But this time, I’d like to post an alternative article first. (For those of you who are not interested in non-erotica, sorry for the delay).
In fact, I regretted posting “Wolf Train” as soon as I did. The first time I posted it was right after the earthquake in Taiwan, and I felt that it was a bit… not very timely.
This time it’s a web article circulating on the mainland net. It is the story of a Shanghai man living in Beijing and a Beijing man living in Shanghai. (Author: Ning Cai Shen)
This article reminds my little brother of the Taiwanese Plankton Tsai’s piece “First Close Encounters”.
I don’t know much about politics (and I don’t want to), but Beijing, Shanghai and Taiwan are all Chinese. This small article is just a little bit of concern from an ordinary Chinese across the strait about the earthquake in Taiwan….
I really hope that all of you in Won Won are safe.
Bullshit, no work, Wolfwalk Dawn.
Halogenated Men and Women (I)
I said to the fat girl I would like to meet you, the fat girl said actually I would like to meet you too, and we both got together and started having to compare notes.
I asked the fat girl where you were IP, and the fat girl thought I was always going around willow honey, and she said she couldn’t tell just anyone but you.
Fat girl is not fat, I carefully argued, I once spent an hour PING her hidden behind the PROXY real IP, and then through the countless sites providing WHOIS services to find her ISP, I found that it is a named daso Shanghai computer company, the export is only one megabyte, from which I know that she is not fat, or not squeeze up.
The fat girl is not ugly, which I have also argued, her English name is Venesa, I checked all the ICPs that provide personal homepages to store space, all the directories with the ~ Venesa suffix I have visited, which, except for a white Mexican middle-aged woman who happily sells spicy potato chips, and a small black girl who strips herself naked and throws herself into a bubble bathtub to the screen to flirt with the head, the other looks pretty good, so I know that any beauty named Venesa is not ugly. Not bad, which tells me that anyone named Venesa is not ugly.
The biggest problem was that I couldn’t tell if the fat girl was a man or a woman, even though she was a devotee of the pure feminist Gina Davis, so I tried to call her to confirm, she wouldn’t give me the number, so I gave her my pager number to call me, and luckily, the machine said B26, which meant that the fat girl was a lady with the last name of Chow, or at least she sounded like a lady.
We have a common hobby, we love to eat the halogen-boiled fire roast. That is a snack unique to Beijing, a large iron pot piled up a mountain of haggis and half-cooked beef and mutton, the pot of dark red water is always boiling, see you come, fellows will shout “a”, and then nimbly put the meat into the pot to cook for a few moments, and add some of the crumbles of the cake in which, in a short while, a bowl of spicy and tasty halibut is put before you. Put in front of the winter time, sweat, every pore of the body will be with the bowl of strong aroma out of the crazy expansion.
The fat girl said, brine cooking is the hometown to her deepest memories, for me, brine cooking flavor always reminds me of Nirvana, looks quite dirty and decadent things, really eat in the mouth, will be fragrant all the way to the heart, in order to the only surviving eventuality Kurtcobain, I have to go to the weekly refresher. Since Shanghai can’t eat halibut, the fat girl will often be very frustrated, which makes her bravely take out the IP bomb under linux to blow people up to play, in order to save all the beings, I recommend her pickled multi-fresh, with asparagus and salted meat stewed in a light fire out of a fresh soup, that’s the best memories of Shanghai to me, in addition to guandan cream.
The world wasn’t very fair, and after trying it once, the fat girl turned her nose up at the salty, unsavory stuff.
The fat girl said pickled more fresh reminds her of Zhang Ai Ling, refreshing calm water hidden under the sweet, sour, bitter and spicy things, but she does not like Zhang Ai Ling, because it makes her can not help but think of Shanghai’s autumn rains Xiaoxiang, and this season, Beijing is high and clear.
I asked her if she was subconsciously repulsed by Shanghai, and when she answered yes, she added “except for Luo Zhongxu”. She asked me if I liked Wang Shuo, and I told her I couldn’t read it. I was told it was gangster literature, and I was an honest person, so I couldn’t read that kind of nonsense.
