looked up and saw my mom’s eyes filled with tears. I was so scared that I didn’t know what to do, so I asked, “Mom, you, what’s wrong with you? Where uncomfortable?”

Mom smiled and said, “I’m not uncomfortable, I’m happy. I have a son and a daughter, a son who is successful, and a man who loves me. A woman who has made it this far would not change her position as emperor…”

Speaking of heartbroken moms, one question comes to mind: “Mom, did it hurt when you gave birth?”

Mom thought for a while and said, “It hurts, but it’s easier than when I gave birth to you. I thought it would be more difficult at this age…”

“I told you you weren’t old!” I said. “But…” I said, giving her a teasing look, “you’re probably not as tight as you were twenty years ago.”

Mom swept me a glance, pulled down his face and said: “You this guy, really know how to get a bargain! Let your big donkey cock a day constantly stabbing for a year and a half, even the tightest to stab you loose!”

After saying that, Gergel smiled and pressed my head to her breasts.

(vi) The sun, the moon, and the stars

After our one-year contract to rent an apartment expired, we bought a house in the neighborhood where my mom and I each had our own bedrooms, but with a shared bathroom in between, so we didn’t have to use the outside hallway to access each other’s bedrooms. Most of the neighbors in the area were also young yuppie families, and not only did we each have to work for a living, but because of our high incomes, the distances between the houses were large, further reducing the opportunities to interact with each other. Sexually, mom and I tried some tricks, like anal sex, but called it quits because neither of us was enthusiastic. However, we thus discovered that massaging the anus while licking the cunt enhances the effect.

My job is also going well. The company emphasized basic research, so I was able to concentrate on what I wanted to do, and I published articles continuously. In addition, my mentor when I was a graduate student always held me in high esteem every time I gave a lecture, so I started to become a little famous in my field of expertise. All in all, we lived a happy and peaceful life. There were only two things worth mentioning before Xiao Yu turned five.

First thing. Grandpa was critically ill, so my mom and I decided to take Xiaoyu with us, and the three of us went back home to visit. At first I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to explain Xiaoyu to my family. Mom said, “Our place is not like you Han Chinese, who like to worry about the affairs between men and women. As long as I don’t mention it, my siblings won’t ask. As for how to tell your grandparents, wait until we get on the plane.”

Grandpa died on the third day after we arrived. It was a week after the funeral. The night before he left, Grandma called me into her house and said, “I know all about you and your mom.”

My whole body tightened, only to hear my grandmother continue: “This kind of thing is not allowed by the Han people nowadays, but there are stories that have been passed down from our old life. I’ve been watching you for the past few days, you know how to care for your mom, you’re like a man. Your mom is lucky to have you. Lei, it wasn’t easy for your mom to venture into the Han Chinese world when she was a teenager. Your father was a good man, and he died at a young age. She’s your woman now, and she’s given you a child, so I’m entrusting her to you. If you are truly good to her, let her live a few days of comfort.”

When I got back to the US, I said half-jokingly, “Grandma meant for me to marry you, so don’t be so stubborn, okay?”

Mom smiled and said lightly, “Grandma Xu cares for her daughter, but won’t allow me to care for my son?”

I certainly understood what that meant in a rational way, but it was a few years later that I really understood it with my heart. There was one other anecdote that came out of this family visit that later became a topic of mutual banter between my mom and me.

Mom’s aunt is in her nineties. I brought her a few gifts from the United States. She happily accepted them and murmured, “The Emperor’s family has everything they need, even foreign things.”

I was confused, only to hear her continue to say: “A Chen when she was a child, I said she grew up to go far away. Sure enough, when she was less than seventeen, she was chosen by the Han emperor. Alas, Ah Chen is so handsome and dances like no one else, except the emperor, no one else deserves it.”

Turns out she always thought her mom went to college back in the day to be a consort for the emperor!

Mom later heard, smiled and skimmed his mouth: “You ah, than the Han Chinese emperor blessing is even greater, and even the Queen Dowager is consumed!”

Second thing. Mom started a dance school, and it became more and more famous. After Xiaoyu was one and a half years old, my mother negotiated with a nearby church to borrow one of the rooms where they practiced singing and went dancing every morning. This way mom could exercise and not miss taking Xiao Yu, because the room was big, there was only one piano in it, and it would not be dangerous for Xiao Yu to walk around, and it would also let Xiao Yu be exposed to a little bit of music and the rhythm of the body from a young age.

One day, a middle-aged wife named Nora was very excited to see her mom dancing once in a while, saying that she and her husband loved to watch dances, but rarely saw one as good as her mom. She asked Mom if she would be willing to teach their middle school daughter. Mom readily agreed. At first, Nora’s daughters took lessons from their mom on weekends, but later, more people wanted to learn, both elementary school students and adults, and they were divided into three classes according to their level. Nora volunteered to do the organizing and scheduling for Mom, and insisted that she charge each participant. Some of Mom’s students soon became dance stars in their respective schools, and new students were attracted.

Two years later, Mom had more than a hundred students, and her teaching hours had increased from Saturday mornings to five weekday afternoons and all day Saturdays. Mom formed a troupe of students who were good dancers into a troupe that performed on a volunteer basis for charitable organizations and senior citizen groups, and became an essential part of local celebrations during the holiday season. From the second year on, almost every year one of her students was accepted into one of New York’s prestigious art schools, much to the excitement of the circle.

Mom was so grateful for Nora’s help that she asked several times to split the income from the school between the two of us. Nora always smiled lightly and said, “My husband’s money is enough for us.”

In the end, she agreed to waive her daughter’s tuition and get a kind of like-for-like compensation.

