It’s still raining, endlessly, in Taipei during the plum rainy season.
I walked lazily towards that office building with my umbrella. It’s still a while before the end of the day, she should still be fighting with that pile of numbers, right? Checking my wristwatch, it was just after five o’clock, so I had an hour’s gap to observe the pedestrians coming and going.
The traffic police began to stand at the intersection to direct the vehicles, the Speedmaster Lu clattered past me, splashing my shirt, the rainy street scene, the unfortunate passersby.
Is a sunny girl suitable for the rainy season? I bow my head in fear, the rose in my hand is slightly drooping because of its bloom, is it a symbol of the end of love? Maybe I should buy a bouquet of pure lilies?
She steps out of yellow cab, 5:52, (she’s not in the office?). Left hand on his arm. Smile still wide despite the rain, maybe I should quit this game? I thought.
How did the enthusiasm die? Was it the damn rain? Or was it the pressure of love? She and he disappeared inside the doors of the building, and I didn’t have the courage to go up to Rose, whose head hung even lower.
6:10, her left hand is still hanging on his arm, he raised his hand to stop the car, and then disappeared around the corner. I put the bouquet into the trash can next to me, the rain soaked my sleeves, the umbrella edge of the droplets of water straight from the back of the collar into the two million people in Taipei, crowded city, the noisy East End, no one noticed my wet eyes, 6:35, all the cars flashing headlights, I left.
Sunny girls like passionate love, I like blandness, I don’t have enough light to make her shine. And so the love that was so strong was reduced to violent sexual intercourse, meaningless and violent, like a beast. I want to throw away and want to retrieve, can not give up her, but afraid of falling into the marriage, the end of the love, but because of her heat, or my refusal to burn? Anyway, he was her other choice, right?
7:20, black and white life to be remembered in color, the TV said so. There is a small photo of her on the table, a memory in color, the sky blue like the sea, that was the first time I used polarized lenses, remembered her in color, while I was still in black and white.
Like alabaster, like sheep’s fat, is her white, like paint and ink is her black. Damp with her sweat, not the damn rains, I pounded her, making her moan beneath me, murdering her bottom with pleasure, is this a memory in black and white?
7:30, Discovery sacrificed the python, it quickly grabbed the prey, slippery legs clamped on the back waist, like a snake tightly entangled, the regular movement is blocked, I will turn her over, quickly re-entered, the sunshine girl is already wet, but her cheeks are more brilliant.
8:00, today we’re going to discuss… Maybe I should discuss her diary? But she’s not in the habit of keeping a diary. The sunshine girl records everything in light, and I can’t understand the spectrum. The female legislator’s voice on the TV was rapid and shrill, less sunny and warm, and she preferred to moan in a low voice, leaving the spectrum in her throat, like a sigh, or a suppressed cry.
She came in unannounced with a carefully wrapped bottle of wine in her hand.
“The rain stopped.” She said, I raised my wrist, 9:30, maybe it’s just a coworker, sunshine girl always love to ride on someone’s arm.
“It’s my birthday, what did you get me?” She said. I think of the roses in the trash can, probably already taken by the maiden’s prayer. I shrugged, maybe I’ll go see my uncle tomorrow. She had surprise in her eyes and couldn’t see the joy.
“What’s the hurry!” She said. Maybe it’s not just coworkers, I thought.
Outside the window came the sound of ticking rain again, it was the damn rainy season!