The fat girl loves to sing, sing in ICQ, sing in the chat room, sing in the forum, sing in any place where you can speak freely. One night, she opened a secret chat and sang to me fondly: “I can think of the most romantic thing, is to eat a bowl of boiled meat, after eating wipe your mouth to find you reimbursement of air tickets, hit the “fly” back to Shanghai to the online chat slowly,” the cheeky look, so that you do not have to fall.
Then she asked me, after half a day’s thought I can only answer: “I can think of the most romantic thing, not with you slowly grow old, it is best to take advantage of your unpreparedness, with money, beautiful women to escape from your side.” Fat girl said: “people do not care, money and wealth to me to stay.”
Fat girl to the night love to drink a little wine, a drink high love to learn to be sentimental, although she does not love to say sour words, but I know that her heart is actually more sour than anyone else, she said that she wanted to go home to think of a lot of people on the street want to find the Beijing people to talk to, I said you do not incite me, I also want to go home, I was tired of listening to the Beijing dialect, and always think that it is the hooligans only love to say words. She was hit back by her, she said you Shanghai lesbians speak like pigeons, what can not be heard to see a blood spray mouth muttering. The fat girl said I most do not see you Shanghai male comrades, one by one oil head powder face poor nose leakage whoosh also always love to dress up as a small open.
In anger, I told her, I will not take to see you Beijing lesbians, all thick skin, big waist, and always like to imagine themselves as the sister of the forest. No, it’s not Sister Lin, you Beijing girls are all Dumei’s, making a mess of everything and everyone.
The fat girl said, since you so do not see us, but also rushed to Beijing to mix what strength ah, I said I can not mix in Shanghai can only be to the stupid people in the pile, by the way, asked her in return, you are so homesick still always rely on us in Shanghai why? She folded a tie, frustrated, said: “When I was a child did not have eyes, by the Shanghai people’s deception, I had hoped to marry the chicken with the chicken marry the dog with the dog, did not think to marry a dog is not even as good as the people.”
I was shocked and didn’t dare pick up the conversation as she said goodbye and turned around to go down.
The fat girl asked me what Shanghai can be slutty place, I said I am an honest child to go to that kind of place since childhood, I advise the fat girl you really can not mix with the rush to go home, leave have left, but also a person wandering the world?
The fat girl asked me what is home, she does not think that back to Mom and Dad’s side even if it is home, I found Nalan Piao Xue’s acid post copy finished fierce paste, told her no matter what can not be mixed, like you so self-defeating, and in the end, nothing can not be equal to the blind.
Generally listen to me say this kind of nonsense, she does not like to pick up, she said around 10,000 people at the same time in the same time with her than this, listen to more than too annoying, I said I will not say anything else, I can say this has not been easy, you do not think that I am mother-in-law. The fat girl led my love, but she added a sentence, said my tenderness to her than when her husband chased her when she was almost meaning.
I said, “If I were your husband, I’d deal with you so you wouldn’t even have time to think about home. I told her that you must learn to overcome yourself, she said: “In this world, it is already not easy to live, but also every day to save the mind to ravage themselves? It’s hard enough to live in this world, but you’re still trying to destroy yourself every day. Don’t even talk about defeating yourself. Three times in a row, the big red word is so tired.
I said she so many days in Shanghai did not mix in vain, a word can be said several times, a bit of Qiong Yao movie heroine’s strength. The fat girl said I so many days in Beijing also did not mix in vain, literary skills deepening, a faction of scattered God more scattered strength, the exit is prose.
The fat girl asked me if I had a heart for her, and I said yes. She said she didn’t look good, and I said it was okay, a lover’s eye is a beauty.
She also said that in fact, not not good-looking, is particularly difficult to look at, I said it’s okay, really difficult to look at, can also be said to be the beauty of the soul, and then back a little bit, leading to the full development of the blossoming of the whole place, how to look good. She said her heart is not beautiful, I said it’s okay, the heart is not beautiful is not your fault, we can say “women are being sharpened by the years more and more mature”, some people say that mature women are the most beautiful, which can be said that “women are being sharpened by the years more and more beautiful,” you That’s good. Don’t push it. It’s not going anywhere.