The quiet days go by fast. In the blink of an eye, Xiaoyu turned five years old and was going to kindergarten. On the morning of the first day of school, I took off work and put Xiaoyu on the school bus with my mom. After dropping Xiaoyu off, my mom and I walked home. She saw me sitting on the couch and asked, “Aren’t you going to the office?”

I reached down and pulled her into my arms, grinning, “It’s been a long time since I’ve had my beauty in broad daylight, and I’m going to make up for it today.”

Once Xiaoyu turned two, she slept in her own bedroom, and it didn’t stop my mom and I from having sex at night. But I worked during the week, and on weekends either my mom taught a class or had Xiaoyu around, so we rarely had the chance to be intimate during the day.

Mom laughed silently at my words and said, “Beauty is old. More than three months short of forty-six years old.”

The sun shines on my mom’s face, I saw the tiny wrinkles around the corners of her eyes, listening to the faint melancholy in her tone, I can not help but feel a sour heart, and immediately said: “I can not look at the young one!” Said while kissing her earlobe, pulling her into my bedroom.

Mom stood quietly in front of the bed and allowed me to undress her. I quickly removed my own clothes and pushed mom gently onto the bed, kissing her breasts for a moment before spreading her legs apart and gazing at that familiar pussy in the morning sunlight. Probably because of Mom’s earlier comment, I felt that her labia majora were not as full as they had been when I first saw them over six years ago. It was likely an illusion, since it was nighttime and it was the first time I’d ever been intimate with my mom, and it was impossible to look very closely. But the topic of age naturally gave me a sense of history. I thought about the fact that this little slit had given birth to me twenty-seven years ago, and then to Xiaoyu five years ago; and that since that Valentine’s Day, this organ had been transmitting my love and desire for my mother almost every day, and at the same time transforming her love and desire into pleasure on my cock…”

Suddenly, the pussy in front of me lifted upwards and touched my nose. I only heard my mom say in a joking tone, “Hey, that place has already given birth to two children, and it’s still worth all this serious study! If you don’t make a move, I’m going to do the laundry.”

I took the lightly flavored and soap-scented nub into my mouth, stuck my middle finger in to lubricate it, gently inserted it into my mom’s anus, and then inserted my thumb into her vagina with it. With mom moaning, we began to make love.

Half an hour later, we both lay exhausted on the bed. Mom exhaled a long breath, was quiet for a while, and then said as if she were talking to herself, “The days go by really fast, Xiaoyu is already in school. In two months, you will be twenty-seven, it’s time to get married.”

My heart fluttered and I rolled over and wrapped my arms around my mom and said, “Then let’s go to Las Vegas next weekend and get married!”

Mom turned to face me and said: “Lei, listen to me. These years, I followed you to live a satisfied heart. You love me, love me, so great in bed.” She smiled, continued to say: “as a woman, I want to marry you, never leave you. But I’m not just a woman, I’m also your mom. No matter what happens between you and me, you are my flesh, I can not think about your future. It’s in a woman’s genes, it can’t change. I’m nineteen years older than you. I can’t grow old with you. I want to see you find a good girl while you’re young, start a family, and have a companion when you’re old…”

Seeing my mom’s intention, I hurriedly interrupted her and said, “But won’t you need a companion when you get old?”

Mom put her hand on my mouth and said, “Listen to me. I have you, and I have your family. I won’t be alone. But the way things are now, who will be there for you when I’m gone? Xiaoyu is your sister, and she will have a family in the future. You can’t spend the rest of your life in your sister’s house, can you?”

It occurred to me that my mom had let Xiaoyu call me “brother” from the very beginning, so she might have had a plan. Disappointed and angry, I said loudly, “I still have thirty to forty years before I retire! I don’t want to think about such things now!”

Mom waited for me to finish shouting and said in a thin voice: “But I have to think even if I don’t want to. In the past two years, maybe it’s because I’m getting old, and I’m thinking more and more. Xiaolei, you said you want to be filial to me. If you really want me to have a peaceful life when I’m old, promise me.”

I know mom speaks from the heart. If she thought she had delayed my marriage, she would have blamed herself for the rest of her life, but I only wanted to be with my mom for life!

Seeing my silence, mom sighed and said, “Lei, my mind is made up. If you are too stubborn, I will go back to my country. I’ve saved a lot of money teaching dance in the past few years, so even if I don’t work, I’ll be able to make ends meet. Besides, Xiaoyu is only five years old, so going back now won’t delay her schooling. But this is the next best thing for you and for me, I hope we don’t come to this.”

She paused for a moment, then added, “Honestly, we’ve been together for years, and it’s not easy for you to start over, and it’s hard for me, too. The good thing is that you can’t find the girl you want right away, so we still have a period of transition.”

I nodded with difficulty, knowing that it would be harmful to hold out any longer, so I had to agree to it and find a chance to remedy the situation later. For a long, long time, neither of us said anything, just looked at each other without looking away. I wanted to cry, and my mom’s eyes were red.

Suddenly, mom wiped her hand over her eyes, smiled and said, “Alright, luckily Xiaoyu can’t see us like this.” Her hand gently slid along my waist to the ass, slid through the thighs, and finally placed on the cock. “Let’s make a contract, until I have a daughter-in-law, I will use this thing for the time being.”

I knew Mom was trying to lighten the mood, but my chest was so heavy I couldn’t breathe, and my cock was resting listlessly on my leg like a sun-softened carrot.

After this conversation, my relationship with my mom remained on the surface as it had always been, mother and son by day, husband and wife by night. I tried several times to change her decision without success. In the end, I said that it would be unfair for her to consider only me and not herself in her decision.

Mom smiled faintly and said, “In the end, it’s kind of selfish of me to do this.”

