Our first night was on our wedding day, and it was about eleven o’clock when we did it. On the wedding day I was busy and tired all confused, others let do what I did, as if the marriage program from ancient to modern times are so tedious. He undressed me and my face burned, it was the first time I was naked in front of a man. He frantically kissed me all over the body, hand touching my lower body, that kind of frenzy also aroused my passion, the bottom of the inevitable flooding, he inserted, I was stimulated by a mouth wide open and did not dare to scream out … the first time to appreciate sex is really good, I am comfortable and do not know what to do. Think about the first time from now there are nearly twenty years I still remember very clearly, and even every detail, because I in the memory of countless times to relive the scene.
When we first got married, we did it very often, and then gradually less and less, and the pleasure is not as strong as before, maybe the physical pleasure is still there, but the psychological freshness has passed. Only when he traveled to the field seminar study time is too long, I can experience my need is very strong, with my fingers to learn his appearance in my vagina, looking at the wall wedding photo of him, imagining that he is lying on my body. It was indeed a goodbye, and when he came back we did it to our heart’s content, and it felt much better than usual.
After having a child, we tasted the pleasure and sense of accomplishment of fatherhood and motherhood, I glance at my son from time to time to look at him, the heart is really sweet, the child is our crystallization, with the characteristics of the two people, the feeling of wonderful and happy, the first few years of our feelings are very good and very good, but marriage is really hard to escape the seven-year itch, really in the seventh year, he was cold to me, and I talk less, the sexual requirements than before! A lot less, I was panicked I do not know what did wrong, ask him he did not say, I try to be gentle to him, do housework is also diligent, but it is useless he is just increasingly cold, my heart is gradually cool, but also know that his heart another belongs to the course of our marriage completed more than nine years, he proposed to divorce all I can do is to be powerless to agree to. I know I can’t get his heart back. I want the child, he gave me the house and most of the property, he was almost out of the house. Divorced less than a year after he remarried, is and his unit, then I do not understand what I have bad, than that person, as a wife’s share of the things I do all good, treat his parents and his own parents as filial piety, his brother’s family children I treat as their own, which year are given to the New Year’s money to buy clothes, how to change this result, that two years I really have a sense of frustration life is very dark, and later on, I think that for the sake of the child I can not always be that way. Think for the sake of the child I can not always be like that must go out, originally is a single-parent family I again character of the gloomy, the growth of the child will be too unfavorable. There are many relatives and friends to introduce me to the object, I began to have no interest at all, and then want to give the child a complete family it, try to socialize, but I did not expect the child’s reaction is too big, to come home to the man as an enemy, I do not want to upset the child, and then some of their own fear of marriage not much confidence also did not try, and then no one to introduce it.
I have a guilty conscience about my son, my education was not successful, although I was a student when I studied pedagogy, also studied early childhood education preschool education. But when it comes to my own child, I can’t bear to work hard for him, I always try to give him a comfortable environment and prepare everything for him, but I never gave him a chance to be independent, which resulted in his poor self-care ability and his dependence on me to stand on his own feet. Even though I understand this now, I still can’t bear to let him go and let him exercise. When he first started high school, some teachers suggested that I let him live in the school and I didn’t feel comfortable about it, saying that it was so close to home, so why spend the boarding fee. Some teachers let their children live in the school to save their children’s lives and to train them, but I am glad that my son is very smart and has good grades, and he is also very tall and handsome.