She said I scolded her, she thought I was saying that she has been old, I can only say that she belongs to the kind of age does not leave a mark on the beauty of the woman does not discount, and finally added a sentence, I’m not more than a little bit of your heart ah. She said, “Don’t love me, I will break your heart”, the attempted porcelain, I can only say that she is really deep.
Fat girl does not love me, this is her repeatedly reminded me, I do not quite believe, because she is always running to the Internet to chat with me at night, and I talk about life and ideals, when she is happy, she said that she would choose a day out of the sun to float to the Peace Gate Catholic Church and a man with an earring and a plate inch wearing a black suit and can talk to get married, it is a coincidence that, in addition to a little stuttering, I am almost exactly meet the conditions of this So I’m sure she loved me.
I love the fat girl too, and I’ve told her that repeatedly, because once I was traveling for two weeks without Internet access, and I was in a hotel, and at 3:00 a.m. I started to miss her with my heart and soul and it caused a severe stomach ache, which meant that I loved her, but she didn’t quite believe me, she said that it was a hallucination, a mental leaning one must have when one is in a state of emptiness. Who knows.
The fat girl took a bath every day, and would report to me before each visit, and after getting my permission, she would have a short vacation of two hours, and in the anxious waiting, I was constantly worrying that she would wash herself out of her skin. She washed her hair with Vidal Sassoon, I told her that in foreign countries is a lesbian boon, she was more surprised, asked me how I know her this secret, I was flabbergasted, she told me that she is spiritually homosexual, only because of the soul has suffered a great deal of trauma and has long since lost confidence in the male cloud, I believe.
So I told her, I wear earrings means that I am also gay, she also believe, we shook hands, separated by a number of PROXY and ISP. then I said let’s pity each other, depend on each other, she did not agree, she thinks the same is the end of the world, meet each other, why not have known each other. I said the phantom gesture does not enter the juvenile field, no words only bleak, she said a drifting body, very cold heart.
I said the fat girl you should try to get close to me, accept me, a drum to find the life of the second spring. The fat girl said I belong to the bones of the Shanghai little man, sticky, no skin, no face. I don’t think that’s a character flaw, it can be interpreted as a valuable persistence, I told her I have no money, no house, no car, but can give her happiness.
After yelling “Why are you so vulgar?”, she asked me if I had read too many girlfriend magazines and my mind was filled with fantasized romantic scenarios, and said, “Do you think that there is no real friendship between men and women? It’s rare for me to find a man who doesn’t make me feel threatened, do you have to ruin that?”
I said, “It’s rare that I find a woman who is soulful, must you destroy this relationship?”
“Have we ever had a relationship?”
I was flabbergasted when I saw that and “popped”, I turned it off.
I lost sleep that night, and I didn’t show up for the next day’s creative meeting, which cost us a huge client. At dinner, I braced myself for a thief’s death and went to bed early, I was going to quit the internet. And my soul snuck out of my dreams, and without any obstacles, it powered itself on, and was about to make its next move when I was awakened by a phone call, and by that time, my body was floundering in front of my computer, with the dial-up network turned on and ready to go online. Upon awakening, I reclaimed my soul and tucked it deep back into my heart. Then, I put a lock on my heart and fell back to sleep, waking up to the light of day.
When I saw the long-lost red sun, all I wanted to do was yawn a few more times, stretch out and go to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, and my pager kept beeping and beeping.
Someone had been paging me since 3 a.m. Sitting frozen in bed, looking at a screen full of question marks on my pager, my decision was to ignore it. A coward by nature, I usually choose to run away before the cold front arrives. At breakfast, the beeping sound of the room hypnotized me, my mind could not help itself, my soul broke outward, it found an unfamiliar phone number inside a pile of question marks, prefixed with B26. stood in front of the mirror, practiced the rambling look over and over again. Dialing the number, the fat girl’s voice went straight to my ears “I miss you I miss you”.
I’m sorry to say it’s unlikely, but what happened was that she just asked me in a friendly way if something was wrong, because in the past six months I’ve never missed an online appointment without prior notice. I said I was probably sick, and she didn’t care, said “take care of yourself” and hung up hastily, and that was the first time we ever spoke to each other.
At that moment, if I had two thousand dollars in cash, I would not hesitate to smash my cell phone. The next day, I turned back to a dedicated advertisers, with actions to tell everyone “buddy has been working hard”. When I got home, I went offline after collecting the girls, and in order to avoid another out-of-body experience, I deleted IE.