I finally realized that this time, unlike seven years ago, my mom was not going to change her decision. Seven years ago I was only twenty years old and in a stage where I needed to concentrate on my studies, forcing me to get a girlfriend would not only be unhelpful but also distracting. At that time, the obstacle between mom and me was incest, a taboo in gender ethics. But gender ethics is only a product of a certain stage of social development, there is no inherent right or wrong, once you figure it out, the obstacle does not exist. Nowadays, the mom’s decision has nothing to do with ethics, but comes from the mother’s love that is molded in human genes. Time can change ethical beliefs, but it can’t weaken a mother’s love. Thinking about this level, my disappointment was palpable. I began to reluctantly look for a girlfriend under the expectant eyes that my mom shot at me from time to time.

At the end of the year, I met Anna at a company meeting of mid-level executives. At this time I had just been promoted to Director of Basic Research, and Anna was the Assistant Manager of Sales for North America. To be fair, Anna was cute, good-looking, and lively, without the shallowness and blind arrogance that characterized many American girls. Our interactions gradually progressed from going to cafes and talking to kissing and hugging. When doing such things, Anna was very devoted, while my feelings were very complicated. Kissing Anna, I always think of my mom, and I feel both a sense of loss and a kind of self-blame for being unfaithful to her. But feeling Anna’s hot and wet lips, I feel that at this time in my heart still think of another woman is really sorry for Anna. I often ask myself, and Anna’s relationship will be what kind of ending.

The ending came soon after. One Friday evening at the end of March, after Anna and I watched a movie, she invited me to her place. When I entered, Anna hugged me and pressed her lips to my mouth. My cock was soon hard.

Anna smiled and gave her cock a squeeze through her pants and before I could react, she unzipped my pants and pulled it out in three strokes. My lust was up, and I let her squat down and take the cock into her mouth.

It had been over two months since Anna and I had kissed, and mom and I had stopped having sex with each other unannounced. So even though I didn’t particularly enjoy oral sex, the warm, wet stimulation coming from my cock made me feel like I was going to cum soon.

I pushed Anna’s head away and said in a husky voice, “showmeyourpussy (show me yours)!”

Anna turned around and lay down on the couch, pulling off her jeans and panties and spreading her legs to reveal her sparsely brown-haired pussy.

I crouched down and sucked her nub into my mouth without thinking.

For the first minute or two, my mind went blank and all my movements were unthinking. I only heard Anna say, “Put your finger in.”

I reached out and inserted my thumb into her pussy, suddenly remembering that Mom would still let me stimulate her anus at this point in her life. Thinking of mom made my heart flutter and I couldn’t help but compare Anna to mom. I noticed that Anna tasted different from mom, besides the slightly fishy slutty smell there seemed to be a smell of roasted lamb kebabs.

“Can’t remember who Kelly’s more like.” I thought darkly.

Probably I was so focused on the comparison that I forgot to move as Anna’s pussy shrugged in front of me looking for stimulation. I settled down and concentrated on sucking, licking and gouging. After a few minutes, Anna screamed and collapsed on the couch.

She sat up and kissed me, took out a condom from the bedroom and put it on me and said, “Me!” Said while lying back on the couch, with a hand to separate the thick labia.

“Mom never does that.” I thought, suddenly thinking I shouldn’t Anna.

In the seven years I’ve lived with my mom, sex and love have been inseparable for me. Did I love Anna? Was I prepared to live with her for decades? Would I still be interested in other women after I passed her? In that moment, I decided to end my relationship with Anna.

I raised my head, looked at her, and stammered, “Anne, I… I don’t think… I shouldn’t…”

Anna’s first reaction was, “Did I do something wrong?”

I took a breath and said, “It’s not your fault. I… I think I have to… love someone in order to make love to her.”

We were awkwardly silent for a while and Anna said softly, “Thank you for being honest with me. I hope you find the girl you love. She’ll be very lucky.”

She looked down at her bare bottom and my condomed but already soft cock, smiled self-deprecatingly and said, “Ioweyouone.” I blushed and clumsily stuffed my cock back into my pants with the condom and apologized in a whisper.

Anna stood up and said, “No need to apologize. I really appreciate your honesty. I hope we’re still friends.”

I held out my hand and said, “We’re still friends.”

Anna and I maintain our friendship to this day.

On the drive home, my mood was getting worse. Even though Anna and I had broken up peacefully, the incident had left me both aggravated and annoyed, and it was all because of my mom’s stubbornness! I got home and angrily pushed open the door to my mom’s bedroom. Mom was reading a book on her bed, and when she saw me walk in, she subconsciously pulled up the corner of the quilt to cover her chest. Seeing that I was red in the face and depressed, she asked with concern, “Lei, are you sick? Or are you and Anna…”

Hearing Anna’s name, I could no longer control my stomach full of anger, shouted: “Anna Anna, you know Anna! Why don’t you think about me! I love people do not let love, do not love people forced me to love! You are not reasonable!”

Mom had never seen me angry, let alone such a rage. A hint of fear flashed in her eyes, and she advised me in a low voice, “Keep your voice down, don’t wake up Xiaoyu.”

My anger increased: “Everyone is more important than me! Well, if you won’t let me argue, I won’t…”

I took one step and rushed to the bed, lifting the covers off my mom to the floor, then ripped off her panties and took her feet in both hands and pulled her to the edge of the bed. I parted her legs and pushed them to the sides, then freed my right hand to unzip my own pants and pull out my cock, which was still covered in a condom. Somehow my cock had gotten hard. I didn’t have the heart to back out of the condom, so I aimed my cock down at the opening of my mom’s vagina. My vagina was dry and my own mucus secretion was trapped in the condom, so it took me a lot of effort to get my cock in.