A woman with a child’s life is really difficult, not only economically, but also more spiritual and environmental pressure, the child is still small I can’t say some things to him at home, such as the work of the unhappy what said he wouldn’t understand, a lot of people around me don’t understand me, I live on my own, there is no man at home to rely on everything on their own, to buy rice to buy flour is to carry their own to the upper floors, and don’t look for help or pay a hired man, I don’t want more people to know that I don’t have a man, even strangers, physically tired but in my heart more bitter, crying and tears. I do not want more people know that I do not have a man, even if it is a stranger, the body is tired, but the heart is more bitter, want to cry without tears, the same building hole in a young man saw me always that kind of eyes staring at me, I was really afraid to know what is called the unsuspecting eyes, if I have a husband in the heart of the bottom of the much more, but in fact I do not have, I was always afraid that he would break into my house one day, so each time before opening the door So every time before opening the door to see if there is no one behind, into the house quickly lock the door, now think of that is a deep sense of inferiority, and then I can not see the youth probably moved away, after so many years my mind is slowly calm. My son has grown up to be a tall man, and having a man at home makes a difference.
Loneliness in the late night after the divorce is very difficult to endure, whenever the physiological cycle of the strong need of those days, I really hope that there will be a man to comfort me to meet me, but that is impossible, can meet me only their own hands, the wall of the wedding photo has long been taken down, began to fantasize about the object or the ex-husband, although he can not say that it is love is not a grudge, but I once I decided that my whole life are his people I can only make love to him, gradually the mind is not the image of him, but no matter who is the sadness and loss of existence after masturbation. Gradually, the image of him is no longer in my mind, but whoever it is, after masturbation, that kind of sadness and loss is there. Especially when you fantasize about your son. But the next time you can’t help but fantasize about it, the image of your son lingers in your mind until after the orgasm, and then your mind goes blank, and after a while there’s not only sadness but also a deep sense of self-loathing. I don’t want to, but my long-term contact can rely on only son of this man, in fact, he and I are dependent on each other, sometimes he lies in my arms, my heart is full of maternal love and compassion, and sometimes I also lie on his chest in his arms, I have a small woman’s heart. There is a very solid happiness in my heart, as if my son is my man.
I have always been in contact with the male is my son, we are not like other families of mother and son have any taboo, perhaps because I have been treating him as if he was a child, even though he is now grown up, I still do not feel at ease with him, care for everything, entrusted with everything, the result is that his self-care ability is very poor, I would like to let go of letting him exercise, but really do not feel at ease and cannot bear to do so, and he cannot get away from me, physically. He can’t live without me, emotionally and physically. Because mothers and children are naturally close to each other, not to mention the fact that we have been alone for so long, he loves his mother and I love my son. I’m so old that natural reasoning understand, but is unable to change, like staring at my son’s fit body and bulging lower body to see, I also know that the obsessive look is very bad but my eyes still can not be removed, the thought is one thing, the behavior is another, if the behavior is completely according to the idea of instructions, that the world’s mistakes will be reduced by a lot of errors, the error is the error of ignorance, I have been living alone with my son for a long time skin-to-skin. I live alone with my son for a long time skin to skin, and we also have a need for each other have a desire for this unapologetic, I think we understand their own and each other’s hearts, but who did not pick, until now happened we also rarely talk about this language. At that time we are careful to test, want to go further but apprehensive, both hope that the other will be the first to make a move.
I do not know from when onwards, my son looked at my eyes have changed, that kind of gaze even behind me, but also can be felt, focused and hot, I turned around and panic moved elsewhere, in fact, I know that I look at him when the gaze is also like that, he often sports body is quite fit, that kind of youthfulness is really very appealing, every time he is not shy to wear only panties bare upper body in the house when I walk I can not help but stare at him, his chest muscles are very attractive to me, but the most tempting me or his lower body bulging there, a see that feel their legs are soft, maybe women have male genital worship? I even want to kneel underneath it to worship it really, oh usually think he can’t do anything, but then I think he is a male with great power is very tall.