Halogenated Men and Women (II)
There was a yellow wine client who wanted to do a promotion in ten Shanghai Benbang restaurants, and asked me to think of a slogan for the campaign. When I was making the case inference, the sunlight refracted my eyes from the window cracks, and I don’t know how it happened, but the only thing that lingered in my mind was that phrase: “the mood of other places”. The client is quite satisfied, entrusted us to the same time the plane things to organize a bit, I personally, asked for a wolf-hair, dipped full of ink, with the cursive to write the words again. I saved the heart, let them finish the computer processing for me to copy a disk.
When I got home, I sandwiched that 200+K JPG between a sister letter with only five words and sent it to her, which read, “It’s late at night, and people aren’t quiet”, and just as I was about to go offline, the electronic dog I have barked furiously, and she replied back, even shorter, with three words, “I miss you “. I miss you!
I’m going to Shanghai on a business trip to see my parents. After the meeting I didn’t go anywhere, I stayed at home and watched VCDs, my dad was surprised at my change of heart, he was worried and asked if I was having a bad time in Beijing, I shook my head. That day, I watched a movie called “uve got a mail”, in which Meg Ryan finally met Tom Hanks, the two were so happy that their mouths could put down a whole small Shaoxing chicken, I began to think about what it would be like to meet me and the fat girl.
Some people say that “the Internet is like smoke”, I think the Internet between us is not even smoke, at best, is a group of winter from the mouth out of the water mist, and is the southern winter.
In the trance-like shadow of the yellow lights, I again failed to watch my soul as it ran to its purse on its own to find a phone number, then took the liberty of picking up the phone and dialing, and the moment the fat girl’s voice appeared in the microphone, it ducked out of sight, leaving a sober and embarrassed me to clean up the mess alone, and I stuttered again, “Are you-you-are-you-okay?”
“Who are you?”
“It’s me, ahem…”
“Where are you?”
“I’m going home.”
“That’s when I realized you don’t speak enough standard Mandarin, how did you learn it from Beijing for so long?”
I asked, “Want to see me?”
“Don’t want to.”
“Want some halibut?”
She jumped up on the other end of the phone, “You did?”
“You have when you come to see me.”
“You threatened me!” She thought for a moment and agreed.
In front of a garden in front of a church in Xujiahui, the fat girl appeared at the subway entrance, as she was known to me. I took out a convenient pack of halibut and handed it to her, and she looked at me with a smile and said, “You don’t look much like your picture, you look small.”
The answer was, “You’re so unlike what I imagined you to be, showing skinny, and what kind of fat girl are you if you’re so skinny?”
“I’m fighting to get fat, and I’ll be waiting for your marinara to give me some nutrients when I see it.”
I complimented her, “You’re pretty good looking.”
The fat girl blushed, which I didn’t expect, on the internet she’s a full of no-nonsense energy.
I asked her, “Would you have come to see me if there was no halibut?”
She laughed, “Yes, but I have to carry a hand anyhow, I can’t just come out as soon as you invite me, how indiscreet is that! Not my style.”
“Why are you so poor?”
“Why are you so honest, you’re not so talkative with the internet!”
I took her hand from the garden to Xujiahui walk, not paying attention, actually walked to Hengshan Road, we entered a red tea shop, sat down to rest, and then I had the opportunity to scrutinize her. I told her again: “You’re so pretty.”
Her face is red again, this scene repeated many times, I suddenly doubt the authenticity of this event, so secretly picked up his own hand and bit, quite painful, then probably not a dream. Just when I thought of this, I vaguely heard my father’s voice: “Get up, the food is cold.” Then I felt a cold body, I was pulled out of the dream by my father, I and the fat girl once again separated, lost.
I decided to actually call her for once, dialing the number, I was very calm: “I’m in Shanghai now, are you okay?”
After a few words, I asked her if she was willing to see me, she said it was inconvenient, I said I was already divorced, what’s inconvenient about it? She said that there are many wrongs and wrongs in front of the widow’s door, and I said, “It’s okay, I’ll just make up as a woman, it would have been like that anyway.”