From the beginning, mom didn’t say a word with her eyes closed, just her eyebrows twitching with each thrust I made. Perhaps because I hadn’t released the lust that had built up in Anna, I ejaculated after a minute or two. I withdrew my cock, hung my head in shame from the shared bathroom, and went back to my bedroom, where I fell asleep.

When I woke up the next day, it was after ten in the morning. I remembered what I had done last night and regretted it so much that I felt I would never be able to see my mom again. I was hiding in my bedroom, not knowing what to do, when my mom knocked on the door, walked in and said, “I heard you get up. Breakfast is ready.” She paused for a moment, and then said: “Xiaoyu is not at home, went to play with his classmates.” She said, “Xiaoyu is not at home, she went to play with her classmates.

As I ate my breakfast, I thought, “Whether my mom forgives me or not, this is a mistake I’ll always have to admit.”

I walked into the guest hearing, sat down next to my mom, took a deep breath, looked at the floor with my eyes and said, “Mom, I was wrong.

I bullied you, I… I’m such an asshole…”

Mom didn’t wait for me to finish, she hugged me and said, “Don’t say it. I know you are very bitter heart, it’s not all your fault, I’m not good.” Said while crying.

I couldn’t say a word, I just thought over and over again in my mind, “Mom, I’m so bad and you still forgive me. I’m sorry!”

We sat together in silence for a long, long time. I finally gathered my courage again and said, “Mom, I know that no matter what I do, I can’t make up for my mistakes. But I really wish I could do something for you right now, as well as my heart.”

Mom softly leaned on me, silent for a while, whispered: “Last night, too dry down there, probably pulled down a few hairs, and now it’s still hot. You help me see if the skin is broken, okay?”

When I nodded, she stood up and pulled me into her bedroom. She undressed her lower body and turned to lie on the edge of the bed, lifting her legs and spreading them to the sides. I knelt in front of her and gently brushed my hand through the thick pubic hair, noticing four or five spots of reddened skin on the two large labia. I don’t know how to alleviate mom’s pain, so I can only stretch out my tongue and gently lick at the red and swollen places, my heart filled with endless remorse for last night’s rough action, deep apology to mom, and a kind of aggression that can’t be expressed and has nowhere to be expressed. I can no longer hold back, crouched on my mom’s thighs and cried bitterly.

Shortly after the incident, my mom and I had a long talk, which started because I had been harboring apologies for my mom, so I took advantage of the fact that Xiaoyu was not at home to two-part joke and eight-part seriousness to kneel down in front of my mom and kowtowed, saying, “Mom, not only did I fail to protect you from the bullies, but I also bullied you. I’m sorry.”

Mom snorted, “You raped the Empress Dowager, and you want to muddle through by kowtowing one head? Kowtow three more!”

I knocked heavily against the floor, as if hoping that the pain in my head can compensate for my big mistake. Just after I knocked a little, my mom hurriedly pulled me up and said, “The Empress Dowager didn’t let you knock with so much force. If knocked out of the brain oscillation, who will be the emperor ah?”

I looked at my mom’s face and stammered, “Mom, I, I really regret it.”

Mom’s eyes reddened, pulled me into her arms, and said softly, “Lei, I know you regret it. You are a child with feelings. You did that night, but also because you have me in your heart, do not want to socialize with other women. This thing I also figured out, rush to find a daughter-in-law, the two may not be able to long, in case of divorce, on the contrary, the opposite is the opposite. Let’s do it this way, we still live like before, I promise to stop destroying you, but you also promise that this matter should not drag on indefinitely, if there is a suitable girl, must not let go of the opportunity. Okay?”

I nodded my head and hmmmed. Mom touched my head and asked me if it hurt, I shook my head. She looked at me blankly for a while and murmured, “Twenty-seven, twenty-eight, and you’re still not old enough. That’s all in the past, so don’t mention it again. But remember, from now on, you can’t be rude to anyone even if you’re upset.”

For some reason, this incident caused me to readjust my relationship with my mom. For seven or eight years, in my mind, my mom was both a mom and a lover. Now, she’s become a full-time mom again. I think she sensed the change as well. It didn’t affect the quality or quantity of our lovemaking. Quite the contrary, we have become warmer and more considerate in our lovemaking, bringing a deeper and broader fulfillment than sex to the whole process.

We invented a close position: face to face a person on a person in the bottom, dick inserted in, by lying down for the person lying on top of the top from the top of the head along the spine on both sides of the acupoints have been massaged to the tailbone, while the top of the person slowly moving up and down, slow motion sex, but also to increase friction in the front of the two people. Mom jokingly called this position “multi-dimensional small circumference massage”, said that this can simultaneously stimulate qigong small circumference in many points.

“But it’s more cost effective for me,” Mom said with a smile, “because that big thing of yours also helps me open up the meridians inside.”

We often talk about what we saw that day, reminisce about past anecdotes, tease each other’s eroticism, and express our mutual affection during our multi-dimensional mini weekly massages.

(VII) A Dream of Nanke

A year went by. One day at the end of June, I returned to my office after a meeting to find that my mom had left me a phone call saying that she was planning to invite one of her students to dinner and asked me to pick up a couple of vegetables at the end of the day. I got home and my mom wasn’t home yet. I was washing the vegetables when I heard my mom’s laughter coming from outside, and Xiaoyu rushed through the door, saying excitedly, “We have a guest!”

I turned around and couldn’t help but freeze after politely greeting my guest. The guest was a young white woman, beautiful and poised. This kind of person wasn’t uncommon among Mom’s students, but there was something in this person’s features that I couldn’t tell if it was familiar or unfamiliar. What surprised me even more was that while shaking my hand, she said in slightly southern accent but very fluent Chinese, “My name is Wu Yuqian, and my French name is Monique. We are in the same company.”

