I remember on my 30th birthday, just as my company to expand the opening day, I was very happy to announce to the company’s staff today is my 30th birthday, I have been a five children – wife, son, house, car, career all together, young and impetuous me, I always think that I am just a child of the countryside growing up, today I can have a little bit of success, it is my hard work! Deserved reward, “things in the people, people will win the day” is my unchanging rate of iron.
However, good things don’t always happen. Perhaps God was trying to play a little joke on me, and the following year, my little son was born, a very cute little life in front of my eyes, with pink skin, a body of three kilograms, and the only difference with routers is that he doesn’t cry and doesn’t open his eyes, so my intuition tells me he is not a normal child.
In the days that followed, this little baby was subjected to a series of checkups, from newborn screening, ultrasound, magnetic resonance imaging, to the three-month-old’s diagnosis of “central nervous system damage”, which was undoubtedly a death sentence for my life, and I never dreamed that I would give birth to an abnormal child, who was so cute and lovable. I never dreamed that I would give birth to an abnormal child. He was so cute and so lovable, neither crying nor fussing, waking up and smiling when he was hungry, I just couldn’t accept that he wasn’t a normal child.
Like many parents, when we couples can’t find the answers we want in medicine, we will choose one of the most stupid methods – to ask the gods and goddesses, with this child, I realized that Taiwan’s altar of gods and goddesses can be regarded as an alternative to Taiwan’s strange, then as long as someone introduces me to where there is a famous masters and goddesses, I will not go far to visit them, no matter whether it’s in the mountains, no matter whether it’s in the alley, no matter whether it’s in the head of Taiwan or the tail of Taiwan, as long as there is a little hope I don’t miss it. I would visit them from far and wide, no matter if they were in the mountains or in the alleys, no matter if they were at the head or at the tail of Taiwan.
Looking back on those years was really ridiculous, as an intellectual would even go to believe in mediums and temple blessings, at that time in my heart always think, as long as the child can wake up, even if the family would not hesitate to lose. The years went by, but he made no progress at all, the little life was still asleep, and my life was still bleak and suffocating.
Just as some TV episodes depict, every parent of an abnormal child will always spend their days in a vicious cycle of not being able to face, deceiving themselves, and giving up on themselves. When my child’s severe disability handbook was issued, I had to seriously think about where to go in the future, and I had a very long period of time, just like the walking dead, with no tomorrow, no future, and I watched my child grow up day by day. As I watched my child grow up day by day, I really wanted to say to God, “This burden is too heavy, I can’t carry it anymore, really, I can’t carry it anymore.
People are so selfish, I often think, even if every two will have an abnormal child, I do not want to happen to me, in these desperate days, we couples have cried, the spirit has broken down, once thought that I can with the sky Bo, I realized that people are so small, so fragile, so unbearable, once wanted to send the child to a correctional institution, also wanted to take the child with him to commit suicide, and now in retrospect, the I realized that the most painful thing about people is not the plight of life, but the inability to face their own hearts and their own future.
God’s test for me is also considered to be a screeching, in the child Cellophane full ten years old, because of meningitis, sent to the National Taiwan University School of Medicine, when I saw the child in the hospital bed with an oxygen tank, full of tubes, when the doctor told me to be psychologically prepared for the time when I went home, I parked the car on the side of the road bawling, ten years my eyes close to the how many tears of pain, ten years I suffered a lot of pain and suffering, but I did not! I never thought that my child would leave me.
When I think of my child’s years in the intensive care unit, it was the calmest moment of my life. Under the care of the nurses and doctors, I found that it was a good feeling to let go of my burden, and in this case, a painful decision to take my child out of the hospital was ignited in my heart, yes, instead of letting my child suffer in the hospital, I would rather send him away peacefully, and even if the hospital retrieves my child’s life, I still have to face a vegetative person in the following years. Even if the hospital recovered the child’s life, I would still have to face a vegetable in the years to come. With this selfish and contradictory heart, I resolutely decided to be the executioner who would end the child’s life.
When the child was in the ICU for more than a month, we had almost finished the arrangements for the child’s funeral. We explained our decision to the child with a joyful heart, and I will never forget the angelic smile that the child gave me. The next day, I went to the hospital and signed the discharge papers. I took the baby in my arms to the taxi with his weak breath, and his breathing was so rapid that I knew he was making a last call for his life. As we entered our room at home, the baby’s trembling body went limp, and his little life of 10 years had left us.
Sometimes, I often wonder if God can not take care of every little angel, and catty let some catty loving parents to take care of them, or that God in order to let some people to find their own way faster, and let the little angels to guide them, examining the road I walked, remembered the thousands of parents in the world with the same encounter with me, I deeply feel that these little angels parents are too great.
Another sore in my heart that is hard to erase is the fact that my beautiful wife let a godly man cheat her for the sake of her child. When my child turned one year old, I met a ‘savior’ in my life, a sister who sells dzi beads. This sister was very kind to my child and gave my wife many high-value dzi beads, and soon my wife and she became like sisters. I was introduced to the ‘Master’ by her.