She said, “Never, the neighbors are already suspecting I’m gay.”
I was a little anxious, “I came to your office to see you, I know you’re in Daso.”
She was extremely surprised and asked me how I knew, I said through the IP and she laughed and said I was a voyeur. I said it was because I love you.
She said, “That’s not a problem, there are people who have never seen each other in their lives but are in love, why don’t you learn from them?”
Defeated and looking rather forlorn, I said, “Actually, I just wanted to see you.”
She said, “Actually, I’d like to meet you, but I’m pretty sure I’d fall in love with you if I did, so I’d rather not.”
I asked, “Are you afraid of getting hurt again?”
She laughed and said, “It’s not that I’m afraid of getting hurt, it’s just that I’m tired of loving too much, and I’m fine on my own, I’m used to it.”
I asked her if she didn’t have confidence in me and she said no, “Anyone can give me confidence, I just don’t think I need that.”
Even though I have a thousand words in my heart, I was stopped by these words. Hang up the phone, it began to rain outside, I imagined myself rushing into the rain to do a strong injury to the sky long whistling to the rain as a song, just thought of the addiction, was drifting in the raindrops stabbed, shook his head and felt that do this thing as if it is not necessary, turn around and go back to the house to turn out an old DVD watched up.
After a few days, I was going back to Beijing and called her to say goodbye. I said I was leaving, to get away from this place that broke my heart, to run away far away. She got the better of me and played dumb: “Who broke your fragile heart?”
I was not happy with this attitude of hers and hit the nail on the head, “You’re the one who hurt me, you’re the one who struck me down, you’re the one who destroyed me, and you’re still the one who destroyed me.”
She smiled and reassured me, “I know better than anyone that you’ve had a hard time, and there’s no such thing as forced happiness on the relationship path.”
With a hard heart, I jabbed, “You’re pretending to be sanguine, I know better than anyone that your smile is vaguely revealing of loneliness.”
She laughed out loud, “There is no one who knows me better than Jun. I should have married you in the first place.”
I said, “It’s not too late to marry.”
She resisted: “Missed once is equal to miss a lifetime, if the first time in the east gate of the Ditan and I met you, then there is nothing my husband, we belong to the love of the fate of the shallow.”
“You call that the times make people, I was only a junior in college at that time, I have nothing to run to the east gate of the Temple of Earth why go.”
Poor for a while, reluctantly ready to hang up the phone, her last words were “small comrades to work hard, the relationship road still play”, I said “back to the Internet and then properly clean up your”.
My coworkers say I belong to eat nothing to do to let themselves carry a little emotional debt to show that the spiritual world of enrichment, I said I belong to the attempted courtship is ready to love not to hate on the development of hate, into the Angel to see the fat girl my first words are: “I hate you”.
When the fat girl sees me, she sets the porcelain: “God of Wealth God of Wealth I love you, I love you to the core of my heart.”
I undershirt a cold, think there is a cat in this anonymous, stay on the side of the quiet to see what happens, see I did not respond, she came again: “God of wealth God of wealth I kiss you, like an old man gnawing corn, this is Dale taught me to say.”
I laughed out loud, “Okay don’t learn from this, it just scared the crap out of me.”
She scowled and asked, “Afraid of what?”
I said I may never be able to get my feelings hurt again, and she said I’m sure I’ll never hurt a second person besides you again, and that’s your prerogative.
I asked her, “Is this your reward?”
“It’s not a reward, it’s an encouragement.”
I told her, “After I returned to Beijing, I saw through it, the relationship is nothing more than that, I am going to remove your tablet in my heart, and find a girl to have a good time.”
Flabbergasted, she said, “That’s right, it’s long overdue.”
I asked her what she thought of my transformation, and she claimed something came up and she had to go first, typed a white out in big red letters and left.
I waited for her all night on the internet, she didn’t show up, and I haven’t seen her on the internet since. I have called her, but the line is either busy or unanswered, and I was very frustrated by this sudden surprise, and I regretted the seemingly demonstrative words I said to her that night. I changed to write to her every day, from around the trivial trivial to the company’s work report, from listening to the song miscellaneous to the movie reviews, thinking about what to write, each letter under the pressure of a 6-pound “I miss you”, the word is light and heavy, the mood of longing for the day more and more intense.