It turns out that Ngoc Ngoc Sinh’s grandfather was a young and promising Vietnamese-Chinese entrepreneur who married the daughter of his French business partner. When the August Revolution took place in Vietnam in 1945, he moved his family to France. Ngoc Ngoc Sin is a quarter Chinese, so there are still faint traces of Asian in her brow. Her grandfather insisted that all the children in the family go to Chinese school and all speak Chinese at home. She finished college in France and went to a prestigious school on the west coast of the U.S. for her doctorate, which she just graduated from this year. Perhaps due to family influence, she grew up loving oriental dance and became her mother’s student shortly after arriving.

The atmosphere at dinner was pleasant. The teacher and the student were laughing like silver bells from time to time. You could tell that the two of them got along very well. It was already late when the guests left. Mom returned to the guest, looked at me with mischievous eyes, and asked with a smile, “How is this girl?”

I was momentarily embarrassed and didn’t know how to answer.

Mom still smiled and said: “Well, I’m not going to give you a hard time. But remember your promise: don’t miss your chance to meet the right girl. Don’t forget, you like people, they may not like you! Just want to wait for the rabbit can not.”

Mom walked to the stairs, turned to look at me again, and said, “The Queen Mother is tired tonight and would like to sleep by herself. Is that okay, Your Majesty?”

I could see Mom’s intention; between men and women, first impressions are often important. If I was indeed interested in Wu Yuqian, mom didn’t want that incipient feeling to be diminished by her presence. I nodded and silently walked back to my bedroom.

Yu Qian became a regular visitor to my house. At first, I often felt uncomfortable when I thought about my mom’s intentions. But slowly, I had to admit that I did like her. She was similar to my mother in many ways, very smart but not crazy, funny but not shallow, and had a great sense of humor when she laughed. Intuitively, I knew she had a crush on me too.

Gradually, Yu Qian spent more time with me when she visited than talking to her mom, and our meeting places gradually went beyond the confines of my home.

During the first few months of knowing Yuxian, mom and I had sex as usual. Mom only occasionally jokingly asked me why I was still interested in her as an old woman after seeing Yu Qian. Once, mom was on top and I was on the bottom doing a small circumference massage. Mom suddenly stopped moving, head on my shoulders, gently said: “Lei, you and Yu Qian’s relationship either towards the front, or towards the back, but can not always be like you are now so foot on two boats. I said not to destroy you. As long as you’re not engaged to someone, I’m happy to make out with me whenever you want. But I want you to handle this with mature judgment, both for yourself and for your future wife.”

I lay in silence for two or three minutes and said, “Mom, I wish I could afford you too.”

Mom smiled silently and said: “I know. If you can find a good girl, start a family and have children, you’ll have done right by me. Lei, Yuqian likes you, and you like her too… well, I won’t say any more.”

That day, without a word, we made love, without a word, cleaned up the cum that Mom and I had ejaculated, and then without a word, cuddled together and lay in the dark for a long time before falling asleep. After that, Mom and I had two more times, and then we slept apart without a word to each other.

Since then, my contact with Yu Qian has transitioned from chatting to flirting and then to kissing. In this transition, Yu Qian is more active than me, because my subconscious, I still feel that dating Yu Qian sorry mom. But at the same time, I also know that I did fall in love with Yu Qian.

On Christmas Day, the company was on vacation, and Yuk Sin left for France on the Friday morning before the holiday to be with her family. I drove her to the airport. Since it was still early, she let me park the car in a remote corner of the parking lot, and then hugged and kissed me in the car. My arousal grew, and without thinking, I held her breasts through her sweater and rubbed them. Yuk Sin’s moans grew louder and louder.

Suddenly, she reached for her belt and said in broken English and French, “Lei, I’m so horny. Touchezmachatte… (Lei, I’m so horny.) Touch me…)”

I slipped my hand into her panties, sliding over the smooth belly and pubic hair, and gently rubbed the swollen, hardened nub with my fingertips. Her body shuddered and she quickly came. When her breathing returned to normal, I smiled and kissed her, saying, “You’re a good fucker, you came in just a few strokes.”

She made a face, looked at the bulge in the front of my pants and asked me if I wanted it too. My “yes” almost came out of my mouth, but I raised my hand to look at my watch and said, “We’re leaving in 40 minutes or so, and you still have to clear customs. Time to go.”

Yu Qian reluctantly glanced in the direction of my cock, and said into my ear, “When I come back from France, I want you to give me a present.”

“I’ll give you anything you want (anythingyouwant).” I said.

Yu Sin put her hand on my cock and said, “I want you to put this where it belongs.”

I shuddered inside and nodded very seriously.

On the way back to the office, I kept asking myself, “I want to give Yuxian what she wants, but can I give it to her with peace of mind?”

Back in the office, I heard the phone call left by my mom asking me to come home not too late in the afternoon, preferably around five o’clock, without saying why, and I didn’t think twice about it. When I got home in the afternoon, I could smell the aroma of stir-frying, but I didn’t see my mom, nor did I see Xiaoyu, I only heard the exhaust fan in the kitchen and the sound of water in the upstairs bathroom. I changed into the clothes I wore at home and was sitting on the couch reading the day’s newspaper when I heard my mom coming downstairs. I looked up and immediately froze.

Mom wore a black cheongsam with her hair coiled high on her head, light makeup on her face, earrings that matched the cheongsam, and semi-high heels that made me feel like I was watching a fairy in modern attire come down to earth from heaven.

Seeing my dumbfounded look, mom smiled and said, “Xiaoyu went to her classmate’s house to spend the night (sleepover), and she’ll pick it up at noon tomorrow. It’s just the two of us during this time.”

I understood what my mom was saying, and my cock hardened to its limit in a fraction of a second. Mom swept a glance towards my pants, deliberately skimmed her lips and said: “Really no interest! There’s no point in rushing, you won’t be able to use that thing for an hour.”