When I was a child, my son always slept next to me, had to touch me to feel safe to sleep, and then older is also the need to study I let him own a room, but still from time to time to come to my house and I slept in a bed, the excuse is always a lot to say that they are afraid of dreaming, that did not give the gas when the day is cold, that my double bed will not fall to the ground, but not to come over to my bed and do not go to sleep right away, always hugging me, but also like when he was a child, as well. Mouth containing a nipple, the hand also touched another breast, the difference is that he hours of breastfeeding is just sucking, but now he will use his tongue to lick it, really provoking me can not, I asked him son you are not thinking of childhood, he still contains a nipple ambiguous don’t know what to say, I don’t know what I want to hear him say is or is not, said I will be relieved: this behavior is nothing, just mother and son to revisit the past! . I will be excited to say no, I will have a lot of imagination, I have never been a very contradictory person, emotionally contradictory, decision contradictory, in fact, I was in the lower part of the flood, I really hope that there is something to fill it, it is his finger or that, but I do not dare to, for a long time we are in the edge of the behavior of this to get satisfaction, both is satisfied but also why is not the torment, but no one dare to break through the defense, we do not use the hands to contact! The other side of the that, once I really sleepy let him back to the house he did not listen, I turned my back to him, he embraced me to touch my breasts, that from time to time friction my ass, although through two layers of underwear I can feel it hot, then on the water, the heart is in the throat really hope that he took off my underwear stuffed full of me there, but I still did not move, a little while later, he went back to his own room I couldn’t wait to masturbate up, I think my son! I think my son must have masturbated in his room, but more often than not, he slept in my bed after we touched each other, so I didn’t dare to masturbate for fear of waking him up with the noise, and he was afraid of that too.
But the desire is too strong when he is not afraid of anything, once I slept for a while when I woke up and found my son’s penis in my face square, he was masturbating, I just opened my eyes almost screamed out but stifled I’m afraid that it will be very embarrassing, at that time there was no light quite dark he did not see me open his eyes, continue to rub him there, that not far away from my face, I thought he would shoot how to do it in case of shooting me in the face and I squinted and continue to pretend to be asleep? The action is getting faster and faster, but fortunately, he stretched out his left hand when he shot, went to the bathroom and went back to his room. I was still lying in the same position as before, and masturbated while reminiscing.
I couldn’t help it when I held his head tightly pressed on my breasts, the sense of squeezing can bring pleasure, but a moment he broke free to go to the side of the mouth breathing heavily, because the mouth and nose are covered to suffocate, I would like to put my hand deep into the bottom of my there to stop the itch, but still do not dare to, and then again, our bodies are stuck together also have no room for me, I really can’t help it to use my hand behind me to reach in from behind the back is not to the bottom of the reach, the power of sexuality is really terrible, my left hand even pretended to slip from my son’s chest to his penis. The power of sexual desire is really terrible, my left hand even pretended to be unintentional from my son’s chest slipped to his penis, I did not use my hand to touch him that more than 10 years, too excited to try to control the excitement, the right hand in the vagina gently move, the left hand just placed on top of his that did not move, he also did not move. The arms do not dare to move for fear of moving too big son noticed, only with the fingers bent and straight, the body also try not to move, I still remember that kind of pleasure both repressed and excited, one hand touched his son’s penis one hand in his own vagina, as if the two hands can be transformed into one, imagining that the finger is his son’s penis.
I know that day will eventually come, but I did not think that I took the initiative, but think about it, my son has always been shy, not everything I took the initiative it, that night I had nothing to wear after the bath on the naked sleep, not much time my son came to my house did not wait for me to respond to me to drill my quilt, I was afraid that he found me naked with no panties, face him to the buttocks pouting to the back, he is still like that touching and kissing me on my breasts, maybe I was a couple of days in the middle of each month excitement period, the reaction was very strong, the hand again involuntarily reached his that on the vagina this time from the front of the body. I was probably excited in the middle of every month, the reaction was very strong, and my hand could not help but reach out to him on that, and the other hand reached into his vagina this time from the front of the body, at first he was lying on his back and then suddenly grabbed my hand and rubbed his penis, and then took off a little bit of his underwear so that my hand and his direct contact with the one, I was excited to death, and do not have to worry about what action is too big, the two hands forcefully masturbate for me and my son, he must be very comfortable and moaning softly. also must be very comfortable gently moaning, I really do not know then how to come to the courage, but also inches, once dreamed of this, but at that time and felt that this still can not meet, so he got up across his body, his penis to my mouth, down a sit down in the end, because too much water mouth also opened up a lot of it, that the pleasure is too strong I lay down on my son’s body, and he shouted out the body violently! moved a bit, I sat up again and up and down, but move a few body and soft involuntarily down, may not be satisfied with my son’s speed, rolled over and pressed me under the body and then very quickly move, that must be his first time, he did not a few times on the shoot very hot I can feel, but not soft down he did not pull out, or in the inside continue to move, God I’m really going crazy in the face of the immensely strong pleasure, language is too pale. In the face of such a strong pleasure, language is too pale, his second lasted a long time, I climaxed past him to shoot, and then lay there quickly fell asleep.