Until one day, I and a few of my brothers to fight with alcohol, drink high after crying out, so that the group in the seat of the anger, all denounced me the ugly face of the wimp. I woke up and realized that I had become a super blister eyes, and was determined to drive her out of my heart again, forever.
I repeated the trick I’d done before and deleted IE, this time even more ruthlessly, and just stopped even going online.
One day, three months later, I heard her voice again, and on the other side of the phone she lazily asked me, “Do you want to see me? I’m in Beijing.”
I said no, and she asked, “Do you want a halibut?”
“I don’t want to, I’ve had it every week and I got tired of it a long time ago.”
She asked again, “Yoo-hoo, out of the blue you are, not this time, not for the rest of your life.”
I said I originally did not expect to see you in this life, she hung up the phone. I stayed in the room sitting in a messy heart, no, white love for so long, how to have their own a statement. Do not see white not see, I found the number from the cell phone just dialed over, I asked her: “Where are you now?”
“I’m at the capital airport, the plane leaves in an hour.”
“Where to?”
“Sweden, maybe we won’t come back, so hurry up if you want to come!”
Hang up the phone I flew toward the airport, in Sanlitun was deducted three points, in Sanyuan Bridge was tailgated, but I still arrived at the airport on time. Into the marquee, my cell phone does not have a signal, only five minutes left from the boarding time, in a hurry, I shouted at the inside of the “fat girl,” no one cared about me, I was confused. In the entrance of the security check, has begun to boarding, I shouted “fat girl”, ignoring the whole field of strange eyes.
That’s when I saw a long-haired girl smiling and waving at me, and when I walked over to her, she had already entered the entrance to the security checkpoint and said to me at the end, “Thanks for coming to see me.”
I was anxious: “Come out, I haven’t seen you clearly.”
She turned to leave, saying as she went, “I’ve seen you clearly, and that’s enough!”
I yell again and she’s already disappeared into the crowd.
I ran to the desk to call a pay phone and yelled, “You’re so selfish.”
She asked, “I finally know what you look like, and it’s pretty much what I imagined.”
I asked, “You called me over for this?”
She said, “Mad at me?”
“What a waste of time, try putting it on you!”
She didn’t feel guilty at all and said slowly, “We both have different views on online relationships, you are forever trying to save it from the virtual world; I, on the other hand, just want to feel that kind of unattainable everything, in fact, this feeling is real and beautiful, I always don’t understand why everyone wants to turn it into a cruel reality? “
I said, “Is reality harsh? It’s just a shadow cast over you by your experience of failure.”
She didn’t retort and continued, “It’s good to be like this now, to know that somewhere in the world when you’re at leisure, there will be someone who will be holding on to you on a sun-filled afternoon, and that’s enough, that’s what it means to have been with you for so long.”
I said it was unfair to me, and she said there was nothing fair about the world in the first place.
She said the plane was about to take off and she couldn’t say any more. Thinking that we will never meet again, I held back the words that I always hang on to but have never said to her with my mouth: “I love you!”
She said, “I love you too!”
I added, “I love you to the core.”
She laughed, “Don’t incite me, it’s been so long, who doesn’t know who, wait for me to come back, maybe we can meet again when I can’t make it out there, and we’ll renew our relationship then.”
I half-heartedly agreed: “Don’t be polite, a small temple can’t accommodate a big bodhisattva, you’d better be determined to mix, and when you’ve done well, take me out to enjoy the blessings of capitalism too.”
“No problem, you stay well with your family and wait for my letter, one day I will come back and beg you to marry me.”
Hey, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I think again, the original scene to each other to say I love you when the end. Watching the plane rushed to the sky, my heart broke a hand, hobbling through the waiting hall, eyes full of tears, their own cover the mouth of the heart stoked for a while, consoled himself, said: “Go go go, to find a home for their hearts.”
Watching my magnificent seven-foot-tall body sardonically shrink and disappear from the screen, the audience casually tossed their popcorn to the ground and muttered in unison, “What kind of a crap movie sells for ten bucks for this?”
At that moment, two large, pale letters appeared shakily on the screen: the end of the play!