She walked into the kitchen and said to me, “You’re probably hungry, eat a little first to suppress your hunger.”

I never took my eyes off my mom and swallowed, “I’m not hungry.”

“I’m letting you eat because I want you to have the strength to dance with me.” Mom said.

I could tell that my mom had everything set up, so I grabbed two marinated chicken wings and nibbled on them.

Mom waited for me to finish eating and ordered with a smile, “Go wash your hands and rinse your mouth, then change into something a little more dashing.”

By the time I came down the stairs, dance music was already playing in the guest hearing. Mom stood in the center of the room, smiling at me and nodding in satisfaction. I walked over to her and made an inviting gesture, sweeping her up in my arms in the process. Smelling the faint scent of perfume coming from behind Mom’s ears, I thought to myself, “Obviously, Mom thinks this night is very important…”

It suddenly dawned on me that this was my last time with my mom! My body stiffened, a cloud over my heart.

Mom also noticed the change in me. She took a deep breath, leaned her head on my shoulder and said, “Lei, I was talking to Yu Qian the other day, and she said that you were very much like a gentleman when you were together. I think it’s pretty clear what she meant, right?”

Not waiting for me to answer, mom continued: “Lei, one and a half months will be Valentine’s Day, we have been together for almost nine years. In these nine years, I have lived a very happy life, happier than many women in the world. Let’s celebrate today.”

I wanted to cry, but did not want to let my mom know, so I took several deep breaths to stop the tears that were about to flow. Mom lifted her head and held my face in her hands and said: “There are many men and women in the world who love each other enough when they first get together, but later they fight until the sky turns upside down. You and I have been together for nine years, and still get along so well, you say this is not worth celebrating? In addition, there is a smart and beautiful girl like you, this is the joy on top of the joy, even more worth celebrating.”

My mind was in turmoil. I knew that this day would come sooner or later, and I had envisioned how I would cope with it so as not to upset my mom. But at this moment, the only thing I could think of was to try to postpone the day: “Yuxian won’t be back for more than a week, we still have a lot of time.”

Mom hesitated for a few seconds, looked up at me and said: “Lei, even the longest banquet has a time to fall apart. Compared to nine years, why do you care about these few days? Xiaoyu is not here, we can be together without restrictions. We may not have that chance next week. Don’t you want to make our last time somewhat memorable?”

My heart fluttered, and I felt that I should indeed relish this opportunity, for my mom, and for myself. I nodded my head and rewrapped my arm around my mom’s waist, my feet catching the beat of the music again.

I can’t remember how long it took to dance, but my mom and I walked into the dining room. The table was set with dishes that both Mom and I liked. Mom pulled down the window? , and lit the candles. I was in a better mood and joked and laughed with my mom about dinner. I noticed that she didn’t eat much. She smiled mysteriously and said, “There’s a program in a little while, so I can’t eat too much.”

After dinner, my mom told me to clear the table and then go wait for her in the living room.

“Oh, put the parlor window? Put it down.” She smiled mysteriously again and walked upstairs.

A few minutes later, mom said from upstairs, “Lei, close your eyes!”

I closed my eyes and listened as my mom walked downstairs and came to me and said, “Okay, open your eyes.”

I opened my eyes to see my mom standing in the center of the living room, barefoot and draped in a piece of red silk. She flicked off the red silk, and it turned out that she was only wearing a bra that didn’t cover half of her breasts and panties that were too small to be worn.

“Next program, a folk dance.” She said, and the limbs began to wriggle slowly and softly. After a few movements, I remembered that it was the courtship dance, the one Mom used to do that Valentine’s Day night nine years ago.

I also recognized Mom’s underwear as a gift I had given her that time. Thinking about the design of the panties, my cock couldn’t help but swell up again. Compared to the last time, mom danced with abandon this time. Her legs opened and closed without a care in the world as she danced, and each time she parted, her hairy pussy was revealed through the crack in her panties. Several times, I heard the “bla bla bla” sound of the vaginal opening as it suddenly opened up with a flood of lust. When the dance was over, mom stood in front of me gasping for air. I reached around her ass and pressed my face into her heaving belly.

Mom stood motionless for a while, then suddenly raised one foot on the arm of the sofa, pushed her ass forward, pushed her exposed pussy up in front of me, and said in a hoarse voice, “I didn’t wash it in the shower just now, do you smell it?”

I took a deep breath and my nostrils were filled with the familiar fishy odor. I arched the tip of my nose over hers twice and said with a smile, “It’s just the right amount of thick and thin.”

Mom retracted the raised legs, pulled me into the dining room, said: “Since the raw materials acceptance, the next dish is your favorite: morning mussels with dew.” Said the side like a magic trick out of a thick quilt spread on the dining room table, and then turned to lie down on the table, legs received in front of the chest.

As I sat at the table facing her, looking at those plump thighs and the pussy nestled between them, I couldn’t help but think back to the fuck that had made Mom cum for the first time, and to the male lovemaking that had preceded and followed it. In the light, mom’s pussy flashed a tiny silver light. I fixed my eyes on it and noticed a white hair in the middle of the thick black pubic hair.

Mom was really starting to age! A thought flashed through my mind: perhaps there was another reason why mom wanted me to start a family as soon as possible, she didn’t want me to see her aging body… As I was imagining things, mom reached out and patted me on the head, saying, “Hey, why don’t you eat what you’re looking at? Is the clam too old to bite?”

With a pang in my heart, I buried my head in the middle of my radiating hot, wet pussy.