This master is really amazing, he only comes to Taipei twice a week, age of about sixty years old, cut small flat hair, suits well, open BMW seven-word car, the market price of at least four or five million, every time to Taipei patients overcrowded. His treatment is very simple, about ten minutes, charges one thousand dollars, about forty, fifty patients a day, however, this ten minutes can make you die and live, pain.
His treatment is to let the patient almost naked lying on the treatment bed, and then with a cupping device as big as a bowl, scrape four bloody marks on your body, and then use the scraping board to scrape your joints, and finally use his fist to drape and beat your most painful acupuncture points, ten minutes can be a whole you live and die, and his reasoning is that it can pay back the karma of the past life, or remove the unclean things on the body.
Of course, he explained to our couple why the child did not wake up with the karma of the past life, and he said that as long as our couple received the treatment once a month, after three years, the child would wake up. Then for nearly three years, my wife and I underwent this painful treatment once a month. Of course, during these three years, my wife’s office was like a second home to my sister, and she often stayed out all night, until after two years or so, when I questioned the master about why the child had not yet awakened, the master said that the karmic obstacles of my wife and I were too deep, and that he had to take my wife to mainland China to look for his brother, so that it would be easier for the child to awaken.
This incident aroused my suspicion, I secretly asked another lady selling dzi beads, he secretly told me that the master used my wife to converge and told me to go to her at two o’clock in the middle of the night. That night we sneaked into the big sister’s office, she stole a key from the big sister’s desk, opened a safe, took out a large pile of video tapes, and with the fast-forward way to play, each tape is a thousand examples of men and women having sex side by side, no subtitles, no spray, men and women’s private parts of the three points of the see clearly, the photography of poor quality as if shot from a pinhole camera, and even more so that I was surprised! What surprised me even more was that many of the men and women in it were known to me, and they were all patients who often came to see the guru.
She also took out a unanimous is the same as the male and female sex scenes, just the female protagonist is so familiar, do not look at the face to know who, she is my wife, my body can not help but hit a shiver, she put out at the normal speed so that I will never forget the scene, a woman in an old and fat man stripped naked in front of their own clothes, and in front of the man stroking their own breasts in front of the lower body, and then kneel down to help the man oral sex, and then the fat man pressed on her to do things that I had done with her, this woman is my beloved wife. That man oral sex, and then that fat man pressed on her, do what I had done with her, this woman is my beloved wife.
Then she played a lot of fast-forward, the same heroine different men, there is a one-on-one, one-on-two, there is also promiscuity, in the film my wife used all the men and women to have sex, then she slapped with me to tell me what happened, it turned out that the guru told my wife, she and the child are the reincarnation of the Japanese army officer, so this life to use the body to pay back, as long as my wife and the 49 men to practice together, the child will wake up.
The guru then deceived many patients by telling them that by practising with both men and women, they could realize the karmic consequences of their past lives, so in the past three years, my wife has practised with 49 men, and she has to practise with them seven times. Sometimes, my wife practiced with several men at the same time in order to save time, and the guru even charged each man $70,000 for the practice.
If watching the videotape was the first thing I regretted, then the second thing was that I followed my wife. That day I saw my wife dressed up and went out, I knew she was going to have a retreat with a man again, I secretly followed her and saw that she had left her children at her sister’s house, then she went into a hotel, I followed her in and saw that the elevator stopped at the seventh floor, there were seven floors in the hotel, I asked the lady about it and she said that there were four rooms on each floor but the seventh floor was a deluxe suite and so there were only two rooms, so I rented the other one.
Into the room is really luxurious, in addition to a large bed, there is a set of sofas, but there is no balcony, I opened the window over the window sill, only to see that the window has curtains, I climbed up the lookout frame to the curtains at the top, only to see that the curtains are still three centimeters of the gap fine, I look towards the delicacy, only to see the master only wearing a tomb to the watching the news, even more surprising to me the master tattooed all over the body, at this time, my wife came out of the bathroom, not a stitch of filtered, only draped in a bath towel. What is even more outrageous is that my wife was lying on top of the master, using her tongue to lick the master who was old enough to be her father, and finally took off the master’s side.
I saw that the master’s genitals were even darker and longer than normal, but they were soft and had no erection, and my wife was able to perform oral sex on him again and again. Later, when he had an erection, I realized that the master’s genitals were thicker than normal, and I only knew afterwards that it was called entering the pearl. I only saw that the master was very rough with my wife, and even when he inserted his sexual organ into my wife’s lower body, I could hear my wife’s wailing from outside the window.
Afterwards, when the two of them got dressed and someone knocked on the door again, and a middle-aged man came in, I knew that my wife was going to pick up another customer, and I could not bear to watch any more, so I went back to my home and cried abnormally bitterly.