I think the light of the day on people a kind of constraint, is the world’s eyes, we are in the daytime less contact with each other’s body, but at night when the surrounding darkness, we seem to do not belong to the world, no one can restrict us, behavior really into a carefree crazy. I don’t want to think about the future.
The most difficult to break through is the first time, break through that layer will not be so difficult, my son and I do it very often as when I was first married, our desire for sex so that we face each other appear to be so greedy, I greedily contain the son of that, it seems to be a kind of reward for the son of the son, he lifted his body and looked at me, as if he did not think I could be so proactive for him like that, he made a very pleasant and great sound! I think the psychological pleasure may be more stimulating to him, I also looked at his performance to see him so excited I also feel happy, in general we do not do during the day, but there are accidents, once he did not have evening study, after all, the second year of high school is not as tense as the high school senior I brought, that I teach the class of the monthly examination I supervise the examination, six o’clock examination five o’clock more son to call my cell phone said hungry to me to go home to cook for him, I said you first cook some instant noodles and so on. I went back to the evening and then do, he did not want to eat the noodles I could not argue with him, thinking that also close to the finished meal and then come in time to go home and hurry to do, just put the plate on the son from behind to hold me close to me, I said do not make a fuss for a while not to catch up with, he is still not relentless, I was wearing the school ordered uniforms suit dresses, he lifted up my skirt in the inside of the touch, I may be a really sensitive person, a being I was touching all over the body is soft no resistance, strange I do not feel good people touch me I am also that feeling, he removed my inside clothes, with a hard that rubbed my lower body, where immediately wet, son slowly inserted, I suddenly remembered that in case of late, if a few classes of students can not be examined, the paper is still in my place, and then got up and said no don’t do it, but my son held me and inserted, I have no choice but to call my class first. I have no choice but to make a phone call to my class representative, let him go to my office in a while to take out the paper first, so basically missed the question, but there is no way, my son’s body refused to leave my penis are not out, must be with me to the living room to get a cell phone, I accounted for the students, my son behind me and also hard to move, I’m afraid that the sound is too big to be heard on the phone, but also afraid of me can not stand to make a sound, but his hands! But he held my waist I could not push him to use his hands to block the back of the buttocks. I explained clearly after the phone hung up quickly, said to go to the bedroom to hurry up, he did not want to go to the kitchen, I was top only bent over to go, my hand just hold on the stage he accelerated the speed, my body is slowly down the pile, the upper body lying on the counter, the legs of the soft to kneel on the ground, my son held my waist upward lifting the hard to hit me, that time to do a very long time, he ejaculated and I said, do not eat （（））（（））（））（（）（）（）ã Instant noodles to eat on the line, let me quickly go to work, I was angry and love ah, a classroom had lowered their heads to answer the question of the students looked up at me a glance, I was shocked to feel that they seem to know what I just did, fixed thinking about that is impossible.
Writing these words and remembering those things also gives me a very exciting feeling of satisfaction, I’m wet down there again . Just listen to it, it’s a lot easier on my mind anyway…