After licking my mom to orgasm, I stood up, stripped naked, held my cock in one hand and aimed it into my wet pussy. The cunt was smooth and the head of my cock quickly pushed against the opening of my womb. I stopped there, while stroking my mom’s thighs with my hand, while smiling and said to her: “Remember? Our first time, I just inserted here you said inserted to the end.” I put my cock another inch towards the inside, and continued: “I inserted here, your whole body collapsed, and said that your inside is a tough road.”

Mom’s face floated over a layer of red, and then with a mischievous glance at me and said: “Hmph, when the mountain path, now already let you walk into the highway!” Said the body forward, Geger smiled and swallowed my cock rooted into the warm slippery in.

I was also amused by her restoration. Throughout the night, we made love at the dining room table and then moved to my bedroom. Our bodies never separated for a second, and it was impossible to tell when we were making love and when we were resting. The world seemed to be just the two of us. We used our eyes and bodies to express the attachment between mother and son, as well as to communicate the lust of lovers. The house was filled with the smell of male and female genitals in heat and mom’s unabashed moans like catcalls. It was only when we were exhausted that we drifted off to sleep.

I woke up a little after ten in the morning. Mom was already awake. She was lying on her side facing me, her eyes unblinking. I didn’t know what to say as I thought about the impending separation and looked at her blankly as well.

Suddenly, my mom snorted, swept me a mischievous glance, and said, “Xiao Lei, what you’ve done in the past nine years can be summed up in a three-word idiom, can you guess it?”

I shook my head. Mom put her mouth to my ear and said, word for word, “-You-Mom!” After saying that, Gerg laughed and hugged me tightly.

My lust resurfaced, my hands stroked my mom’s body with abandon, rolled over and pinned her to the bed, kissing her as I asked, “We still have time, is it okay if we do it again?”

Mom nodded with her eyes closed.

I parted her legs with my knees and said against her ear, “Mom, help me get my cock inside.”

Mom reached down and held the head of the cock to the opening of her vagina, and with a slight sinking of her body downward, half the cock slid into her. I began to thrust slowly, maximizing the distance of each one-way movement as much as possible. With her eyes still closed, her legs resting on my hips, and her arms wrapped tightly around me, she nibbled gently on my shoulder, murmuring, “You’re so bad… there are so many women in the world… and you’re so attracted to your mother…”

Her body bobbed up and down with my movements, and she bit back a sentence: “You seduced me with words… You teased me with adult movies… You taught me to talk dirty… You bought me crotchless panties… You licked me… You liked the smell of my sex… You pampered me… You made me pee in the bed every time… You knocked me up… You gave me a child… You were bad… You sodomized me… you raped me… you’re bad… you’re bad… you’re bad… you’re bad… you’re bad… you’re bad… uh… uh… uh…”

Moans gradually replaced mumbles as her body began to actively meet my thrusts. After ten minutes or so, she screamed and ejaculated a stream of searing cum.

I had thought I was cumless after last night, but looking at my mom and listening to her screams, my cum came in a slightly sore ? itch to jet deep into her pussy.

I don’t know how long it took, but mom said softly, “Lei, let’s go take a bath together. After washing, it’s time to pick up Xiaoyu.”

I stood under the showerhead and let my mom carefully wash me from head to toe. Finally, she cupped her cock in one hand and flipped open the foreskin with the other, washing the groove behind the head of her cock clean.

“Help me wash it too.” She said.

My hands slowly slid over her body, sliding over every inch of her skin. Washing hers, she lifted one leg to step on the edge of the tub and said, “Wash my inside.”

I put my finger into my vagina and scraped off the mixture of liquid from both of us. I heard my mom laugh and say, “Fingers are too short to wash deep, use this!” While saying this, she ruffled my already hard cock.

I rinsed my cock under a jet of water, wrapped one hand around my mom’s ass, and with the other aimed my cock at the opening of her vagina, inserted it, pulled it out, rinsed the slime off of it with water, and inserted it again. After a dozen or so repetitions, the vagina was no longer slippery and I felt the stagnation of the water as my cock plunged in.

Mom kissed me on the cheek and said, “Okay, thank you.” She said and walked out of the tub.

I used my hand to hold the hard cock, not yet finished. Mom walked to the bathroom door, turned around and saw my appearance, made a face and said: “Leave it to Yuqian. That girl is almost gluttonous!”

I stood under the nozzle wondering if what had just happened was symbolic: over the years, my cock had “soiled” my mom’s vagina; now, at the end of our sexual relationship, it was my cock that had cleaned her vagina. Maybe that’s what the English word “cleanbreak” means?

I got dressed and walked downstairs, my mom had already put the dishes from the night before in the dishwasher and was on her way out the door to pick up Xiaoyu. When she saw me, she said in a calm tone, “You can have lunch by yourself. I’m taking your sister out for pizza and then I’m going shopping and won’t be back until late.”

Maybe it’s just me, but she says “your sister” very strongly. I nodded, not knowing what to say. She walked to the door, pulled it open, and at the moment she stepped out, she suddenly stood still, looked back at me, her mouth moved, but she said nothing, and turned around and walked out the door. Through the sunlight outside the house, I could see the tears in her eyes.

On the second day of the New Year, I picked up Yu Qian from the airport and brought her back to her place. That night, I didn’t go home. The next morning, I drove with Yu Qian to the office. While waiting at the red light, she suddenly leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, saying with a smile, “Seeing your usual gentlemanly look, I thought I had to be a teacher for you in bed!

Turns out it’s only worthy of being a student for you!”

I was shocked, naturally thought of mom, face involuntarily red. Yu Qian said cheekily: “Yo, still embarrassed (embarrassed)! You are not like this in bed!”

She saw me silent, and kissed me on the face, said: “Lei, both of us are not the first time, as long as we love each other, other things do not matter, do you think?”

I nodded, my heart is full of gratitude to Yuqian’s understanding, and resolved to love Yuqian single-mindedly from now on. Four months later, we got engaged and decided to get married at the end of the year.

Mom bought a house in the neighborhood on the eve of our wedding and moved out with Xiaoyu. In retrospect, mom had to live apart from me sooner or later. But the exact cause was because I couldn’t help myself and did something stupid in the heat of the moment.

On a weekend in early August, Yuxian was away on business, and I was working on a research project at home on a networked computer. The problem was very difficult, I was a bit distracted, unintentionally swept to the calendar, suddenly felt a shock: August 10th! Ten years ago, on August 10th, also a weekend, my mom called from China and agreed to visit me in the United States again. The sweet, sour and bitter memories of the past ten years seemed to float before my eyes clearly, and it seemed that it would take a thousand years to sort them out.

I was lost in thought when my mom came into the den and asked if I wanted something to drink. When she saw my face, she asked me if I was not feeling well. I looked at her, recalling the events of the past ten years, and said quietly, “Mom, today is August 10th.” Mom froze, obviously not knowing what was so special about this day.

Suddenly, only mom and I were left in the world, and everything else disappeared without a trace: “Mom, don’t you remember? Ten years ago today, you called me from home and said you wanted to come back to see me. Don’t you remember? I didn’t forget!” I said as I stood up, put my mom’s arms around her chest, and kissed her without thinking.

At first, mom tried to push me away, “Lei, don’t, don’t do that, sit down and talk slowly…” but soon stopped struggling and leaned softly into my arms.

I kissed her and naturally placed both hands on her breasts, rubbing the already hardened nipples through her thin blouse and bra. Mom’s breathing was getting ragged. I slid one hand down, lightly into her panties, sliding over her belly and pubic hair, the tips of my fingers touching her nub. Mom’s body shuddered and her legs parted slightly. I rubbed at the nub for a moment, overlapping my index, middle, and ring fingers together, inserting them into her lust-flooded cunt before putting my palm over hers and rubbing the nub with the root of my palm. Mom gasped heavily and her lower body began rocking back and forth, prompting my fingers to thrust like a cock, while reaching out with one hand and holding my cock through my pants. I forgot about Yu Sin and was preoccupied with what was going to happen next.

Suddenly, my mother’s hand from my pants away, heavy pressure on my hand that wantonly gouge rubbing hand, stop my action. She mumbled to herself: “When Xiaoyu grows up, she will have a boyfriend and get engaged. If her fiancé does this behind her back, would you be willing? Would I? From the heart…”

Slowly but firmly she broke away from my hand and walked out of the study.

The next day, she took advantage of Xiaoyu’s absence and calmly said to me: “After you and Yuqian get married, you will always have your own home. Xiaoyu and I live with you all year round, which is inconvenient for everyone. I plan to buy a house in the neighborhood, the family can still meet often, the best of both worlds.”

When I opened my mouth to speak, she continued without stopping, “You’re going to get married soon, and you’re going to have children. You should be dedicated to your family. I have my savings from all these years and my daily income from teaching, so it’s easy for me to buy a house without your money.”

I looked at her in silence, knowing that she said in the right place, but still feel the heart of the empty hard. Mom was silent for a while, sighed softly, reached out and touched my face, said softly: “Lei, take advantage of the good times now, focus on living a good life with Yu Qian, huh?”

The wedding of Yu Qian and I took place as scheduled. Now she is six months pregnant. Every week or two, we get together with my mom, Xiaoyu, for dinners or outings. I love Yu Qian with all my heart and truly wish to stay with her for the rest of my life. I know this is also mom’s wish. But I still think of those days with mom from time to time.

Xiaoyu looked more and more like her mother. When I heard her say, “Brother this, brother that,” in a clear voice, I often felt an inexplicable melancholy and loss at first, and then gradually wondered, “Is my memory reliable? Is Xiaoyu really my daughter?”

Whenever this happens, I always look over to my mom, hoping to get some kind of confirmation from her. But all I could see in my mom’s gaze was a mother’s love for her children. There were times when I met my mom’s gaze and seemed to catch a little something other than motherly love in it, but that look was fleeting and only left me with more doubts. I thought of Kelly and after a few hesitations dialed her number from my office.

Kerri quietly listened to my account and was silent for a short while before she said, “I don’t think you should spend any effort on this. First of all, you have a wife and will soon have children. You have the obligation and responsibility to think about their present and future. It’s not good to dwell too much on the past and it will only affect your family in the end. I don’t think you’re the selfish type of man. Speaking of your relationship with your mom, I can attest that your former love for your mom was not limited to a son’s love for his mother, and I believe your memories are generally reliable. If you wish to know yourself, it is enough for you to know this fact; why should you have to beg, without abandonment, for proof that certain specific events took place or not?”

I was speechless. She paused for a few seconds and then said, “People have a tendency to idealize events in their memories, especially those that involve the emotions of the people involved. The smarter a person is, the more likely they are to idealize memories, because people with high IQs are usually rich in associative abilities and have a high degree of creativity when imagining. For this reason, dwelling too much on the veracity of past events in terms of details is not only not beneficial to other family members, it is also detrimental to your own mental health.”

I was convinced by Kelly, thanked her. I heard her say: “Lei, do you remember? Back then, you because of the idea of incest to seek my help, I once suggested that you speak out your mind, because it is better to speak out than to hold in the heart. Now, if you for this more than ten years of experience and agonized, may wish to write out your memories. On the one hand this will help you release your mental burden, and on the other hand you will really see in the process of writing that each recollection is an idealization and re-creation of a past event. I don’t need to tell you that you know that such manuscripts should be kept safe. But by all means, never use the names of real people and places.”

I thanked Kelly again, invited her to my house sometime, and hung up the phone.

–hence the story.

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